


Writings On the Wall

by littlewerewolftori13, Redvines1595



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: 00Q - Freeform, Aftermath of Torture, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bond fucks up, Bond has an oral fixation, Bond has issues with a one night stand for the first time in forever, Bond has lots of feelings and panicks, Bond is a kinky shit, Bond is not okay, Bond sings to Q, Bottom James Bond, Bottom Q, Break Up, Clubbing, Coffee date, Conditioning, Dancing, Drunk Q, First Fight, Fluff and Angst, Good Intentions, Hand Jobs, He fixes it, Heartfelt Goodbyes, Hurt Q, Infidelity, James and Alec are bros, Kidnapping, M/M, Mixed Messages, NSFW, Pain, Past Rape/Non-con, Porn With Plot, Post-SPECTRE, Post-Skyfall, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Q is not okay, Q plays piano, Q sings, Q wears lacy panties, Sad Q, Self-Hatred, Semi-Public Blow Jobs, Semi-public hand jobs, Sexy Times, Spoilers for SPECTRE, Swearing, Swing Dancing, Tattoo Kink, Top James Bond, Top Q, Torture, awkward family dinner, beginning of relationship, finally talking about their feelings, flower symbolism, relationship troubles, very slightly modified Spectre
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 07:20:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 41
Words: 122,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6844669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlewerewolftori13/pseuds/littlewerewolftori13, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redvines1595/pseuds/Redvines1595
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You look ridiculous.”<br/>“Go fuck yourself.”<br/>Q rolled his eyes as Bond went back to scrolling through his phone, lips pursed dramatically as he leaned back against the wall. Q Branch was nearly empty except for the two of them and a couple of the minions, the perpetual whirring of machinery filling the air. “Only if you plan on joining me,” the Quartermaster replied without a second thought.<br/>The agent smirked a bit, glancing up from his phone to raise a brow at him. “Want to take a lunch break? Or I could help you clean off your desk again…”<br/>Q scoffed as his delicate fingers continued to fly across the keyboard. “Oh, please, 007. That’s unprofessional.”<br/>Bond chuckled darkly as he leaned in close to whisper in the younger man’s ear. “You didn’t seem to mind last week.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is essentially a RP that we have been doing for a few months now. If you want to keep track of it in real-time. Our Twitter accounts are @thegayest007 and @QuteGenius. Enjoy!

“You look ridiculous.”  
“Go fuck yourself.”  
Q rolled his eyes as Bond went back to scrolling through his phone, lips pursed dramatically as he leaned back against the wall. Q Branch was nearly empty except for the two of them and a couple of the minions, the perpetual whirring of machinery filling the air. “Only if you plan on joining me,” the Quartermaster replied without a second thought.  
The agent smirked a bit, glancing up from his phone to raise a brow at him. “Want to take a lunch break? Or I could help you clean off your desk again…”  
Q scoffed as his delicate fingers continued to fly across the keyboard. “Oh, please, 007. That’s unprofessional.”  
Bond chuckled darkly as he leaned in close to whisper in the younger man’s ear. “You didn’t seem to mind last week.”  
A blush crept up Q’s neck and to his cheeks, his lips parting as he let out a shaky breath. He shook his head a bit as he cleared his throat. “That was after hours.”  
“It’s never really after hours in Q Branch.” Bond chuckled again and pulled back, adjusting his suit jacket as he stood up straight once again.  
“It is when I’m the only one here,” Q replied, sitting up straight and resuming his typing.  
“We weren’t alone at first,” Bond smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Has that become an order for your minions? When I come in the door, it’s time for their break?”  
Q bit his lip. “I suppose you could say they… Have a certain code amongst themselves.”  
“Well, you’re lucky,” Bond grinned. “It’s the only thing that allows your little excuse.”  
Q huffed, his fingers faltering over the keyboards for a moment as he mumbled. “Well, it wouldn’t be an issue if you’d just take me on a real date for once…”  
Bond blinked in surprise, just barely managing to hear the Quartermaster’s words. “Maybe I would if you weren’t always busy when I have time to. You know I’m busy on missions most of the time.”  
Q shook his head with a quiet sigh, hardly believing they were finally having this conversation. “You know I’d make time for you, but you’ve never had the balls to ask.”  
“I have asked,” Bond replied, His brows furrowed. “You were never paying attention.”  
The Quartermaster scoffed at this. “I’m always paying attention!”  
“Yes, to your experiments, your minions, or even other agents flirting with you” the agent said with a sigh. “You’ve never noticed me asking you...”  
“Well, then it sounds just like every other thing you’ve ever said to me,” He replied with a roll of his eyes.  
“How do you want me to say it, then?” Bond asked in exasperation, running his fingers through his hair. “Should I write it out in computer code? Should I spell it out on a Scrabble board?”  
Q’s fingers paused over the keyboard as he let out a quiet sigh, turning in his chair to look up at the agent. “Just… Say it like you mean it. Like pursuing me isn’t just some game of yours.”  
“I…” Bond stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. “It could never be a game with you. Will you… Would you go on a date… with me?” He bit his lip softly, waiting for the reply.  
Q stared back up at him for a moment. “I, um…” He cleared his throat. “Yes. Yes, I’d quite like that.”  
Bond sucked in a breath, relief washing over him as a smile formed on his face. “I could pick you up tonight at six? I know a wonderful Indian restaurant nearby.”  
Q nodded as he bit his lip softly, trying to hold back a smile. He didn’t want to seem too eager. “O-Okay…”  
The agent looked up at Q through his lashes with a grin. “I’ll see you then.” He turned abruptly and walked out of Q’s office, stumbling as his foot caught on the door. Q chuckled softly as he watched him go before turning back to his work.  
The next few hours passed rather slowly for the two. Q continued to work, typing away at his computer as he anxiously awaited the arrival of six o’clock. His fingers froze suddenly over the keys as he stared at the screen. “Shit,” he murmured, running his fingers through his mess of curls before folding his hands beneath his chin. He continued to stare at the screen, reading over the code he had just typed out. Something wasn’t right. He removed his glasses and cleaned the lenses with the sleeve of his cardigan before replacing them on his face and looking at the screen once again. He turned to the rubber duck that sat on his desk. “What did I do wrong?”

Meanwhile, Bond returned to his flat, locking the door behind him and walking past the kitchen. He stopped suddenly with furrowed brows, retracing his steps to find Alec Trevelyan rummaging through his refrigerator. He rolled his eyes as 006 closed the door, a beer in his hand. “The landlord kick you out again?” Bond asked him.  
“No one appreciates modern art,” Trevelyan replied as he uncapped the beer and took a swig of the cool drink.  
Bond scoffed with a roll of his eyes. “Well, don’t get too comfortable. I’ve got a date tonight.”  
“Oh?” Trevelyan raised a brow at him, setting the bottle on the counter. “Who’s the lucky lady?” Bond just shook his head and walked away, heading back to the bedroom. “Is it someone I know?”  
“Yes.”  
“Moneypenny?”  
“No.”  
“R?”  
“No,” Bond replied as he entered his bedroom, 006 following close behind. He removed his suit jacket before going to the adjoining bathroom to splash some water on his face.  
“Come on, James. Who is it?.”  
“No,” he said again as he pat his face dry with a towel. He grunted as he was suddenly grabbed from behind, moving to counteract the attack.  
“Just tell me who it is,” Trevelyan said as he kept Bond in a choke hold.  
007 struggled to get out of his hold, twisting his body in an attempt to dislodge the other agent’s foothold. “Fine! Fine, it’s with Q. Just… Let me go!”  
Trevelyan released him from his grip, a grin on his face. “The Quartermaster? James, I didn’t know you were a fucking poof.”  
“You’re a prick.” Bond pushed his way past him to go back to the bedroom, scowling.   
“Oh, come on, James!” Trevelyan called back as he followed him again. “You know I mean it in the best way possible. But you’re right. I’m sorry. Just took me by surprise, is all.”  
Bond sighed as he stood in front of his closet, staring at the clothes that hung there. He slowly began to search through the shirts for something to wear. His brows furrowed. Nothing was quite right.  
“So, where will you be taking our young Quartermaster this evening?” Trevelyan asked, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.  
“A restaurant,” Bond replied, his fingers moving to unbutton his shirt.  
“Ah, how vague of you. I know when I’m not invited, James.”  
“That’s never seemed to stop you in the past.” He removed his shirt, tossing it onto the bed before pulling a different one off its hanger. “I’m not going to let you ruin this for me, Alec.”  
Trevelyan furrowed his brows at the other agent. “Wow… You really like him.”  
Bond sighed softly as he pulled the new shirt on, buttoning it. “I trust him.” He licked his lips before going back to the bathroom to comb his hair  
“I won’t get in the way,” Trevelyan called back to him. “If anyone deserves this, it’s you.”  
Bond couldn’t help the hint of a smile that graced his lips. He looked himself over in the mirror before giving himself a nod of approval. He went back through to the bedroom and grabbed his jacket, pulling it on. “Don’t know when I’ll be back. Try not to be here when I am.”  
Trevelyan chuckled softly. “Go get ‘im, James.” Bond gave him a casual salute before heading out of the flat and making his way back to Q Branch.


	2. Chapter 2

Q was still staring at the little yellow duck on his desk when Bond stepped into his office and cleared his throat, trying to get the younger man’s attention. “Hey, did you lose track of time?” He asked with a smile.  
Q Looked up at the agent, smiling back at him a bit sheepishly. “Yeah, sorry.” He stood and turned his back to him in an attempt to hide his blush. He grabbed his bag off the floor and began to pack up his things before slinging it over his shoulder.   
When he was ready, Bond led him out of Q Branch. “The restaurant is actually quite close to here, if you wanted to walk?”  
Q looked up at him with a small smile and nodded his head. “A-Alright… Walking’s fine with me. Especially after sitting at my desk all day.”  
Bond gave him the side-eye. “It’s also quite close to my flat… If you wanted a walk afterwards as well.”  
Q looked down at his feet as they walked, biting his lip softly. “I don’t go home with people on the first date, 007.”  
Bond smiled softly and nodded his head. “Okay, then… Can I still walk you back to your car at the end of the night?”  
“I didn’t drive, but I might let you walk me home?” *He looked up at him with a raised brow, smiling softly.  
“It would be my pleasure,” the agent replied as they arrived at the restaurant. He reached for the door and held it open for Q, who smiled and nodded his head in thanks as he walked through. Bond followed closely, raising a hand to the host as he led Q back to an empty table and pulled a chair out for him, smirking a bit at the blush that formed on his cheeks. “I must admit, I’m a bit of a regular here.” Bond sat down across from him, studying his face and seeing how nervous the younger man was. He tried to find a comfortable subject to help him relax. “You mentioned that you had cats, right? What’re their names?”  
Q bit back a smile as he shook his head at him, managing to relax a bit. “You’ll laugh.”  
“Please tell me anyways?” Bond asked, leaning in a bit closer with a smile.  
The Quartermaster sighed softly, glancing down before meeting the agent’s eyes again. “Archimedes and Shadowfax.”  
“Ah, well, all we have to decide is what to do with the time given to us. Isn’t that right?” He replied with a grin.  
Q looked at him incredulously, a brow raised. “You? You’re a Tolkien fan?”  
Bond glanced down at his hands, almost blushing. “I may have read some of his books while travelling. You mentioned him before and I was curious.”  
“You…” He smiled at him a bit. “You remembered that?”  
“Of course I did.” The agent replied with a shrug of his shoulders, looking back up at him with a smile. “You were quite passionate about it.”  
Q smiled softly as he reached over and took his hand. However, he pulled it back quickly, awkwardly, once he had realized what he had done. Bond kept steady eye contact with him as he reached his hand across the table and took Q’s once again, tugging gently to bring it to his lips. He smirked a bit as he watched the Quartermaster’s face turn a lovely shade of pink.  
Bond saw the waiter coming towards them out of his peripherals and lowered their hands back to the table. He doesn’t take his eyes off Q’s as he orders their drinks. “Your best red wine, if you would.”  
“No.” Q shook his head, his gaze unwavering. “He’ll have a vodka martini. Shaken, not stirred. And I’ll have a glass of brandy.”  
The agent’s mouth fell open, his pupils dilating at the shift in control. He swallowed thickly and nodded the waiter away as he watched a small smirk form on Q’s face. “I seem to have mistaken your drink of choice,” Bond said, his voice a bit strained. “But you seem to paying attention to mine.”  
“Well, I am in your ear constantly,” the Quartermaster replied with a shrug before looking him over. “You alright, there, 007?”  
Bond tugged at his collar, then undid the first button of his shirt, drawing Q’s eyes to it. “Fine… Just a bit warm.”  
Q bit his lip softly as the waiter returned with their drinks, setting them down on the table. “Sirs, are you ready to place your orders?”  
Bond broke their gaze to look up at the waiter, slightly irritated. “I’ll have the chicken masala, hot,” he said as their eyes connected again.  
“I’ll have the shrimp curry,” Q said next, never taking his eyes off the agent. The waiter disappears quickly as Bond raises his glass to his lips, tilting his head back a bit as he swallowed. Q lifted his own glass as well, taking a small sip before setting it back down. “You really should cut back, you know.”  
Bond frowned slightly. “This? This is nothing. I won’t get drunk from this.”  
“Can you even get drunk anymore?” Q asked him with a raised brow.  
The agent leaned back in his seat, looking away from him. “That’s a ridiculous question.”  
Q watched him with furrowed brows. “Bond?” He frowned as the agent continued to look away from him. Q gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Did I say something wrong?”  
Bond exhaled slowly as he stared down at his drink. “It’s not… It’s just...You’re always watching me on missions. I thought you would have noticed.”  
“Noticed what?” He asked softly. “I… I listen to you, mostly. I can’t always find cameras.”  
“That makes sense,” Bond nodded slowly. “I never drink anymore. I still get the drinks so people are comfortable approaching me, but… I’ve recently stopped. The only time I drink now is at home, which may even be more pathetic than my old habits… I thought you had noticed.”  
Q shook his head with a bit of a frown. “I… I’m sorry, Bond. I should have known.”  
“It’s alright. It’s not like I made it obvious. Otherwise, it would be known by the ones I’m trying to get information from,” Bond smiled a bit and sat up, turning fully toward him. “I wouldn’t be a very effective agent, would I?”  
Q smiled softly as their food was set down in front of them. He thanked the waiter and reluctantly let go of Bond’s hand. They both started on their food, Bond enjoying the heat and feeling a flush work up from his neck, slowly taking over his cheeks as he glanced at Q, who licked his lips. Bond waved the waiter over once again. “A water for me. Anything for you?”  
Q shook his head. “No, thank you. I’m fine.” He smiled a bit as the waiter went to fetch some water.  
Bond leaned in slowly, catching Q’s eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want anything to cool down a bit?” He sat back with a grin as the waiter set the glass in front of him. Bond raised the glass to his lips and slowly sipped the cool liquid, licking his lips salaciously. “Enjoying your food?”  
Q watched the agent, inhaling sharply as he glanced at his lips before clearing his throat. “Hm, yes. Quite.”  
Bond grinned and pushed his food around a bit more before sitting back. “Do you want dessert or are you ready to leave when you’re done?”  
“I’m quite full, actually.” Q smiled a bit sheepishly as he glanced down at his half-eaten plate of food.  
“Maybe you’d have more of an appetite if you ate on a regular basis, hmm?” Bond grinned teasingly at him as he waved down the waiter. “Check, please.”  
Q shrugged a bit self-consciously. “I’d hoped you hadn’t noticed that…”  
“Of course I noticed. You think I bring everyone cups of tea and Chinese food when I come to visit? Sometimes I don’t think you know you’re not eating, you’re so absorbed in your work.” Q blushed a bit as the waiter returned with the check, placing it on the table. Bond slipped a few bills inside before handing it back to him and grinning across the table at Q. “Are you ready?”   
Q nodded and stood up clumsily, bumping the table. Bond stepped forward into his space to steady him. “Are you okay?” He asked as he slid his hand down Q’s arm to entwine their fingers together.  
He nodded his head, his eyes lingering over Bond’s body before meeting his eyes. “Y-Yeah… I’m fine.”  
Bond stayed close a moment longer before taking a step back, tugging Q’s hand gently. “Let’s go. Don’t want to keep you out too late, genius.” He walked with him outside, letting him lead the way to his home. “Did you enjoy dinner? I… I did. A lot. It was nice talking.”  
“I did.” Q nodded with a smile, looking up at him as they walked. “I really did. Thank you.”  
“I… was wondering…” Bond looked straight ahead before speaking all in a rush. “Would you like to do it again sometime?”  
Q grinned at that. “Yeah. I would. I’d love to.”  
The agent turned his head away as he tried to control his grin. “We could go for dinner again? Or… I could cook for you?”  
“You cook?” Q raised a brow at him. “It’s hard to think of you doing something so… domestic.”  
“I have to do something when I’m off a job. And cooking is… calming. Very regimented. Something easy to follow if one’s mind is… unsteady. I was taught by someone I could call a friend when I was much younger.”  
Q nodded, a small smile forming on his lips. “I would love for you to cook for me… Do something normal for once.”  
Bond bumped his hip into Q’s. “What? You don’t think our lives are normal?” He smiled up at the night sky. “We’re perfectly normal.”  
Q let out a quiet sigh and followed Bond’s gaze. “Honestly, I’d consider this to be strange for us.”  
“We could make it normal.” He squeezed his hand and looked at him, watching the way his skin seemed to glow in the faint light.  
Q looked down at the sidewalk with a small smile and nodded. “Yeah… Maybe we could.”  
Grinning, Bond shifted closer to him as they walked. “Would you like to meet me after work tomorrow? I can go to the shops before then.”  
“As long as you’re not sent away,” Q nodded. “M has been watching Russia lately.”  
“He told me while I was in today that I should still have the next two days off to heal from-” He cut off suddenly. “Anyways, you know that can change in an instant.”  
Q stopped abruptly, pulling the agent back towards him. He looked up at him with furrowed brows. “Heal from what? How bad is it?”  
Bond ran his fingers through his hair with a shrug. “It’s nothing. Just a mishap in the field. You know how it is.” He grinned.  
“James…” Q watched him worriedly. “That’s what you always say.”  
The agent shifted his gaze away for a second, his breath catching at the sound of his name. “That’s because it’s never anything bad. Barely enough for them to keep me down, I think.”  
“Fine,” Q said. “If you won’t tell me, you’ll just have to show me when we get to my flat.”  
Bond grinned over at him. “Oh, so I have to have an injury to get into your flat, then? Maybe I’m feeling a bit lightheaded, too.”  
“Oh, shut up,” Q replied with a roll of his eyes. “I just want to make sure you’re alright.”  
He let his grin soften. “I’ll show you if it makes you feel better, but you have to promise not to take advantage of me in my weakened state.” He smirked.  
“Believe me, it won’t be an issue.” He smirked back before continuing to lead him down the street.  
Bond looked at the passing scenery, mumbling something. “So, how do you get to work, then, if you live so far away?”  
“The tube, usually,” Q answered with a shrug. “Sometimes a cab. Otherwise, Eve picks me up.”  
The agent looked down at him. “Moneypenny? I didn’t know you two were close. Do you live near each other?”  
“Yeah,” Q nodded with a small smile. “She’s two blocks away from me.”  
“Really? That’s… Nice. Convenient.” Bond nodded with a smile.  
“It is.” Q nods and stops, pointing up at the door before fumbling with his keys. “This is me.”  
Bond slowly turned to face him. “Did you still want to get a look at my battle scars, or…?” He stepped back a bit, uncertain.  
Q let out a quiet sigh as he finally found the right key and unlocked the door. “You swear you’re alright?”  
Bond inhaled sharply. “There’s, ah, actually one thing you could check for me, actually. It’s just, I bit my lip and wanted to make sure I didn’t reopen anything.”  
Q looked away with a shake of his head, smiling to himself. “Bond, if you wanted me to kiss you, you could have just asked.”  
The agent looked at him earnestly. “Then, may I have a kiss?”  
Q grinned and leaned forward to gently press his lips to Bond’s. Bond turned his head a bit, leaning into the kiss more and then drawing back, giving him the opportunity to stop it if he wanted. The Quartermaster pecked his lips once more before pulling back, clearing his throat. “Right, well, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”  
Bond opened his eyes with a lazy smile. “Tomorrow,” he said, his voice deeper and a bit husky.  
Q smiled back softly and opened the door, stepping inside a bit. “Goodnight, Bond.”  
“Goodnight, Q.” He watched as the door closed, then turned and began walking back to his flat, smiling. Q leaned back against the door for a moment, smiling before going up to his flat.

Bond returned to his flat, flicking the lights on as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He went back to the bedroom and removed his jacket, tossing it aside before collapsing on the bed. He looked at his clock on the bedside table and furrowed his brows when he saw a blue box next to it. He took the note that was on top of it, reading it. “Hope your date with our lovely Quartermaster went well. Be safe. -006”   
He rolled his eyes and reached out to the box, turning it to read the label. “Condoms. Of course… Prick.” He sighed softly and rolled onto his side before letting himself drift off.


	3. Chapter 3

Bond stood in an aisle of the Tesco near his flat, staring at the soup packets in front of him. “You should really just go for a lighter option, like salad or an alfredo pasta,” prattled the shop girl, who somehow managed to learn that he was preparing for a date and made it her business to educate him. He sighed and began to unload the ingredients he had picked up for an admittedly heavy meal.  
He finally made it back to his flat with supplies enough for a meal “sure to guarantee anyone’s heart”.Glancing around his flat, he decided that maybe a bit of cleaning wouldn’t hurt before the evening came around. He put all of the groceries away before beginning to do just that.  
After he had finished cleaning up, Bond began preparing the meal. He put the salad and dressing he had made into the refrigerator before checking that the hot plate was turned off. He’d only be away for twenty minutes or so; it would keep just fine. He glanced down at his clothes, making sure that he didn’t have any food splatter on him, and then left.

Meanwhile, Q sat at his desk, typing away rapidly, not taking his eyes off the screen. He knew that if he kept himself busy, he wouldn’t be checking the time constantly. He was excited about his second date with the agent. Q only looked up from his screen when M entered his office. They spoke for a while, discussing Bond’s latest mission and Q’s many other projects. Q glanced at the clock as M continued to go on and on. He was really hoping that he wouldn’t still be there when Bond came to pick him up.  
Bond stopped outside of Q Branch, seeing a flurry of motion inside. It looked like Q’s minions were all out of sorts about something and, a second later, a bemused-looking M was pushed out along with a group of them, all chattering about something. He stepped in cautiously, finding Q standing in the doorway of his office.”What was that all about?”  
Q Shrugged his shoulders and scratched the back of his head. “No idea. Maybe they saw you coming and ran?”  
Bond rolled his shoulders in a shrug. “Well, are you ready to go, then?” He asked. “I’m glad nothing came up. I have dinner all ready.”  
He smiled a bit and nodded. “Yeah. Just let me grab my things.” He went back into his office to pack up his bag before slinging it over his shoulder.  
Bond stood patiently in the doorway as he waited for him before leading him out of Q Branch. “I hope you like alfredo. I also made salad.”  
“Sounds great,” Q smiled at him as he followed him out, not surprised to find some of his minions hiding outside the door.   
Bond smirked as they slipped around them, but said nothing. He turned right as they exited the building, leading Q a few blocks away before stopping in front of a brownstone building. “Well, this is the place I rent,” he said with a shrug as he opened the door and led him upstairs.  
Q followed him up the stairs and to the flat, looking around after Bond let him inside. The agent noticed his glances and turned away, starting to bring the food out and placing the pasta back on low heat. “I tried to clean a bit before you got here,” he said as he pulled a chair out for him, offering him something to drink.  
The Quartermaster thanked him as he took a seat. “No, it looks fine,” he said, looking up at him with a soft smile. “Could I just have a glass of water?”  
“As you wish,” Bond replied as he set out the salad and dressing he had made before taking a glass from the cupboard and filled it. “How was work today?”  
“Productive,” Q nodded. “I spoke to M earlier. I’m guessing you’ll be sent out tomorrow.”  
Bond attempted to stop his hand from flinching to his side and managed to control it enough to make it look like he was grabbing the table as he sat. “Ah, good. I was getting cooped up here after so long.”  
Q narrowed his eyes at him a bit, but didn’t say anything about the injury. “You feel cooped up after two days at home?”  
Bond smirked as he fixed his salad. “‘Normal life’ never suited me. I’ve always craved a bit more than that.” He glanced at him, grinning as Q nodded and got his own salad as well. “So, last night we got distracted a bit. Could you tell me more about your cats? Did you have animals when you were young or were the cats an act of rebellion when you left home?”  
“Actually, I’ve had Shadowfax since I was fifteen,” Q replied with a shrug of his shoulders as he began to eat.  
Bond tried to find a good way to phrase his next question, but just shrugged as he brought the pasta back to the table. “And you had family still, at that point?”  
He nodded. “Still do… My parents are in Perth. My sister moved to Dublin with her boyfriend.” Q shrugged a bit. “Haven’t seen them since I started with MI6…”  
“How old were you when you started there, anyways? You look only about sixteen and a bit public school. It can’t have been long ago.”  
Q shrugged his shoulders and took another bite. “I was twenty-one.”  
Bond stared hard at him for a moment. “Your parents must be so proud,” he said monotonously. “Wait, how old are you now, then?!”  
Q furrowed his brows at the slightly bitter tone, but chose to ignore it, clearing his throat, “I’m twenty-seven.”  
The agent’s eyes widened. “I guess i’ve been at odds with myself on that. You’re so young, but you’re so good at what you do. I guess I just thought you were still very young, but started early, or something along those lines. You’re nearly half my age…”  
“I know,” Q nodded, smiling a bit with a shrug of his shoulders. “I read your file.”  
Bond rolled his eyes. “Figures… Are you done with the salad?” He tooked their plates to the sink and returned with bigger dinner plates. “What was it like, what /is/ it like, having a family you’re still close to? Do they know what you do? Are you worried about them?”  
Q sighed softly, staring down at his plate for a moment. “I miss them…” He said quietly, running his fingers through his dark mess of curls. “I had to cut off all contact from them. I couldn’t put them at risk.”  
Bond felt terrible for bringing up the bad memories. “Well, at least you know they’re safe.” He reached over and pat his hand awkwardly.  
Q shrugged his shoulders a bit and nodded. “Yeah…”  
“Well, what do you think of the food?” Bond asked, changing the subject with a soft chuckle. “I was actually told off by the shop girl for the meal I was going to make. She said it was too heavy and that light pasta was the way to go.”  
Q chuckled in response to that, thankful for the change in subject. “Well, I suppose it;s a good thing you listened to her.”  
“I’m quite glad I did. I admit, I was getting carried away. She and I actually have quite a report. I don't know how we began talking, but she has become sort of a sounding board for my cooking decisions.” He chuckled. “I don't know how to discourage her.”  
“Well, I, for one, am glad that you’ve found a sense of normalcy,” Q smiled. “Even if it is just in going to the grocery store.”  
“I don’t know if I’d call it normalcy, but I admit, it’s nice. Sometimes. Having someone to talk to that isn;t a part of this, who doesn’t know anything about me or what I’ve done.”  
Q pushed his plate away, nodding with a smile. “Yeah, I bet. Sometimes it’s just nice having someone to talk to in general.”  
Bond gathered the plates and dishes, bringing them all over to the counter by the sink. He quickly put away the leftovers and got ready to wash. Q got up and went over to him. “Want some help?” “He asked, standing close enough to him that they were barely touching.  
The agent paused before he spoke, looking him up and down, letting his gaze drag over Q’s neck. He watched his pulse point flutter before meeting his gaze once again. “You don’t mind rinsing, do you?”  
Q bit his lip softly as he watched Bond look him over. “I, um… I don’t mind.”  
They both rolled up their sleeves, Bond washing a dish before handing it over to Q to be dried. They finished the dishes quickly this way and Bond went to get them each a drink after they had finished, leading Q over to the couch. “We can watch a film if you want? Or just talk, or… Whatever you want.”  
Q followed him closely, raising his arms up above his head as he stretched, the hem of his shirt raising just enough to reveal the dark contrast of tattoos on the pale skin of his back. “I don’t mind. Whatever you feel like.”  
Bond’s mouth dropped open, his pupils dilating as he traced the intricate circuitry as far up as Q’s shirt. “Q…” He said, his voice low, and stepped closer to him, settling his hands on the younger man’s hips. The agent slowly rubbed circles into his skin as he trailed his hands up, lifting Q’s shirt to reveal more of the tattoo.  
“Hm?” Q looked back at him over his shoulder. “What… What are you doing?” He asked with a slight smile as the agent lifted his shirt.  
“You said whatever I feel like? What if I feel like kissing every inch of you while you tell me all about this tattoo?”  
“O-Oh…” He let out a shaky breath. “I… I… O-Okay.”  
Bond pushed him forward until he was kneeling on the couch, sliding in behind him. He brought his face close to Q’s back as he moved down, softly exhaling and sending shivers up and down Q’s spine. Bond spread his fingers around Q’s waist and started unbuttoning his cardigan. “Oh, Q…” He growled as he finally brought his lips to Q’s skin, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his shoulder. “Why so many layers?”  
Q continued to shiver at his touch as he helped him unbutton his shirt, shrugging it off along his with cardigan. “This is what I always wear.”  
Bond watched in appreciation as more of Q’s skin, and the tattoo that he could now see covered his entire back, was revealed. “How old were you when you got this done?”  
“I started it when I was eighteen. I add onto it a bit every year.” He replied with a shrug as he laid down on his stomach.  
Bond carefully straddled the back of Q’s thighs, looking over the beauty of the whole thing. He, then, started trailing his fingers along Q’s sides, tracing the pattern of the circuitry.   
Q bit his lip at the feeling of Bond’s hands on him. “You know… I think you’re the first person to really see them.”  
Bond slipped his hands under Q’s shoulders, carefully lowering himself down to rest his forearms on the couch as he kissed around Q’s scapula and up to his neck. “A true shame. Why do you hide them?” He closed his eyes, thinking of how Q would keep his shirt on during their previous adrenaline-fueled encounters.  
“I…” Q let out a soft sigh at the feeling of Bond’s lips on his skin. “I, um… I don’t really like people seeing my body.”  
Bond slowed his kisses, pressing his forehead to Q’s spine. “Q…” He breathed out. “Have I… I’m not pushing you into anything you don’t want, am I?”  
Q bit his lip and shook his head. “No. I… I feel… Comfortable… With you.”  
Bond inhaled deeply, relief coursing through him. “Come here, please. I want to see your face.” He helped the Quartermaster turn over before leaning in to kiss him, sliding one hand into his curls as the other traced his jaw and down his neck. Q leaned into the kiss, moving his hand to rest at the base of the agent’s neck. Bond mouthed along Q’s jaw, nibbling softly as he got to the spot below his ear, not quite hard enough to leave a mark. “You’re gorgeous, Q. Incredible.”  
Q bit his lip as a blush creeped up his face. He wrapped his arms around Bond tightly and buried his face in his neck. They let their bodies relax as Bond pulled him closer. Q sat up to curl against him more, occasionally pressing light kisses to Bond’s neck. Bond, in turn, kissed up Q’s jaw to peck his lips lightly before pulling back. “Okay?”  
Q nodded his head with a small smile. “Yeah… Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just...This is all really new for me. Dating…”  
Bond smiled, bringing their foreheads together. “It may surprise you, but all I know of relationships is theory. I’ve never actually been in many relationships either. I’ve been taught and continuously learn more about human relationships because of work. But to actually feel, to allow myself to be with another, this is new.”   
Q gently ran his fingers through Bond’s hair, a small smile forming on his lips. “I, um… I haven’t dated anyone since before uni,” he replied with a shrug.  
Bond relaxed into a smile. “Well, you haven’t exactly had time to meet someone new, have you?” He pulled back to look into the Quartermaster’s eyes.  
Q shrugged again, biting his lip softly. “I met you, didn’t I?”  
The agent leaned in to slowly kiss him, sucking on his bottom lip and nipping at it gently before releasing it with a grin. “You did meet me. But maybe I’m more trouble than I’m worth?”  
“I think I’ll be the judge of that,” Q smirked as his phone began to ring. He sighed and pulled away to answer it. “Q… Yeah... Yes, sir. I’ll get right on it. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” He hung up the phone and sighed softly, looking up at Bond. “Looks like you’ll be going to Belize tomorrow.”  
The agent’s face straightens as he pulls away a bit, sitting back on the couch. “Time to go, then? You’re lucky you’re so nearby.”  
Q nodded and reached for his shirt, pulling it on and beginning to button it up. “And you are going to stay here and get some sleep. God knows you won’t get any while you’re working.”  
Bond sighed and reached down for Q’s cardigan, helping him slip it on over his shirt. “I’ll try and hurry back, then, dear,” he smirked.  
Q rolled his eyes and leaned forward to kiss him gently. “And don’t forget to come see me before you leave.”  
Bond leaned into the kiss, smiling as they parted. “Of course.”  
He pecked his lips once more before standing, grabbing his bag. “I’ll see you in the morning.”  
Bond opened the door for him, leading him down to the main door. “You’ll be there all night, then?”  
“Yeah, I’ve got to get everything ready for you. I’ll try to get in a couple hours of sleep, though.”  
“Okay, then. I’ll see you in the morning.” Bond smiled softly and leaned in to peck him on the cheek. He watched him leave before going back up to his flat, humming softly to himself. He locked everything up and stripped down to his boxers before slipping under the covers, automatically grasping the gun underneath his pillow. He shut his eyes and drifted into a light sleep, still ready to be awake in a second.


	4. Chapter 4

After a quick shower and a brisk walk, Bond arrived at MI6, showing briefly in M’s office to gather his files. He headed down to Q Branch to get his equipment. He made his way to Q’s office and leaned against the doorframe with a small smile, watching as Q stared blankly at a pen on his desk. “Did I finally get that exploding pen I’ve been asking for?”  
Q blinked tiredly and looked up at him. It was obvious that he hadn’t gotten any sleep that night. “Hm? Oh. No.” He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes before replacing them on his face, standing and leading Bond over to the equipment. They stood next to each other, backs to the minions as Q handed him his gun and earpiece, his fingers lightly brushing against Bond’s.   
Bond took the items with a smirk. “Anything fun for me to play with?”  
Q handed him an analog watch. “Pull out the pin, turn it to one o’clock, push the pin back in. Don’t get caught in the blast.”  
“Ah, this does sound like a lot of fun,” he grinned. “You spoil me. How am I getting there?”  
“Flight leaves in an hour. First class.” He yawned and rubbed his eyes tiredly.  
“That sounds lovely. And it also sounds like it’s time for you to get some sleep. I take it you didn’t get any last night?”   
“Or the night before,” Q sighed softly. “I’ll sleep while you’re on the plane so I won’t miss anything.”  
Bond glanced around, making sure that no one important was around, and then tugged Q into a hug. “Go on. Get some sleep. The minions will wake you when you’re needed.” He kissed the top of his head and pulled back.  
Q’s face was bright red as he nodded. “Yeah, just… Be careful, James.” He bit his lip before whispering. “Come back to me.”  
“I’ll be as careful as I can.” He smiled softly, stepping in to gently stroke Q’s curls. He didn’t respond to the second thing he had said. Q bit his lip softly as he glanced over at the minions, making sure they were all busying themselves, before leaning up to press his lips to Bond’s. The agent deepened the kiss, twisting his fingers into the curls at the back of Q’s neck before breaking away, panting softly. “I have to go… Go get some sleep.”  
Q nodded, not meeting his eyes. “Go. Before M finds out you’re still here.”  
Bond stole one more kiss. “Sleep.” He grabbed his files and walked away, stopping in the doorway to glance back at him. “See you later.”  
Q rubbed his eyes with a quiet sigh, turning around to find the minions all staring at him. “Get back to work,” he told them as he went back to his office. He closed the door behind him and sat down on the couch, pulling out his phone to set the alarm for when Bond’s plane would arrive. He laid down, pulling his cardigan around himself before quickly drifting off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Q awoke with his alarm and groaned softly as he sat up, adjusting his glasses on his face. He stood with a yawn and went to sit at his desk, putting on his headset. “Bond?”  
The agent had just arrived the airport, tucking his book, a Tolkien novel, into his carry on bag before exiting the plane. He cleared his throat to let Q know that he had heard him and made his way through customs before getting a taxi to take him to his hotel. He smiled at the hotel receptionist as he entered the lobby, finally pressing on his head of the line as he made his way into the elevator. “Just checked in. I have a few hours to get ready before the event.”  
“How was the flight?” Q asked with a small smile as he brought up the feed from the hotel’s security cameras. “There you are.”  
Bond glanced up at the camera with a grin before stepping out of the elevator. “It was enlightening. I quite enjoyed The Hobbit.”  
Q smiled at that. “Yeah? I hated the ending. It was absolutely terrible.”  
Bond winced. “Ah, yes. Well, death is a part of life and all.”  
“Just don’t make it a part of yours,” Q whispered to himself before raising his voice again. “So, have you found yourself a date, yet?”  
“I’ll be making contact with someone at the event. Otherwise, I’ll be going stag tonight.” He unlocked the door of his room and walked in, systematically checking the room for bugs. “I just hope no one sneaks in again. It’s always so annoying.”  
Q chuckled softly at him. “Oh, I’m sure.” He looked up with a small smile as M entered his office, speaking to him about some gadget malfunctions.  
“Are you two having fun without me?” Bond asked as he got himself ready for the evening and headed back downstairs for the event. He paid silent attention to the conversation going on so far away from him, listening with more interest to that than the inane chatter in the crowds around him. A few in the crowds caught his eye, bodyguards and the people close to his target, but nothing interesting happened. He took a seat at the bar, asking the bartender to give him water instead of liquor in his martini glass.  
Q smiled softly to himself when he heard Bond’s drink order, watching M as he left his office. “I’m proud of you, you know? With the whole not drinking thing.”  
Bond smiled, looking down at his fake vodka martini, and was about to respond when a voice cut through his thoughts. “You’re a million miles away, bright eyes. Who are you thinking of tonight?” He turned to the side sharply to see his target, a beautiful red-haired woman in a glittering silver dress.   
The agent let his body melt into a look of ease and relaxation as he smirked. “How could I have thoughts of anyone else when someone so beautiful is standing right in front of me?” He hid his irritation. He should have been paying more attention.  
Q rolled his eyes at the line and muttered, “Flatterer.” He focused the camera on the bar, looking out for any threats.  
Bond continued to chat up his target, smiling and at ease, all up until she begged for another drink and he ordered another round. He nearly choked on his first sip. It was real alcohol and a shock to his palate, having not expected it. He accidentally took a huge gulp and then, suddenly, his glass was seemingly always full. He was too busy trying to stay calm that he easily slipped back into his old habits, despite the fact that he knew his body can’t handle that anymore. He excuses himself to the bathroom, hissing to Q as soon as he’s out of hearing. “Q, something’s wrong. The bartender was giving me alcohol and I drank too much. I don’t know what’s going wrong, but I’m getting out of here.” He stepped into the bathroom, looking for a way out, but, instead, he grows dizzy and tired. He stumbled into a wall and slid down to the floor, exhaustion creeping over him in heavy waves. “Q, I think they’ve drugged me… I’m so tired…”  
Q tried not to panic, his fingers freezing over his keyboard. This was definitely not something they had planned for. “Okay. Okay… Just stay calm. Can you… Can you try to vomit it up or something? Oh, god…” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Okay. Stay calm. Just… Just hang in there, James. You’re going to be okay.” The Quartermaster didn’t know what to do. There was nothing he could really do from so far away. “Just stay with me.”  
Bond kept his eyes open, but didn’t speak back as he saw forms approaching him. “Oh, look at you keeping those bright eyes open so well for me. Even after all those pretty drinks I gave you? I can’t believe your agency thought I would have forgotten or, god forbid, forgiven them for what they did to me. Well, I’ve got you now. That’s all that matters.”  
Q furrowed his brows as he listened to her words and began to do some more research on her. “Okay, James. I need you to keep her talking for me. I need more information. We could send someone in to get you out of there.”  
Bond forced himself to be more alert. “Why do you need me? Where are you taking me?”  
He must have at least been partially understood because the woman laughed. “You don’t need to know any of that. Another thing you won’t need is that pesky tracker!” Bond was suddenly pinned by many hands as pain lanced through him. He grit his teeth, grunting as his tracker was dug out of his thigh.  
“Fucking hell…” Q muttered as the tracker went out. He paged M as he continued to try to find any connections between the woman and MI6. “Come on, James. I need you to keep her talking so we can get you home safe.”  
Bond gasped in breaths for a few seconds more. “Why… Why are you doing this?” He groaned deeply as pressure was put on his wound. “Why do- Ah!” He was pulled up to stand between two men. He barely kept his eyes open, but could blearily see his target. “Why me?”  
She stared at him flatly. “I think you talk too much.” Bond’s head jerked to the side as she slapped him. “Oh? What’s this?” She pulled out his earbud.  
“No!” Bond gasped in horror.  
“Oh, dear,” she tutted. “You are in trouble…”  
“No,” Q shook his head as M entered his office. “No no no no no. Bond… James, answer me. James! Oh god. This can’t be happening.” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration, making eye contact with M. “I-I’ve lost him. He… He’s gone. I… Oh, god. I think I’m going to be sick.” He bent over the bin and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep himself from hyperventilating.


	6. Chapter 6

Q was a mess. He had never lost an agent before and, of course, it had to be Bond. The first day that the agent was missing, Q was just trying not to vomit everywhere. The second, he was completely silent, in shock. After that, he got back to work, sitting at his computer, day and night, searching everywhere for any sign that Bond was alive.  
Despite the fact that Trevelyan had been sent out after him, Q never left his desk. M and Moneypenny had tried to get him to go home to get some rest, but he wouldn’t have any of it. He had to bring Bond home safely. Q spent hours searching every security camera in Belize, still not finding any sign of him. He let out a heavy sigh of exasperation and frustration, not sure what to do anymore.

Bond had awoken several times to find himself in the same room. They didn’t seem to be torturing him, just keeping him foggy and drugged. No one seemed to be around except for the ones who fed him. The fifth time he had woken, he had stopped eating and started shoving the food into a hole near his bed. By the eighth time he woke, things were clearer and he started to notice his surroundings.   
He was in a small room, a cell with one window. He didn’t know what was outside, but he could easily slip out. Hearing footsteps coming, he pretended to be in the same semi-awake stage he had been every other time they came to him. The agent compliantly took the food and set the tray nicely down on the bed. He went to the window, looking it over before pushing against it, finding it locked. He moved to the bed and grabbed the pillow, removing the pillowcase and wrapping it around his fist. Listening carefully for several seconds, he made sure no one was coming before smashing the window. Carefully pushing the glass out of the way so it wouldn’t fall into his cell and make unnecessary noise, Bond slipped out the window and ran, not chancing a glance back.  
He felt like it was too easy as he snuck off the grounds, but he didn’t stop, only breaking when he found a source of water. The agent continued forward, no idea where he was, until he felt like he couldn’t move any further. His muscles were cramping and the wound in his thigh burned. He had to find a place to rest. He felt like he was going to pass out, struggling to stay upright, but he stumbled on.   
When he came upon a building, Bond didn’t understand what he was seeing at first. He finally realized that he was standing at the edge of a small town and that it was the middle of the night, everyone asleep. He carefully made his way back into the forest. He would stay out of the town for the night, then find food and water in the morning.  
Bond awoke to the sound of Spanish voices nearby. He opened his eyes and closed them immediately, pain lancing through him before settling into a full body ache. He sat up, trying not to make any noise as he got his bearings. He could hear people not far away, but it sounded like children, so he ignored it, focusing on standing up. He heard a shout and turned to see a group of children staring at him. He knelt down onto one knee as they came a bit closer to him. “¿Dõnde estoy?”  
The kids grouped behind the oldest one, who called back, “Usted está en Guatemala!”  
Bond blinked in confusion. How the hell did he get there? “¿Me puedes ayudar? ¿Comida y agua?” The oldest turns to the rest, speaking so quickly that he couldn’t keep track of what he was saying, and a few kids ran off. “¿Dõnde?” He gestured to the ones who ran off.  
“Estamos ayudando,” they replied with a smile. Bond smiled back.

Three days later, Bond sat on a plane, resting his head back against the headrest as they were taxied into Heathrow Airport. He didn’t know if MI6 knew he was alive; he’d been gone for two weeks. He didn’t know how Q was doing.   
The agent sighed as he stood, moving with the flow of passengers. He made his way out of the airport and to the street, getting a taxi to take him back to his flat. He was at least going to shower and take care of the cut his thigh before reporting in.   
An hour later, he stood in front of Q Branch, the first place he’d been since he snuck back into Headquarters. But he didn’t know what to do now. He only had to take one more step through the doors and Q would see him. But… He had failed. He had ruined the mission, had his cover blown and been unable to handle the situation. Bond took a step back, but it drew the eyes of a minion, who saw him through the window and dropped what she was doing. He could see her mouth something and followed her gaze to Q, who looked up slowly, his eyes shifting to Bond’s. He watched as Q stood slowly before taking a deep breath as he stepped forward.

Q was living on coffee and biscuits at that point. He had barely slept in the two weeks that Bond had been missing and hadn’t left Q Branch in that time either. He looked like hell and felt even worse.  
Q stared at Bond now, letting out a shaky breath as his hands gripped his desk tightly in an attempt to steady himself. He was exhausted and it showed. He bit his lip harshly as he tried to hold back his emotions.  
Bond walked forward until he was standing right in front of him, forcing a small smile for him. “Q… I came back to you.”  
Q inhaled sharply and closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head. “Go… Go to medical,” He said, his voice cracking.  
“It’s been taken care of. I’m fine.” He took a step closer.  
“Just go to fucking medical!” Q shouted at him before letting out a heavy sigh, running his fingers through his hair as he fought back tears.  
Bond stepped back, frowning. “Q... I…” His expression flattened into a blank look and his eyes shifted slightly, looking into the distance behind Q. His voice was void of any intonation when he spoke next. “My apologies.” He turned away, walking out before turning the opposite direction of medical, intending to visit M in his office.  
“That’s not medical!” Q called out to him as he sat down in his chair, rubbing his forehead.  
The agent flinched and changed directions, sighing as his thigh twinged. He made his way to medical instead, pulling out the new phone he had picked up on the way in. He inputted M’s number and sent him a text: [Funny story. Not dead. Meet me in medical.]  
Q sat as his desk for a while longer, trying to compose himself. Taking a deep breath, he stood on shaky legs and made his way to medical, not surprised to find M there with Bond, who looked up at him as he entered. The agent didn’t stop in his report as he dropped his eyes back down to his bandaged leg. Q bit his lip gently as he looked Bond over, calculating the extent of his injuries as he listened to the end of his report.  
Bond finished his report, grabbing his trousers off the bedside table and standing to pull them on carefully as M excused himself from the room. Bond quickly grabbed his shirt and pulled it on, covering his scarred back from view and starting on the buttons.  
Q licked his lips as he took a step forward and reached a hand out to him, rubbing his arm gently. “A-Are you okay?”  
Bond froze at his touch, closing his eyes as he turned so Q’s hand slid off him. “I… I’m sorry. For ruining the mission.”  
Q frowned and shook his head. “No, you didn’t. None of us saw it coming. You were just doing your job.” He sighed softly. “You didn’t answer my question.”  
“I’m fine,” he said, looking down and away from him. “They’ll have to implant me with a new tracker, I guess.” Bond leaned forward, placing his hands on the bed and trying not to clench them into fists. “I… I should've handled the situation better, but I couldn’t. I was too caught up in the shock of drinking alcohol unexpectedly.”  
Q shook his head with furrowed brows, gently placing his hand on Bond’s shoulder. “No. Don’t say that. She got the best of all of us. You can’t blame yourself, James… All that matters is that you made it back here alive.”  
Bond looked into his eyes. “It’s not that. I lost control. If I hadn’t panicked at the taste of the alcohol, I wouldn’t have ingested that much of the drug. I wouldn’t have wound up passed out in a bathroom like it was my first time being slipped a date-rape drug.” He clenched his fist and pounded it once into the bed. “I was weak.”  
Q shook his head, carefully taking Bond’s face into his hands and gazing into his eyes intensely. “If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you’re not weak. They knew you were coming and we weren’t prepared for that. But it won’t happen again. I promise… I won’t let it.”  
Bond looked between Q’s eyes desperately, needing to believe it. “You can’t promise that. Just like I can’t promise I’ll always come back.”  
“Believe this.” Q leaned in and pressed his lips to Bond’s, kissing him gently.  
Bond pressed into the kiss immediately, sighing and parting Q’s lips with his own. “Q…” He murmured.  
Q pulled back and kissed the agent’s forehead softly. “Go home. I’ll be there as soon as I’m done here, okay?”  
Bond chuckled and rested his head on Q’s shoulder. “You need more sleep than I do at this point. I slept for nearly a week straight.”  
“And I will,” he nodded with a small smile. “I’ve just got to finish up some paperwork and I’ll be there.”   
Bond finished buttoning up his shirt, stepping close to Q, and slipped the IV out of his vein, putting pressure on the spot. “I’ll be back at my flat.” The Quartermaster nodded and gave his hand a light squeeze before going on his way.  
The agent made his way out of Headquarters, quickly heading back to his flat. When he had arrived, he stood in the doorway, taking in the emptiness of the place and fighting the urge to leave again. He hesitated, but then his thigh throbbed and he stepped inside, locking the door behind him. Stripping as he walked down the hall, Bond disregarded where his clothes fell and went straight to bed, collapsing on the mattress and grasping the gun under his pillow before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the translations are bad...


	7. Chapter 7

Q arrived at Bond’s flat after a few more hours, furrowing his brows as he reached the door and heard someone shouting. At first, he wasn’t sure that he was at the right door, but he checked his phone for the address again, confirming that it was Bond’s. He knocked on the door, biting his lip. When there was no answer, he tried the knob, relieved to find it unlocked. He opened the door slowly, his hand reaching into his bag to grab the small taser on his key fob as he stepped inside.  
“One text. One fucking text is all I would have needed. I was in Belize for two fucking weeks!” Trevelyan continued to shout at Bond as Q closed the door behind him, clearing his throat. Alec whirled around to face him. “Don’t even!” He shouted at the Quartermaster before turning back to Bond. “I will deal with you later,” he growled, pointing a finger at him.  
The two watched as Alec went over to the window and unlocked it before pushing up on it. The window didn’t budge. “It’s stuck,” Bond told him.   
”Shut up!” 006 glared back at him over his shoulder before going back to jiggling the window.  
“The door’s open,” Q suggested to him as he pointed back at the door over his shoulder.  
“Fuck you!” He continued to struggle with the window until it finally gave in and pushed up. Alec gave Bond one final glare before leaping out onto the fire escape and out of view.  
Bond blinked and stood up from his seat on the couch, rubbing a pot on his bare chest gently. “Tea?” He asked with a smile before walking past Q and into the kitchen, searching through the cupboards until he found a kettle.  
Q followed with a quiet sigh, rubbing his eyes. “Honestly, I feel like I’m going to pass out.”  
Bond paused in fixing the tea. “Bedroom’s down the hall.” He nodded in it’s direction, waiting patiently for the water to boil.  
The Quartermaster nodded and went back to the bedroom. He stripped down to his boxers and undershirt before setting his glasses on the nightstand and laying down. He had planned on waiting for Bond to come in, but he was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.  
Bond poured the hot water into his cup before walking back to his bedroom, standing in the door for a moment as he looked over Q’s sleeping form. With a small smile, he walked over and set his cup down next to Q’s glasses before sitting back against the headboard. Bond gently ran his fingers through the dark curls next to him before taking his cup again and drinking his tea. When finished, he settled under the covers and turned on his side to face Q. He blinked once and fell asleep the next second, gun forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, the reason they just kinda forget about Alec all the time is that he wasn't in the original RP.


	8. Chapter 8

Bond awoke early the next morning, lying on his back with Q curled up against his side. He smiled down at Q, bringing his hand up to link his fingers with Q’s that rested on his chest. He laid back and enjoyed the morning.  
Q groaned softly as he began to wake a short while later, burying his face in Bond’s neck. He let out a soft sigh and gently pressed his lips to the tanned skin. “What time is it?” He murmured.  
Bond glanced at the clock on the bedside table. “Almost seven. Did you sleep well?” He asked with a smile.  
“Yeah,” he nodded with a yawn and rubbed his eyes before reaching over Bond to grab his glasses. “I should get ready for work… Mind if I use your shower?”  
Bond nodded vaguely, watching as Q stood. The agent stood as well and grabbed his cup from the night before, taking it with him to the kitchen and setting it in the sink before starting a pot of coffee. He opened the fridge and looked at what he had, which could helpfully be described as overripe. He sighed and dragged the bin over, starting to empty what little food he had to begin with into it. After cleaning out the fridge, Bond went back to the bedroom, dressing quickly before going to leave, thinking only of the pastry shop a block away. Then, hand on the door, he doubled back and scrawled out a quick note for Q, leaving it on the coffee-maker.  
Meanwhile, Q went back to the bathroom and stripped completely before turning on the water and stepping under the hot stream. He let out a soft sigh as he let his muscles relax. He closed his eyes as he shampooed his hair and washed his body carefully. When he had finished up with his shower, Q dried himself off and went to dress in his clothes from the day before.   
He left the bedroom and went to the kitchen in search of Bond, surprised to find that he wasn’t there. He furrowed his brows before finding the note that the agent had left for him:   
Out for food, be back in a moment. -James. P.S. Help yourself to coffee.  
Q smiled softly before finding a pen and adding to the note:  
Off to work. I’ll call later. -Q  
With that, the Quartermaster slipped on his shoes and grabbed his bag off the floor before heading out to work.  
Bond returned to the flat, taking the stairs two at a time. “Q?” He called out as he stepped inside, not hearing a response. He glanced at the coffee-maker and sighed when he read Q’s addition to his note. He crumpled it up and tossed it into the bin, looking at the pastries sourly. He pushed the box to a corner of the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee, drinking it black. He walked through the flat, picking up his discarded clothes from the day before and tossing them into the hamper. He finished his coffee and stood completely still for a long moment. Then, grabbing his phone and slipping it into his pocket, Bond grabbed his gun, checking that the chamber is empty before sticking it down the back of his jeans. He pulled on his jacket and left the flat, slamming the door behind him and locking it before disappearing into the streets of London.

When Q arrived at Headquarters, he was surprised to find M already waiting for him in his office. He smiled at him politely before taking a seat at his desk and booting up his computer. “How can I help you, sir?” He asked his superior.  
“I was just wondering how the smart blood is coming along, if it’s ready for implementation,” M replied.  
The Quartermaster raised a brow at him, nodding his head slowly. “We haven’t exactly finished testing it yet. I sent an email a few weeks ago about choosing a double-oh to test it on, but I never heard back from you.”  
“Oh?” He raised a brow at him in return. “My apologies, Q. Give it to 006.”  
“006, sir?”  
“Yes. In normal circumstances, I would tell you to give it to Bond, but he won’t be going out in the field for a while yet. He deserves a break, don’t you think?”  
“Yes, sir,” Q nodded. “He does… I’ll have 006 come in this afternoon.”  
“Excellent.” M stood and opened his mouth the say something, but turned to leave instead, swiftly exiting Q Branch.  
Q let out a quiet sigh and put on his headset before beginning to dial Trevelyan’s number. He paused halfway through, biting his lip softly before deleting it and entering Bond’s instead. He didn’t want to lose him like that again.  
Bond looked up suddenly from where he was, sitting on top of a roof somewhere in London, dangling his legs over the side as his phone vibrated in his pocket. He grabbed it and tapped the screen. “Bond,” he said, his eyes roving over the smoggy horizon.  
“007,” Q said with a grin as he typed away at his computer, “I need you to come into Q Branch for a bit.”  
The agent nodded to himself and looked around, trying to get his bearings. “On my way. Though, it may take me a while.”  
Q stopped typing for a moment and furrowed his brows. “Why? Where are you? I thought you’d be at your flat.”   
“I went for a walk. I think I’m somewhere near Bromley, about half an hour if I can find a cab. How long have you been at work?”  
“Left as soon as I was dressed,” Q replied softly, glancing around to make sure that no one was listening to him. “I would have stayed, but I had a meeting with M.”  
Bond shook his head, but said nothing, finishing his descent from the building with a grunt. He checked the time. It had only been an hour and a half since he had left his flat. “Christ, how the hell did I get here?” He muttered. “I’m grabbing a cab now.”  
Q nodded with a small smile as he got back to work. “Alright. I’ll see you, then.”  
Bond spent the cab ride musing over his morning walk and, soon, he was walking down to Q Branch. He fiddled with the box of pastries that he had grabbed from his flat along the way. He entered, wondering absently if he could start a mutiny by bringing some in for the minions as he went over to Q’s office. “Hello, Q.”  
The Quartermaster looked up from his computer screen, unable to help the grin that slowly formed on his face. He cleared his throat and managed to push back the smile a bit. “007. This way, please,” he said as he stood from his desk and led the agent back to one of the labs.  
Bond followed him closely and set the box of pastries on a table in the lab before hopping up next to it. “I brought breakfast,” he said with a smile.  
“You didn’t have to do that,” Q replied softly, shrugging his shoulders with a small smile. “But I am going to have to ask you to remove your shirt.”  
“I meant to get them to you before you left for work, but you beat me,” the agent smirked, starting to toy with the first button of his shirt. “And only if you ask very nicely. A little begging might help convince me.”  
Q rolled his eyes at him as he moved to get the equipment ready. He entered a code into the computer and a drawer opened. He pulled a vial and syringe out of the drawer before closing it.  
Bond raised his eyebrows at him as he finished slipping out of his shirt. “Am I missing a vaccination?”  
Q turned his head to looked at him, his eyes lingering over the agent’s chest before meeting his blue eyes. “I… I’ve volunteered you to test out some new equipment for me.”  
Bond caught his appreciative look, but ignored it for the moment. “Care telling me what you’ll be injecting me with? Equipment?”  
“It’s called smart blood. I’ll be able to track you without worrying about losing you again,” he says as he hooks him up to the heart rate monitor.  
Bond glanced at the monitor and pushed aside any anxiety he may have had for the shot and decided to play with it instead. Q brushed paced him and the agent willed his heart to race. The Quartermaster probably didn’t know that he had been trained to control his heart rate, but it would be fun either way.  
Q’s eyes widened when he heard the beeping and whirled around, glancing at the monitor before rushing to Bond’s side. “James?! James, what’s wrong? Are you alright? Should I page medical?”  
The agent let an easy grin slide onto his face as his heart rate increased again. “Just enjoying your presence.”  
Q slapped his arm in annoyance and muttered, “I hate you.” He tied a band around Bond’s arm before getting the syringe ready.  
Bond tensed but smirked, this time forcibly lowering his heartbeat as Q got the needle ready. He normally avoided medical just to skip out on this experience alone. When Q met his eyes, silently asking if he was ready, Bond nodded as Q took his arm in his hand and carefully injected him with the smart blood. He held his breath until the needle was finally pulled out and shook his arm a bit. “How’d I do, Doc? Do I get a sticker?”  
“We’re not quite done yet,” Q smirked. “Behave and maybe I’ll give you a kiss.” He raised a brow at him before going over to the computer to make sure that the smart blood was working.  
“Yes, sir,” the agent smirked to himself. He opened the box of pastries at his side and took a bite out of one as he watched the younger man work with the computers.  
Q bit his lip, brows furrowed as he typed rapidly. “Looks like it’s working. We’ll see how big of a range it’s got when you’re sent out on your next mission.”  
“I hope it’s somewhere warm again,” the agent mused. “Although, it’s pretty nice in Canada this time of year, I’ve heard. Not that I’d ever be sent there.”  
“Well, you never know,” Q replied with a shrug as he moved to unhook the agent from the monitor.  
Bond turned to stare at him as he moved away with the equipment. “Canada? What would I be doing? Aren’t they not even an option for us anymore? I feel like anyone taking advantage of them would apologize and take their business elsewhere.” He took another bite of the pastry and grinned.  
Q rolled his eyes at the agent with a fond smile before handing his shirt over to him. “You never know what could happen in this crazy world we live in.”  
“You sure you want me to put this back on?” The agent teased as he waved his shirt at Q. “And no. I'm pretty sure the lack of anything going on in Canada is the crazy thing.”  
“Just get dressed,” Q chuckled softly as he went back to work on the computer. “Any plans for tonight?”  
Bond stuffed the rest of the pastry into his mouth, sliding his shirt over his arms and quickly buttoning it up. “Not a thing. Unless you plan on changing that?” He smiled at the Quartermaster with a raised brow.  
“Do you want me to?” Q raised a brow at him. “I could come over after work.”  
The agent stepped close to him, wrapping an arm around Q’s waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. “Of course I do. Do you want me to cook again?” He asked, pressing a kiss to Q’s cheek before stepping back.  
The Quartermaster leaned into his touch as he spoke and looked back at him when he had stepped away. “If you’re feeling up to it. I may be a bit late tonight, though.”  
“That’s okay. It’ll give me time to prepare. What do you feel like eating?”  
Q shrugged a bit. “Honestly, I could probably just go for some pizza. It’s been ages since I’ve had it.”  
Bond smiled and nodded eagerly. “I love making pizza. Tossing the dough was one of my favorite things to learn.”  
The Quartermaster chuckled softly and leaned forward to give the agent a gentle kiss. “Perfect. I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”  
Bond smiled into the kiss. “Text me what toppings you like.”  
“Will do.” He pecked his lips once more with a smile before stepping away and going back to the computer.  
Bond watched his Quartermaster a moment longer, then smiled and left, already thinking of a list of things to get from the store.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning: torture/violence

Bond found himself outside of a flower shop, groceries bought and put away at his flat, what ingredients needed cutting done and put away. He had started a walk but had gotten sidetracked as he went by the small shop. He finally made up his mind and stepped in, hoping that it wouldn’t take long.   
He browsed through the shop, wondering what Q would like. It was a bit too early in their relationship for roses. Lilies reminded him of funerals. The agent wasn’t sure that he’d find anything, until his eyes fell upon and arrangement of sunflowers that made him smile. He purchased the bouquet before returning to his flat.  
Bond felt his phone vibrate in his pocket as he entered the building. Closing the door behind him, he took the stairs to his flat quickly. Stepping inside, he quickly placed the arrangement of flowers on the dining table before slipping his phone out of his pocket to read the text message. [Just leaving. I’ll be there in twenty minutes or so. -Q] He smiled and finished getting everything ready.  
When he had finished setting the table and cleaning up the counters, Bond checked the time. It was past time for Q to show. He frowned, seeing that it had been thirty-three minutes since his Quartermaster had sent the text. He sent Q a text, looking over what he had set out while he waited for a response. [What, did you get distracted?]  
When there was no response after a couple minutes, Bond called Q’s phone, starting to worry when it rang through to voicemail. He slipped his shoes on, calling again as he left his flat, locking up before starting on his way to Headquarters. The agent had made it a few blocks, still calling Q, when he heard a ring coming from in the bushes on the side of the path. He immediately rushed over, pushing the leaves away until he found Q’s phone. He let out a shaky breath as he grabbed it and searched through the bush until he found Q’s bag as well, everything still in it. He almost cursed in anger, grabbing the bag before rushing off the Headquarters, M’s number already ringing. When he answered, Bond spat out one sentence before hanging up. “Q’s been taken.”  
Bond rushed into Q Branch and, facing the group at large, he called out, “Q has been kidnapped!” The immediate response calmed him a bit and he moved forward a bit, ready to help however he could.  
Bond worked furiously alongside the minions and M as they all tried to find who had taken the Quartermaster. Hours passed before they finally got a face. M outlined where the man would be and then turned to look the agent straight on. “Don’t take too long torturing him,” M told him. “We need the information.”  
It took less than hour to find the man, and just a few minutes longer to be dragging him into a nearby empty storage room that someone from Q branch had located. Bond cuffed the man to a chair, going to the door and looking to make sure there was no one in the area to witness what was about to happen. He heard a shuffling sound behind him, the man making noises as he woke up and took in his surroundings, and closed the door, locking it behind him. He pulled out the single blade he had brought with him and examined it, readying himself. With a soft sigh, he made his way to the other room, starting to unbutton the cuffs of his shirt and roll up his sleeves.   
The man sat silent and sallow-faced in the chair, breathing tight and shallow and wrists already reddening from trying to escape the cuffs. He licked his lips once, nervously as Bond approached him, but didn’t say anything as the agent finished with his sleeves.  
“Oh good,” Bond murmured. “I was hoping you wouldn’t beg, that just gets so annoying.” He looked down at the knife he held balanced lightly in one hand, flipping it a few times absentmindedly.  
“You know what I want, and I really don’t want to have to muck about for too long. You know that if you don’t tell me what I want before you die, I’ll just go find somebody else who will.” Bond spoke in a deceptively mild tone, watching the pulse in his victim's neck tick faster and faster out of the corner of his eye. “At this point, you can still live. I can even promise no retaliation from MI6 if you tell me right now.” The agent waited a moment, watching with a detached sense of disgust as sweat began to bead along the man’s temples. When there was still no answer, Bond sighed disparagingly. “Fine.” In one smooth movement, he squatted in front of the man, jamming the knife into the meat of his thigh. The resulting scream echoed dissonantly around the mostly empty rooms.   
“You’ll have to excuse me, I really have no time for elegance.. Feel free to speak up at any time, really.” The man didn’t answer except for small whimpers he failed to hide as the agent slowly began wiggling the knife side to side, pushing the blade even deeper. The man wailed as the blade finally scratched against bone, Bond letting out a small hum of satisfaction.  
“This next bit will be really unpleasant. I should probably give you a moment to breathe, to think about whether or not you want to tell me where my Quartermaster is, hmm?” The agent smiled genially up at the man, but then shook his head. “But I don’t think I’ve changed your mind just yet.” Bond stood, putting more and more weight on the knife until finally, with a small crack, the blade sunk into the marrow of the bone. He waited a while as the man screamed, unable to get a hold of himself for a few good minutes and growing more and more hysterical until Bond slapped him across the face.   
“Hey, focus here, look at me.” Bond waited until the man’s eyes were vaguely focused on his. “We’re not done yet, you can breathe through this. Just think, if this is how painful it is now, what will I do next? How much more do you think you can take?” The man’s breathing started speeding again and Bond snapped his fingers in front of him again, leaning closer to the man’s face. “This is still salvageable. All I need is an address. A name.” The man’s lips pressed together firmly. Bond felt a flicker of respect for the man, but it was overtaken by a nauseating mixture of worry, irritation, and a sickening dash of fear for Q. The agent sighed disappointedly.  
“As you wish,” He murmured, grabbing the handle of the knife enough to jostle it roughly, then twisting until there was a much larger cracking noise as the femur split lengthwise. Bond sat through the resulting sobbing until the man’s words became clear.  
“The Hotel Cicero! The man who hired me, he’s at the Hotel Cicero” The man finally got out. “Just. No more, please, no more.” He sobbed. Bond considered the man thoughtfully, then pulled the knife up and to the side, neatly slicing through a femoral artery. He stood smoothly and watched solemnly as the man cried and bled out slowly, then called in a disposal team. Less than an hour later, he called in to Headquarters from the hotel.   
“He’s connected to the people who took me in Belize. If we find them, we might find Q.” He hung up, looking at the body tied up in the bathtub of the hotel room, and called the disposal team again. He entered the address the man had finally admitted to Bond into his phone, and washed his hands of blood before he left.  
A half hour drive later, the agent hurried through a crowd of people surrounding a club near the warehouse district. He had to be close. He had to believe that would find Q here. Nearly thirty-two hours had passed and this was where all of their efforts had pointed. Bond began to feel a bit more optimistic when a grunt barreled into him from a side alley. If he was being attacked, he had to be close.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q awoke, his head throbbing as he took in his surroundings. He was in a dark room, tied to a chair. He pulled against his restraints in an attempt to break free, but the ropes wouldn’t budge, only causing them to dig into his sensitive flesh even more.  
He stopped struggling and bit his lip harshly as as he thought things over. He knew how he was supposed to respond in these sort of situations, but he never thought he’d actually be kidnapped. He could only imagine what they were planning to do to him.  
Q sat up straighter in his seat, trying to maintain at least some sense of dignity, when he saw the door open. He didn’t recognize the main that entered, but he knew he was in trouble. The man stalked right up to him and hit him across the face with no warning, Q yelping softly in pain. “What the hell was that for?” The Quartermaster shouted at the man before he was struck again, knocking his glasses off his face.  
“I’m asking the questions,” the man growled at him.   
“But you haven’t asked any questions! You’re just hitting me!” Q regretted his smart tongue a second later as the man wrenched his head up by the hair and punched him right in the mouth. He flinched at the taste of blood as his lips cut against his teeth, but there was nowhere to go as the man held him steady and punched him a few more times. On the last punch he felt something snap and cried out as blood began gushing from his nose.   
Q hung his head as blood dripped from his mouth and nose, a small puddle forming on the floor. He remained as silent as he could while the man started to question him, not crying out an ounce more than he could hold back as the man pounded anywhere he could reach on Q’s body. He just prayed that Bond would get to him before it was too late.  
Q was left alone for an hour before the man returned and pulled him from the chair, throwing him to the ground as he shouted questions at him. But Q remained silent. He couldn’t give in. Bond would find him. He had to. Q grunted in pain as he was kicked in the stomach, beginning to worry that the agent would come too late. He was curled up on the floor, shivering violently as he murmured continuously. “Bond will come for me… He has to find me… He has to…” Two more men entered the room and pulled Q up to his knees, holding him there as he whimpered softly and prepared himself for the pain he was sure to come.

Bond kicked in another door, listing slightly to the side where a rib had been cracked. He took out the men inside quickly, killing with no mercy. He knew he was near the center of the building where Q must be, but he hadn’t found him yet. As he ran along the halls, he grabbed anything he could use as a weapon, improvising as he had quickly ran out of bullets. He ignored the pain in his side as he kicked in another door, gasping as he took in the situation. “Q!”   
The Quartermaster had caught a blurred glimpse of Bond’s face before the men threw him aside to attack. He hit his head as he landed, blacking out.  
Bond snarled and launched himself forward, using all of his body weight to jam the pipe he held in his hand into one of the men. He spun, using the momentum to roundhouse kick another man in the face. The man got another dazed punch in before the agent decked him again. He turned to the last man, the one holding Q, and froze, seeing only the gun that was held to the Quartermaster’s head.   
Bond stepped back and put his hands up, face blank and giving away none of the anger he was feeling. The man said something, but he couldn’t hear him. There was only buzzing in his ears. Bond doesn’t react until finally, /finally/, he takes the gun off Q, brandishing it at the agent instead. Bond leapt forward, not registering the pain in his arm as he took the man down, rolling away from Q. Bond grabbed the man’s gun hand from where it was flailing and twisted it, looking him dead in the eye as he slowly forced the man’s hand to point the gun at himself.   
“Look at me,” Bond growled at him, pushing the gun into the man’s mouth. “Look at me!” He bellowed, the man’s eyes finally flashing to his as he pulled the trigger.  
Bond rolled over to Q, breathing heavily as he looked him over. He was beaten up, but fine for now. He pulled out his phone and called M. “It’s done. I have him. We need paramedics.” The agent hung up before carefully pulling Q into his arms, pressing a kiss to his matted curls.

M walked in on the scene and looked over the two, brows furrowed with concern as the paramedics rushed over to carefully remove Q from Bond’s embrace. The Quartermaster’s eyes opened a bit, just in time to see Bond’s before they took him out to the ambulance.  
Bond stood and watched as they took Q away. He felt lightheaded and exhausted and, when M placed his hand on the agent’s shoulder, he flinched away in sudden pain. The lightheadedness only got worse as he realized that he was bleeding heavily and was suddenly on the ground. M knelt next to him, shouting at someone for help. All Bond felt was relief that Q was safe as everything faded away to black.


	10. Chapter 10

Q awoke in medical three days later, his head throbbing. He winced in pain and covered his eyes to block out the bright light of the room. He gave his eyes time to adjust before sitting up in bed and glancing around the room, his gaze falling upon Bond in the chair next to him.  
The agent jerked awake suddenly, looking up at Q blankly for a moment and then whispering, “Q?” He reached out to carefully push Q’s curls from his face, mindful of his bandages, and smiled softly. “You finally woke up, sleepy-head.”  
Q didn’t pay attention to Bond’s words and, instead, pulled off all the wires and tubes that were attached to him. He moved to stand up but his knees buckled beneath him.  
“Q!” Bond said, alarmed. He caught the younger man and hauled him up, holding him bridal-style, and then sunk down into the bed with a soft hiss of pain. “Q? What’s wrong? Hey. look at me.” He cradled Q’s face in his hands carefully. “We’re safe… You’re safe.”  
Q shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to push Bond away from him. “No, I need to… I need… I need to go home. I… I can’t be here. I need to go home.”  
Bond turned them on the bed so that Q was sitting next to him before standing and crouch to meet his eyes, never letting the contact between them break. “I know, Q. I know. But, first we have to make sure you’re okay, right?And then we’ll go home right after, does that sound good?” He looked between Q’s eyes as he seemed to calm a bit. “We’re going home, Q. It’s okay.”  
Q let out a shaky breath as he gripped the bed sheets tightly. “I-I can’t stay here. I…. I don’t want them to see me like this. I just want to go home.”  
Bond looked over Q carefully, assessing him. He was steady and the doctors had said he could leave that day, if he awoke. Although, they had probably meant much later than the sudden abbreviated plan he was coming up with in his head. “Well,” he said, leaning forward to gently press his forehead against Q’s, “You’re lucky you’re with me. Breaking out of here will be a breeze.” He pulled back and grabbed the plastic bag containing the Quartermaster’s clothes, setting it on the bed. “Get dressed.”  
Q swallowed thickly and began pulling his bloodstained clothes from the bag, carefully putting on his jeans first. He removed the stiff hospital gown he was wearing and pulled on his jumper.   
The agent finished sending a text before looking up at Q. “Christ, I should have gotten you new clothes,” he grimaced, “but I couldn’t leave.” His phone buzzed in his hand and he glanced at it before sliding it into his back pocket and removing his jacket. He stood up next to Q and helped him put it on before grabbing his hand. “Ready to go?” He asked, glancing around the room for things they may have forgotten. “Just keep your head down. Everything else has been taken care of.”  
Q bit down on his lip harshly as he followed holding on to Bond’s sleeve with his other hand. He kept his eyes on the floor, hardly able to see where he was going without his glasses.  
Bond led him carefully, slipping down hallways with no trouble. Finally, they stepped out of the building and he wrapped his arm, around Q’s slender frame. “Halfway home. Should I call a cab?”  
Q sniffled a bit and nodded his head as he curled into Bond’s body a bit, his own trembling. He knew he wouldn’t be able to handle walking all the way back to his flat.  
The agent grabbed a cab quick, hardly waiting for Q’s response, and helped him inside before settling in close. He told the driver the address, paying more attention to the slight tremors going through Q’s frame. He sent two more texts along the ride, then helped Q out of the car when they had arrived, paying the driver before leading him inside.  
Q licked his bleeding lip, ignoring the sting of pain that came along with it as they made their way up to his door. “Do you have my keys?” He asked quietly.  
Bond patted the pockets of his trousers before slipping his hand into the jacket Q was wearing. He pulled the keys out with a satisfied grin and let them in quickly. “Come on. We need to get you out of those clothes.”  
Q nodded as he carefully headed back to his bedroom. He slipped off Bond’s jacket, laying it carefully on the bed before removing the rest of his bloodstained clothes and leaving them in a pile on the floor. He sighed and went back to the bathroom for a shower, closing the door behind him. He turned on the water as hot as it would go and stepped inside, hissing softly at the feeling on his skin. He just stood under the stream of water, his fists clenched at his sides.  
Meanwhile, Bond grabbed some glasses from the cabinet and filled them both with water before setting them down on the table. He grabbed a plastic bag before going back to the bedroom and putting Q’s bloodstained clothes inside, tying it off before setting the bag next to the bin. He would ask Q what he wanted to do with it later. There was a quiet knock on the door and the agent went to answer it, grabbing the box of pizza from the man outside and paying him quickly. Hopefully Q would be up for eating.  
After getting the table ready, Bond went back to the bathroom and knocked on the door gently. “Q? Are you okay?” His brows furrowed with worry when there was no response. “Q, if you don’t answer me, I’m coming in.” He twisted the knob, relieved that it didn’t resist, and waited for an answer.  
He waited a moment longer before pushing the door open quietly. Bond stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, leaning back against it for a second. He was relieved to see Q standing there still, but he could see tremors wracking the younger man’s slight frame. Bond stepped forward and pushed the curtain out of the way, reaching one hand in to gently touch Q’s shoulder. “Hey, genius, how’re you doing?”  
Q flinched at his touch and stepping away from him, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the wall and tried to focus on his breathing. “I… I’m fine.”  
Bond flinched back as well, not meaning to have elicited such a response. He bit his lip, not knowing how to handle the situation. He turned away for a moment, finding a clean towel and turning back to hold it up for Q. “Why don’t you come out now? I have food for us?” He looked around quickly, searching for something but not finding it. “We need to get you a new pair of glasses.”  
“In the drawer next to the sink,” Q replied softly as he took the towel and wrapped it around himself.  
Bond turned and opened the drawer, shuffling through it until he found a pair of glasses. “Do you just have several of these laying about?”  
“I lose them,” Q mumbled as he went back through to the bedroom to get dressed.  
Bond followed, thinking nothing of it, and leaned against the doorway. “Your keys, your glasses, is there anything you wouldn’t lose if it wasn’t connected to you?” He realized that he was scanning the hall and room for threats, protecting Q even now.  
The Quartermaster shrugged his shoulders a bit in response as he opened the second drawer of his dresser. He grabbed a grey t-shirt and pulled it on with a wince.  
Bond saw the pain in Q’s face and looked away, shifting uncomfortably. He didn’t know how to handle this. The first time it had happened to Bond, he was back in the field in less than a week, ready for more. But Q wasn’t meant for this kind of battle. He excelled in one that the agent mostly did not understand. Bond didn’t know what to do, how to act. He turned to head back to the kitchen. “I got pizza.”  
Q nodded a bit with a quiet sigh before getting out a pair of boxers. He dropped his towel before pulling them on, putting on some track pants over them. He stood there and stared at the floor, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides.  
Bond hovered in the kitchen, fiddling with his glass of water for a moment before starting back toward the bedroom. He stopped, pausing at the entrance of the hallway. He just wanted to comfort Q, but would he feel smothered if he stayed around him? What if Q got angry and sent him away? He stopped himself. He was just winding himself up. When had his instincts ever led him wrong? The agent’s mind had come up with several scenarios in which that happened in just the short walk to Q’s bedroom, but he shook himself out of it when he saw him. Bond didn;t doubt himself this time. He moved to stand in front of Q so that he could see anything the agent did. Bond slowly stepped forward and pulled Q into his arms, not hesitating even when he felt his body stiffen.  
When the agent pulled him into his arms, Q let out a shaky breath and buried his face in Bond’s neck. After a moment, he carefully wrapped his arms around him in return, tightly gripping his shirt in his hands. His entire body ached and it took all he had not to cry.  
Bond slowly rubbed circles into Q’s back with one hand, reaching the other up to card through his curls. He could feel the younger man relaxing in his arms, the tremors in his body slowly easing. He doubted that he’d be able to stop them completely, but he was glad he could help.  
Q closed his eyes and he managed to let his body relax a bit more. There was still a lot of tension in his body, but he tried to ignore it. He didn’t make any move to let go of Bond.   
The agent slowly tugged him forward, walking backwards until the bed hit the back of his knees. He pulled Q into his arms again as he carefully fell back on the bed, pulling a blanket over the two of them. Bond pushed a kiss into Q’s hair and continued to rub his back soothingly, staying silent for the moment.  
As they lay down, Q curled up closely against him, leaning his head against the agent’s chest. He took in a shaky breath before whispering. “It hurts…”  
Bond stared up at the ceiling, his mind racing suddenly as he searched his memories for something he might have missed, some sign. “What’s hurts?”  
“Everything…” Q squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to keep calm. Bond’s presence definitely helped, but his body still trembled.  
The agent took a deep breath, relaxing a bit. He tried to think of what to say. “I know. And then your body will heal.” He wished he could think of something more comforting, but anything else would be a lie and he couldn’t do that to Q. Not now. Not ever.  
“That’s not the only thing that hurts,” Q murmured as he held onto the agent. He couldn’t make himself look up at him. He didn’t want to move.  
Bond lifted his head to look down at him. “What else?” He leaned up on his elbow, careful not to jostle Q too much.  
“My head,” Q sniffled softly. “My heart… Everything.” He shook his head as he continued to cling to him. “I feel so broken…”  
Bond wrapped his arm tighter around him. “Q, you’re not broken. Not to me. Not to anyone. You’re so strong. You faced them and everything they could dole out and you still came out on top. You survived. You have dealt with the worst and beat it. You, broken? That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Shaken, beaten down, mentally and physically exhausted, maybe. But never broken.” He leaned over Q more and looked him in the eye. “You are so strong, Q.”  
Q bit his lip as he met those blue eyes, tears stinging in his own. He finally allowed himself to break down and come undone as he began to cry. Pained sobs wracked through his body as he held onto Bond tightly.  
The agent laid back down, pressing kisses to Q’s hair and rocking them gently. He was glad that he had been able to talk to him, to say what he had needed to hear. Bond had always thought those things but had never been able to say them.  
Q continued to cry quietly into Bond’s chest. He hated showing weakness, especially around someone like James Bond, but being with him was much better than being alone. After a while, Q slowly managed to drift off to sleep in the agent’s arms.   
Bond listened to Q’s breathing as it evened out when he fell asleep. He felt a swell of /something/ in his chest that made it hard for him to breathe and swallowed thickly, blinking at the stinging in his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut and synced his breathing with Q’s, forcing his mind to calm. He could deal with whatever that was later. Seconds later, Bond was asleep, the heat radiating off Q’s body and his steady breathing, pulling the agent under.  
Q was lucky enough to get in a few hours of sleep before the nightmares settled in. He whimpered softly in his sleep, brows furrowed as he pulled away from Bond, his body jerking in phantom pain.  
Bond awoke immediately at the movement, wrapping his arms around Q and cradling his head gently. “Shh, sweet, it’s okay.” He rocked Q gently and he freaked out internally, trying to figure out how to calm him down. Something comes to mind and he almost brushes it off, but it’s all he can think of. He took a deep breath before beginning to sing. “Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you… Tomorrow I’ll miss you…” He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that it works. “Remember I’ll always be true… And then while I’m away, I’ll write home every day. And I’ll send all my lovin’ to you…” At this point, Bond just hopes Q won’t wake up. But it seems to be working, so he continues softly.   
Q’s body relaxed a bit, but he continued to whimper softly in his sleep, curling up closer to the agent. Bond relaxed back into the bed, continuing to hum. He didn’t know if he’d be able to get back to sleep at this point so he allowed his mind to wander, singing again when Q’s nightmares threatened to wake him. At some point, they both fell into a deeper sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song James sang is All My Lovin' by The Beatles.


	11. Chapter 11

Q wakes early the next morning and rubs his eyes before reaching for his glasses and putting them on. He pays no attention to the man next to him as he gets up out of bed, moving to the bathroom to get ready.  
Bond sat up as the bathroom door clicked shut, blinking sleep out of his eyes. He glared at the clock, time flashing 6:30 a.m. at him. “Q?” He hauled himself up and padded down the hall, peering into the bathroom to find his Quartermaster brushing his teeth. “What’re you up to?”  
“‘M getting ready for work,” he replied with a shrug before rinsing his mouth and exiting the bathroom, brushing past Bond.  
The agent stood in the doorway, hesitating and then sighing in exasperation. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop him anyways. Bond leaned into the bathroom, using the mirror to fuss with his hair for a moment before straightening out his clothes the best he could. He moved through to the kitchen and tried to find some coffee, grabbing a slice of cold pizza to eat.  
Q dug around in the drawer of his dresser for a pair of socks. He looked up into the mirror and gasped softly when he realized just how bruised his face was. He stood there and stared into the mirror, a hand over his mouth  
Bond walked into the room with a slice of pizza for Q, but stopped and set down the plate when he saw what had happened. “Hey, look at me, sweet.” The agent felt a small flush of embarrassment to his core and hoped he wasn’t blushing for calling Q that out loud, but pushed the feeling away. “Your body is still healing. It’s going to look worse before it gets better, but it’s nothing more than that. Your strong, capable body doing what it does best and making you better. Don’t worry about them. They will fade and, for now, they are a sign that someone took you down to your lowest point and you got right back up.” He pressed a kiss to Q’s cheek. “Plus, you look pretty badass.”  
Q rolled his eyes at that last part and leaned against him with a nod of his head. He took a deep breath before taking a seat on the bed to put his socks on.  
Bond grabbed the pizza again and poked and prodded until Q managed to eat a few mouthfuls. He begged his Quartermaster to make coffee, making note of where it is when Q gets up to do so before putting on his shoes and grabbing his bag. “A-Are you coming in today?”  
The agent scratched the back of his neck. “Well, I have a few errands to run in town and I need to get a change of clothes, but I’ll come in with you. M probably wants me to do all sorts of paperwork.” He frowned at the thought.  
Q nodded his head a bit and carefully pulled on his jacket. “Are you ready, then? I… I’ve got a lot of things to do.”  
Bond slipped his shoes on, then opened the door for him. “Ready when you are,” he grinned. Q nodded and stepped outside, getting his keys and locking the door.

 

Bond said goodbye as the cab dropped them off at Headquarters. He went home to change his clothes and spent nearly an hour cleaning up spoiled food. When he had finally made it back to Headquarters, he started to make his way down to see Q, but was intercepted by a desk worker. “M is expecting you in his office for a meeting.” The agent rolled his eyes with a sigh before following.  
When he had arrived, Moneypenny let Bond into M’s office, where he found him sitting at his desk, going over the report of Q’s rescue. M looked up from the file and gestured to the chair across from him. “Sit.”  
Bond nearly rolled his eyes but crossed the room and sat. “You wanted to see me, sir?”  
“Yes,” M nodded before getting straight to the point. “How long have you been seeing Q?”  
The agent blinked once. “I’m not sure what you mean, /sir/.” His thoughts raced. How would this affect Q?  
“You know exactly what I mean, 007. Q was a mess while you were MIA and you practically went crazy searching for him. If there’s something going on between my agents, I need to know. Now, answer the damn question.”  
Bond gripped the arm of his seat, knuckles going white before letting go. “About two months,” he replied as he looked away. “M, you must kno-”  
“Two months and you didn’t bother to tell me? Do you have any idea how many missions, how many /lives/ you put in danger, 007?”  
The agent’s expression tightened. “None. You think I would allow this to enter my work? I don’t understand the problem. We need Q and I got him back. If he didn’t have someone to check in on him, he’ll forget to eat and sleep. How is this a bad thing?”  
M shook his head with a sigh. “It’s a problem when your emotions get in the way of you doing your job.”  
He turned his head sharply away from M. “They’re not. We are both professionals. We can handle it.”  
“Well, he couldn’t. He could barely function when you disappeared. He’s growing dependent on you and it’s only going to get worse as he recovers from this.”  
Bond stiffened and parted his lips into a snarl. “Why isn’t he here? Where are you getting off on this talking about him when he’s not even in the fucking room?! He’s /fine/. I’m /helping/.” He got up and began to pace.  
“Don’t you think he’s been through enough? He’s recovering. The last thing he needs is something else to worry about.”  
“What do you think he’s going to worry about? I’m there so he /doesn’t/ worry. He needs me right now.” Bond stopped pacing. “Why am I here? You called /me/ here.”  
“To make sure you understand the consequences of your actions. It was because of you that Q was taken in the first place, and I’m not willing to let that happen again.”  
Bond shook his head. “No. No, it wasn’t my fault. No, there was no way…” He covered his mouth with his hand. He knew that M was right. If he hadn’t messed up his mission in the first place, if he had kept his cool despite the situation, he would have been able to take them out. Deal with them before they got to Q. He let out a shaky breath and nearly whispered,” What do you propose I do?”  
“Do what’s right for Q,” M nodded. “Personally, I think you should end it, but I won’t ask you to unless you feel that’s what you need to do.”  
Bond shook his head slowly, barely able to move. But, at the same time, accepting it. It made sense. A clean break. A completely professional relationship. No cooking for him. No walks. Back to being the legacy. He could do that. He could do that for /Q/. Even if it meant that the agent would go back to being alone, in the place that he rented only for somewhere to be when he wasn’t halfway around the world. “Okay,” he barely mouth before clearing his throat. “Okay. It won’t be a problem anymore. Good day.”   
The agent stepped out of M’s office and closed his eyes, leaning back against the door. He could hear Moneypenny asking him something, but his thoughts were floors below, in a room with a curly-haired genius. How could he tell him this? How could he possibly do this? All he knew is that it would have to be in person. He wouldn’t be the type of person to do this to Q in any other way. He didn’t want to do it at all. He came back to himself once he was outside the doors of Q Branch. He had run out of time. He had to do it now.   
Bond kept his face blank as he walked into Q Branch. His eyes found Q immediately, sitting behind his desk as if it were a normal day for the two of them, that his face wasn’t bruised. Like he wasn’t hampered at all by what had happened. Suddenly, it hit him. Q didn’t need Bond. Q was strong enough to be without him. It was just as Q had said when they had just met. Bond was a grand old warship now. A remnant of what was and what soon would no longer be. Bond was just weak and tired. He would not burden Q anymore in this way.   
Bond stepped into Q’s office. “Q.” He shut the door almost all the way. “We need to talk.”  
Q had just been sitting in silence, staring blankly at his screen as he tried to forget about what had happened to him. He looked up at Bond when he entered, a small smile on his face. However, that smile soon faded as the agent spoke, his brows furrowing. “Why? What’s wrong? Are… Are you being sent out again? M didn’t say anything to me…”  
The agent inhaled deeply through his nose. “No, it’s not that. I need to tell you something. To your face.” He felt like his insides were corroding. “We can’t… I can’t be with you anymore. It’s affecting our work. We should maintain only a professional relationship. We are risking ours and others lives by having possible emotions cloud our decisions.” He blinked slowly, almost unable to reopen his eyes.  
Q just stared at him for a moment in shock before shaking his head. “No. You… You can’t be serious. You’re kidding, right? This is some kind of joke. It has to be.”  
Bond stared at him for a moment, blatantly shocked. “Do you really think I’d joke about something like this?”  
Q shook his head again as tears began to well up in his eyes, but he pushed them back. I… I don’t… I don’t understand. Why? We’re fine when we’re working. I…” He turned his back to him and took a deep breath. “Why couldn’t you have decided this before I was kidnapped and fucking tortured?”  
Bond held his breath, trying to keep up his calm facade. “This is because of that. It was my fault that anything happened to you at all and, by removing me from the equation, I’m removing the chance of you being hurt again. I know it’s not good timing and-” He cut himself off. “My apologies, truly.”  
Q shook his head again, running his hands through his hair in frustration. “Fuck you, Bond.” He sighed and bit his lip as he wiped away the tears that had rolled down his face.  
While Q was turned away, Bond let his eyes close for a second, feeling the pain roll across his face. “I’ll go now. I’m sor- Goodbye.”  
Q took a deep breath and got back to work, hoping it would keep his mind off everything. When he returned to his flat that night, he finally gave up the control he had over his emotions. He discarded his jacket and shoes by the door before going to curl up in bed, quiet sobs wracking through his body as he cried.


	12. Chapter 12

Bond made it home somehow. He didn’t know when or how, but, as he stepped through the door, he didn’t hesitate. Shucking his jacket, the agent went straight to his liquor cabinet, so unused recently, and grabbed the first bottle he saw. Before he could even think about bothering with a glass, he had the cap off, already taking a gulp. He hissed as it went down, harsh and hot, leaving a beautiful numbness behind. He took another swig, dragging out a chair from the table and straddling it backwards, his arms dangling across the back. “I didn’t want to do that,” he murmured to himself. “Not to you. Never to you.” He knocked back another gulp.  
He heard a shuffling behind him and glanced around to see Alec standing in the doorway, stretching and scratching at the back of his neck. With a last yawn, Alec rocked up onto the balls of his feet a few times, letting his arms fall back down to his sides again.  
“What’s got you in such a mood? I thought you quit drinking?” He asked, stepping around Bond to snag a chair as well. He sat back comfortably, crossing his arms, and giving James a sharp look. “Spill then. M refusing to send you off on a mission? Did that sharp little redhead in Medical slap you again? Did Q tell you off for something?” Alec cajoled, trying to push James into a reaction. James grimaced at the last comment, moving to take another long drag from the bottle. Alec frowned, shocked. “Q? Did Q do something?”  
“No.” James grunted. “No, of course not,” He continued, voice softer. “How could he do anything wrong. It’s always me that fucks everything up.”   
Alec snorted, frowning deeply. “Stop being so maudlin, James. Out with it already, you prick.”   
James pushed himself up, glaring blearily at Alec.”I did what was best for him! He can’t see it right now, but he’ll thank me later. He shouldn’t have to deal with all the problems that I come with.” His gaze shifted away from Alec’s face as the man slowly stood, face like stone.   
“What the fuck did you do, James?”  
James slowly sank back down until he settled against the back of the chair again. “I broke up with him. At work. I had to do it in person, and I had to do it before I let myself be selfish, and keep him, regardless of how it would hurt him more later.” His voice began wavering towards the end and he trailed off, sipping from the bottle even as Alec moved so he was standing directly in front of him, towering over him, really. Big and broad and pissed off.   
“You’ve fucked up. And this time, I don’t think you can fix it. I don’t even think you deserve to fix it. What the fuck, James, why would you do this? To yourself? To Q? You had something finally, something you could keep, and would make you happy. Can you even tell me why?”  
“M confronted me, told me I had to do something about it, that he doesn’t want me risking our Quartermaster’s life anymore,” James murmured, defeatedly slumping forward. Alec bristled like a cat, anger and disappointment emanating from him strongly.  
“You’re a fucking idiot, James. If you don’t fix this, I will make sure you regret this more than you already will.” Alec pushed past James, exiting the kitchen and then the flat in quick succession, the door slamming shut behind him with finality. James sighed heavily, sipping again from the bottle, then crossing his arms across the top of the chair back and resting his head on top of them, his mind wandering for some time before he managed to pull himself back to reality.  
Bond frowned at the bottle in his hand. When had it run out? How long had he been there? It didn’t matter anyways. There were three ways he knew how to deal with a problem: a drink, a fuck, or a fight. I didn’t trust himself with any more of the first. The second he just… he couldn’t. Only the third remained. Bond grappled with the chair until he was on his feet. Nearly falling, he scooped up his jacket, pulling it on as he left the stupid, empty flat that would never be his home, and went out to look for a fight.

Q had managed to fall asleep after a while, only to be jolted awake by his nightmares. He had tried to go back to sleep, but his trembling body wouldn’t let him. Finally, he gave in a reached for his phone. He tried calling Moneypenny first, but there was no answer. With a heavy sigh, he decided to try texting Bond. [Can you come over? I’m not asking for anything. I just don’t want to be alone right now. -Q]  
His head was swimming pleasantly when Bond noticed a vibration in the pocket of his jacket. “My phone?” He fumbled for it, squinting against the light of the screen as he read Q’s text. “Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad idea,” he chanted quietly, even as he typed out an affirmative answer. He sent it and then paused. He had no idea where he was, but a cab could take him anywhere, he thought as he flagged one down. He gave the address and got a weird look from the driver, not understanding why until he figured out where he was. How the hell did he get to Camden Town?  
Q let out a sigh of relief when he read Bond’s reply and got up to unlock the door for him. He made himself a cup of tea before curling up on the couch with one of his cats. His hands shook as he raised the mug to his lips, sipping tentatively.  
Bond stepped out of the cab, tossing a few bills at the driver. “I should not be doing this,” he said to himself. “M will be pissed. I /am/ pissed.” Even as he stated this, he was resolutely marching to the door. He went up the stairwell to Q’s flat and knocked lightly.  
“It’s open,” Q called out to him weakly as he set his mug aside and hugged his knees to his chest.  
Bond stepped in. Standing there and looking at Q, he knew he shouldn’t have come. From the moment they had met, James hadn’t been able to resist him. Though at first, he had thought it was completely carnal, like all of his relationships were. But then they began to really date and he had started to care for Q. Even when he had been sober, he had felt wrong about the situation. Now that his inhibitions were gone, there was no where else he would rather be. It was terrifying. It was so outside of his norm that he didn’t know how to act and he couldn’t follow his superior. M had to be wrong. There was no way that this pure feeling he had rarely felt before in his life was wrong. Neither of them had moved since Bond had stepped inside, but now, as Q turned to look up at him, he couldn’t help it. James crossed the room and sat next to Q, wrapping his arms around him.  
Q closed his eyes as he leaned into Bond’s embrace, shaking his head as he whispered, “I-I’m so sorry, James. I know I shouldn’t have asked you to come but…” He took a shaky breath. “I couldn’t be alone and Eve didn’t answer and I just…” He shook his head again as he buried his face in the agent’s shirt.  
James tightened his grasp around him. “I couldn’t stay away. I…” He didn’t know how to explain the situation, how to tell Q he had been wrong. He didn’t know how to tell him that he regretted putting him through more stress and he didn’t know what to do about M. “Q, I…”  
“Don’t,” Q said softly as he shook his head. “Just hold me.” He curled up against him more, not wanting to talk. They could discuss it more in the morning, but not right now.  
James quieted his thoughts and pulled Q further into his arms. His Quartermaster was right for now. Being close was enough.  
Q closed his eyes as he let his body relax against James, feeling better now that he was there. He could smell the alcohol on him, but said nothing. It didn’t matter. Not right now, as he drifted off to sleep.  
Bond settled into a comfortable position and enjoyed Q’s warmth sinking into him. His eyes slowly became heavy, despite his wishes.


	13. Chapter 13

Slowly, James woke up fully, beginning to want to move. He looked down at Q, still solidly asleep against his chest, and smiled. He shifted up onto his elbow, drawing Q’s body up his chest so that Q’s head was leaning against the agent’s shoulder and neck. Bond sat up, scooping up Q’s legs and carrying him down the hall to the bedroom, shifted the covers out of the way as much as he could before laying him down. He tried to move back, but Q still had a tight grip on his shirt. Bond smiled and leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his Quartermaster’s forehead. Then, he took up Q’s hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently as he removed it from his shirt. He pulled the sheets up over Q, smiling for a moment before turning to leave the room. Bond went to start a pot of coffee and then went to the bathroom for a shower.  
Q mumbled softly in his sleep as he was laid down and tucked in, remained that way until he heard the shower. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes with a soft yawn before getting up and wandering into the kitchen to fill his cats’ dishes with food and water.  
Bond stepped out of the shower when he was finished and looked doubtfully at the clothes he had left folded on the toilet. He dried off and hung up the towel to dry before grabbing the pile of clothes and tossing them near the bed once he realized that Q wasn’t there. Turning, he went out to the kitchen to get some coffee and find Q.  
Q was leaning back against the counter, slowly sipping his coffee, which he nearly spat out when he saw the agent. “Fucking hell! Put some clothes on!”  
Bond startled back a step, reacting to the sudden loud noise before registering the words. “Jesus, Q, I haven’t even had coffee yet. And I don’t have any clean clothes. I’m not putting what I came in back on.”  
Q rolled his eyes and set his mug down on the counter before going back to the bedroom. He grabbed his robe and returned, tossing it over to Bond. “You’re not really helping, you know.”  
Bond slid the robe on, not bothering to close it up yet as he was too preoccupied with his coffee. “With what?”  
“You broke up with me yesterday and now you’re walking around my flat, naked,” Q sighed and grabbed his mug.  
The agent froze. He had known last night that they should have talked, but it wouldn’t have been fair to Q, as he had been emotionally exhausted and Bond had been drunk. Now, he didn’t know how to break the ice. He carefully tied up the robe. “I didn’t mean to do that,” he murmured. “I didn’t even think about it… Q, I… There’s something I need to say.” He fidgeted.  
“Don’t worry about it,” Q shook his head as he raised his mug to his lips. “I shouldn’t have asked you to come in the first place. I won’t let it happen again.”  
“No, Q, please don’t say that. Listen, I need to tell you why yesterday… Fuck. I don’t know how to explain this. M called me in… Look, the thing I want to say is, because of you, I can’t obey orders. No! That’s not how I meant to say it!” He rubbed his face. “I can’t resist being with you. I feel things. Things I didn’t think were possible for me to feel.” He stared at Q, exhaling roughly. “I shouldn’t want this, but I do. I want you.”  
Q let out a shaky breath as he stared at him. Finally, he shook his head and set his mug aside as he moved to leave the kitchen. “No…. No, I can’t do this. You can’t fucking do this to me.”  
James shook his head, clenching his jaw. “Q, Please… Q…” He reached out and took Q’s hand, pulling him back carefully to face him. “I made a mistake, but I don’t ever want this to stop. I don’t ever want to let you go. And, if you give me a second chance, it won’t happen again. I won’t be led to doubt again. I will do all I can to never hurt you again. I /never/ want to hurt you and it tore me apart to say those things.” He inhaled shakily. “But if you won’t, I… I’ll let you be. But, Q, please… “He stared in straight in the eyes, intense. “Even if you won’t take me back, please, don’t stop calling me if you need someone. I still want to be there for you, even if you just need someone to hold you and leave in the morning.” Bond looked down, then moved away, Q’s hand sliding from his grasp. He tried to concentrate on his breathing while he waited for an answer.  
Q looked away from him in an attempt to hide the tears that were forming in his eyes. He was overwhelmed by all of this and couldn’t think straight. Running his fingers through his mess of curls, he took in a shaky breath and shook his head. “I… I can’t… Fucking hell. I can’t fucking do this right now. I… I need to get ready for work.” With that, he turned and went back down the hall, locking himself in the bathroom.  
The agent stood in the entrance of the hallway, jaw clenched and forlorn, not knowing what to do. He turned and looked at the kitchen, going to wash the coffee pot and their mugs after he had downed the still scalding liquid. That done, he turned and quietly went back to the bedroom where, after debating back and forth for a good while, he ditched the robe and slid, grimacing, into last night’s clothes. Trying to ignore his skin crawling, Bond moved back out to the living room where he found Q’s cats. He slumped down next to them on the couch, letting them sniff his hand. One crawled into his lap, purring. “At least you don’t hate me.”  
Q just sat on the bathroom floor for a while as he tried to get his emotions under control. He just didn’t understand any of it. With a heavy sigh, he undressed and got into the shower, hoping it would help relieve some of the stress.  
Bond finally stood, letting the cat hop out of his arms. He needed to go home and get out of those clothes. He needed to prepare to let Q go. He was pretty sure that would be Q’s decision. It made sense. He stopped the negative thoughts. He needed to get out and let the air clear. James snagged his jacket and left, closing the door without a sound. He quickly walked to his flat, peeling off his clothes as soon as he was inside and tossing them into the hamper. He showered quickly, not able to stand the gritty feeling of his skin.   
Q stayed in the shower for a good while, mulling things over in his head. Of course he wanted to be with James. He just didn’t know if his body could handle any more pain. When he was finished getting ready, he wasn’t surprised to find that Bond had already left. He was slightly relieved. It gave him more time to think about it. He went to clean up the kitchen but sighed when he saw that it was already done for him. Q shook his head, pulling on his shoes and jacket before heading into work.


	14. Chapter 14

It had taken a while, but James had finally decided to just go ask M for an assignment. He could get out of London for a few days, let Q have some space, and have time to prepare himself for Q’s decision. He slid on fresh clothes before leaving the flat. It wasn’t long before he was striding past Moneypenny’s… empty desk? He became aware of a loud voice coming from M’s office and carefully eased the door open, peering inside. Q? He was standing in front of M’s desk, yelling. But, even as James watched, Q seemed to crumple a bit and wavered. Moneypenny, who he hadn’t noticed at first, stepped in and picked up where Q had left off as she led Q towards James and pushed him gently in his arms. James wrapped his Quartermaster in a hug and led him out of the office, leaving the door cracked open behind them. “Q? Shh, it’s okay. What were you doing in there?” He asked, shocked at seeing Q yell at someone.  
Q took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself, wiping away his tears. He had been crying a lot lately and he hated it. But there was just so much going on that he couldn’t control it.   
“I just… He shouldn’t be interfering with our lives like this. We haven’t been breaking any official rules and we had been acting professionally. So. I just wanted to make him understand it wasn’t okay.”  
Bond sucked in a breath and began to gently pet Q’s hair. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry. I wish I had never let him get to me. I’m so sorry.” He pressed his face against Q’s temple, just trying to get as close as he could and hoping it would comfort Q some.  
Q nodded and wiped his eyes some more, glad that they were alone. He couldn’t let anyone see him like this. “This week just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it?”  
James smoothed one hand down Q’s back and back up in big, lazy swoops, carefully pressing a kiss to his head and thinking Q wouldn’t notice. “Well, things should get better from here, right?”  
“God, I hope so.” Q nodded as the yelling from M’s office diminished and Moneypenny emerged.  
Bond subconsciously turned his body as she came closer, shielding Q. “Hello, Moneypenny. Had a lot to get off your chest?” She huffed in response.  
Q pulled away from Bond a bit as he managed to compose himself, his eyes red from crying as he gave her a small, appreciative smile.  
The agent slowly took a step back from him, giving him space, and glanced at Moneypenny. “Did you leave him in a condition to talk? I was going to ask him something.”  
“You’re not asking him anything,” she replied as she handed him a file. “Everything’s approved. Take as much time as you need.”  
Bond looked down at the file, raising his brows. “What, exactly…?” He flipped the folder open, glancing at the details. “Oh,” he breathed, looking over the contents further. He flicked his eyes back up at her, incredulous. “But…” Finally, he flipped the file toward Q and let him grab it. Moneypenny handed him another file and he glanced at it, raising his eyebrows even more. He covertly glanced at Q and, seeing that he was engrossed, skimmed through the file, memorizing the information. He made eyes contact with Moneypenny and nodded his thanks as he handed the file back to her.  
Q furrowed his brows as he read over the file. “What… What is this?” He asked as he looked up at them. “I can’t go on holiday. I have work to do.”  
Moneypenny shook her head. “You can’t say no. It’s already been worked out. Go. M agrees that some time off would do you both some good. And we’ve already got people in place to take care of your department. The minions have also been informed not to let you in if you try. Plus, you wouldn’t let my gift go to waste, would you?” Bond watched as she shifted tactics flawlessly, her expression pleading.  
Q glared at her for a moment before grumbling softly to himself. He turned and left the office to go back to Q Branch for his things.  
Bond smirked after him before turning to Moneypenny, who promptly held up a pair of tickets and car keys. He took them and slipped them into his pocket. “You know that we’re not really doing well right now, right?”  
She smirked. “That man just bitched out the head of MI6 for you and your relationship. I trust you to fix the rest.” Bond gave her a searching look before going to find Q.

Q had some trouble getting into his office, but he eventually managed to convince the minions that he was just getting his things. He went in a grabbed his jacket and bag before finishing up a few things on his computer before shutting it down. He then left his office, shutting the door and locking it behind him before heading out. He hoped that this holiday was a good idea.  
James went down to find Q, meeting him as he stepped out of Q Branch. He fell in step beside him, feeling like everything was almost back to normal. He knew they had a lot to talk about, and he was stressed out of his mind about it, but he couldn’t help but feel calm around Q. Bond opened the door for him and they stepped out onto the street. “So,” he started awkwardly, “what are you going to do with your time off?” He didn’t know how to bring up the trip.  
Q shrugged his shoulders, feeling awkward, himself. “I don’t know. I don’t really have much of a life outside of work… Just… Whatever I’ve got with you… I guess.”  
James took a deep breath. “If you don’t have anything going on, then… Would you like to come on a trip with me? We could work on…” He licked his lips nervously. “The… Whatever you have with me?” He winced at the wording.  
Q raised a brow at him. “A trip? Where?” His hand brushed against Bond’s as they walked.  
The agent bit his lip as he felt Q’s hand against his, wanting to just twist his wrist a little to catch it, but he didn’t know if it would be welcome. “The destination is going to be a bit of a mystery for you, but I promise you’ll love it.”  
Q smiled a bit at that. Getting away would definitely help him recover, especially if James was with him. “Alright. When do we leave?”  
Bond let out a happy breath, relieved. “Tomorrow morning. We can pack and get ready tonight,” he smiled, trying not to beam.  
Q nodded as they arrived at Bond’s flat. “Do you, um… Do you want to pack your things and... maybe… Come over?”  
Bond’s eyes widened a bit, his jaw dropping slightly. “I… Yes, I’d like that very much. Do you want to come in? It’ll only take me a minute to grab my things.”  
Q nodded with a slight smile and followed him inside. He had almost forgotten how empty the flat was. He looked around once more before taking a seat on the couch.  
James lingered for a moment before making his way down the hall to the bedroom. Opening his drawers, he pulled out a few outfits and put them into a bag. Moving to the bathroom, he grabbed his travel bag and stuffed it into his duffle as well as he walked back down the hall. “Done. Ready to go?”  
He looked up and him and nodded and he stood, following him to the door. “So, um… How long are we staying wherever we’re going?”  
James opened the door for him as they left the flat. “A week. A week there and a week at home.” He slung the bag over his shoulder as they exited the building. As they started to walk to Q’s flat, Bond felt his Q’s hand brush against his again. He took a deep breath and, on the next step, slipped their hands together, gently twining his fingers between Q’s.  
Q bit his lip softly at that and gently gave Bond’s had a squeeze as they walked. When they had arrived, Q didn’t let go of him as he unlocked the door and pulled him inside. He closed the door behind them and shrugged off his jacket, placing it and his bag on the table before running his fingers through his hair a bit nervously. “So, um… I, uh...I suppose we’ve got some things to talk about.”  
James took a deep breath, but he didn’t feel so full of dread like he had before. “We do. How did you find out about M?”  
“You said his name last night. I figured it out from there,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.  
Bond stepped in, unable to help himself and he brushed Q’s fringe out of his eyes. “So clever,” he whispered. “And… Have you decided?”  
Q licked his lips as he looked up at the agent and shook his head with a small smile. “There’s nothing to decide.”  
James let his hand brush through Q’s hair and then brought it down to frame his face, sweeping his thumb over the corner of Q’s lips. “Q…” He whispered, tilting his head down and pausing and inch away from Q’s lips, enjoying the heat and closeness of the situation.  
Q closed his eyes, biting his lip softly. He took a deep breath before finally closing the gap between them and pressing his lips to Bond’s.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we get to the actual porn.

James hummed into the kiss, stepping closer to Q as he splayed his hand across the younger man’s chest. His fingers settled into the divots of Q’s ribs and his thumb began to rub gentle circles around his nipple. Biting softly on Q’s bottom lip, he turned his head to kiss down his jawline. Q gasped softly at the feeling of the agent’s hand on his chest and tilted his head to the side. He closed his eyes, lips parting as he let out a soft moan.  
Bond continued to kiss down his Quartermaster’s neck, nipping at the crook of his neck. He slid his other hand from Q’s face around to the back of his neck to tug at the dark curls there. His other hand moved to pinch Q’s nipple before beginning to undo the buttons of his shirt.  
Q reached up suddenly to stop Bond’s hand, opening his eyes with a slightly scared expression. He didn’t want him to see his beaten and battered body again.  
Bond stopped, letting his lips rest on Q’s neck. “Q?” He whispered, confused. He moved his head up to look him in the eyes.  
Q shook his head, biting his lip softly as he avoided Bond’s gaze. “You… You shouldn’t have to see me like this.”  
James leaned in and kissed him again. “Q,” he whispered against his lips,” There is nothing, nothing in the entire universe that would stop me from thinking that you are the most wonderful, most entrancing being I have ever held in my arms.” He pressed his forehead to Q’s. “You are gorgeous, from your brilliant brain to your engaging eyes. Every inch of beautiful skin.” He closed his eyes, letting his arms settle around Q’s delicate frame. Q let out a shaky breath and wrapped his arms around him tightly, burying his face in Bond’s neck.  
The agent pulled back a bit so he could talk quietly in Q’s ear. “Why don’t we get you packed and ready and get you some food?”  
Q nodded and rubbed his eyes. “There, um… There’s still pizza in the fridge.”  
James pressed a kiss to Q’s neck, just below his ear. “Why don’t you go to your room and start packing?” He said, trailing his nose up and down Q’s neck. “I’ll heat something up for us.”  
Q nodded, letting out a shaky breath as he carefully let go of him. He swallowed thickly before wandering off to the bedroom to get packed.  
James watched him go, sighing, then turned to the kitchen. He grabbed the pizza, placing a few pieces on a plate before sticking it into the microwave for a minute. He busied himself by making tea while the pizza was heated. When the microwave beeped, he removed the plate and placed a few of the pieces onto another before setting them both on the table. He walked over to call into the hall. “Food’s ready, babe.”  
Q smiled a bit at the pet name and called back, “Just a minute!” He zipped up his bag, hoping he had everything he would need, and sat down on the bed. There was so much going through his head and he wished he had someone he could talk to. He couldn’t talk to James because it was mostly about him. He couldn’t talk to Eve because she would probably tell James. He could talk to his sister, but he didn’t want to put her at risk. He let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair before going out to the kitchen.  
James smiled as Q approached, though he noticed how tired he looked. “We’ll eat and then I think it’s time for you to go to bed.” Q nodded as he sat down at the table, letting out a quiet sigh as he removed his glasses to rub his eyes. James brought their mugs over and set them on the table, watching Q closely. “Do you have a headache?”  
“More like an everything-ache,” Q sighed and took his mug, sipping from it.  
“It’s going to hurt for a while, but I can get you some paracetamol if you think it’ll help you feel better?” James moved to stand even before Q nodded gratefully, going down the hall to search the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.  
Q managed to finish one piece before pushing his plate away, looking over his shoulder as James came back down the hall with a few pills that he deposited in front of Q. Q swallowed them with a sip of tea and smiled softly in thanks at James. He sighed softly and stood up, taking his plate to the sink. He began to wash the dishes, James moving to his side with his own plate to help. Q bit his lips softly before beginning to hum softly to himself.  
When James heard, he stopped what he was doing and looked at Q, trying to hide his shock. “How do you know that song?”  
Q turned and raised a brow at him. “What? Am I not allowed to like the Beatles?”  
Bond relaxed a bit. “I was just wondering. No need to get defensive about it,” he teased. He walked up behind Q, wrapping his arms around his waist and crooning in his ear. “Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you… Tomorrow I’ll miss you… Remember I’ll always be true.”  
Q stopped washing the dishes for a moment and smiled as he leaned back into James. “So, that wasn’t a dream, huh?”  
Bond stiffened a bit. “You weren’t supposed to be awake for that.”  
“The nightmare woke me,” Q replied with a shrug. “I never said anything because I didn’t want to embarrass you. And I thought it was kinda cute…”  
James huffed, offended. “I am not cute.” He slowly turned his head, mouthing at Q’s neck and sliding his hands down to bracket Q’s hips. “I can think of a few words, but cute is not one of them,” he teased.  
Q closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Bond’s lips on his neck. Drying off his hands, Q turned and reached up to run his fingers through the older man’s hair. “I think you have your moments.”  
Bond leaned into his touch, slipping his hands under Q’s shirt to rest on his back. “If you tell someone, I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you,” he smiled, leaning in to kiss both of Q’s cheeks before swooping in to kiss his mouth. Q let out a soft chuckle as he returned the kiss, wrapping his arm around the agent’s shoulders.  
James slipped his hands further up Q’s back, tracing the tattoo that he knew was there. He crowded closer to him before pushing him back against the counter. Q gasped softly as he was pinned and arched his chest against Bond’s, kissing him deeply. The agent hummed approvingly into the kiss, sliding one hand up to cradle Q’s neck and comb through his dark curls. Q slid his hands down to Bond’s chest, gently holding on to his shirt as he kissed him.   
“Q,” James murmured against his lips, twisting his mouth down to Q’s neck and biting at his clavicles. “God,” he slurred, sucking and nibbling a mark just under Q’s clavicle. Q moved his hands up to run them through the agent’s hair, gasping softly every time teeth came in contact with his skin.  
James pinched Q’s skin between his teeth as a slow moan slipped out, the feeling of Q’s fingernails scraping his scalp sending sensation through his whole body. He moved back up to Q’s lips, slipping his hand up to stroke Q’s chest. Q sucked in a breath as James kissed him again and tugged on his short blond hair, moaning his name softly against his lips.  
James growled, dragging his hands down to Q’s hips and picking him up. He pulled Q’s legs to wrap around his hips as he turned, walking them toward the hall and stopping to push Q up against the wall. Q held on tightly and let out a soft grunt as he was pushed back against the wall, their lips never parting.  
The agent felt fever hot, unable to move from Q’s lips and skin as he bit and licked and sucked. He finally pulled them away from the wall and steadily walked them toward Q’s bedroom. Q held on tightly, running his fingers through Bond’s hair as he kissed him hungrily, thankful for the distraction from his own mind.  
James walked until his legs hit the bed and knelt forward, depositing Q gently on the bed. Leaning back, he looked down at his Quartermaster, taking in his flushed skin and lidded eyes. He drew his hands up from Q’s hips to his knees, pushing them slowly out and down, spreading the younger man before him. “God, you’re so lovely,” he murmured as he leaned down to kiss him again, mouthing along Q’s jaw until he can whisper, “Is this okay?” He plucked at the first button of Q’s shirt. “We don’t have to go farther than this if you’re not comfortable.”  
“I…” Q bit his lip softly, unsure. He took a moment to think it over before nodding his head a bit. He just wanted to forget, even if he remembered everything that had happened all over again afterward. He needed to forget. “Yeah… Yeah, it’s okay.”  
Bond slipped the button out, moving down to the next. “You’re sure?”  
Q nodded as he let out a shaky breath. “Please, James…”  
James parted Q’s shirt and mouthed at the patch of skin revealed, his fingers at the next button. “And now?” He glanced up at him, biting down.  
Q nodded and stared up at the ceiling. He bit his lip softly and silently prayed that this would work.  
Bond placed his fingers on the next button, but deviated, smoothing Q’s shirt to the side so he can lick and suck at his nipple. “Okay?”  
Q gasped softly and reached down to run his fingers through the agent’s hair. “God, yes…”  
Q’s fingers in his hair sent shivers through Bond’s body and he bit down on Q’s nipple, pinching it between his teeth. His fingers move to undo the button and he paused again, letting go of Q’s nipple to move to the other, thumbing over the first. “More?”  
The Quartermaster’s eyes fluttered to a close as he let out a soft, breathy moan, nodding his head eagerly. “Please… James…”  
James finally got to the last button, undoing it and spreading Q’s shirt wide. He slipped it off the younger man’s shoulders and pushed it down his arms a bit, leaving it there. It’s positioning acted as a bind, not allowing Q to move his arms much. “Comfortable?” Bond asked, running his hands up Q’s chest to pinch his nipples and back down to his knees to gently spread his legs more.  
“As comfortable as I can be with my arms like this,” Q replied, starting to sound like himself again as he leaned up a bit to look at the older man.  
James smirked, arranging the pillows behind Q to make it more comfortable for him to see. Leaning back again, the agent slowly trailed his fingers down Q’s chest, making sure to swipe over his nipples again. When his fingers reached the waistline of Q’s trousers, he paused, rubbing circles into the ridges of his hips. “And is this okay?” He asked, looking down at Q as he moved his hand to press on the zipper.  
Q sucked in a breath as he looked up at James, biting his lip softly and nodding. He struggled a bit, trying to free his arms.  
James brought his head down to mouth at Q’s hip, fingers working quickly at his fly. “Lift for me,” he whispered into Q’s skin before slowly working Q’s trousers down his legs. He slipped them off and slowly started to move back up, stopping to nibble gently at the inside of Q’s knee and mouthing at the sensitive skin of his inner thighs. “Oh, look at you,” James sighed, tugging the back of Q’s shirt up to restrict him further.  
Q gasped softly at all of Bond’s little nips and touches, whimpering quietly as he forced himself to stay still. He wanted to touch him, to run his fingers through Bond’s hair and over his tanned skin, but he couldn’t move.  
James grinned as he saw Q’s struggles. “Do you want me to let you have your arms back, baby?” He crooned up at him, his fingers hooking into the elastic of Q’s boxers and tugging down a bit as he pressed his nose into the crease between Q’s leg and groin.  
Q let out a shaky breath as he looked down to watch him. It took all he had not to move at all.  
Feeling Q’s eyes on him, James made eye contact, slowly turning his head to mouth along the straining fabric. “What do you want, love?”  
“I want you to let my arms loose so I can touch you.” His voice came out much stronger than he felt.  
James smiled, leaning up to release Q’s arms before unbuttoning his own shirt quickly and tossing it to the side, sliding back between Q’s legs. He slid his hands underneath Q’s thighs and around to the elastic of his boxers, pulling them down over the curve of Q’s arse. Q lifted his hips to help him, focusing on keeping his breathing even. James teased Q’s boxers off the rest of the way, tossing them aside. He grinned up at him, sliding down to hover over his groin. Keeping their eyes locked, James licked from the base of Q’s cock to the tip, slipping just the head into his mouth.  
“O-Oh…” Q closed his eyes for a moment as he threaded his fingers through Bond’s hair, tugging on it lightly. He bit his lip and opened his eyes again to watch him.  
Making sure he had Q’s attention, James flicked his tongue over the head, sucking intently. He bobbed his head a few times, sliding down farther each time. When the head of Q’s cock hit the back of his throat, James angled his head and bore down, suddenly swallowing down the last inch. He held there, holding Q’s gaze.  
Q bit his lip harshly and tilted his head back as he let out a low groan, gripping Bond’s hair tighter in his fist. He slowly began to rock his hips into the agent’s mouth. The agent moaned at the feeling, tightening his lips and relaxing his throat around him as he sucked, closed his eyes at the sensation.   
Soft moans escaped from Q’s lips as he squeezed his eyes shut, moving his hips a bit faster. His lips parted as he began to breathe erratically. James could feeling tears starting to leak from the corners of his eyes, gasping in air every time Q pulled out far enough. He watched the muscles of Q’s abdominals twitch and he moved his hand between Q’s legs, stroking his perineum and fondling the balls drawn tight to Q’s body. He stroked his other hand up Q’s stomach and chest to find and pinch at his nipple. Q arched up into his touch, gasping and moaning loudly as he harshly tugged on Bond’s hair some more.  
James moaned around his mouthful as best as he could as Q pushed his head down once more, holding him there. He could feel his lungs aching in protest, but didn’t struggle, looking up at Q the best he could. Q’s eyes shot open as he released into Bond’s mouth, moaning loudly.  
Bond swallowed around him as Q came, trying to push against Q’s hands now, needing to breathe. He could feel Q pulse again, teased out from Bond’s struggles, then pulled off, gasping as he was released.  
Q felt the tension leave his body as he laid back on the bed, panting softly. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting his breathing slow. Finally, he leaned up on his elbows to look down at James, whose head was laying on his stomach.  
James breathed shallowly, his throat sore and saliva and cum smeared across his lips and chin. He could feel arousal settled low in his belly, but ignored it, looking up to Q and licking his bruised lips.  
Q gently ran his fingers through the agent’s hair, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. “Roll over,” he told him softly.  
James pushed himself over, laying flat on his back, open and ready for Q’s next order. He could feel his erection straining in his trousers. He sighed almost silently as Q moved to straddle his hips, leaning down to kiss him, then undoing the fastenings Bond’s trousers. James groaned softly as the pressure was released finally, thrusting and grinding his hips slightly as he looked for any sort of contact.  
“Shh…” Q massaged his hips gently before leaning up a bit to pull down the agent’s trousers and briefs.  
James lifted his hips, eyes squeezing shut as he tried not to whine at the sight of Q watching him while he was writhing and wanting like this. Q pulled the garments off completely and leaned down to kiss him again, wrapping his hand around Bond’s cock and stroking him gently.  
James gasped and bucked up into his Quartermaster’s hand at the sensation. “Oh, god, please. Q, /please/,” he whimpered, clenching his jaw and throwing his head back.  
Q kissed down along the agent’s jaw to his neck, nipping and sucking gently at his skin as James turned to give him more room. “Q, I- Ah!” He pulled Q’s hand up to his mouth, quickly and thoroughly wetting it before pushing it back down to his cock, gasping at the slick feeling. “Yesyesyes! Yes, /god, Q/.”  
James breathed harshly through his nose, trying to control his volume. But, as Q added a twist around the head of his cock to each stroke, he mewled loudly, arching his back. Q ran his free hand over Bond’s chest, gently playing with his nipple as he stroked him faster. James bucked up into his fist, unable to stop.” Ah, ah, ah, ah!” He panted as he pulled Q’s head back down, wanting to feel his Quartermaster’s lips against his own.  
Q pressed his lips to the older man’s in a passionate kiss, nipping lightly at his lips as he continued to stroke him. James gasped into his mouth, his hips continuing to buck forward as he came, breath hitching. His eyes were glazed as he brought his arms up to pull Q to him, turning them both onto their sides. He loosely kissed Q, satisfaction ebbing through his body.  
Q curled up against him and buried his face in the agent’s neck, not caring about the mess between them. He wrapped his arms around James tightly, just wanting to be close to him.  
James slowly caught his breath, pushing light kisses into Q’s hair. He let his eyes slip shut, knowing they needed to clean up or they’d regret it in the morning. But he didn’t want to move, comfortable in Q’s arms.  
Q closed his eyes and pressed light kisses to Bond’s neck before rolling over to reach into the bedside drawer for some tissues to clean them up. Once they were clean, James moved up on the bed, pulling Q with him til they’re up on the pillows. He laid on his back, half asleep already as he felt Q curl up into his side with his head on the agent’s chest. He gently kissed his curls with a soft sigh of content.  
Q gently laid his hand on Bond’s chest, tracing all the little scars as he bit his lip softly. “So, when do we leave tomorrow?”  
“The train leaves at ten,” he mumbled into Q’s hair.  
Q nodded and kissed Bond’s chest gently as he closed his eyes, draping his leg over the agent’s. James smiled at the soft kiss and let his eyes close again as the two of them drifted off to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

James awoke as the room brightened, the clock on the bedside table reading eight o’clock. He looked down at Q, where he had rolled so his head was on the agent’s chest but his body was turned perpendicular to his. James smiled down at him and grabbed a pillow, moving smoothly from beneath Q’s sleeping form and placing the pillow beneath his head before going to take a shower.  
Q frowned in his sleep at Bond’s absence with furrowed brows and hugged the pillow close. He buried his face into the pillow, subconsciously wishing it was James.  
Finishing his shower, James went to see what Q had in the kitchen, quickly finding enough for French toast before starting the coffee.   
Q awoke to the smell of coffee and got up, pulling on his robe before tying it around his waist. He wandered out to the kitchen, smiling softly when he saw the older man. He went over to him and carefully wrapped his arms around the agent’s waist from behind, laying his head against Bond’s back.  
James looked up from where he was waiting for the toast to brown, placing his hands on top of Q’s and looking back at him. “Morning, sleepyhead,” he murmured, turning to press a kiss to Q’s forehead, smiling.  
“Morning…” He looked up at him with a smile, yawning. “French toast?”  
James hummed in affirmation, flipping the bread and turning off the stove. He twisted around to face Q, cradling him in his arms.  
Q smiled and leaned up to kiss Bond’s chin. “Do I have time to shower, or should I wait?”  
“You have time,” James replied as he leaned back and turned the stove back on, making sure he was keeping half a thought on not burning the food. “I still have a few more pieces to make.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to Q’s lips.  
Q smiled against his lips before pulling back with a nod. “Okay. I won’t be long.”  
James turned back to the food as Q left. Checking the time, he made a note of when they would have to leave in order to catch the train and finished making their breakfast. He set it aside and moved to wash everything he had used to cook that morning.  
Q kissed Bond’s cheek when he returned, the agent leaning into him for a second before moving to get plates. “Ready to eat?” He handed the plates to Q and brought the food to the table before going back to get them both some coffee.  
Q sat down at the table and took a piece of French toast. James sat across from him and handed him a mug, smiling softly as their fingers touched, before filling his plate and pouring some syrup over it. Q smiled back as he dipped his piece into his coffee and took a bite. Bond wrinkled his nose at this, but was glad to see the Quartermaster so relaxed.  
Q smiled at him softly as he continued to eat. “So, do I get any hints as to where we’re going?”  
James looked up, casting for something to say. “It’s… Somewhere you’ve mentioned to me before that you wanted to visit.”  
Q furrowed his brows, unsure of what he meant. “And I suppose you won’t give me any more than that?”  
Bond grinned at him. “Where would be the fun in that?” He glanced at the clock, finishing his food quickly. “We should leave soon.”  
Q nodded and took the last bite of his food, downing the rest of his coffee before refilling the cats’ bowls. Bond’s eyes widened suddenly. “What about your cats? Do you have someone to take care of them?”  
“Eve said she’d take care of them,” Q replied with a shrug before going to fetch his bag.  
James nodded and checked his duffle, making sure he had everything he needed. He then waited for Q to return and pulled his shoes on.  
Q returned with his bag and a small smile, but soon furrowed his brows. “We’re not flying, are we?”  
James bit his lip for a second, not responding in order to tease him, but shook his head. “No, we’ll go by train.” He opened the door for Q and snuck a peek at the papers Moneypenny had given him to see what kind of car they would be driving. “At least, at first.”  
Q locked the door behind them and shuddered a bit. “Your driving is almost as bad as flying.”  
They stepped onto the street and Bond hailed a cab, excited already. “I’ll take it slow for you, hmm?” He winked at Q.  
“Please do,” Q said as a cab pulled over in front of them and he got in.  
Getting in as well, James asked the driver to take them to the train station before leaning over to sling an arm around Q’s shoulders. “I really don’t understand why you’re afraid of my driving. I’m always in control. You should ride with Alec sometime. His method of driving is causing chaos for kicks mostly.” He threw the driver a couple of bills when they arrived and got out of the car, pulling Q with him. “Can you grab something for us to snack on? It’s a good six hours there. I’ll deal with the tickets.”  
Q nodded his head and reached over to give the agent’s hand a light squeeze before heading off to find some food. He knew that James was trying to hide their destination from him, but he was determined to figure it out.  
Bond got their tickets and moved to find the Quartermaster, pulling up a video on his phone as he did. He pulled out some headphones for Q as he approached. “Here, someone actually got footage of his driving. There’s this part at 3:47 where he flips his car in order to turn.” He smoothly transferred what Q was holding into his arms as he handed him his phone and led him onto the train and into a compartment. He put their luggage up and sat down, closing the door.  
Q took a seat as he watched the video. “Why hasn’t this been deleted? Why wasn’t I informed of this? This could be used against him. He could get into a lot of trouble.”  
James smirked at him. “The only reason you’re freaking out is because I told you it was him. Look at the title. The person calls him a stunt driver. And you can’t see him through the windows of the car that /you/ designed for just that purpose. Don’t worry about it. It’s been up for ages. Those plates are untraceable, as is regulation. Alec just likes to use the safeguards to have a little more fun.”  
“Well, I’m informing M of this as soon as we get back. He can’t be using my equipment recreationally like that.” He handed the phone back to James.  
“Maybe I shouldn’t have told you,” the agent smirked. “He’s going to be pissed with me now. I’m pretty sure that M already knows, though. There was a while that is circulated through the desk workers, and I know Moneypenny has seen it.” He leaned back in his seat, looking out the window as they left the city behind. “We’re lucky today, it’s beautiful. I hope the sun will stay out.”  
Q nodded with a small smile as he gazed out the window as well. “Yeah, everyone’s always in a better mood when the sun’s out… Especially my parents,” he said as he glanced at James out of the corner of his eye.  
“Your parents? You haven’t told me much about them,” he turned to look at Q. “Did your family do a lot during the summer?” He asked nonchalantly.  
Q crossed his arms as he raised a brow at the agent, glaring. “Bond, I’m not an idiot. I know where we’re going and I’m not happy about it… I mean, I am, but I don’t agree with it”  
James blinked at him slowly, debating whether or not to give in, but deciding it wasn’t worth the tease. “How’d you figure it out?” He tilted his head to the side. “I know it will be hard, but you need them right now. Moneypenny got everything set up so we’re not endangering them at all. I know it will be hard to move past some things, but you need this. At least admit that.”  
“It’s been six years, James. I can’t just show up after six years and expect everything to be okay, especially after leaving the way I did. I left without any warning. There’s no way they’re going to be okay with that.”  
James moved over to Q’s seat, pulling him into his arms to try to help soothe him. “Q, they’re your family and they love you. Even if you killed someone, they’d forgive you. They’ve probably been missing you and worried about you all this time. They might scold you at first, but they’re going to be just as happy to see you as you’re going to be to see them.”  
Q let out a shaky breath and leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. “Oh, god. I… I can’t believe I did that to them.”  
“Hey, it’s okay. Shh…” James rocked him slightly, pulling him in closer. “They don’t know it, but it’’s been keeping them safe. When you see them, and when they see you, they will know that you didn’t do it to them on purpose. They will forgive you.”  
The Quartermaster let out a shaky sigh and nodded a bit, pulling away to rub his eyes. “I wish I could’ve at least had some more time to heal before coming. I look like shit… Mum’s going to cry when she sees.”  
James frowned, lightly smoothing his hands over Q’s bruises. “I’ll make sure she knows that they’re a mark of how strong you are. And also that the people who did this to you have been.. Dealt with.” He smiled harshly. “She doesn’t need the details.”  
Q pulled away from Bond’s touch and turned to watch out the window, biting his lips softly. James let him go, watching him for a moment, uncertainly. He didn’t know how to comfort Q, but he knew that he needed this trip. Once they got there, Q would stop worrying and feel better. At least they weren’t flying. James moved back over to his seat and checked the time. They had a few hours left and he pulled out their food. “Snack?” He asked, trying to distract Q.  
Q didn’t respond as he continued to stare out the window, his brows furrowed in deep thought. There was so much going through his mind that he couldn’t pay attention to much else.  
James moved forward until he was on the edge of his seat and nudged his legs between Q’s, getting closer. He took Q’s hands into his own, rubbing little circles with his thumbs. “Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you,” he sang. “Tomorrow I’ll miss you. Remember I’ll always be true. And then while I’m away, I’ll write home everyday. And I’ll send all my lovin’ to you…” He gently tugged him forwards.  
Q looked up at him with furrowed brows when he took his hands and swallowed thickly. He carefully moved forward and sat in Bond’s lap when he pulled him closer, laying his head against the agent’s shoulder.  
James wrapped his arms around him, snagging his jacket from next to drape it over Q’s shoulders. He could feel Q relaxing against him and was relieved he had gotten him to stop thinking, at least for the moment. “Get some rest, babe.”  
Q buried his face in Bond’s neck as he curled up against him some more. He rubbed his eyes as he nodded a bit in response, closing them finally.  
James hummed quietly for a while longer, feeling Q’s breaths even out, then moved one arm out gently to set an alarm on his phone to wake them when they arrived at the station. He allowed his eyes to close and drifted off as well.


	17. Chapter 17

Q held onto the agent as he slept against him, waking when the alarm went off. He sat up straight and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before pecking Bond’s lips gently to wake him.  
James slowly blinked his eyes open, smiling when Q was the first thing he saw. “Hey,” he whispered, leaning forward to kiss his Quartermaster. Q smiled softly against his lips before getting up to grab his bag.  
Bond stood and stretched before grabbing his duffle and picking up anything else they had. He sat once more and waited until the train came to a stop, then walked off with Q. He grabbed his paper out of his duffle as they went to find the car rental booth.  
Q followed James closely, looking around. It had been so long since he had been there last, but everything looked the same. It was almost as if no time had passed at all.  
James gave the woman at the counter his papers and showed her the keys before following her to their car. “You want to drive?” He asked Q and then squinted at him. “Can you drive?”  
“Of course I can drive,” he replied with a roll of his eyes, taking the keys. “I’m twenty-seven, not seventeen.”  
“Yeah, but twenty-seven and from London? That doesn’t say much.” James shrugged. “There’s the tube for a reason.” He slid their things into the backseat before getting into the passenger’s side. “Impress me, then, hmm?” He smirked. Q rolled his eyes at him as he got in and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the main road.  
James smiled as he watched the world go by around them. It had been a while since he had been around that area. He glanced at Q, wondering if he knew anything about his past in the area. He probably did after Skyfall, but James wasn’t going to bring it up. He glanced at his watch. “Right on schedule. We should get there on time as long as you don’t slow us down with your grandma driving.”  
“Hey, you’re the old one, remember?” Q raised a brow at James and continued driving, gripping the steering wheel tightly as he grew more and more nervous.  
James scoffed at the comment. “I’m still kicking your arse. Don’t think that age is an indicator I’d ever slow down.” He noticed Q’s clenched fingers and rested a hand on his for a second. “We’re not trying to strangle the car. It’s our friend, not the enemy.”  
Q rolled his eyes and batted Bond’s hand away, mumbling, “I’m fine.” He kept his eyes on the road and kept driving.  
They went around the corner and saw the house coming up. The front door was open and they could see a group of people sitting and standing on the porch, obviously talking and laughing. James looked over at Q as they pulled up. The Quartermaster looked sick and James took his hand in silent support. “Ready?”  
Q parked the car in the driveway and stared at his family until they noticed them. “Oh, god…” He ran his fingers through his hair. “And of course Callum’s here, too,” he grumbled softly to himself.  
James scrutinized the group. “Would Callum be the ginger?”  
“Yeah,” Q sighed. “He’s my sister’s boyfriend, who I happened to have a huge crush on when we were in school.”  
Bond raised his brows. “He seems like a nice lad. Let’s go meet him, yes?” He opened the door, getting out of the car before looking back in at Q. “Don’t make me drag you. You know I will,” he smirked.  
Q glared at him before grabbing his bag out of the back and getting out of the car. He took a shaky breath as he stared ahead at his family.  
James ducked into the back of the car and grabbed his duffle before closing the door and coming up beside Q, grabbing his hand casually. “Come on. You’ve got to introduce me.”  
“Oh, joy,” Q replied dryly. “This is my boyfriend. He’s nearly twice my age and kills people for a living.”  
James chuckled and pulled on Q’s arm starting to tow him toward the group. “Yeah, and you help. You also help run the world’s most dangerous spy agency. This is going to be a fun week.” He smirked.  
“We never did talk about a cover story,” Q grumbled softly as he pulled his arm away from James and went right into the house. He went back to his old bedroom and dropped his bag, not bothering to stop and say hi just yet.  
James blinked after Q, surprised by his actions, but carried on gamely. He walked up to Q’s family, extended his hand to Q’s father, who had stepped forward. “Hello, I’m James. It’s a pleasure to-” James stopped suddenly as Q’s father’s grip tightened and he swung at him. The agent ducked the punch on instinct, deftly grabbing Q’s father’s arm and twisting it behind his back, trying to me gentle. “Ah. It’s nice to meet you.”  
Q stepped back out onto the porch and froze when he saw the agent holding his dad. “Fucking hell, James! Let him go!” He rubbed his forehead, sighing in exasperation. “God, I can’t leave you alone for two minutes without you getting into a fight.”  
Bond slowly let go, quickly taking a step back. “It’s all fine. We’re just getting to know each other. Why don’t you introduce me, see if that goes over better?”  
Q rolled his eyes at him with a sigh. “James, Mum and Dad… Mum and Dad, James.”  
James cautiously stepped forward again, this time offering his hand to Q’s mum. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs?” James watched Q’s dad out of the corner of his eye, slightly alarmed. He didn’t think this was how meeting the parents was supposed to go and he was suddenly worried at how the rest of the week would go.  
“Tyler,” Q told him, watching his mum as she turned her gaze to him. James dropped his hand and moved to the side as she walked past him and went over to Q, carefully reaching out to place her hand on Q’s bruised cheek, but Q flinched away from her touch. He hated that she had to see him like this.  
James watched carefully as she approached Q, making sure that he was alright before moving on to give them some privacy. “You must be Margaret and Callum,” he said as he shook Callum’s hand before kissing Margaret’s. “So nice to meet you.” He tried not to glance back at Q.  
Q bit his lip softly and looked away as his mum brushed his hair away from his face. He could feel the sting of tears in his eyes. He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath before stepping forward to hug her tightly, crying softly into her shoulder. He pulled away from his mum after a short while, wiping his eyes as he murmured apologies. His dad pulled him in for a brief hug as well while Q glanced over at James.  
Meanwhile, Q’s sister corrected James, telling him to call her Maggie instead. James nodded, trying to pay attention before breaking. He turned to look at Q, their eyes connecting. “Okay?” He mouthed to him silently, holding his gaze. Q sniffled softly as he pulled away from his dad and wiped his eyes.  
James winced and turned back to Maggie. She looked him over, then said straightforwardly, “You really care about him, then?”  
He looked her in the eye. “More than I have ever cared for someone in my life.”  
She nodded. “So, when did you two meet?”  
“A few years ago,” James offered. “It was during a time of stress for our company and we bonded over the shared adversity. Normally we wouldn’t have met because I’m what amounts to a traveling salesman, but we shared a project and fell in together as friends rather easily.”  
Maggie nodded again as she looked over Bond’s shoulder at Q. James followed her gaze before turning back to her and Callum. “It looks like they’re done. Would you like to go join them?” The two nodded and James went to stand next to Q, wrapping an arm around his waist as he leaned in to murmur in his ear. “Feeling better?”  
Q nodded a bit as he leaned against him, taking a deep breath before reintroducing James to his parents. “This is my boyfriend, James Bond. James, these are my parents, David and Katherine Tyler.”  
James smiled at Q’s parents. “I like your introduction, but I do think mine was more of a /hit/.” He kept a straight face as he heard Maggie start to laugh somewhere behind him. Q nudged him in the ribs with his elbow, not amused at all. James broke, grinning widely. “You don’t appreciate my humor. I’m offended,” he pouted cartoonishly.  
“Your humor is fine,” Q told him. “What I don’t appreciate is you getting in a fight with my father as soon as you walked through the door.”  
James tensed a bit. “I didn’t exactly throw the first punch, Q” He didn’t want to throw Q’s father under the bus, but he had only seen the end of the fight. He still had no idea what had provoked his father to try and deck him in the first place.  
“Dad?” Q looked over at his father with furrowed brows, confused beyond belief. “Why… Why would you do that?”  
James inhaled sharply, not expecting Q to question his father. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m sure there was just a misunderstanding.” He tried to dissolve the situation. “Let’s just put this behind us, yeah?”  
Q kept his eyes on his dad as he nodded, rubbing his face. “Okay. Yeah. You’re right.”  
James stroked Q’s back soothingly, relaxing slowly. “I’d like to take my things in. Maybe you could show me around the house, too?” Q sniffled again and nodded, taking his hand to lead him back to his old bedroom.  
The agent place his duffel on the floor near Q’s bed before turning to wrap him in a hug. “I’m sorry. I probably could have handled that better.” He gently tilted Q’s head up a bit to peck his lips. “Can you tell me about this place?”  
Q shrugged a bit as he leaned forward to rest his head on Bond’s shoulder. “What do you want to know?”  
James hummed, looking around the room. “What did you like to do as a kid?”  
“Computer work, mostly,” he replied with a shrug. “My sister and I did a lot of stuff with music.”  
James smiled at him, surprised. “Do you play an instrument?” He asked as he glanced around the room, looking for one.  
“Piano,” he nodded. “I hated it when I first started, but I learned to love it.”  
He smiled down at Q. “Will you play something for me?”  
“Maybe later,” Q replied with a shrug of his shoulders.  
“Is that a prom-” James started to answer, but stopped when Maggie suddenly barged into the room.  
Q stepped away from Bond and looked over at his sister with furrowed brows. “Maggie?”  
She closed the door behind her. “So, are you going to tell me the fucking truth? I know Mum and Dad believe your bullshit, but you can’t lie to me, /Billy/” She turned to point at James. “You aren’t a salesman. And I can’t believe you would try to lie to me.”  
“First of all,” Q raised a finger at her, “don’t call me that. Second of all, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He prayed silently that she would believe him.  
Maggie huffed out a laugh. “You’re kidding, right? You have the flimsiest story I’ve ever heard! You’re trying to tell me that you took some nine to five /desk job/? And you left us for six years with no notice, I’ll call you whatever I want! Tell me the truth.”  
Q sighed softly, knowing he couldn’t hide the truth from her forever. “Fine...I’m the head of MI6’s tech department and he’s a field agent. Please don’t tell Mum and Dad.”  
Maggie blinked at him. “You’re… Oh, my god, you’re spies?!” A bewildered laugh burst from her lips. “That’s so… Wow, that’s insane! I can’t believe you were going to hide this from me!” She hugged Q, surprising both him and James. “I’m so proud of you!”  
Q smiled a bit as he returned her embrace, surprised that she took it so well. “Just promise that you won’t tell Mum and Dad. It’s bad enough that you know. I can’t put them in danger, too.”  
She shook her head. “Of course I won’t tell them, you dolt. I’m almost offended that you don’t trust me, but I can see why you’re so paranoid. Also,” she lowered her voice so James almost couldn’t hear. “Congratulations on him. A field agent? Nice.”  
Q bit his lip at her words, his face heating up as he glanced back at James. There was a knock at the door and he looked up to see his mum. “Dinner’s ready,” she told them and Q reached over for Bond’s hand before leading him out of the room.  
James followed Q quietly, letting him lead while he looked over the rest of the house. He pulled out a chair for Q and sat, filling his plate as he listened to the conversations going on around him. Suddenly, Q’s mum spoke up, drawing everyone’s attention. “So, Will, how did you meet James? He seems… Well, that is,” she spluttered momentarily, flustered. “Mature?”   
Bond raised his brows, leaning back in his chair. “Huh,” he muttered, not taking his eyes off of her. She wouldn’t make eyes contact with him.  
Q nearly choked on his food when his mum had finished her sentence. Coughing softly, he took Bond’s hand, more to keep him from doing something stupid than anything. “Mum!” He scolded her softly before clearing his throat to answer her question. “We met at work.”  
James let Q take his hand and slid his chair closer to him, never looking away from Q’s mum. When she still wouldn’t look at him, he held his position and switched to eating with his left hand.  
Q glared at her some more as his dad began to speak. “He just doesn’t really seem to be your type,” he said nonchalantly.  
Q turned his head to him with an exasperated sigh. “First of all, he’s sitting /right next to me/. Second, what do you mean, he’s not my type?”  
His father cleared his throat. “Where did all those bruises come from?”  
Q stared at his dad. He couldn’t believe what he was implying. “I… I…”  
James interrupted, his low voice cutting smoothly across everything. “Those bruises are reminders of his bravery in the face of terrorism. He was kidnapped by a group that wished to know secrets about our company and he did not break.” He turned to Q, slowly placing his hand on the side of his face. “I brought him here to heal from the experience, but maybe that wasn’t as much of a good idea as I thought.” He turned toward Q’s parents. “Whatever you think of me, I don’t care, but I will not stand for you dismissing Q’s strength.” He’s furious, but keeps a calm facade.  
Q bit his lip, clenching his fists as everyone at the table remained quiet. He feel all of their eyes on him as his hands shook and he struggled to keep his composure. He closed his eyes as he took in a shaky breath. “I…” He didn’t finish his sentence as he stood abruptly and left the table, going outside for some air.  
James stood with Q, but hesitated, not sure whether to follow or not. “Stay,” came a low voice from across the table. Bond looked over to see Callum standing and making his way around the table. “I’ve got it.” James sat slowly as he watched him go.  
Q sat on a swing in the backyard, trying to stay calm. He couldn’t believe what had happened and all he wanted now was a cigarette. Unfortunately, he had left his pack in his bedroom. He wasn’t surprised when Callum sat on the swing next to him. Q stayed quiet a moment longer before letting out a sigh. “You don’t happen to have a cigarette on you, do you?”  
Callum chuckled softly and patted his jacket before pulling a pack out of his pocket. “I thought you quit?” He asked, taking one out for himself as well. Taking out a light, he held it out for Q, leaning in close.  
Q put the cigarette in his mouth and leaned in toward the flame to light it before pulling back and taking a long drag. “I indulge once in awhile when I can’t calm myself.”  
Callum huffed out a cloud of smoke in a laugh. “Now is a particularly good excuse for one, I think.” He took a drag. “Your Bond, seems a nice fellow. Seems to care for you quite a lot.”  
“Yeah,” Q nodded with a slight smile. “I owe him a lot. I mean, I’d literally be dead if it weren’t for him.”  
Callum turned to him, eyebrows raised. “This sounds like an interesting story. Does it have something to do with that terrorist bit he mentioned?”  
The Quartermaster nodded as he exhaled a cloud of smoke. “Yeah… He saved me and he’s hardly left my side since.”  
Callum narrowed his eyes, blowing smoke up at the night sky. “Seems like something the authorities would be more a part of then a salesman,” he mused. “So, he saved you, brought you to a stressful home, and won’t leave your side. Do you feel it’s too much? Do you want to ask him to give you some space? And before you answer that, consider if you are ready and willing to commit to it.”  
Q shook his head at him a bit. “I mean, it can be a little overwhelming at times, but… I feel safe with him. That’s what I need most right now. And he puts up with all of my emotional outbursts without question… He knows what I need before I do.”  
“He sounds like you made him online in one of your computer games,” Callum smiled. “Did you wish really hard?”  
Q smiled a bit at that and shook his head. “No… I guess that’s just what happens after being in each other’s head for six years.”  
Callum made a face, picking apart another part of the story they had told them. “So, what’s an online security head doing working closely with a travelling salesman?” He smirked at him. “You don’t have to tell me the truth, but you can at least drop that rag.”  
“All I can tell you is that we work for the government.” Q took another long drag from his cigarette, the nicotine calming his nerves.  
Callum shook his head, marvelling at how the lad he had known from school had grown into the man sat next to him now.


	18. Chapter 18

The table was silent for a good minute after Q and Callum left and Bond went back to eating. “The food is delicious, Mr. and Mrs. Tyler.”  
Maggie suppressed a laugh as her mother stared out in Q’s general direction. “How long has he been like this?”  
James clenched his fist under the table. “Ever since he was kidnapped. But he’s gotten better. The group that did this to him was… Taken care of. So, he’s no longer in danger. But he’s only just started to act like himself again and I don’t think he’ll be better until the bruises fade.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve just tried to be there for him as much as I can, and I think it’s been helping.”  
Q’s mum nodded as she struggled to hold back tears at the thought of what her son had been through. Her husband took her hand in an attempt to comfort her before addressing Bond. “So, um… The age difference doesn’t bother you?”  
James blinked at him, nonplused. “No, it doesn’t. When I first met him, it was a bit of a shock. He was replacing someone that had been with the company for a number of years who I had worked with as well. But once he took the spot and became head of the department, he gained everyone’s respect very quickly. You would be very proud of the work he’s done.”  
Q’s father nodded slowly. “I, uh… I suppose I owe you an apology as well.”  
James nodded quickly. “I accept your apology. I wish it hadn’t been an issue, but I understand your reaction.” He fidgeted, glancing towards the door through which Q had disappeared.  
“You could probably go see him now, if you want,” Maggie said to him. “They’ve got to be done talking it out by now.”  
James nodded to her, standing quickly. “Excuse me.” He left the table, slipping out the back door and leaning back against it for a moment as he let his eyes adjust to the darkness. He strolled over to the swings slowly.  
Q looked up when he heard the door open and smiled when he saw him. “Hey.”  
James leaned down and kissed the top of Q’s head. “Feeling better?” He watched as Q brought the cigarette up to his mouth and cursed internally.  
Q nodded as he exhaled a cloud of smoke. “Yeah… This helps.”  
The agent cleared his throat and turned away, forcing himself to stop watching the smoke slickly falling from Q’s lips. “Your father apologized. We talked, so hopefully there won’t be any more issues there.” He mistakenly looked down at Q, now captivated by the way his jaw works when he takes a drag and how pale his skin looks in the moonlight. Bond swallowed roughly and looked up at the sky.  
Q watched him closely as Callum finished off his cigarette and headed back inside. “You alright?”  
James cleared his throat. “Fine,” he said roughly, shifting and rolling his shoulders a bit as he tried to calm down, but the smoke pervades the air around him. He tugged a bit at his collar, feeling overheated.  
Q watched him closely, a bit worried as he finished off the cigarette. “Are you sure? You don’t seem alright.”  
Bond shuddered, the night air suddenly feeling chilly. “I… I don’t know. I feel.. Hot. Tight.”  
Q dropped the cigarette in the dirt and stomped it out before standing and looking at James, his brows furrowed. He gently placed a hand on Bond’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever… What’s going on?”  
The agent closed his eyes and pressed into Q’s hand. “I feel like I’m on a mission, but I don’t know why.” He opened his eyes, frustrated.  
Q frowned and carefully wrapped his arms around Bond’s waist. “You’re here with me. We’re both safe.”  
James pressed his face into Q’s neck and inhaled, then paused. He pressed a kiss to the crook of Q’s neck, then another a little higher up. “Tonight was stressful. I missed this. Maybe that’s it, residual adrenaline?”  
Q nodded his head a bit as he held onto him, rubbing his back gently. “It should be easier from here. Hopefully my dad won’t try to punch you again.”  
Bond shook his head. “I don’t think he’ll try that again. It didn’t have a very good outcome for him the first time,” he smirked.  
“Great first impression, by the way.” Q pulled back a bit to look up at him.  
“It wasn’t my fault, he just up and swung at me! I was only trying to introduce myself. And I was very gentle, really.”  
“I’m sure you were,” Q chuckled as he took his hand and led him inside.  
James followed behind him, pretending to grump, but he really just glad that Q was laughing again. He smiled when Q looked back at him as they entered the house. The table had been cleaned up and everyone sat in the living room. James continued to follow as Q led him over to the open loveseat, putting his arm around the Quartermaster as they sat. He quietly listened to the conversations around them, letting it become background noise. He smiled down at Q, loving having him in his arms. He looked around the room casually, suddenly spying something. “Hey, Q? Didn’t you say you’d play me something?” James smirked at the baby grand in the corner of the room as everyone started agreeing with him. He could /feel/ Q’s glare on the side on his face.  
Q continued to glare at him a moment longer before standing up and muttering, “I hate you…” He sighed softly as he went over to the piano and took a seat on the bench.  
“No, you don’t,” James sand at Q’s retreating figure before standing to follow, leaning against the wall next to him.  
Q took a deep breath as he placed his hands on the keys, feeling even more self-conscious with Bond standing over him. After a moment, he began to play, and then to sing. “I’m a goner, somebody catch my breath. I’m a goner, somebody catch my breath. I wanna be known by you…”  
James blinked, completely thrown. Q’s nimble fingers danced across the keys, playing a song that the agent didn’t know, hadn’t expected. Q’s voice was strong and sad, and James watched him, completely mesmerized as he carefully listened to the lyrics.  
“Though I’m weak and beaten down, I’ll slip away into the sound. The ghost of you is close to me. I’m inside out. You’re underneath.” Q continued playing through the song until he finally reached the last chord. He placed his hands on his knees and stared down at the ivory keys, nervous about what the agent thought.  
James couldn’t move for a second, then sat next to Q on the bench. He pulled him into his arms and pressed a kiss into his curls. “That was beautiful,” he said, then murmured into Q’s ear. “You’re not gone and and you’ll never be gone. I /know/ you.”   
Q sighed softly as he leaned against James for a moment before pulling away. He stood up and went back to his bedroom, not wanting to deal with his emotions.  
Bond stared after him, still a bit dazed, then was interrupted. “Well, we’re going to start getting ready for bed, then,” Q’s mum said.   
Maggie and Callum got up, too, and James followed their lead, going up to Q’s room. He knocked lightly on the frame and pushed the door open, finding Q sitting on the bed. He stepped in, shutting the door behind him. “Looks like it’s bedtime.”  
“Feels like it, too,” Q nodded as he rubbed his eyes gently, suppressing a yawn. He was so emotionally exhausted. He began to unbutton his cardigan before starting on the buttons of his shirt.  
James joined him in getting ready, making quick work of his shirt and trousers. He then searched through his duffel for the pyjamas he had brought.  
Q finished getting ready just as there was a knock at the door. He glanced over at James, making sure he was decent before opening the door to find his parents. He spoke to them softly before closing the door again with a sigh.  
James looked through his travel bag until he heard the door close. He looked up at Q with a sigh. “What’s up?”  
“Mum and Dad would prefer if you slept on the couch,” he sighed. “It’s nothing personal, it’s just… They’re… Traditional.”  
James frowned and pursed his lips, thinking of bringing up the fact that Maggie and Callum were definitely sharing a bed tonight. He shook his head. “Fine,” he sighed and went over to Q, wrapping his arms around him tightly. “Do I at least get a goodnight kiss?”  
Q smiled a bit and placed his hands on Bond’s chest with a nod. “Well, I suppose.”  
The agent leaned in, kissing him thoroughly. “Sweet dreams, baby. I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, pressing their foreheads together before pressing another kiss to Q’s lips.  
The Quartermaster nodded and forced a small smile, not looking forward to spending the night alone. “Goodnight, James.”  
He gave Q one last peck on the forehead before reluctantly walking out. Glancing to the side, he saw Q’s mum standing in the doorway of her bedroom. Probably waiting for me, he thought a tad bitterly. “Goodnight, ma’am,” he said as he walked down the stairs to the couch, finding blankets and pillows folded on top. He laid them out and sat on the couch, resigning himself to what would probably be a night with no sleep.  
Q got comfortable in bed despite the empty space next to him and closed his eyes. He hadn’t spent a night alone since he was kidnapped and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that yet.  
Bond fidgeted with his balisong, trying to relax, but he couldn’t. All he could think was that Q was somewhere else, away from him. He knew nothing could happen, but that didn’t make him feel any better.  
Q eventually managed to drift off the sleep but was awoken by a nightmare a few hours later. His body trembled as he hugged his knees to his chest, trying to stay calm. Finally, he got up and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders before wandering into the living room.  
James stared at the ceiling, not sleeping but not really aware, still flipping his knife. He jolted a bit as he saw Q, dropping the knife on the table as he stood and went over to him. “Nightmare?” He asked, carefully wrapping his arms around his Quartermaster.  
Q nodded and laid his head on Bond’s shoulder, burying his face in his neck. He gripped the agent’s shirt tightly as he was led to the couch to sit down, settling with his head on Bond’s chest.  
James began to sing to him softly. He smiled softly when he felt Q relax in his arms, continuing to sing even when his breaths evened out. He finally dozed off sometime in the early morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Q sings is Goner by Twenty One Pilots


	19. Chapter 19

“You know, when I said dance, this is not what I meant,” James said a bit sharply as he took a sip from his vodka martini.  
“Oh, come on, James! This is fun!” Q grinned at him. “I used to come here all the time when I was in school!”  
Bond debated the merits of picking up the table and using it as a shield to block the people who couldn’t seem to stop bumping against him, even though there was a whole meter of clear space on the other side of them. “Oh, it’s a blast.”  
The agent scanned over the crowded nightclub Q and Maggie had brought him to. After the awkwardness of Q’s homecoming and James’ introduction, they had decided some time to catch up and relax would be a good idea and James had agreed to the idea of going dancing. He should have known better than to assume their definitions of “dancing” lined up.   
Already a few drinks in, Maggie and Callum had disappeared to the dance floor, leaving James with a steadily-becoming-more-drunk Q. James didn’t mind as much as he was acting, though. He looked across the table at Q’s flushed cheeks and wild hair, coupled with pants that looked like they were painted on and a fitted black shirt that showed off Q’s pale skin.  
Q rolled his eyes at him as he downed the rest of his drink, revelling in the warm buzz that was coming over him. “Come on. Come on, James. Come dance with me.” He stood and took the agent’s hand.  
James resisted for a second to down the rest of his drink, knowing he might regret it, but allowed the younger man to pull him to the dancefloor. He started to relax as the alcohol pulsed through his bloodstream and he could feel the energy of the club creeping into him a bit. He allowed it, letting his body start to move in time with the ridiculous music until Q stopped and turned to him.  
Q began to dance, slightly off beat in his drunkenness but he didn’t care. He just wanted to forget all of his troubles and have a good time. He stood close to James as he danced, keeping one hand on his waist at all times so he didn’t lose him in the crowd. Q was practically grinding on him due to the amount of people in the small area.  
James moved with him, despite his disinterest in the music. He was starting to enjoy himself, but that had more to do with the way that Q was grabbing at him and rolling his hips than the atmosphere. He grabbed Q’s hips and flipped him quickly, pulling Q’s back against his front. He wrapped one arm around Q’s waist, the other smoothing over Q’s chest. “Hmm, you look delectable,” James murmured into Q’s ear so he could hear him over the music. He kissed down the side of Q’s neck, ending with a nip to the junction of his neck and shoulder.  
Q let out an obscene moan, not caring if anyone heard. He began to push his arse back against Bond’s hips more, grinding roughly against him. He slipped a hand up into the older man’s hair and gripped it tightly as he craned his neck to the side.  
James gasped at his actions, letting out an answering moan and sinking his teeth into Q’s neck, pulling him into him. “Oh, you… Oh, you fucking tease,” he gasped out, biting the lobe of Q’s ear.  
Q let out soft gasps and pants, feeling his face flush from the alcohol and arousal. “O-Oh… Oh, fuck, James… James, fuck me. Please…” Q whined softly as he began to grind back against him more.  
The agent groaned deeply, Q’s words seeming to travel straight to his cock. He quickly started to lead him off the dancefloor, finding the bathrooms and pushing Q towards them. All the while, he kept up a string of words, interspersing them with kisses and bites to Q’s neck. “God, Q, you’re driving me insane. Just look at you. You’re flushed so prettily. This is what you wanted when you brought me here, hmm? To make me crazy over you?”  
“Would you really complain if it was?” Q asked softly as he held the agent close to him, gasping and moaning softly as Bond attacked his neck.  
James chuckled darkly, shoving the door closed behind them and locking it. “No. Never. It would be a fucking crime to not want this.” He impatiently unbuttoned Q’s shirt, nearly ripping out a few, but he finally pushed it open and began mouthing and biting down to Q’s nipple. His hands were busy reaching to grab Q’s arse, the tight skinny jeans Q was wearing hardly a barrier. “You’re not wearing any pants?”James nearly whimpered, resting his forehead against Q’s chest for a moment, panting.  
Q bit his lip softly and held back a moan as he ran his fingers through Bond’s hair. “Oh, I definitely am wearing pants,” he smirked.  
James frowned, confused. He made quick work of Q’s button and zip before stepping back enough to see. “Oh…” He whispered, mesmerized by the sight before him. “Q…” He nearly whimpered, sliding his hands under Q’s jeans to push them down so he could see better. “These are… God…” The agent couldn’t think straight, captivated, much less ask why Q was wearing /lacy panties/.  
Q bit his lip as he looked down at him. “Do you like them?” He asked in a bit of a slur. “I got them just for you.”  
James fell to his knees like his strings had been cut. He’d probably regret that later, but all that mattered now was Q. “Baby, /Q/, you’re so incredible. You look so good. I can’t describe how amazing you look to me right now.” He was barely aware of what was coming out of his mouth. Finally, James leaned in to mouth at the thin lace adorning Q’s hip, squeezing Q’s arse as he worked a mark into the skin there. “Look at you. These must be so tight. They can barely hold you, lovely.” He grabbed the edge of the lace with his teeth, pulling it down just enough to expose the head of Q’s cock.  
Q gasped and writhed under Bond’s touch, tugging on the agent’s hair in desperation. Each one of his touches felt ten times more intense in Q’s drunken haze.  
James pressed a kiss to the head of Q’s cock, lapping at the precome before pulling back and blowing cool air across it. He moved down, mouthing at Q’s shaft through the thin layer of lace. He finally started to pull the panties down, tired of them blocking his way. He let them fall to where Q’s jeans were still stuck around his knees. He quickly moved back in, using one hand to push Q’s hips back as the other grabbed and stroked his cock. James slowly dipped his head down to suck at Q’s balls, laving at them with his tongue.  
Q arched his hips against him, letting out a loud, high-pitched moan and hearing it echo off the walls. Soft pants and whines escaped from his lips as James continued. Q gripped his shoulder tightly with one hand, his other in the agent’s hair.  
James hummed in pleasure as Q’s fingers tightened in his hair. He moved back to take just the head of the younger man’s cock into his mouth, slowly stroking the rest of his shaft with his hand as he sucked on the head, flicking his tongue over the tip. He could feel the muscles in Q’s legs shaking with the hand he had braced against Q’s thigh, and smirked.  
Q continued to pant and mumbled incoherently as he felt a warmth beginning to grow in his stomach. He was so close and knew that he wouldn’t be able to last much longer.  
Bond could see the Quartermaster’s orgasm coming and stopped teasing. He bobbed his head, taking in more of Q and swallowing him to his base before pulling off. He dragged his teeth carefully up Q’s shaft and sucked hard. He repeated the move faster, knowing Q was almost there.  
Q bucked his hips as he cried out, suddenly releasing into the agent’s mouth. He slumped back against the wall, breathing heavily.  
James swallowed quickly, pulling off of Q’s cock so he wouldn’t become oversensitive. He reached down to his own trousers, trying to unbutton and unzip them quickly, his hips rolling to the beat of the music thudding through the walls. Q pulled him up to capture his lips in a heated kiss as he tried to help him get his trousers down. James groaned into his mouth, trying not to buck into Q’s hands until they got his trousers down far enough. “Yes,” the agent hissed as Q finally pulled his cock out.  
Q began to stroke him gently as he moaned against his lips desperately. “James… James, ohh… Fuck me. Please. I need you so bad.”  
James pulled back to look him in the eyes. “No.” He leaned in to nip at Q’s neck and breathe into his ear. “I won’t fuck you in a bathroom stall. When I do fuck you, I’m going to take you apart slowly. I’m going to kiss every inch of your body. It’s not going to be some hurried fuck in a place like this. Do you understand? It’s not that I don’t want to, because, /god/ do I want to. But it’s not going to be with no lube and you drunk off your arse.” He pressed a kiss to Q’s lips almost sweetly.  
Q grinned up at him drunkenly and pressed kisses all over the agent’s face. “Oh, James. You’re always such a gentleman,” he giggled softly as he slumped against him a bit. James rolled his eyes, trying not to thrust at the new pressure of Q’s body against his own, although any friction felt good. “You’re so good to me, James,” Q mumbled. “I just want to keep you forever.” He wrapped his arms around the agent tightly.  
James wrapped his arms around the younger man with a smile, amused by his actions. “You have me forever,” he murmured into Q’s hair, trying not to let him hear.  
Q hummed softly and looked down between them. “Oh! What do we have here?”  
James started laughing into Q’s neck, unable to help himself. He took Q’s head in his hands and kissed him again, amused.  
Q returned the kiss with a giddy smile before pulling back. “Come on, Jamesy. Let me help you.”  
James smiled down at Q, letting out a breath at how he looked. “Okay, then.” He raised his eyebrows with a smirk, watching as Q brought his hand up to his mouth, licking it sloppily before reaching down to stroke him. Bond bit his lip, unable to find a rhythm with Q’s uneven wanking. He was so close, the friction driving him insane, but he couldn’t come from this. “Q,” he whined in frustration, grinding his head into Q’s shoulder.  
“Hmm?” Q looked down between them again. “Are you having issues, Jamesy? Is it because you’re getting old?”  
The agent pushed Q suddenly against the wall, thrusting into Q’s hand that was trapped between them. “The only trouble in this room is you driving me so crazy.” He bit Q’s neck sharply, speaking around the pinned skin. “I know you did this on purpose, babe.”  
Q yelped softly when James bit him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he huffed.  
James grinned around Q’s skin, pulling back slowly and kissing over it to help soothe the sting. “So you’re saying, that is. Taking me here, dancing on me like you did, saying those dirty words to me, that all wasn’t trying to get me here? Because I know, I know that that is a lie,” he sang into Q’s ear. “You want to know how I know this?” He kissed up Q’s neck, still rolling his hips.  
Q hummed softly at the feeling of Bond’s lips on his neck, nodding quickly. “Tell me, James. I want to know.”  
James ran his lips up and down Q’s neck for a moment, sliding his hands down to Q’s hips. “Those lacy little panties told me, Q.” He nipped the lobe of Q’s ear gently. “That’s how I knew that all of this was on purpose.”  
“Maybe I just like wearing lacy panties?” Q asked as he looked down to watch James thrust into his hand. “I’ll have to go out and buy more now that I know how much you like them,” he giggled.  
James gasped into Q’s neck, his mind stuck on a loop of Q wearing lacy panties under his clothes all the time. His hips stutted in the movements at the possibilities Q’s words outline as it finally tips him over the edge with a groan.  
Q giggled softly and pecked Bond’s lips before looking down between them again. “Aw, James! You got it all over my jeans! Now everyone’s going to see!”  
James panted a little, pulling back to see slowly bruising marks on Q’s neck. He giggled a little, endorphins trickling through his system. “That’s not the only thing they’re going to see. You might want to make an excuse to wear a scarf. Ah, sorry.”  
“Fine. But you get to explain it to my parents,” Q smirked and kissed Bond’s chin before pulling up his jeans.  
The agent nodded, grinning. “If they get the courage to ask me instead of just passive aggressively making comments.” He straightened his clothes, scratching the stubble on his chin. “Well, let’s go see where your sister and Callum have gone. I’d like another drink while we’re at it, too.”  
“Mmm… Me, too. But first.” Q pulled James close and kissed him sloppily. He let go after a moment and stumbled out of the bathroom, back to the table.  
James stared after him, bemused, but followed him to the table after a moment, order each of them another drink. “Do you see them?” Q nodded in their direction and James glanced over to find them looking just as dishevelled as they did. James looked them up and down as they came closer, but said nothing, merely sending them a knowing wink as he received their drinks.  
Q leaned against James, gazing up at him as he ran his fingers through the agent’s hair. “James, you’re really pretty.”  
James leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Q’s lips. “So are you, lovely.” He grinned at Q and cuddled him to his chest, enjoying his drunk temperance. James took a sip of his drink, noting not to let Q have much more alcohol.  
Q began to giggle softly, paying no attention to Maggie and Callum as they watched them. “Hey, James. James, guess what? I have a secret to tell you.”  
The agent chuckled and leaned down to be closer to Q’s face. “Yeah? What’s that?”  
Q pressed his face close and whispered, “I think I’m falling in love with you.”  
James pulled back sharply, looking into Q’s eyes, shocked. “Q, you’re drunk,” he said a bit roughly, his heartbeat picking up.  
“Yeah…” Q nodded, giggling softly. “Yeah, I am soooo drunk. I’m so drunk. So drunk.”  
“Okay.” Bond relaxed a bit. “That’s right. You’re very drunk. Actually, we should probably get you home.” He glanced at Maggie, who nodded.  
Q stood up suddenly, swaying a bit before falling into Bond’s lap. “Oh, hi there.”  
James caught him and stood, helping Q keep his balance. “Come on, genius. Let’s take you home and get some water in you.” Q leaned against him more, giggling as Bond led him out of the club.  
They quickly grabbed a cab home, trying to keep Q quiet as they reached the house. “Shh, come on,” James said quietly. “Let’s not wake your parents.”  
A soon as they entered the hose, Q called out, “Mum! Dad! We’re home!”  
James groaned exasperatedly as lights flicked on upstairs. He hitched Q’s arm further over his shoulder as he pulled him toward the stairs, intent on getting lots of water into him despite anyone else.  
Q giggled more as he slumped against James. When they got to his room, Q plopped himself down on the bed, pulling Bond down with him.  
James tried not to lay directly on top of Q as he was suddenly yanked down. “Q, slow down, babe. I need to get a few things. Why don’t you get changed into your pyjamas, hmm? If you’re done by the time I get back, I’ll give you a reward.” He kissed Q’s nose and pulled away.  
Q smiled, his face flushed as he tried to get up. He managed to sit up and began to fumble with the buttons of his cardigan.  
James smirked down at him, wanting to kiss Q again but knowing he had to leave now or he’d just get caught up in the younger man again. He went to the kitchen, grabbing two glasses and filling them with water, then stopping in the living room to get his pyjamas. He turned to go back upstairs and saw Q’s mum standing at the top. She doesn’t say anything, but James muttered, “I’m so sorry.” He walked past her to return to Q’s room.  
Q had managed to remove his cardigan and t-shirt on his own. He struggled to get his jeans undone, mumbling and giggling softly to himself.  
James stepped in, closing the door behind him when he saw Q’s state. He leaned in the doorway for a moment, unable to look away from the sight Q made. He stepped forward, setting the glasses on the bedside table so they were out of Q’s reach, and knelt before him. “Need some help?” He murmured. Q nodded in response, pouting at James as he continued to struggle with his jeans. James stilled Q’s hands with his own, placing them on the bed next to Q. Quickly sliding the jeans off, he leaned back on his heels to look at him. Bond’s mind flashed back to what Q had said before. An ache lodged itself in the agent’s ribcage. He was just drunk.  
Q looked up at him through dark lashes. Biting his lip softly, he removed his glasses and set them aside on the bedside table.  
James grabbed the shirt that Q would be wearing to bed and helped him slip it on before pressing a kiss to the younger man’s forehead. He sat next to him, grabbing the glass of water and urging Q to lean closer to him. “Come on. If you don’t drink this, you’ll feel like utter shit tomorrow.” He teased the whole glass into Q, little by little, and set it aside when he was done.  
Q laid back and pulled James down with him. “I… Let’s… Let’s sleep. You should sleep. You don’t sleep enough.”  
James let Q pull him down, arranging them so they’re on their sides. “I don’t need to sleep as much as you do. But if you go to sleep, I will, too.”  
He watched as Q closed his eyes, listening as his breaths evened out, and smiled softly before pulling away. He sat up and grabbed his glass, downing the water before quickly changing into his pyjamas. He looked down at Q, want to lay back down beside him. Instead, he slipped out of the room, walking down to sit on the couch with his head in his hands. He couldn’t wait until they went back home.


	20. Chapter 20

The Quartermaster awoke the next morning as the sun shined in through the windows of his childhood bedroom. He sat up, immediately regretting it. His head was pounding and he didn’t notice Bond sitting at his desk until he chuckled softly.  
“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” the agent said as he stood, handing Q a glass of water and a few pills. “How do you feel?” He grinned.  
“Like hell,” he groaned softly before taking the pills, swallowing them down with some water. “How drunk was I?”  
James shrugged. “I’m not sure what you’re looking for: you screaming to your parents that we were home last night or…” He paused, smirking as he met Q’s eyes. “You begging me to fuck you in the club’s bathroom. How much do you remember?”  
“Oh, god.” Q leaned forward with his head in his hands. “I don’t remember anything after you sucking me off. What else did I do?”  
“Nothing bad,” the agent replied, shaking his head with a small smile. “You should probably shower. Your mum’s had breakfast out for a while.”  
Q groaned again as he slowly got up out of bed. He grabbed his glasses and slid them on before looking down at himself. He blushed brightly when he saw that he was still wearing the lacy panties.  
James grinned wickedly at the Quartermaster. “What, did you forget?” He hummed, pretending to remember something. “Oh! One thing from last night. You did say you were going to buy more of those.” He tossed Q a robe.  
“Of course I did,” Q sighed as he pulled on the robe. “I’m going to shower.”  
“I still think it’s a good idea!” James smirked as he followed him out of the room, heading downstairs to make some more coffee.  
While the Quartermaster took his time in the shower, Bond sat in the kitchen and waited for him to return. He sipped his coffee as he stared absentmindedly out the window. He hadn't realized, when he had been handed the tickets and gotten his first glance at Q’s childhood home’s address, that it was so close to his own. Skyfall was hardly an hours drive away, and he had avoided putting any real thought into that until now. After what had happened not too long ago, Silva and the entire mess he had brought with him that had resulted in M’s death... Well, he didn't think about it often. But being so nearby, and with Q showing him so much of his family life, made James want to share even this small part of his life. As he looked out at the beautiful day, he became more and more convinced that he wanted to at least try. He looked up when Q entered, smiling at his fresh appearance. “Feeling better?”  
“I guess so,” Q replied with a shrug as he went to pour himself some coffee.  
James walked up behind him, wrapping his arm around Q’s waist. “Stop being grumpy. It’s too beautiful of a day.” He began to hum softly.  
“I’m not grumpy, I’m hungover.” Q sipped his coffee and leaned back against him.  
James kissed the side of Q’s head, humming and starting to rock them slightly to the tune. “Well, who’s fault is that?” He began to kiss down Q’s neck.  
Q closed his eyes and let out a quiet sigh before pulling away. He downed the rest of his coffee and set his mug in the sink before going back up to the bathroom to look for more painkillers.  
James looked out at the day again, deciding it was time to go back, especially if he could show Q a small part of him. He went upstairs, pausing in the doorway of the bathroom. “Do you want to go for a drive?”  
Q swallowed some pills down with water before turning to him, rubbing his eyes. “Where?”  
The agent glanced to the side for a moment before meeting Q’s eyes. “Somewhere nearby. A place I haven’t visited in awhile.”  
Q looked up at him with furrowed brows but soon nodded. “Okay. When… When did you want to go?”  
“As soon as you’re ready. I’ll pack us some food.” He turned abruptly and went to the kitchen.  
Q watched him go with a quiet sigh, growing worried. Where was James taking him and why was it making him so quiet? The Quartermaster finished getting ready before going to put his shoes on.  
James quickly bagged the food he had made and grabbed a blanket before putting his shoes on. He glanced up to see Q coming down the stairs. “Ready.” He opened the door for him, going out to the car and getting into the driver’s seat.  
Q got in next to him and buckled up as James started the car, turning on the radio, and pulling out of the driveway. The more he thought about it, the more of an idea he had of where they were going. He just hoped James would be okay if his suspicions were right.  
James smiled over at him a bit as he drove, rolling down the windows to enjoy the pleasant warmth and smell in the air. His smile grew as Q reached over and took his hand, lacing their fingers together. Soon, they were getting close. The agent frowned as he began to recognize the area. He knew that it would be hard and that it would bring back bad memories, but he could still feel his heart start to race almost out of his control as they neared.  
Q noticed the change in his demeanor and furrowed his brows as he brought Bond’s hand to his lips, kissing it softly. He knew exactly where they were going now.  
James smiled at him tensely, trying to control his breathing and heartbeat. He managed to calm some, but he knew it wouldn’t last. As they finally crested the hill to look into the valley that held the remains of his childhood home, Bond’s breath caught in his throat. A vision flashed across his mind of it burning, the last night he had been there.  
Q kept his eyes on James, worry evident in his features. “James, we… We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”  
James shook his head. “I’m okay,” he clipped out as he pulled the car to a stop in front of the remains. “I… I know you know about this place, obviously, after what happened here. But… I wanted to bring you here, to show you where I grew up. Before my parents died.” He tried to keep his mind clear, looking at Q instead of the ashy remains that were starting to be taken over by vegetation.  
Q kept his eyes on James, reaching up to place his hand on his cheek and caressing it gently. “James, I know this means a lot to you, but it’s okay if you’re not ready.”  
“I’m fine,” James murmured, calming a bit at Q’s touch. “You know, it almost looks better like this than it did when I was young. Much more approachable.” He inhaled through his nose, looking over the place. He could still see pieces of helicopter in the mess.  
Q watched him closely, searching his face for any signs of distress. He bit his lip softly before letting out a quiet sigh. “Do you want to get out of the car?”  
James nodded and stepped out of the car quickly. He walked forward to lean back against the hood of the car, his hands in his pockets. He looked over the place, wondering what would happen with it. If it would continue rotting there forever or if someone would build there again. He glanced over at Q as he came up beside him and an idea began in his mind, churning slowly.  
The Quartermaster looked over the remains of the manor, wondering how it looked before Silva and the fire. He thought about James as a child, running through the halls, playing in the fields. It brought a small smile to his face as he looked up at him.  
James smiled back at him, carefully tucking the thought away for later. “Would you like to go for a walk? I could show you the lake?” Where I almost died, he added in his head. “Or the church?” M… He didn’t finish the thought. He fought a shiver and turned to smile at Q, holding his breath for a second so he didn’t start hyperventilating.   
Q nodded with a small smile and took his hand, subtly taking the older man’s pulse to make sure that he was okay.  
He felt Q’s fingers curl around his wrist and huffed softly, but let him. He started to lead him out toward the lake, pointing out the tunnel that had led out of the house. Once they got to the lake James showed Q both of the areas he remembered from when he was young and where he had fallen through the ice. He still felt calm somehow, but maybe that was just because of Q.  
Q kept hold of his hand as they walked, listening to James intently as he told him about his past. They continued walking until they had finally arrived at the chapel. He looked over the gravestones until he found Bond’s parents and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.  
James followed Q’s gaze, not saying anything at first. “I was young when they died. But from what I remember, we were happy.” He took a moment to look at them before moving on. “This-” His voice faltered. “This was our chapel.” He stared, unable to look away for a moment before unfreezing with a jerk. James started to move forward finally, tugging Q along with him. He froze in the doorway, panting with his mouth slightly open. His sight was taken by a vision of M standing there, bleeding out, Silva holding a gun to her head. His head felt hazy and he stumbled to a pew, falling into it. James could hear his name being called, but it seemed far away and quiet compared to his breathing.  
Q rushed to his side, eyes wide with concern as he felt his watch buzz, an alert from the smart blood indicating Bond’s rapid increase in heart rate. “James?!” He carefully took Bond’s face in his hands, smoothing back his hair. “James… James, baby, look at me. Please… Just keep your eyes on me. I’ve got you,” he murmured. “I’ve got you.”  
His vision slowly clears and James comes back to himself in a snap, gasping for air. He blinked fiercely, trying to clear his blurry sight and slowly calming his breath. He held eye contact with Q and concentrated on nothing else. James realized that his cheeks were wet, that he was shaking. He pulled back from Q sharply, wiping his cheeks with rough swipes of his hands.  
Q watched him closely as he sat down next to him on the pew. He rubbed Bond’s back gently, trying to help him calm down. He didn’t say anything for a moment, not wanting to spook him. But as he continued to watch him, he let out a quiet sigh and whispered, “James?”  
James didn’t look at Q, though he relaxed further at his touch. His sides ached and his old bullet wound twinged in rhythm with his heart. A quake ran through his body, making him release a pained gasp. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I’m sorry. This was a bad idea.”  
Q bit his lip as he stood, holding his hands out to him. “Come on. Let’s get you back to the car.”  
James stood, hesitating. He turned and looked around the church, gasping in a quick breath and letting out a shuddering exhale. He felt better, in a way. Like he had been run over. Like something had been roughly ripped from his chest. But like something had released. He took another deep breath and turned back to Q. “I’m glad I came. I feel… Lighter. I needed…. Whatever that was.”  
Q nodded and gave his hand a gentle squeeze before slowly leading James back outside. “Are you going to be okay?”  
James nodded as he walked alongside him. He wasn’t better yet, but he had taken a step that he hadn’t known he needed until today. “You want to eat?”  
Q shook his head, keeping his focus on James as they returned to the car. “No, I’m fine. Do you?”  
James shook his head, dismissive. “I can wait.” He paused as they reached the car, looking back at the remains of what used to be his home. He’ll come back one day, he decides. And if it was still there and empty, he’d buy it and build a home. Not a manor, just a home.  
Q looked James over, taking his pulse once more. “Maybe I should drive back…”  
He glanced at him, a smile on his lips. “As you wish.” James pressed the keys into Q’s hand and a kiss to his lips, trying to communicate that there was nothing to worry about. Q returned the kiss before the two of them got into the car. James noticed as Q looked him over one last time before heading back up the drive to the main road.  
James relaxed, letting his thoughts wander for a good part of the drive until he suddenly recognized something and sat up. “Q, do you want to stay out a little longer? There’s a park coming up where we can stop for lunch; there’s a truly beautiful view. Take this left turn up ahead.” He guided Q to the park.  
When they had arrived, Q parked the car and got out, smiling softly at James. They gathered up their blanket and food before James led him to a nice area. “I used to come here, I don’t remember who with, though. After my parents died, before I started on the path to… Any of this.”  
James spread the blanket out on the grass, setting the food down and slipping off his shoes. He sat, leaning back on his hands as he took in the view. He turned to look at Q as he sat down next to him, a soft feeling in his chest making James smile and hum on his exhale. “I’m glad we came out today.”  
Q smiled as he gazed back at him, glad that he had relaxed. “Thank you for taking me.”  
James leaned forward, taking one of Q’s hands and playing with his fingers before lacing them with his own. “It was hard, but worth it.”  
“I’m glad you think so.” Q nodded with a small smile as he looked down at their hands.  
James smirked momentarily. “All my ideas are good ideas,” he muttered, moving in to bump Q with his shoulder before getting out their sandwiches.  
“Yeah…” He smiled a bit as the two of them began to eat. “This picnic was a good idea.”  
James quickly finished his sandwich before laying back on the blanket with a sigh. He let his eyes close against the sun’s glare and relaxed, enjoying the feeling of the breeze in his hair and the sun on his skin. The only thing missing was Q in his arms.  
Q set his sandwich aside with a smile, moving over to gently lay Bond’s head in his lap. He ran his fingers through the older man’s hair with a soft smile.  
James looked up a Q and felt so calm, a fluttering emotion in his stomach that he didn’t recognize. He reached up and traced Q’s jawline. He loved the way he looked at him. James smiled as Q leaned down to peck his lips. He allowed his hand to slip back to stroke Q’s neck and up into his curls as they kissed. Having this moment with Q was perfect. James felt so happy and content that he almost worried that something was about to go wrong, but he pushed that feeling away. Nothing could ruin this moment.  
Q pulled back just a bit, brushing his nose against Bond’s with a smile. He felt a tug on his heart as he looked down at James, and then it dawned on him. He was falling for him.  
James was lost in Q’s hazel eyes, his heart rate picking up, pupils dilating. He took a shuddering breath, suddenly wanting to be closer to him.  
Q gently smoothed Bond’s hair back as he kept his eyes on him, noticing the change. “Are you okay?”  
James nodded, his mouth dry. He sat up and pulled Q close to him. He had only vaguely felt like this before, with… Vesper. But this. This felt stronger, purer. He didn’t know what to make of it. He pressed a kiss to Q’s lips and they both melted into it. James pulled Q closer to him and twisted as they fell back on the blanket so that Q wouldn’t take the full brunt of their weight. He chuckled breathlessly as they laid next to each other.  
Q laughed softly as he rolled over onto his stomach, leaning over James. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it as soon as he realized what he was going to say. Neither of them were ready for that quite yet.  
James leaned up and kissed him, pulling Q down on top of him. He quickly deepened the kiss, winding his hand into Q’s curls and rolled on top of him. He nipped at Q’s bottom lip before pulling back suddenly. “Will?”  
Q looked up at him with flushed cheeks, panting softly as he reached up to run his fingers through the older man’s hair. “Y-Yeah?”  
James enjoyed Q’s dazed state for a second before repeating. “Will?”  
He looked up at him with furrowed brows. “What”  
James grinned down at him, hesitating a second and thrilling at saying Q’s real name. “/Billy/?”  
Q raised a brow and hit Bond’s chest lightly. “Call me that again and I’ll make sure M puts you on desk duty for the rest of the month.”  
James pecked Q’s lips quickly in apology. “You seemed a bit distracted. I was just trying to get your attention, Will.”  
Q bit his lip softly, feeling his cheeks heat up. “It’s so weird to hear you call me by my real name.”  
James leaned down and kissed him deeply again, pulling Q’s bottom lip into his mouth and soothing his tongue over it. He pulled back a bit. “I like it,” he said with a grin. “Will.”  
Q grinned back up at him happily and nodded his head. “Yeah… So do I.”  
James cradled Q’s head in his hands, using his fingertips to massage his scalp as he kissed him slowly, deeply. He felt so at peace there with him that he never wanted to move from that spot. He resolved to ask Q later what his full name was, but concentrated on what was important right then, mainly kissing Q until he was dazed and breathless again.  
Bond sighed through his nose at the feeling of Q’s hands as they moved up to his hair. He stroked the younger man’s cheekbones with his thumb and moved his other hand down to trace Q’s delicate-looking collarbones. He loved the feeling of Q’s smooth skin beneath his fingers. He moved more on top of Q and carefully slid his leg between the Quartermaster’s. He didn’t know how much further Q wanted to take this because they were in public, but he was unable to stop trying to get closer to him.  
Q pulled James down even closer so that their bodies were flush against each other as they continued to kiss. He didn’t care where they were. He just wanted to be close to James.  
James gasped as they came into full contact suddenly and moaned into Q’s mouth, the kiss heating quickly. He tangled one hand further into Q’s curls and dragged the other down across Q’s chest, starting to stroke up and down his side.   
Q hummed softly against Bond’s lips at the feeling of his hands on his body, loving how close they were. He let out a soft, high-pitched moan as James began to rocking his hips against him, unable to stop. Q shivered as James slipped a hand under his shirt, stroking his hip and the dip of his stomach. James bit Q’s bottom lip, tugging on it slightly before releasing it and working his way down Q’s neck. Q tried to rock up against him for more friction, but forced himself to still as Bond began to work on the fastenings of his jeans.  
James pulled Q out of his jeans and boxers, only pushing them down enough that they were out of the way, and started to stroke him, flicking his thumb over the head. He stopped, leaning back quickly so that he could pull himself out before covering Q with his body again. He returned his lips to Q’s, kissing his deeply as he took both of their cocks in hand and thrusted against him. He shuddered at the feeling of Q’s cock against his own, pulling away from Q’s mouth to look down at them together. Using his thumb, he smeared slick precome around, making an easier glide against each other.  
Q moaned softly as he tugged on Bond’s hair, rocking against him. He leaned up, pressing his forehead to Bond’s as he looked down between them, watching as James stroked them together. He glanced back up and looked into his blue eyes, his own pale cheeks flushed pink.  
James met Q’s gaze, panting slightly, and thrusted harder against him. He watched Q’s reactions play across his face in awe. “Will...” He gasped, tightening his grip around them.  
Q let out a soft whimper when he said his real name. “James…” He moaned softly.  
James could feel Q’s cock jerking in his grip and worked them faster, wanting to see Q cum. He tightened his grip on Q’s hair, tugging on the hair at the nape of his neck.   
Q leaned up and kissed him gently before tipping his head back with a moan. His back arched up off the ground as he released between them.  
James moaned as Q’s cum splashed between them, covering his hand and striping Q’s stomach. He thrusted into his hand quickly, watching Q’s expression twist in pleasure. James gasped as pleasure overtook him as well, coming with a moan of Q’s name and dropping his head.  
Q let his body relax as he looked up at the sky, gently running his fingers through Bond’s short hair. Once again, he forced himself to hold back those three little words.  
James rolled mostly off of Q, pillowing his head on Q’s chest. He threw a hand out, searching for the napkins he had thoughtfully brought and wiping vaguely at their mess. He did what he could and tossed the napkin away from them before tucking them both back into their trousers. He decided that was enough movement for now and yawned softly.  
Q leaned up a bit to press a gentle kiss to the top of Bond’s head as he watched the sun begin to set on the horizon. “We should head back soon…”  
James sighed deeply as he realized that Q was right. “Yeah…” He leaned up on one elbow, looking down at him before pressing a kiss to his lips. He pulled back and sat up, moving to clean up their garbage as Q got to his feet and began to help.  
Once their picnic was all cleaned up, the two of them went back to the car and got in. James sat in the passenger’s seat as he reached over and took Q’s hand to hold while they made their way back to Q’s parents’ house. Q glanced over at him often as he drove, not able to keep his eyes off him for some reason.  
James smiled at him bemusedly. “Have I got something on my face?” He grinned, leaning over to kiss Q’s cheek.  
“No…” Q murmured with a small smile as he continued to drive. “I just… I keep thinking I’ll wake up and this will all have been a dream.”  
James looked at him steadily for a moment, then a mischievous flits across his face. He quickly reached in and pinched Q’s side.  
Q flinched away from him with a soft gasp. “James! Don’t do that while I’m driving! You’ll get us both killed.”  
James held his hands up in surrender, chuckling softly. “I was just letting you know it’s not a dream.” He blinked innocently.  
“Oh, shut up,” he said with a roll of his eyes as he nudged James with his elbow.  
James smiled and took his hand again, bringing it to his lips and kissing each knuckle. “As you wish.” He continued to hold Q’s hand, smiling at the blush that had formed on the Quartermaster’s pale cheeks. When they had finally returned, it was quite dark out. They went in quietly and James went to take care of their garbage.  
The two of them went up to Q’s room to get changed for bed. James grabbed his pyjamas off the bed and kissed Q’s cheek. “I'm going to take a shower quick. I'll come say goodnight when I'm done. Unless you want to join me?” He winked and walked out to the bathroom.  
Q rolled his eyes at him with a soft smile and grabbed his clothes before following him. “We’ll have to be quiet. I doubt my parents would approve.”  
James smiled as he stripped off his shirt and trousers, turning to start up the water. “Of course we’ll be quiet. I was only offering because it’ll conserve water.” He smirked, still facing away from him.  
“Well, it’s not like I was suggesting anything, either,” he replied as he undressed as well.  
James straightened his face before turning back to Q, his eyes roaming over the Quartermaster’s body. “And if I were to suggest something?” He managed to keep his tone blasé, but his lips twisted a bit in a grin at the end.  
Q raised a brow at him. “I’d say I’m beginning to think you’re a sex addict and we’d have to be even quieter.”  
James stepped closer to him and kiss him gently. “”Is it really a surprise that I would become addicted to you?” He pulled back, stepping under the spray with a grin and getting his hair wet.  
Q licked his lips and finished undressing before stepping in behind him. He hesitated before wrapping his arms around the older man’s waist, pressing light kisses to his neck before letting go, grabbing the bottle of shampoo. He stepped under the stream to get his hair wet before beginning to scrub the shampoo into his hair.  
James washed quickly, snickering to himself as he tried to keep out of Q’s way. He got an idea. Brushing Q’s hands out of the way, he sank his fingers into the soapy curls, massaging Q’s scalp softly. He continued the massage to Q’s neck, supporting Q’s head as he tipped it to either side to get better access to his neck. He smiled as Q went limp in his arms, relaxed, and carefully tilted the younger man’s head back to rinse out the suds. Once the shampoo was gone from Q’s hair, James pulled him close and kissed his cheeks before moving to shampoo his own hair.  
Q blinked a few times as James stepped away from him and took a moment to look him over. His eyes trailed over Bond’s body as he reached over for the soap. He licked his lips subconsciously as the soap slipped from his hand.  
James smirked at Q and slowly ran his hand across his chest. Biting his lip, James gracefully slipped to his knees in front of Q and picked up the soap. He held it out to him, keeping eye contact with Q despite the reaction happening a few inches from his face. “Dropped something,” he said, keeping his voice low and throaty. He did nothing else, leaving his move to Q’s interpretation.  
“I… Uh… Thanks,” Q breathed out shakily as he took the soap, his fingers brushing against Bond’s.  
James paused there a moment longer, teasing, and then stood. He rinsed one last time before stepping out and drying off quickly. He got dressed and turned to look at Q, who was still flushed and disoriented from his sudden departure. “Don’t have too much fun without me,” he said, ducking out quickly with a grin before heading back to Q’s bedroom.  
Q blinked and shook his head, swearing under his breath when he looked down at himself. He tried to ignore his erection, but eventually gave in and began to stroke himself. Once he had finished, Q turned off the water and got out, dressing before going to his bedroom, where he found James sprawled on his bed.  
James sat up as Q entered, taking in his heavy-lidded eyes and flushed cheeks. “Oh, you /did/ have fun,” he smirked.  
“No thanks to you.” Q rolled his eyes as he laid next to him. “I really hate you sometimes.”  
James gathered Q in his arms, pressing a kiss to his curls. “No, you don’t.” He grinned happily.  
Q smiled and buried his face in Bond’s neck with a soft hum. “Will you stay here tonight?”  
James sighed, conflicted. He wanted to, he hated sleeping downstairs, but he still didn’t like the idea of disobeying Q’s parents’ wishes while they were in their house. “I want to. But…” He didn’t move, resting his chin on top of Q’s head.  
Q sighed knowingly. “If they don’t like it, I’ll just tell them I had another nightmare.”  
James snuggled a bit closer, considering. “I… Guess that would work.” He wrapped his arms tighter around him.  
Q nodded and gripped Bond’s shirt in his hand. “It’s not a complete lie. I just… I’m not ready to be alone.”  
James pressed a kiss to his forehead, pulling back to see Q’s face. “I hate leaving you alone. I’ve never slept better than by your side.” He gently kissed Q’s lips and moved to pull the covers over them.  
Q returned the kiss gently before curling up next to him again and whispering, “I feel safer with you.”  
James inhaled deeply, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. “I feel safe with you, too. Before you, I wasn’t able to sleep without a gun in my hand. You help me be better.” He blinked hard, tucking his chin on top Q’s head again, feeling so full of emotion.  
Q smiled and exhaled shakily. Bond’s words mean a lot to him. Q sniffled softly as his eyes began to fill with tears.  
James stroked Q’s hair soothingly, pulling back to see him. “Hey, hon, it's okay. Shh…” He used his thumb to wipe Q’s cheeks and leaned in to kiss his forehead.  
Q sniffled again and wiped his eyes. “I… I’m sorry… God, I’m such a mess.”  
James pressed little kisses all over Q’s face, trying to make him smile. “You’re fine. You’re wonderful.”  
Q smiled a bit and leaned up to peck Bond’s lips. “You’re too good to me.”  
“You deserve it,” James whispered, tracing Q’s jawline with his thumb as he looked into his eyes. The situation felt so charged and intimate, even though there was nothing sexual about it.  
Q looked up at him, enjoying his gentle touch. He moved to wrap his arm around him tightly as he closed his eyes. He stayed curled up against him, their legs tangled together, and drifted off.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Life got busy. 
> 
> Also, if you noticed, we've changed the title from Learning to Trust to Writings On the Wall. This is mainly because the original title was the only thing we could come up with at the time, even though neither of us really liked it. Why we didn't think of the new one in the first place, I have no idea. Let us know what you think!
> 
> -Redvines1595

Bond awoke to the sound of the door creaking open open and slit an eye open to see Q’s mother peeking in. He didn’t move, pretending that he was still asleep. She seemed to war with herself for a moment, then there was an audible sigh and she left, closing the door behind her. James huffed a laugh and settled down again, looking at Q in his arms. The younger man was solidly asleep against his chest so he laid back, relaxing into the pillows and laying his hand on top of Q’s curls, stroking gently. James smiled softly when Q hummed softly in his sleep and snuggled closer to him. He pressed a kiss to the younger man’s forehead as he shifted and glanced out the window to see the rising sun.  
Q shifted again in his sleep as the sun shined in his eyes. He groaned softly and opened his eyes a bit, only to shut them again and bury his face in Bond’s neck, not quite ready to wake up.  
James smiled down at Q’s adorable expressions. “Morning,” he murmured, loving that he got to wake with Q in his arms again. He ran his fingers more vigorously through Q’s curls and down his neck, simulating the skin.  
Q shivered at the older man’s touch and gently pressed his lips to Bond’s neck, running his fingers up and down his side. He smirked when James rolled his head to the side to give him better access. Q kissed up along Bond’s neck and jaw until their lips met, feeling more awake now. He chuckled as James pulled him on top of him, kissing him a moment longer before pulling back. “Come on. We should head down.”  
James sighed, knowing Q was right but not wanting to face the backlash from his parents. He sat up against the headboard, watching Q as he began to dress. Sighing again, James stretched as he got up and began to dress as well.  
Q rolled his eyes as he finished getting dressed and went over to press a kiss to Bond’s cheek. “Relax.”  
He pulled his shirt over his head before returning Q’s kiss. “I just want them to like me.”  
“Why wouldn’t they?” Q shrugged. “You make me feel happy… Safe.”  
James smiled and pulled Q into a hug. “Yeah… And it’s not like they could stop me. Nothing can keep me from you.”  
Q smiled happily as he wrapped his arms around Bond’s waist. “Well, I’m glad to hear that.”  
James pressed a kiss to Q’s forehead, thinking about how he had killed for him. It had felt different than killing for Queen and country, though he didn’t know what the distinction was. He brushed the thought away and pulled back to open the door for them, keeping his arm around Q.  
Q led him downstairs, where they found his mum making breakfast. He went over to her and kissed her cheek before grabbing a mug for coffee. He glanced back at James as he leaned against the counter, watching Q move around the kitchen easily with a relaxed smile and still drowsy lidded eyes. The Quartermaster filled the mug in his hand and gave it to James before going back to fill his own. He glanced back at him with a smile.  
James held the cup with a surprised and grateful grin, not having expected it. He brought it to his mouth with both hands and sipped, enjoying the heat. He watched Q over the edge of his cup, smiling as he placed it behind him on the counter. He felt someone’s gaze on him and glanced over in time to see Q’s mother looking away from where she had been watching them. He dismissed whatever that situation had been as Q came over to stand next to him and James slipped an arm around his waist, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He grabbed his coffee again, sipping it and looking out the window, completely filled with warmth and happiness. He was ready to go back to London, but he had to admit, he was happy they had come.  
Q smiled up at him as he continued to sip his coffee before looking over at his mum. “So, um… We’re going to head back to London today.”  
James looked down at him, interested. He quickly thought about the date, realizing Q must have snuck a glance at the return tickets, and grinned. Q was right, they were going back to London in a few hours. James absentmindedly listened to Q talk to his mum, relaxing more against the counter.  
Once they were finished with breakfast, Q led James back to his bedroom so they could pack their things. James followed, packing everything quickly, excited to be going home. “I’ll go pack us something for the train home. We’ll be back late.”  
Q nodded with a smile and finished packing. “I should say goodbye to my parents.”  
He smiled and pressed a kiss to Q’s head. “I’ll join you once I’m done, then. Want me to take your bag down?”  
The Quartermaster nodded with a smile and kissed Bond’s cheek. “I’ll see you in a bit, then.”  
James grabbed their bags, walking downstairs and out to put them in the back of the car. He walked back in, hearing voices coming from the sitting room, but ignoring them for now, moving on to the kitchen to put together some sandwiches for them.  
Q spoke to his parents, hugging them both and thanking them for letting them stay. He looked back at James with a smile. His mother asked about him and James, if he was sure this was what he wanted. He replied with a nod and a smile, telling her James made him happy. He hugged both of his parents once more before saying goodbye to Maggie and Callum, hugging them both as well.  
James finished the sandwiches, wrapping them up and carrying them with him to the sitting room. He found Q’s eyes first, smiling. He turned to Q’s parents, thanking them for having them over. James was glad that the week went well, and that Q were feeling better, especially considering how he had been on their way there. He smiled when Q took his hand and led him out to the car.  
They both waved one last time before getting into the car. James snagged Q’s hand after he had settled in. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He grinned, kissing Q’s knuckles before backing out and pulling away from the house, heading toward the train station.  
Q smiled and shook his head. “No, I actually had a good time. I guess it was just what I needed.”  
James smirked, concentrating on driving for a second. “Told you all my ideas were good ideas,” he said, glancing at him.  
“But it wasn’t your idea.” Q nudged him with a smirk.  
James side-eyed him, pretending to glare. “I guess you talked to Moneypenny, then.” He let out a heavy, put-upon sigh. “And here I was going to take credit for everything.” He smirked.  
“I knew you’d try,” Q chuckled softly. He glanced out the window at his reflection, glad the bruises had almost faded completely.  
After awhile, they reached the train station and James reluctantly handed over the car keys. Making sure they had everything, he led Q onto the train and into an empty compartment. He sighed happily as they sat, looking between Q and out the window as the train slowly moved out.  
Q kept his eyes on James as he sat, biting his lip softly. “Thank you.”  
James grinned at Q, reaching to take his hand. “I thought we agreed I wasn’t taking credit?”  
Q shook his head. “For rescuing me. I never actually thanked you. And for helping me recover.”  
Bond moved to the edge of his seat, getting closer to Q. “You don’t have to thank me for that. Of course I went after you. I could never have left you. And…” He paused, unsure how to say what he felt. “You are extremely important to me.” He looked down. “Helping you feel good and like yourself is important to me.”  
Q smiled softly as his words and took both of Bond’s hands in his own, leaning forward to gently press his lips to the older man’s forehead. “You’re important to me, too…”  
James felt heat travel up his neck and across his cheeks like he was blushing. He moved forward to press kisses along Q’s jaw. Q smiled and pulled back to look at him, chuckling softly at the slight red tinge to his cheeks. James pushed at Q’s chest gently, laughing and sitting back. He leaned against the wall of the compartment, smirking at Q.  
The Quartermaster grinned back at him, happier than he had been in a long time. He turned his head to watch out the window as trees and hills went by, a soft smile resting on his face. He was happy to be going home. He missed his cats.  
James let his mind wander back to the thought he had back at Skyfall as he looked at Q. He could easily picture them being there, though how either of them separating from MI6 would go was anyone's guess. He resolved to let it be for a few years first, then see how things looked. It was nice to have a plan for the future rather than 'die spectacularly in a blaze of glory'.   
James switched between watching Q and looking at the passing scenery, watching it get later in the day. Eventually he pulled out the food, offering some to Q. The Quartermaster took the sandwich with a small smile, unwrapping it before taking a bite. James ate quickly, checking the time to see when they would arrive. “Just a couple more hours,” he said with a stretch. “We can take a nap, or at least I am,” he grinned, stretching across his seat. “Joining me?”  
Q finished eating before rolling his eyes and nodding. He moved to lay next to James, laying his head on the older man’s chest. He smiled and leaned up a bit to press a kiss to Bond’s chin before settling in and closing his eyes.  
James set an alarm and stuffed his jacket under his head, carefully cradling Q in his arms. He loved the feeling of holding him again as he slept. The rocking of the train was more annoying than soothing for about thirty minutes before James was finally able to drift off lightly, surfacing at particularly harsh movements of the carriage and when people walked past their compartment, but managing to get some rest in before the alarm went off. He blinked himself fully awake, reaching with one arm to shut it off.  
Q groaned softly when the alarm went off and sat up slowly, removing his glasses to rub his eyes. “Almost home, then?”  
James kissed Q’s forehead as he sat up. “Your flat? Yeah, we just have to grab a cab.” He smiled softly at Q. The younger man nodded with a smile as the train came to a stop and he grabbed his bag. James stood and grabbed his duffle, starting to lead the way out of the station. He hailed a cab and opened the door for Q, hopping in and saying the address to Q’s flat.  
Q buckled in with a smile, taking Bond’s hand as he watched out the window. James held Q’s hand, so ready to finally be alone with him again, to slip back into their quiet domesticity he was letting himself become used to. Probably not a good idea, he thought as he slid an arm over Q’s shoulders, hiding a smile in his curls. But it felt so good and natural, James couldn't stop it if he tried. Not that he had tried to stop it. He winced, pushing the thought away.  
When the taxi pulled over in front of his flat, Q pulled away from James and grabbed his bag off the floor before getting out. He dug his keys out of his pocket and waited for James before heading inside.  
James followed him calmly, shivering slightly in the chill fog that was beginning to settle in around them. He dumped his duffel on the floor, stretching and yawning as he tried to work out the fuzzy tired feeling train rides always gave him.  
Q greeted his cats with a smile as they ran over to him. He knelt down to pet them both briefly before going back to his bedroom to unpack his bag.  
James crouched down as the cats approached him, petting and playing with them for a while. Eventually he made his way towards Q’s room with his duffle over one shoulder and a cat in his arms while he tried to walk without tripping over the one weaving between his feet. He tossed the duffel to the end of the bed, falling backwards on it. “Your cats are trying to kill me.”  
Q chuckled softly and shook his head at James. “They just like you.” He continued putting his things away as he bit his lip softly, deep in thought. “Hey, James?”  
He grumbled at the cat in his arms, then twisted his head to look at Q upside down. “Yeah, hon?”  
Q stopped what he was doing, but kept his back to him. “So, um, I’ve been thinking… I was wondering if… Maybe… You’d want to move in with me?” He looked back at him as he waited for his answer.  
Bond’s jaw dropped, or as much as it could when he was tipped backwards. He slowly rolled over, dropping the cat to the bed and moving over towards Q. “You want? Really? Yes, I... Yes.” He swallowed, reaching a hand up to trace Q’s jaw in amazement.  
The Quartermaster grinned happily and leaned forward to kiss him. “Well, it’s not like you were really living in your flat, anyways.”  
James chuckled a bit, leaning in to kiss him again. “Very true. I'll go by tomorrow and pick up my things. Although,” he glanced at his duffle, considering. “I actually have most of my things here already.” He smiled, tangling his fingers into Q’s curls.  
Q nodded with a smiled and leaned in, brushing his nose against Bond’s as he sat on the edge of the bed.   
James closed his eyes and just enjoyed being so close to Q for a moment, then leaned in just enough to lightly brush Q’s lips. He pulled back, then went in again, this time kissing Q properly and stroking one hand down his back to pull him closer.   
Q hummed softly against his lips as he gently placed his free hand on Bond’s chest. His other hand carefully caressed Bond’s cheek.  
James sighed at the feeling of his fingers in Q’s hair, Q’s cool fingers against his face. He stroked Q’s neck with one hand, the other settling on Q’s hip, deepening the angle of the kiss.  
Q moved closer to him, moving into Bond’s lap to straddle his hips as he kissed him deeply, his hands resting on Bond’s shoulders.  
James slipped the hand on Q’s hip under Q’s shirt, slowly tracing the designs he couldn't feel but could picture over Q’s back. The memory brought a little frisson of heat and he quickened the kiss, bringing his other hand down and under Q’s shirt to stroke his soft skin.  
Q leaned into his touch, kissing James as his hands slid down his chest to the hem of his shirt, tugging on it gently.  
James hummed encouragingly as Q’s weight settled on him, sliding his hands up and catching Q’s shirt, breaking the kiss to pull it over Q’s head quickly. He quickly went back to kissing Q, nipping at Q’s lips as his hands stroked across Q’s chest.  
Q leaned into the older man’s touch, kissing him softly. His hands slid Bond’s chest to the hem of his shirt and he tugged on it gently.  
James leaned back, helping Q strip his shirt off him, then fell back, pulling Q on top of him with a grin. He gasped as Q’s hips ground against his own at the movement and providing delicious, barely-there friction. The Quartermaster’s moan sent a shiver through his body. “Will,” James hissed, leaning up to bite Q’s jaw.  
The sounds Q was making were so soft and perfect and James moved to turn them over so he was on top, grinding down on Q as he moved down the younger man’s neck, unable to help sucking and biting a new bruise into Q’s neck near the fading ones from the night at the club. James moaned as the memory of Q in those little lacy panties came back to him. He dragged himself up to the sensitive spot beneath Q’s ear. “Do you remember that night at the club? I know I do, in fact, I recall making you a promise. Do you remember what that was?”  
Q gasped and moaned softly as James bit at his neck, the Quartermaster’s trailing up and down his muscled back. He shook his head at the question, but had a good idea of what he was going to say. “I-I don’t remember much from that night.”  
Bond trailed his lips down Q’s neck again, leaving light wistful kisses on the faded bruises. “A shame. You had a lot of fun.” He pulled back to look Q in the eye. “You begged me to /fuck/ you,” James purred, letting his voice go low and gravelly. “You looked so good, so sweet in those lacy panties. You told me you got them just for me.” He chuckled, stroking Q’s chest. He lightly traced around Q’s nipple, then pinched it harshly to watch him jump and squirm.  
Q gasped and arched into his touch, his face glowing red at Bond’s words. “Is that what you want me to do, James? Beg for you to fuck me?”  
Bond’s eyes darkened at Q’s words and one hand trailed up to clench in the curls at the nape of the younger man’s neck. “Yes,” he growled.  
Q looked up at him, his pale cheeks tinged a bright pink. He leaned up to kiss him deeply before pulling back to whisper to him. “”Fuck me, James. Please… Fuck me so hard that I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”  
James growled against his lips, biting into Q’s mouth before pulling back. “Lube? Condoms?” He murmur into Q’s ear, nipping at his jaw. He almost couldn’t stop himself from leaving another bruise on Q, but he moved down to nip at his clavicle instead.  
Q’s breaths came out in soft, even pants as he waved over toward the nightstand. “Bottom drawer.”  
James reached as much as he could without moving his body from Q’s, fishing around until he found lube and a condom, throwing it to the side for now. He moved back over Q, kissing down the QUartermaster’s body until he was between his legs. Then, making eye contact with Q, James took the head of Q’s cock into his mouth, stroking the shaft with his hand. He slowly worked his way down Q’s cock until he reached the base. James swallowed once, twice, but then pulled off teasingly, mouthing at the head while he continued stroking the shaft with his hand. He let his other hand slip under Q’s leg, pushing it towards Q’s chest. Bond swiped his thumb across the head of Q’s cock a few times, then released it, instead grabbing Q’s other leg and pushing it towards his chest as well. James licked and sucked his way down the inside of Q’s thigh, then sank his teeth gently into the flesh where the back of Q’s thigh met his arse cheek.  
Soft moans and whimpers emanated from Q continuously as James teased him, but he let out a soft yelp when Bond bit the back of his thigh. He brought his hand to gently run his finger’s through the older man’s hair.  
James leaned forward and snagged a pillow from the head of the bed, slipping it under Q’s hips to help support him. Grabbing the lube, he quickly coated two fingers, letting it warm in his hand before sliding the fingers behind Q’s balls. He traced over Q’s perineum, then slowly over his exposed hole. James pressed whisper soft kisses to the inside of Q’s thigh as the muscle twitched beneath his slowly circling fingers. “Okay?”  
The Quartermaster shivered slightly at Bond’s gentle touch, letting out a shaky breath. He closed his eyes and nodded in response as he focused on the sensations. He gripped the sheets slightly, more to wipe off his sweaty palms than anything. It had been awhile.  
James stroked Q’s hip soothingly. “Let me know if it's too much,” he murmured as he let his fingers drag with a little more intention over Q’s hole. His breath caught as he pushed in, the tight heat engulfing his finger for a moment before he pulled out, doing it again and beginning to work on relaxing the muscle.  
Q whimpered softly as he felt James moving his finger and forced himself to relax. He opened his eyes to look down at the older man, watching him.  
James pressed in again, deeper as Q slowly started to relax around him. He exhaled slowly, looking up from where he’d been watching Q’s body slowly begin to open for him and meet your gaze, softly panting as he started a thrusting motion with my finger. James added a twist to the action and felt Q’s body shudder around his finger. He looked back down as he began to add his middle finger alongside his other finger.  
Q sucked in a breath as he felt the stretch of Bond’s second finger entering him. He didn’t take his gaze off the older man, getting lost in his blue eyes.  
Bond thrusted both fingers in, crooking them carefully and gazing at Q looking for... He smirked as Q’s entire body jerked when James slid over Q’s prostate gland. He held the younger man’s gaze as he circled it, passing over it in random patterns so Q couldn't predict his next move. James added more lube to his hand, slicking up another finger as he scissored and thrusted into Q’s slowly relaxing hole. He leaned forward, keeping up the thrusting as he brought Q into a sweet kiss.  
Q’s body jerked every time Bond touched his prostate, letting out soft moans. He kissed him back gently, releasing his grip on the sheets to run his fingers through Bond’s short hair.  
James moaned against Q’s lips as he imagined what the tight heat would feel like around his cock. He quickly slipped the third finger in with little difficulty, resting his head on Q’s shoulder and looking down between their bodies. The Quartermaster’s cock was almost constantly dribbling precum from Bond’s prostate massaging, and the slight of his fingers disappearing between Q’s spread thighs sent a jolt of arousal through his. “Are you ready?” He purred darkly, thrusting against and teasing Q’s prostate.  
Q pushed back against Bond’s fingers, squirming as jolts of pleasure went through his body. He nodded his head, unable to form coherent words, giving him permissions.  
James rolled over, withdrawing his fingers carefully, and finally shucked his trousers and boxers, hissing as the pressure on his cock was released. He quickly opened the condom, shivering slightly at the feeling as he slipped it on. Moving back between your legs, he grabbed the lube and added more slick to his cock. He reached his fingers down to press in again, three slipping in easily. James pulled out after rubbing over Q’s prostate again, unable to help it and grinning at his reaction. He settled one hand on the younger man’s hip and used the other to line up his cock, tracing it over the sensitive skin. “Will,” he whispered, “look at me.”  
Q looked up at James, meeting his eyes. It was still so strange to hear him calling him by his real name. “James…” He breathed out.  
Bond held Q’s gaze, starting to put more pressure into my stroke and dipping just the head of his cock into Q’s hole. “Bear down for me, hon.” He breathed, finally breaking their gaze as he began to push inside of Q. He looked down as he started slowly thrusting in, going a bit deeper each time. His breath stuttered at the sight and feel of his cock slipping into Q’s body.  
The Quartermaster gasped, his back arching as he felt James pushed deeper inside of him. He gripped the sheets again tightly as his eyes fluttered shut.  
James groaned as he bottomed out, the heat and tightness of Q’s body making his hips stutter, thrusting in and out a few times before he could stop himself. “How does that feel? You feel so good around me,” he murmured into Q’s skin, unable to stop talking.  
“God, James,” Q moaned softly as he opened his eyes to look up at him. “It feels… It feels fucking amazing.” He reached up to caress Bond’s cheek gently.  
James hooked Q’s leg over his shoulder, starting to slowly thrust in and out. His eyes were heavy lidded and he panted open-mouthed, unable to look away from Q’s expressive face. The Quartermaster’s cheeks were flushed and his hands seemed to have a mind of their own, clutching at Bond’s hair and stroking over his chest. James slowly moved down, covering Q’s body with his and changing the angle as he searched for Q’s prostate. He moaned as the younger man’s body jerked and clenched around him once I found it, starting to thrust faster, hitting it each time.  
Q’s body jerked and arched with each of Bond’s thrusts as he hit his prostate. He bit down on his lip harshly until it bled, moaning loudly and keeping his eyes on Bond’s.  
James pressed his body on top of Q’s, giving his cock friction against his stomach, and kissed Q softly, licking into his mouth to get him to release his lip. James thrusted deeper into him, moving quickly and powerfully. He pulled Q to him using Q’s shoulders to get leverage as his thrusts were pushing Q away.  
Q released his lip and began to return Bond’s kiss softly, quiet moans emanating from deep within his throat. The friction was so good, but he needed more. He bucked his hips up against James in search of relief.  
James raised himself up onto one elbow, reaching his other hand between them to stroke Q in time with his thrusts. “Are you close, babe?”  
The Quartermaster nodded his head as he let out another moan, bucking up against Bond’s hand. “So close… Please…”  
Bond ducked his head into Q’s neck, mouthing at the sensitive skin as he added a twist to his strokes. He cursed as Q’s hole clenched around him, making him speed my thrusts. James bit into Q”s shoulder, swiping his thumb over the head of Q’s cock.  
Q panted softly as he rocked underneath him. His eyes had shut again when he felt Bond’s mouth on his neck. “James…”  
“Will,” Bond muttered against Q’s heated skin. He sat back, grasping Q’s hip hard enough to leave bruises with one hand, pulling Q onto him as he continued to work Q’s cock with his other hand. James could feel the younger man’s legs quivering, muscles spasming, and toes curling as his orgasm approached.  
Q wrapped his arms around James tightly and raked his nails down the older man’s back as his body arched beneath him. His mouth fell open and his eyes widened as he finally released in heavy spurts between them.  
James stroked him through his orgasm, gasping as his passage clenched around him. Gripping both Q’s hips, he fucked into him in short shallow thrusts, chasing his orgasm. He let out a low groan as he finished, filling the condom. He came down to rest on his elbows above Q, not caring about the mess between them, and kissed Q softly. “Incredible,” he murmured.  
Q came down from his high and relaxed back into the mattress as he gazed up at James. He returned the kiss gently and reached up to run his fingers through the older man’s hair  
James hummed at the touch, eventually pulling back. He grasped the condom at the base of his cock and pulled out as gently as he could. Still, he winced in sympathy as Q’s hole clenched at the sudden emptiness. He stood and walked to the bathroom, tossing the condom and wetting a flannel to bring back to the room with him. He settled back on the bed after he cleaned Q up, spooning against his back. “How do you feel, babe?” He pressed kisses to the back of Q’s neck.  
“Tired,” Q replied with a soft yawn as he curled back against him. He purred softly at the feeling of Bond’s lips on his neck.  
James smiled into Q’s skin, inhaling deeply and sighing contentedly at the smell of sex and sweat and /Q/. He twisted to turn the lights off, cuddling back up to Q happily. “Goodnight, love,” he whispered, half asleep already.   
Q smiled softly at the name, but didn’t say anything about it. He just closed his eyes, content to be in Bond’s arms. “Goodnight, James.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're on Tumblr! 
> 
> Redvines1595: http://delusional-writer.tumblr.com/
> 
> littlewerewolftori13: http://little-werewolf-tori.tumblr.com/


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning: Bond talks about past non con.

James woke up on his back with Q sprawled on top of him. He smiled down at Q and dozed lightly for some time longer until he woke. 

Q let out a soft sigh as he finally woke, rubbing his eyes. He looked over at James with a small smile.

Bond blinked fully awake as Q moved against him, grinning down at the younger man. “Mmm good morning, babe. Sleep well?” He murmured.

Q nodded with a smile and pecked Bond’s lips gently. “What about you?”

James hummed into the kiss. “Definitely, had lots of good dreams.” He smirked at Q, starting to stretch and trying not to dislodge him.

The Quartermaster sat up slowly and reached for his glasses before putting them on. Yawning softly, he sat up and went over to the dresser, pulling on some sweatpants. “Breakfast?”

Bond yawned, leaning over the side of the bed to grab pants. “Mm, yeah. I'll make coffee, you want some?” Q nodded in response and Bond watched as he went back to the bathroom. James smiled, pushing himself out of bed and slipping his pants on. He walked down the hall to the kitchen, starting to make coffee. He grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and filled them with the warm liquid.

“Good morning, Bond.”

The agent twisted around as the voice sounded out. “Moneypenny?” He questioned mildly as he slipped the knife he had instinctively grabbed from Q’s set back onto the counter. “What are you doing here?”

“I was about to ask the same thing,” Q said from where he stood in the hallway. He had quickly finished his shower before making his way out to the kitchen to meet James for breakfast.

James grumbled, sipping from his mug of coffee. “Drinking all our coffee, turning the cats against me.” He put his cup down and came up behind Q, hugging his waist and fake glaring at her over Q’s shoulder. “It's you she wants. Make her go away.” He smiled when Q rolled his eyes and leaned up to kiss his chin before going over to Eve. James turned back to to the kitchen to look for food.

“Did you have a good time?” Moneypenny asked, ruffling through her bag. “Here's your spare keys. The cats were fine while you were away.”

Q smiled, nodding as he took the keys from her. “Yeah, it was nice. I definitely needed it.”

She glanced over Q’s shoulder at James and lowered her voice. “Yeah, it looks like it was /very/ nice, for both of you.” She smirked.

The Quartermaster felt his face heat up at her words and cleared his throat. “Right. How’s MI6 managing without us?”

“Fine,” Eve sighed dramatically. “Don't tell the one who set all this up for you... It was actually a pretty clean week. We didn't have that one blowing up buildings and 006 seems to be behaving, which I can't tell is more suspicious or him pouting because Bond has been out.” She grinned.

Q chuckled softly. “Well, I’m glad there haven’t been any major mishaps.” He leaned in close to whisper to her so Bond wouldn’t hear. “I’ll tell you about the trip later.”

Moneypenny giggled, then leaned back. “Okay, I'll leave you two to your morning… Have fun!” She whispered, quickly exiting the flat.

Q watched her go with a small smile before going to meet James in the kitchen. The older man hummed and passed him a mug of coffee. “What'd she want?”

“Just to return the keys,” Q replied with a shrug. “Speaking of…” He pulled the keys out of his pocket and handed them to Bond. “You’ll be needing these.”

James took the keys, blinking down at them before a slow smile spread across his face. He leaned in and kissed Q gently. “This is one piece of equipment you've given me that I won't lose,” he whispered. “Or blow up accidentally.”

Q chuckled softly and pecked his lips once more before sipping his coffee. “You’d better not.”

Bond grinned at him, leaning back against the counter. “I can't make any promises.”

“It won’t be my problem. You’ll just be locked out,” he shrugged.

James smirked, looking at Q around the edge of his cup as he took a drink. “You think I couldn't get past a little lock?”

Q rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his coffee before setting the empty mug in the sink. He leaned in a pressed a light kiss to Bond’s cheek. “Go get dressed. We’re going out.

James looked at Q, surprised, then downed the rest of my cup as well. “We are?” He asked, already turning to make my way down the hall.

Q smiled as he watched him go, his eyes lingering on the agent’s arse for a moment. “Yeah, don’t dress up too much.”

James glanced up just in time to see the direction of Q’s eyes and paused, leaning against the wall and letting the loose pants he wore hang low around his hips. “I'm going to shower quick, but are you sure you want me to dress up at all?”

Q’s eyes traveled back up Bond’s body to meet his eyes. “Just something casual. It’s not like we’re going to the opera or anything.” He shrugged.

James stared at Q for a second, nonplussed, but smiled. “Right, I'll be out soon.” He turned and walked down the hall.

Q watched him go, slightly confused. Then it dawned on him, his eyes widening. “That’s what he meant! I am an idiot.” He scratched the back of his head, his face flushed bright red.

James came out after a short while, dressed in a black clinging t-shirt and jeans. He grabbed his jacket. “Ready, dear?”

The Quartermaster blinked a few times when he saw him and nodded his head. “Yeah. Yes. Let’s go.”

James glanced at Q mischievously, but led their way out of the building, opening the door for Q. “Where to hon?” He grabbed Q’s hand.

“It’s a surprise,” Q smirked. He led the older man out to the sidewalk, just walking with him for awhile.

James followed him, enjoying the beautiful day and looking at Q. He was happy to see Q looking so serene.

Q led him through the city for awhile until they arrived at a small cafe. He opened the door for James, who stepped in and looked around before turning to smile at Q. Q returned the smile before following him inside to a table in the back. He bit his lip as he pulled out a chair. James raised a brow at him, smiling a bit as he took a seat. Q sat across from him and brushed his hair from his eyes with an irritated expression.

James smiled fondly, holding Q’s hand above the table. “So, what are we doing here then, babe?”

“Having lunch,” Q replied with a shrug of his shoulders as a waitress brought them some menus.

The two of them looked over their menus, enjoying the afternoon together. Q gently ran his thumb over Bond’s knuckles, smiling softly as the waitress returned to take their order. They returned their menus before she left them. 

James looked at Q, considering. He was so full of contentment just sitting here with him, in a way that Bond mostly could only reach by finishing a trying mission, or working out until his muscles ached. James turned his head slightly, looking blankly behind Q as he tried to figure out this feeling. Normally, being so long without a mission, even when injured, would drive him crazy. But he had only felt this way once before. He shut his eyes in realization. James loved Q. He was in love with him. He blinked his eyes open as Q squeezed his hand, meeting Q’s gaze. ‘I /love/ you’, James said clearly in his mind, dazed.

Q raised a brow as he looked James over. There was something different about him. Something had changed but he wasn’t sure what it was. “Everything okay, love?” he asked, not really thinking about the name.

It felt like James was sitting under the sun, warmth surrounding him at Q’s casual words. “Everything is fantastic,” he grinned, squeezing Q’s hand.

Q smiled back at him gently as the waitress returned with their food. He thanked her and reluctantly let go of Bond’s hand to begin eating. They ate quickly, Bond glancing around the room habitually, but still focused on Q. Neither of them could remember the last time they had been so happy and at ease.

James finished his food, sitting back. “So, what's on for the rest of the evening?” He asked, rubbing a hand over his neck. He glanced at Q and stroked across his chest, looking at Q with heavy lidded eyes and a slow smile. “I could probably think of a few things we could do if we had the time…”

Q took a sip of his water, nearly choking at Bond’s words. He coughed a few times before clearing his throat. “Jesus, Bond…” He shook his head. “We’re going dancing.”

James smirked as Q coughed, leaning forward to see if he was okay, then straightened up at his words. “We are?” He grinned.

“Yes, we are,” Q nodded, taking another sip of water.

James brightened at his words. “Where are we going?”

“I’m not telling you,” he said with a smug smile as the waitress returned with the bill. He pulled out his wallet and placed a few notes on the table.

Bond stood quickly, holding a hand out to help Q up. “At least tell me how far away it is?”

“No, Bond.” He shook his head, taking his hand and leading him out of the cafe.

James tried not to show his disappointment and let Q lead him, squinting against the low sun. He glanced at Q in the sunlight, seeing the way his skin shown in the light and his eyes sparkled. His breath caught for a moment and he felt warmth working up the back of his neck. “So- uh, what, I don't even get a hint?” He smiled, trying to act normally.

Q looked up at him with a raised brow and shook his head. “No. You already got your hint.”

James swiveled his head, quickly taking in the area they were in. There were three clubs he knew of in the area, and a few places that offered dancing, but nothing that Q would be interested in. “La Rosa?”

Q shook his head again with a roll of his eyes. “Just shut up. We’re almost there.”

His brow furrowed. “Sotto? /Flynt's/?” He added doubtfully.

“No, James. Now stop asking.”

James silently pouted, sending Q glances and trying to keep a straight face as they moved. He noticed as Q gave him a sideways glance, smirking as he opened a door for him. James stepped in, still not quite paying attention until he heard the music. He turned, taking in the scene, and a huge grin took over his face. “How did you know?” He asked, looking at the large floor that had pairs dancing, swinging, and from what it looked like, having a blast. It looked like a younger group than the places he used to go to, but it was a lively crowd and he could see them cheering each other on as they tried new flips and moves. “You know I said /I/ was going to take you to a joint like this, right?” He grinned at Q, pulling him in farther with him.

Q chuckled softly as he followed James inside, taking a look around. It wasn’t what he was used to, but he was willing to give it a try, for Bond. “Well, I just beat you to it. Come on, let’s get a table.”

James followed his Quartermaster to a table, setting down his jacket and ordering a water, looking for the rules. Finding them, he saw that there were few rules, but it looked like a safe joint, so he turned to Q. “Do you know how to swing? Or Lindy hop?”

Q shook his head with a shrug of his shoulders. “I’ve never even been to one of these places before.”

James smiled at him. “That's okay, I can teach you. We'll have you swingin’ like a pro by the time we leave.” He grabbed Q’s hand with a grin, starting to pull the younger man to the floor with him. 

Q stumbled hesitantly after James, wincing as he attracted the stares of a few of the couples already occupying the floor. He rearranged his face into a weak smile as James turned to look at him, taking both of Q’s hands in his. 

“One thing you have to remember about this is that a lot of the moves rely on equilibrium. It’s going to feel like I’m throwing you around, but you have to trust that I’ll catch you.” James smiled brightly, taking a step back. “Just follow my lead.”

It was… Interesting at first, but after practicing basic steps, it started to make some sort of sense in Q’s head and he managed to actually have some fun by the end. Hours later, he finally pulled James off the floor, leading him out of the building.

Q held Bond’s hand, their fingers laced together, and leaned against him a bit as they walked back to his- to /their/ flat. He looked up at him with a smile. “So, you had fun, then?”

James smiled down at him, grabbing the keys to the flat, /his keys/. “I did, it's been awhile since I've been to a scene like that. Did you have fun? You know, once you got the moves down a bit, you were pretty good.” He grinned, letting them inside.

Q rolled his eyes at him with a smile as they entered the flat, slipping off his shoes. “Oh, please. I was terrible. It was a lot of fun, though.”

Bond stepped up behind him after toeing off his shoes. He grabbed Q’s hand in one of his own and placed his other around the younger man’s waist, pulling Q against him and swinging their hips, humming. “You were the most enchanting person on that floor,” he whispered.

Q leaned back against him with a small smile, closing his eyes as they swayed. He moved fluidly as James gently spun him around; the agent wrapped his arms around him and kissed the tip of his nose, causing the younger man to blush softly. Q smiled up at him and placed his hands on Bond’s shoulders, one moving further to card his fingers through the hair at the nape of Bond’s neck. A shiver went through the Quartermaster’s body as James moved his hand up and down Q’s neck and back, leaning in to kiss him. Q returned the kiss gently with a small smile on his lips, gripping Bond’s shirt in his hand. James took a few steps forward until Q’s back hit the wall, causing the younger man to gasp softly in surprise as their kiss deepened.

James kissed him deeply, tenderly, stroking one hand through Q’s curls. “Do you want to take this to the bedroom?” He murmured in a deep voice, pressing soft kisses to Q’s pulse point, feeling Q’s heartbeat against his lips. He smirked a bit at the shaky breath that escaped Q’s lips, standing straight again as Q pulled away to look into his eyes. 

He smiled when his Quartermaster nodded his consent. James walked backwards as he led Q back to the bedroom. He sat when his legs his the bed and laid back, pulled Q with him. The Quartermaster practically laid on top of him as he kissed him again. James hummed into their kiss, loving Q’s weight on him. He smoothed his hands down Q’s back, slipping his hands under the younger man’s shirt. 

Q nipped at Bond’s lower lip, as he balanced on his knees, unbuttoning his cardigan and shrugging it off before working on his shirt. James smoothed his fingers over Q’s shoulders, running his hands down his Quartermaster’s arms to brush his shirt off in one go as Q finished unbuttoning. Their fingers laced together as Q trapped Bond’s hands by his sides. Q kissed him again and slowly began to rock his hips, enjoying being in charge for once.

James gasped at Q’s movements, trying to gain leverage so he could move against him, but how Q held him was just enough to keep him in place. He squirmed under Q slightly, feeling strangely helpless.

Q rocked against him more, grinding his hips down against Bond’s. He released one of the agent’s hands, and moved his over Bond’s chest, gently rubbing his nipples through his shirt.

Bond gasped at the younger man’s touch, arching into his hand. He settled his hand on Q’s hip, finally getting some leverage to push up against him, taking the chance to try and roll them so he was on top. However, Q braced himself and leaned into Bond, not letting the agent roll him off. James grunted as he was pushed back down, opening his mouth to say something, but gasped as Q bit along his sensitive neck instead. 

Q continued kissing down Bond’s collarbone, where he nipped and sucked until a dark mark began to form. He wanted to leave more, but he knew that they wouldn’t fade before they had to return to work.

James shivered against Q’s ministrations, a moan falling from his lips without permission. His heartbeat picked up quickly. He tried to sit up a bit, using his elbow to prop him up before trying to move them again. But Q pushed him back down once more, grinding his hips against him as he began to push up the agent’s shirt. 

James bucked his hips up against Q, the feeling of the younger man’s fingers on his bare skin making him unsure of whether he was trying to buck Q off or encourage him. “Q,” he hissed, getting up on his elbows again, which just encouraged Q to slip his shirt higher. He watched as the Quartermaster bent his head to kiss his chest as his hand rubbed against Bond’s nipples. James whined at the feeling of Q’s mouth on his skin, gasping out again. “Q, please!”

“Please, what?” Q smirked as he pushed Bond’s shirt up higher, running his tongue over the agent’s tanned skin.

“Ah!” The slick warmth followed by coolness made Bond’s muscles jerk, his shoulders hitching. “Please, wait!” He gasped out, unable to catch his breath.

Q stopped abruptly and sat up, looking down at him worriedly. “James?” He whispered.

James took deep breaths as he tried to control himself, wiping at the slight wetness on his cheeks. He was embarrassed under Q’s gaze. “I'm sorry,” he whispered, unable to meet Q’s gaze, looking just past him.

Q shook his head and got off of him, sitting cross-legged next to him on the bed. He wanted to reach out to James, but he didn’t want to trigger something else. “James… Baby, I need you to talk to me. Are you okay?”

James slowly sat up, moving to mirror Q’s position. “Yeah,” he sighed. “No? I don't know. I'm sorry, I don't know what…” He knew exactly what, his mind going to a memory that he had carefully reviewed a thousand times. “It's my fault,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“James…” Q reached over and took his hand. “You have nothing to apologize for. It’s not your fault.”

The agent nodded quietly. “It is my fault. It was my fault.” He could feel his natural barriers trying to come up and stop him from talking, but this wasn't some MI6 appointed therapist. This was /Q/. He knew he could trust him, and he would help him. He just had to find a way to keep talking.

“What was your fault?” Q tried to remember everything he had come across when he had read Bond’s file. “James, talk to me. Please.”

James sucked in a sharp breath, slowly rearranging his shirt to cover him again. “It was- there was…” He sighed, closing his eyes.

Q frowned a bit and leaned in to press a gentle kiss to the agent’s forehead. “Take your time,” he whispered. “I’ll still be here.”

Bond nodded, leaning into Q’s kiss, then moved to get up. “I'm getting wine, you want some?”

“Uh, sure,” he nodded. They both needed it.

James nodded and left, returning with the still full bottle and two wine glasses. He poured Q some, handing it to him. He filled his glass as well, taking a healthy sip as he put the bottle down.

Q took a sip from his glass before looking up at James, searching the agent’s face for answers. “James… No matter what happened in your past… It won’t change the way I feel about you.”

James took another large sip and looked up at Q, exhaling shakily, then nodding. “It- ah. Hmm. I was on a mission, it was a while back, before you joined MI6. I needed to seduce a target, get the information, get it back to Q branch so they could send me on the next leg of the mission. The next in a line of quite a few at that point, as we were helping take out a rather large operation spread all throughout London and Europe in general. But the target wasn't useful, she knew nothing. However, I happened to know that her husband did, and that he liked to have long nights at a nearby club, where he met for business.”

Q bit his lip harshly as he listened. “So… You changed tactics, right?”

The agent nodded, swallowing down the rest of his glass. “I did. I remember the feeling of dread hitting me as he noticed me, exactly as I planned, but his eyes were cold, and calculating. As he looked me over, I purposely dropped my confident look, letting my gaze drop, to call him over to me. And it worked, but he… He was vicious. He was dominating and I played right into it, letting him lead me however he wanted. He-” His breath hitched. “He, ah, he forced himself on me, and I let him. He didn't prepare me, or use lube, he just fucked me, and I.. I /liked/ it. I came from it. I got the information in the end and moved on to the next target, and that’s all that matters. But, I just... He held me down, and it was nothing like how you were with me, but I couldn't… I couldn't breathe…” He looked away, refilling his glass.

“Oh, god. James…” Q set his glass aside and moved closer to wrap his arms around Bond, shaking his head.

James pressed into Q’s touch, relaxing a bit between him and the alcohol. “It was my fault. I knew what he was, what he would do… I encouraged it, and I'm such a slut that I enjoyed it even. Lay back and think of England.” He scoffed, trying not to drain his glass.

Q shook his head and pressed his lips to Bond’s forehead once more. “Don’t say that… Baby, please don’t say that.”

Bond frowned, but took another sip of his wine, not saying anything.

“James, look at me. Please.” He placed his hand on the older man’s cheek.

The agent turned his eyes, to look at Q, carefully following the pressure of Q’s hand to face him fully.

“James…” Q said softly. “It wasn’t your fault. It doesn’t matter if you… If you liked it or not. It’s not your fault.”

Bond huffed, looking at Q. “Yeah, then it's England's fault. then it's M's fault. It's that fucking man’s fault. We could play the blame game. It doesn't stop the fact that I can't-” He blew out a harsh breath, shaking Q’s hand off his face. “I can't get past it. Even now. Even with..” ‘The one I love,’ he finished in his head.

Q watched him, just the sound of Bond’s voice breaking his heart. “Then let me help you, James. We can get through this together. No matter how long it takes… I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

James looked at his almost empty wine glass, then turned and carefully placed it on the bedside table. He turned his head as far as he could to look back at Q without moving his body. “Q…” He turned more fully towards him. “I…” He couldn't say it, so he pushed forward until his head is buried in Q’s shoulder. 'I love you,’ he mouthed into Q’s skin.

Q let out a shaky breath as he wrapped his arms around James tightly, kissing the top of his head. “I’ve got you, James. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”

James turned his head, kissing Q’s neck, then up his jaw. He pressed kisses softly to the corner of Q’s mouth, then straight on his lips. “Q,” he whispered against the Quartermaster’s lips, letting his arms wind around the younger man’s neck.

Q placed his hands on Bond’s hips, pulling back to look at him and shake his head. “James… You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

He looked down, slightly uneasy, not knowing how to say what he needed to say. “Q, I... I trust you. I /want/ you... I want to give you every part of me. I've never told /anyone/ that story, but I don't want you to think of me or treat me any differently because of it.”

“James…” Q smiled a bit sadly and placed his hand on Bond’s cheek. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I just want to make sure that this is what you really want, that you’re ready for this.”

The agent met his gaze, feeling warmth fill him up and recognizing it for what it was. “I... Q, I love you. I'm sure,” he said steadily.

Q stared at him for a moment, mouth slightly agape. A smile slowly began to form on his face and he leaned in to kiss him. He kissed him lovingly, hoping to show James how he felt even though he wasn’t quite ready to say it yet.

James kissed him back. He pressed closer to him, but didn’t dominate the kiss like he normally would. He hummed into the kiss, placing his hands on Q’s hips,and slowly stroking up his rib cage. He lightly trailed his fingers up.

Q slowly began to push Bond’s shirt up again, his fingers gently trailing across the agent’s body. James sighed at the touch, more comfortable when he wasn't restrained on the bed. Bond pressed into the kiss a bit more, feeling loved. 

The Quartermaster pulled Bond’s shirt up over his head and tossed it aside. He made sure to pay closer attention to him, not wanting to trigger more bad memories.

James carefully turned to lay back, head on the pillows, and brought Q with him. He still felt okay, not feeling restrained.

Q leaned over the older man, kissing him gently as he ran his fingers through his hair. He brought one of his hands down to gently run it over Bond’s chest and down to his jeans.

The agent panted, watching Q and arching his hips. He tried to make Q move faster, to touch him harder. “Q,” he whispered, rolling his hips against his hand.

“Easy, love…” Q smiled softly and unbuttoned Bond’s jeans, pulling down the zipper before running his hands over the older man’s hips.

James rolled his head to the side, panting shallowly. “Please Q…” He shivered at his Quartermaster’s touch, trying to relax and enjoy it.

Q kissed down Bond’s chest gently as he pulled the agent’s jeans down from his hips. He pulled them off completely before slipping his fingers under the waistband of Bond’s underwear, tugging slightly as he looked down at him. Q pulled them down and leaned in to kiss James again as he reached into the bedside table for lube. “You’re still sure about this?”

James nodded frantically, lifting his hips. “Yes. Yes, please.”

Q nodded and kissed him once more before pulling back, pushing up Bond’s knees and spreading his legs. He popped open the bottle of lube and squeezed some onto his fingers, warming it up. “Ready?”

James inhaled, pushing himself up on an elbow. He slid his hand behind Q’s head to pull him into a kiss. “Yes Q. I want you. I want you to have all of me.”

Q nodded and kept his eyes on Bond’s face, searching for any signs of pain as he carefully pushed his finger into him. He gently caressed the older man’s knee. “That’s it, James… I’ve got you.”

James gasped at the feeling of being spread, being open beneath Q, and had a strange urge to cover himself. “Oh, god,” he panted, looking at Q, feeling his eyes on him. “Yes,” he hissed out. He breathed around the unfamiliar feeling, but maybe because it was the situation, or the position, or just Q, he wasn't reminded of his past experience. He relaxed as well he could, rolling his hips to explore the feeling.

Q moved his hand up to gently massage Bond’s hip before returning it to his knee. “How’s that, love?”

James exhaled softly, bringing his hand on top of Q’s where it's resting on his knee. “Good,” he whispered. “It's good. More. Please.”

Q nodded his head, waiting another minute before pushing a second finger into him. He continued to watched his face closely.

James gasped at the feeling, waiting out the slight burn. He moved slightly, letting out a choked off moan as Q slid deliciously farther inside.

Q kissed Bond’s knee gently as he continued to stretch him, adding some more lube to his fingers the make sure that he’s comfortable. “You’re doing so well, James.”

The agent whined a little at the praise, shifting under Q’s touch and panting. “Q! God, yes, please!” He rolled his hips, trying to fuck himself on Q’s fingers.

Q smiled a bit and pushed a third finger into him, wanting to make sure that he is well-prepared for this. If Q hurt him, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

James shuddered, jerking erratically as Q accidentally brushed against his prostate. “Ah, yes! Q!” He sobbed, never having felt pleasure like this. It expanded like waves across his whole body, making his fingers twitch and his toes curl deliciously. He opened his eyes, not knowing when they had closed, and looked up at Q desperately.

The Quartermaster smiled at him and searched around until his fingers brushed against Bond’s prostate once more. “Are you ready, love?”

James nodded, biting his lip. He couldn't believe how different this experience was, that this is what Q could give to him. He blinked quickly as his eyes prickled when Q called him ‘love’. He inhaled deeply, body shuddering delicately as Q brushed his prostate again before withdrawing, making him huff in discomfort.

Q nodded in return and gently removed his fingers before reaching into the drawer for a condom. He pulled it out of the wrapper and slid it on before squeezing some more lube onto his fingers to stroke himself. He held Bond’s hips gently and leaned down to kiss him as he lined himself up. “Ready?”

James kissed him back, bringing his hands up to stroke up Q’s back. “Yes,” he murmured against his lips, rocking against where the blunt head of Q’s cock rested against his hole. His breath caught at the feeling, a distant panicky feeling flitting around him for a moment. He remembered how it had felt when Geovan had forced his way inside him, but it dissolved when Q kissed him again.

Q nodded and kissed him again. “Just remember, it’s okay if you need me to stop.”

James smiled into the kiss, nipping at Q’s lip. “I'll let you know.” He looked up at him, feeling so warm. “I love you,” he whispered.

Q smiled back, kissing James once again in an attempt to distract him as he slowly pushed himself into him.

James gasped and moaned into Q’s mouth as he pushed into him, the dull stinging not affecting him as much as the feeling of being so full. Q felt huge and hot and James panted erratically as he finally bottomed out, filling him so completely his mind went momentarily blank. He made a vague whining noise against Q’s lips, rolling his hips curiously to see how it felt.

Q pulled away from the agent’s lips, looking over his face for any sign of pain. When he was sure James was alright, Q slowly pulled out before pushing back into him.

James stared up at him, sighing and closing his eyes as he pushed back in. He dragged his fingers down Q’s back to rest on his hips, feeling his muscles flex as his pushed in. “Ah, god, Q,” he groaned throatily.

Q continued to slowly thrust his hips in and out of him, soft grunts escaping from his throat. Even when he was in school, he hadn’t been much of a top. But he had to admit, it felt good to be inside of James.

James let out a small moan every time Q pushed in. He started to rock up against him, gasping at the increased feeling.

Q let out a soft groan when James began to rock against him and moved his hips faster.

James cried out as one of Q’s thrusts nudged against his prostate. He sobbed for breath, angling his hips so each of Q’s thrusts would hit the spot. “Oh, god. Yes, please, Q. Please. Right there! Harder!” James moaned out, hoping his words were intelligible.

Q angled himself to make sure that he hit Bond’s prostate with every thrust of his hips. “James…” He moaned lowly.

The agent was moaning loudly now with every thrust. His cheeks flushed at the thought of how he must look, writhing against the sheets beneath Q like this. Every single thrust was directly against his prostate and he was getting closer and closer to his orgasm, muscles twitching as it approached.

Q continued to thrust his hips, gazing down at James as he writhed beneath him. It was amazing to him that he was the one that put the agent in this state.

James reached to his own cock with one hand, desperate to come. He didn’t know if he could from this alone, or if it would keep him on this tortuous but amazing edge forever.

Q looked down between them and placed his hand over Bond’s. He gently pushed the agent’s hand aside so that he could stroke James himself.

James whined as Q pushed his hand away, but cried out as the Quartermaster started stroking him in time with his thrusts. It felt like no time at all that he was about to come. “I'm-, god Q, I'm gonna-” His words became a cry of pleasure as Q twisted his hand around the head of his cock and he was gone, white streaking across his chest and stomach as his muscles clenching around Q.

The Quartermaster continued to stroke him through his orgasm as he groaned at the feeling of James clenching around him. It only took a few more thrusts before Q was releasing into the condom, moaning. He placed his hands on the mattress, on either side of James, bracing himself as he looked down at him.

James looked up at him, panting. His whole body throbbed in time with his heartbeat and it felt like his joints had turned to liquid.

Q took a moment to catch his breath before slowly pulling out of James. The agent winced, a bit uncomfortable, but relaxed. Q pressed a soft kiss to Bond’s cheek before getting up, heading to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and get a wet flannel to clean up with. When he returned, he sat next to James on the bed and gently ran the rag over his stomach as his other hand reached up to run his fingers through Bond’s hair. James smiled up at Q, leaning lazily into his hand, feeling absolutely thrashed. When Q finished, James caught up one of his hands, tugging him towards him. “Thank you, love,” he whispered sleepily.

Q smiled and leaned in to kiss the agent gently before laying down and curling up next to him. “That was okay, right? I didn’t hurt you?”

“It was wonderful,” James nearly purred, still feeling boneless. He realized that he had nothing to compare it to. He had never felt anything like it before. ‘Seemed to be the theme with everything you were involved with’, he thought, smiling and cuddling closer to Q.

The Quartermaster smiled happily and let out a sigh of relief as he ran his fingers through Bond’s hair.

James hummed at Q’s touch, nuzzling into his curls and pressing kisses to his temples. He was quickly fading now, nodding off.

Q waited until James was fully asleep to close his eyes. He was still a bit worried, but the older man seemed to be fine. After awhile, he managed to drift off, exhausted from everything they had done that day.


	23. Chapter 23

James groaned, low-pitched, when he woke, an unfamiliar soreness settled low in his hips. As he processed, the memories of last night came back to him. He hummed, stretching as much as he could. The agent turned his head to look at Q with a smile, looking over his relaxed, sleeping face. He rolled closer to Q and sighed quietly at the still strange soreness.

The Quartermaster felt Bond move next to him and slowly opened his eyes, looking up at him with a yawn and a small smile. “Mmm… Morning, love.”

Bond leaned in, pecking Q’s lips. “Good morning, sunshine,” he murmured, grinning a bit.

Q smiled and reached up to run his fingers through Bond’s hair. “How are you feeling?”

James twisted his expression, a mix of grimace and smile. “Good. Sore, but good. I…” He turned his face a bit. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Q leaned in to kiss him gently with a smile. “Thank you for opening up to me.”

The agent kissed him back, settling back on the pillow. He placed his hand on the side of Q’s head, stroking his thumb along the younger man’s cheekbone. “I trust you,” he murmured. “I love you.”

Q smiled and kissed him once more before sitting up. “Come on. We should get ready for work.”

James groaned, pushing up onto his elbow. “Easy for you to say,” he mumbled, wincing as he sat up. But he didn't disagree.

“You’ll get used to it,” Q chuckled and went to take a shower. He left the door open a crack as he turned on the water, waiting a moment before stepping under the hot stream.He hummed softly to himself as he shampooed his hair.

James smiled, pushing himself up to standing. Going in meant he was going to get so much shit from Alec. Especially if he’s limping. The agent sighed, stretching until there was a satisfying pop in his lower back. 'Painkillers then', he thought, slipping into the bathroom.

James heard Q humming softly as he rifled through the medicine cabinet. He smiled, stopping and leaning against the wall for a second, just listening for a moment. Bond stepped forward, pushing the curtain out of the way and stepping in. He moved one hand to catch the soap Q would probably drop as he wrapped his other around the younger man’s waist and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck.

Q’s humming faltered as James stepped in behind him. He bit his lip softly as he leaned back against him.

James sighed happily, kissing Q’s jaw and enjoying the moment. Warm soothing water, his Quartermaster in his arms, it almost felt surreal.

Q smiled and looked up at him, placing his hands over Bond’s. It was hard to believe they were going back to work today.

Taking the shampoo, James stepped back a bit, washing his hair. He smiled as Q took the soap back from him and continued the song where he had left off. The agent stepped forward to rinse, then turned and helped wash Q’s back, slowly massaging at his muscles. His Quartermaster kept humming as he leaned back into Bond’s touch as the agent worked up his neck, then brought him under the spray to rinse. James kissed behind Q’s ear and hummed quietly with him.

Q smiled and turned around to kiss James gently. He took the soap from his and began to wash him in return.

The agent sighed, leaning into Q’s touch. He had really enjoyed this time with him. This had been the first time James had enjoyed anything domestic for so long, that he didn't really mind if he went back to work or not. It was a foreign concept. He /always/ ached for that adrenaline rush that came with a mission; he almost felt lost without it. But he wasn't lost. He had Q.

Q stepped aside to let James rinse off before getting out of the shower and grabbing a towel to dry off before going to the bedroom to get dressed. He loved spending time with James, but he still missed work.

Bond quickly rinsed, following Q out and toweling off. Leaving the towel wrapped around my waist, he wandered to the kitchen for coffee. He handed Q a cup as he walked in, kissing him on the cheek. “Breakfast?”

Q took the cup from him with a smile, sipping from it. “Not hungry.”

James frowned, tutting. “Most important meal of the day, love.” He opened the fridge, looking through what they had. “You won't even take an egg on toast?”

Q shook his head, sipping some more of his coffee. “I’ll eat later. Promise.” He looked up at him with a small smile.

The agent sighed, closing the door and quickly beginning his own breakfast. “I'll hold you to that, then,” he smiled.

Q smiled back a bit and downed the rest of his coffee, setting his mug in the sink before going to get his bag ready.

James leaned against the counter to eat, washing up quickly afterwards. He walked down the hall to the bedroom, going to get dressed.

Q refilled the cat bowls and went back to the bedroom to check on him. “You coming, love? We’re going to be late.”

James quickly finished pulling on his shirt, grabbing his jacket. “Of course dear. Let's go.” He pass Q, slipping on his shoes quickly and holding the door open. “Should we grab a cab?”

“Sure,” Q nodded with a smile. He pulled his bag onto his shoulder, kissing James lightly before heading out the door.

James followed him and hailed a cab, getting in behind Q and looking out the window as they pulled away from the curb. He leaned back against the seat, putting his arm along the back and relaxing.

“Excited to be going back?” Q asked as he leaned against him a bit.

James hummed, turning to press a kiss to Q’s forehead. “Yeah, of course. I'm sure they've had a nice break from me, time to make sure things haven't gotten lax without me there,” he chuckled.

Q smiled a bit and nodded. “I just know everything’s going to be a mess when I get down to Q Branch.”

“I can come with you if you want, help straighten things out?” He smirked.

The Quartermaster shook his head and nudged him. “No. I’m afraid you’d only distract me.”

James nodded, stroking the hair out of Q’s face. “I can be very distracting,” he said, leaning in teasingly to just a hair’s breadth from Q’s lips and looking into his eyes charmingly.

Q rolled his eyes at him with a fond smile and pecked his lips slightly. “That’s exactly my point.”

James moved in to kiss Q again, but the cabbie cleared his throat. “Knock that off. You're here,” he muttered. Bond scoffed and pecked Q’s lips, then paid him. He stepped out and closed the door behind him.

Q got out of the cab and headed inside. He reached for Bond’s hand and gave it a light squeeze before heading down to Q Branch.

James watched him go for a moment, then turned to go up to M's office. After being debriefed, he went to the gym, putting in a good couple hours of work before Alec walked in. “Heard you were back finally. How was your honeymoon, I mean, holiday?” He smirked at James, coming up and clapping his hand on Bond’s shoulder.

Bond chuckled, shoving at him. “A lot more fun for me than you, it sounds like. I heard you've been practically tame since I left. Is it just to put them on edge or did you really miss me?”

“Well you wouldn’t know, since you’ve been gone fucking our Quartermaster.” Alec batted back lightly, starting to playfully spar.

“What, are you jealous? Is it getting harder to pull? Missions not going well for you? I thought all you had to do was bat those pretty brown eyes and even an assassin would swoon.” James caught a slow punch and pulled Alec into a headlock, tousling his hair teasingly. 

“It’s no fun when my wingman acquired a ball and chain that could end nations in his sleep.” James pushed Alec away, turning to go to the locker room.

“Don’t forget that my ‘ball and chain’ has access to these cameras and the means to make your life hell.” James knocked on the doorway twice with a grin, leaving Alec to look worriedly around the room.

After catching up with Alec, James went to find an office to work on the paperwork he had built up. He was leaving on a mission later that night, so he needed to get at least some of it done before he could get someone else to do the rest. He wanted to go visit Q to bring him food at some point, too, so he would need to hurry.

James braked from the paperwork, glancing at the clock. He looked at how much he had gotten done and sighed, placing down his pen. Good enough for now. He stood, gathering everything and placing it in a secure box, leaving it to come back later. He dialed up the Chinese place that delivered to HQ, ordering food. Picking it up from the front door, James made his way down to Q branch.

~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as Q had entered Q Branch, R was at his side, filling him in on what he had missed. To his surprise, they had stayed caught up with everything. There had been a couple of minor malfunctions that Q had fixed quickly before going back to his office and getting to work.

Q had been informed of Bond’s mission and got everything prepared for that before checking in on the Smart Blood program. Everything seemed to be working properly and Bond’s vitals were all normal, at which he let out a soft sigh of relief. He spent the rest of the day catching up on project approvals and security upgrades around Q Branch.

Later, Q sat at his desk, chewing at the end of a pencil as he stared at his monitor. He was reading over Bond’s mission in more detail. It was so simple, he wondered why M chose James to do it and not some other field agent. It must have just been to get him back into the field, Q reasoned.

 

James stepped into Q branch, delighting a bit in seeing the minions scatter, but he could see they didn't go far. He made his way to Q’s office, knocking on the doorframe and holding up the bag of food. “Hungry now?”

Q looked up at him with a small smile and shrugged. “I suppose I could eat. Don’t you leave for Romania soon?”

The agent nodded, setting the food down in a clear-ish spot on Q’s desk and handing him a carton and chopsticks, subtly sliding a fork to rest near Q’s elbow for if he got frustrated. He made sure Q began to eat before he sat back, grabbing his own carton. “I have a bit of time still. Enough to make sure you eat at least,” he grinned and relaxed, sitting back and picking through his food. “You got any fun things for me to bring on my mission? I... It's a pretty small thing, I know, so anything to help alleviate the boredom would be nice. Something shiny and explosive.”

Q rolled his eyes at him. “I’ve got a watch for you. And then you’ve already got the Smart Blood. Your gun.”

James nodded. “Yeah, that's what I thought,” he sighed, setting down his carton and closing it up. “I should go,” he said, disappointed. “I need to finish up some more paperwork before I head to the airport.”

“Okay.” Q nodded with a quiet sigh and leaned in to kiss him gently. “Be careful. I’ll be on the line if you need anything.”

Bond closed his eyes and hummed into the kiss, smiling as Q pulled away. “I'll be done with this quickly. It shouldn't take more than two days.”

Q nodded, running his fingers through Bond’s hair. “Alright. Two days. I’ll hold you to that.”

James pecked his lips, standing and gathering up the trash. “Two days-ish, unless something interesting happens, which I doubt.”

Q nodded his head as he watched the older man. “James, I know this is just an in-and-out mission, but… Be careful.”

The agent turned to look at Q, smiling gently. “Yeah, I will. Of course I will. This is just some sort of warm up mission, but I'll take it seriously.” He threw away the trash, then moved back to Q, taking his hands. “I'll be careful unless I need to make a different decision.”

Q nodded, looking up at him. “And I hope you’ll consult with me before making that decision.”

James shrugged a bit helplessly. “I'll try, but if I have to make a decision like that it's because things have already gone wrong and I... Well I'll try.” He pressed a kiss to Q’s knuckles, then let them go and moved to the door. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

Q managed a small smile. “When you get back, we can start moving your things to my place.”

James inhaled deeply, affection flooding him. “Yeah.” He grinned, then turned, leaving the room and grabbing a briefcase with his gadgets from a minion as he left. He walked to the room he had left the paperwork in, settling in for another hour of work.

Q went back to work, typing away at his keyboard. He checked his watch later, finding that James had left, and put his headset on. “Bond?”

The agent glanced up, checking his surroundings casually. “Hello, Quartermaster. How are you?”

Q let out a breath, smiling a bit to himself. “I’ll be better once you come ho-” He cleared his throat. “Once you get my equipment back in one piece.”

James smiled to himself, using his hand to cover his expression. “You know accidents happen,” he responded to the second thing Q had said. “I do always try to bring everything back. I just don't always succeed.”

“Oh, believe me. I know. After Skyfall, all you brought me was a steering wheel.” Q smirked.

Bond grinned, even with the twinge of memory. “That was /not/ my fault. Silva had a /helicopter/, with /missiles/. I know that you think that I'm invincible, and I am mostly, but even I can't stop a helicopter missile.”

Q rolled his eyes at the excuse. “How far are you from your target?”

He glanced at the time. “ETA 10:50, so another 50 minutes,” he sighed. “I hate planes. I don't mind flying or whatever, I just... I'm sitting here, for hours, in a tiny little cabin, with recycled air, expected to sit in one seat, buckled in and-” He cut himself off, huffing sharply.

Q frowned as he watched Bond’s heart rate increase on the Smart Blood program. “James,” he said softly. “I’m right here. I’ve got you, love.”

James grunted, frustrated, but controlled his breathing, letting his heartbeat quiet. “I'm okay. I'm just... I'm okay,” he sighed, glad to hear Q’s voice.

Q nodded, trying to think of a way to distract him. “What do you want to do when you get back?”

James relaxed a bit more, and smiled. “I'm going to tell my landlord to take my safety deposit and go on a holiday. He's dealt with so much from me. I want to take you dancing again. You'll have more fun now that you know the basic steps.”

Q smiled at that. “I can hardly wait. We’ll get you all settled in. It’ll be nice.”

“I'll need to find a way to protect my suits from your cats…” James mused. “If they get their way, I bet they'll be covered lapels to tail in hair.” He grinned. “I'll have to cook up something really devious, though. Your cats must be under employ for MI6 too, they're sneaky enough.”

Q chuckled softly as he continued to work. “Oh, come on. They’re not /that/ bad.”

“They're /not/ bad,. They just like to see how many ways they can trip me up, and cover all my clothes in cat hair, and act completely innocent when I know they've done something. I mean, I still like them. They're just cats,” he finished, as if that explained everything.

The Quartermaster rolled his eyes with another soft chuckle. “I’ll make sure to get you a lint roller,” he said as he checked over the schematics of Bond’s flight. “Looks like you’ll be landing earlier than expected. I hope that doesn’t mess up your plans.”

James grinned, grabbing his jacket out from his carry-on. “On the contrary, it means I get to have some fun with a /very/ nice gun.”

“Not too much fun, I hope,” Q smiled. “Be careful, 007.”

The agent hummed in agreement. “I will, Quartermaster.” He glanced around once more, noticing nothing untoward, and smiled as the plane landed twelve minutes later. As he left the airport, James called the range at which he was to meet his target and informed them that he would be early.

~~~~~~~~~~

James was struggling to keep his eyes open, listening to his target. He wondered if this was more of a punishment than a 'warm-up' mission like Q had said. The agent nodded politely and excused himself to the restroom, splashing cold water on his face. “Jesus, Q. This is torture. I don't even get to kill him in the end, I just have to wait for him to admit that he has the stolen weapon plans and then he gets, what, a slap on the wrist?” He growled, frustrated.

Q chuckled softly on the other end of the line. “Don’t worry. This is just the first step in a bigger mission. You’ll have more fun next week.”

James grunted in acknowledgement, returning to his target with a large smile. “I'm sorry to have interrupted, please, carry on! It's ever so interesting.” He was lucky this guy was so easily won over. He could tell no one really ever let him go on like this. Unfortunately, it was the agent’s job.

Q knew how hard it was for James to just sit there and take it. He bit his lip, his fingers pausing over the keyboard as he began to hum softly.

James almost startled at the sound, the man's droning voice fading away for a moment before the agent called his focus back to the present. He relaxed a bit, letting his attention drift slightly between the two, just enough that he could pay attention to Q, but still answer and add to the ridiculous conversation. Bond was still so distracted that, when the man pulled out a cig, he was slightly startled, forcing his attention to this moment before he realized he wasn't in danger. “Want one?” James nodded, accepting his light and inhaling the thin smoke sharply. The agent felt more alert, getting more into the conversation. He didn't recognize his steadily rising heartbeat, just knowing he was starting to feel antsy, an itch for a fight or a fuck inserting itself under his skin.

Q stopped humming when he noticed the increase in Bond’s heart rate. He remember the agent’s reaction when he had found Q and Callum smoking the week before. He bit his lip, brows furrowed curiously as he began to dig deeper into the double-oh’s file.

James leaned in, suddenly completely focused on the man as Q’s humming stopped. He took a long drag of the cig, watching the man's eyes flicker to his lips as he licked them before exhaling, tilting his head up. Bond met his gaze, seeing that his attention had been caught, maybe had been since the beginning though the agent hadn't seen it, too irritated. He grinned. Well, here's a way to maybe speed up this mission. “You're really so knowledgeable about this subject, but I really should head back to my room,” James purred, looking disappointed. “Unless you wanted to join me? Just to talk a bit longer, you really are... Fascinating.” The man nodded, dazed, and Bond smirked triumphantly, taking the last drag of the cig and stubbing it out. Then, he lead him from the room with a hand on his lower back.

Q’s mouth fell open when he heard Bond’s words. He couldn’t believe it. James was actually going to fuck his target. Q knew that he couldn’t interfere, so he just took off his headset and set it aside as he continued to read over the agent’s file. “Completely unnecessary,” Q muttered to himself.

It was too easy to lead the conversation, getting the information James needed quickly and slipping out of the room while the guy was still passed out on the bed. He would hopefully wake up in the morning and get out of the room before the authorities found him, though Bond had cleaned up and checked out. The agent smiled, happy to be getting back home sooner than planned.

The Quartermaster didn’t leave Q branch that night. There were a lot of things hidden deep within Bond’s file. He didn’t read over everything. James deserved his privacy, at least. Q eventually came across a file that had been heavily encrypted and spent most of the night cracking it. When he finally got in, Q was surprised by what he had found. MI6 had conditioned Bond and the other double-oh’s during their training.

James kept calm easily the whole flight back to London, wondering if Q already knew he was on my way back or if this would be a surprise. He doubted it, but he hadn't heard from Q since he had been in the bar with that man. James was excited to get... Home. It was a strange notion, but he welcomed it.

Q had fallen asleep at his desk and was awoken by M, who had come to tell him that Bond was on his way home. He noticed his superior glance at his computer, Bond’s file still on the screen where he had fallen asleep reading it, as he told Q about the next mission and what he should do to prepare for it.

James went straight to M when he had returned, impatiently going through his mission debrief, though he let none of it show on his face. When he was done, the agent went down to Q branch, knowing Q would be there. He was a bit preoccupied with his next mission, knowing he would have to leave again soon but determined to spend as much time with Q as he could.

Q knew James was there before he actually saw him, the minions scattering everywhere. He made a mental note to have a talk with them about their behavior.

The agent swanned through the quickly emptying room, feeling almost powerful, but clamped down on that, knowing it would only get him in trouble. He knocked on the doorframe of Q’s office as usual, smiling and leaning against it. “I'm a whole day early, and no damage done to your gadgets, do I get a treat?” He teased happily.

Q kept his eyes on the computer screen and continued working, not acknowledging him. He still couldn’t believe that James had slept with that man. There were other ways to get the information. If he just hadn’t been so damn impatient…

James frowned at Q’s lack of response, stepping into the room. “Q? Is something wrong?” He looked behind him to make sure there was still no one close to the door. “Will?” He murmured.

Q’s body tensed, his fingers freezing over the keys when Bond said his name. He took a shaky breath. “There were other ways…”

Bond tilted his head, barely able to hear the Quartermaster. “What? What's wrong, Will?”

“There were other ways you could have gotten the information,” Q said a bit louder as he looked up at him.

James stepped back a bit, bewildered. “This is about the mission? I just wanted to get the job done, and that made it quicker and easier. It made sense in the situation, I just used what I had at my disposal to get the job done.”

“But you didn’t /have/ to. I understand that this is a part of your job and I expect it to happen. But this… There was no warning. No signs of attraction. All of a sudden you were just like, ‘Hey, let’s fuck.’”

The agent sighed, frustrated. “I just did what felt right in that moment, after the cig, the situation just led there. I could've stopped it, but I knew I could get the information I needed quicker that way, that's why I did it.” He frowned when Q looked back at his screen with a huff and got back to work. James halfway turned to the door, but spun back. “Is this a problem? You know that this is my job. The reason they choose me is because I'm good at what I do, and I do what needs to be done. I don't know why-” He pursed his lips. “Why is this bothering you? Can you tell me that at least?”

Q shook his head, rubbing his face. “I… I don’t know, James. I didn’t think it would bother me. If it were a woman, it’d probably be different, but…”

James rocked on my feet for a second, then walked around the desk to stand next to the younger man. “Q... You know it didn't mean anything. God Q, there's no one else in the world that could ever mean the same to me as you do.” He knelt down next to him. “Q please. I.. It might have been unnecessary, I'll admit that, but I just wanted to get back to you, back /home/. Can't you understand?”

“I do! I do understand.” Q looked at James and shook his head, tears forming in his eyes. “I just…” He let out a shaky breath, wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry. I… I don’t know why this is bothering me so much.”

James leaned forward, pulling Q into his arms. “I'm sorry, I should have thought more before jumping into it like that. I was just irritated and agitated and I needed to do /something/ or I would have probably killed the guy.” He rested his chin on Q’s shoulder. “I should've dealt with it differently.”

The Quartermaster leaned against him with a quiet sigh, not responding. It really shouldn’t have upset him as much as it did.

James quietly ran his fingers through Q’s hair for a moment. “Hey, why don't we go to the flat for a few hours rest. The information is still being processed and we're really not needed here for a while. You can access the information from your laptop if need be, but some rest wouldn't hurt.”

Q sniffled a bit and nodded his head pulled away from him to shutdown the computer. Still not speaking, he gathered his things and pulled his bag over his shoulder as he stood.

James followed after him, worried still, but not sure how to comfort him. He called a cab as they left the building.

Q got into the cab with him, staying quiet. He just didn’t know what to say. He was so frustrated with himself.

Bond glanced at Q out of the corner of his eye, wondering what was bothering him so much. He slid his arm around Q’s shoulders tentatively, worried he would shrug him off.

Q leaned against him, letting his body relax with a soft sigh. He needed some rest. He would be fine after that.

James stroked Q’s arm, pressing a kiss to his forehead. As he relaxed he started thinking about the next leg of the mission, getting excited. He shouldn't have been put on that last mission. It made him wonder if he had pissed someone off. A few hours of rest, new information, and he would be put on his next, hopefully more interesting, mission.

They returned home and Q got out of the cab with James, leading him up to the flat and unlocking the door. He pet the cats before going back to the bedroom without a word.

The agent followed him, striping out of his jacket and shirt before he even reached the bedroom. He threw them across the end of the bed as he slipped his shoes off neatly beside the door, working on his belt before stepping quickly out of his trousers. He sat on the bed, setting an alarm and turning the volume up on his phone so it would wake him up if someone called. That done, he turned to look for Q. He found the younger man in the bathroom, splashing water on his face. He watched as Q dried off before returning to the bedroom to change his clothes and get into bed. James slipped under the covers with him, turning to spoon behind him. He pressed a kiss to the back of Q’s neck. “I've got alarms set already, nothing else to worry about for another few hours. Sleep now, love.”

Q bit his lip, pulling away and keeping his back to James. Just the thought of him touching that other man put a pit in the Quartermaster’s stomach. He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, trying to get some sleep, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Why was it bothering him so much?

James felt him pull away and stared at the smooth expanse of Q’s back, trying to fight off the waves of instinct that told him things were going downhill in a nasty way. It was fine, Q would feel better after some rest. There was no way that Q would let this bother him; he knew it was a part of the job. James rolled onto his back and fell asleep easily.

James woke easily with the alarm, refreshed and excited for his next mission. He frowned when he turned to Q, noticing how stiff his back was. He reached out a hand to graze Q’s back, but drew back when the younger man flinched harshly away from him. “Q? Did you sleep?”

Q had gotten in a few minutes of sleep here and there throughout the night, but he didn’t bother telling James that. He got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

James watched him go, taken aback. What was going on? Everything had seemed to be going well when they had gone to bed. He debated stepping into the shower with Q, but decided to just shower in the gym. He still probably had a few hours that he could spend working out before having to go. Although, he should maybe spend some of that time talking to Q and figuring out what was going on... James got out of bed, getting dressed quickly in his clothes from before, now unfortunately full of cat hair. He went to the kitchen, looking through for something Q could eat. James heard Q step out of the bathroom and called to him. “Are you hungry? I can make you something quick to bring with.”

Q didn’t respond to the question, not that he was hungry anyway, and dried off before beginning to get dressed. He felt sick to his stomach, but didn’t know why. He hoped that going back to work would help him feel better about the situation.

James closed the fridge, walking to the hall to wait for him. “Q?” He asked hesitantly as the younger man walked out. James held out an arm for a hug if he wanted, but Q walked right past him. “Q,” he repeated frustrated. “What's going on? You're obviously irritated about something. Tell me what it is so I can help you.”

Q just shook his head. How could James help him if even Q didn’t understand it? He refilled the cat bowls before getting his bag ready for work.

Bond watched him silently at first, then huffed, a bit irritated himself. What had he done to deserve this treatment? Wanted to come home early so he cheated a little and seduced someone? God forbid, it's not like it was the first time he had used his body as a tool to gather information. James stalked out of the flat while Q was still shuffling his bag, calling a cab and waiting for him, trying to calm down.

Q met him at the curb after a few minutes and sighed softly. “I think I’m going to walk,” he said softly. “Maybe clear my head a bit…” He didn’t want James to think that he was avoiding him, but he really needed the space.

James stared at him, taken aback, but then nodded sharply, getting in the cab and not looking back as the driver pulled away. Maybe he needed to clear his head too. He certainly needed a few rounds in the sparring ring. Hand to hand always made the agent feel better.

Q took his time as he walked to work, enjoying the fresh air. He had plenty of time before he absolutely needed to be at work. He had definitely needed this. It gave him time to think things over and fully understand the situation.

James threw the guy he was sparring with, irritated. He couldn't get Q out of his head and it was driving him nuts. What the hell was going on that was so bad Q couldn't even talk about it? James felt anxious and itchy, like his skin was too tight, and he just wanted to go down to Q branch and talk to him, but Q had said /space/ and he didn't know what that meant. He turned to the next guy coming into the ring and tapped his wrapped fists with his, lashing out viciously.

When Q had finally arrived at work, the minions were all wary around him. He shook it off and sat down at his desk, making sure everything was ready for Bond’s next mission. Q knew that he couldn’t just let James leave without talking to him first, but he still wasn’t sure how to put what he was feeling into words. He sighed and went to get all of Bond’s equipment ready. He’d be taking the Aston and Q silently prayed he would bring it back in one piece.

James finally left the gym, taking a cool shower in the locker room and quickly outfitting himself in the suit he kept there. He would need to go up to M's office to be debriefed before getting his kit from... Q branch. He didn't know what to do about Q. He didn't want to leave without talking to him, but his emotions about it all weren't any less muddled than they had been after that morning. Bond silently moved through the halls to M's office, lost in thought and startling more than a dozen people accidentally, barely noticing anything around him.

Meeting with M complete, James made his way down to Q branch. Warily, he walked through the doors to see Q already waiting for him. He walked towards him, following the Quartermaster into his office, closing and locking the door behind him. James paused there a moment, then turned to face Q.

The Quartermaster sat in his chair, staring down at his hands in his lap. He wasn’t sure how to start, or even if James would understand it.

James sighed, seeing the reluctance in Q’s face. “Q, you've got to give me something. I don't know what's wrong. I can't help you.”

“I know,” Q nodded slowly with a sigh. “I don’t know why this is bothering me so much. I think I’m fine and then I start thinking about you with him, touching him the way you touch me…”

James step forward, suddenly understanding a bit. “Q, it's not like that. It's never like that. I could never touch anyone else in the world like I do you. What I do at work, what I have to do, I don't feel anything. But with you... Q, I love you. There's nothing similar in the way I treat you, that I /touch/ you.” He hesitated, wondering if he had said too much, hadn't said enough.

Q nodded again, running his fingers through his hair. “I know that. I do, but… I just… I still can’t get it out of my head.”

James moved around the desk to lean next to next, gently brushing a curl out of the younger man’s eyes. He leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead, not knowing what more to say. Did Q not believe he loved him? He was about to open his mouth when his phone chimed and he reluctantly pulled away, glancing at it. “I need my kit,” he said gruffly, pissed at the timing and wishing they had more so they could talk this out.

Q nodded his head as he got up and led James back to give him his kit. He pulled the keys to the Aston out of his pocket and handed them over to him.

James grabbed them, holding onto Q’s hand for a second. “Please don't overthink this. We'll talk more, okay?” He murmured, leaning in.

Q swallowed thickly, not meeting his gaze. “I won’t. Work will keep me distracted.”

Bond looked down at their hands, then released Q and nodded. “Okay. I'll call in when I reach my destination.” He hesitated one moment longer, then continued. “I'll see you soon.” As he turned to leave, James saw minions jerking their heads away as if they had been watching and hoped that they wouldn't start to drive Q crazy the second he walked out.

Q watched him go with a sad sigh. He didn’t want him to leave so soon with the issues they were having and he hoped that it wouldn’t affect Bond’s work. Q wouldn’t let him get hurt because of this.


	24. Chapter 24

James looked over the gathered information on the plane ride. It was deceivingly simple, something that would be easy or hard with barely any sign of whether it had gone right or wrong until it was too late.The end, of course, would be Bond walking into the pit of figurative snakes, left hoping that everything had gone right. He would collect the information, get out and come home with another agent taking over the rest. Easy. Or not.  
Q returned to his desk after a while and put on his headset after checking that Bond’s earpiece was online. “Good evening, 007,” he said in his usual tone, no indication of emotional stress in his voice.  
Bond scanned the crowded airport quickly, pulling out his phone and going through the motions that made it look like he was taking a call. “Good evening, dear. How are things at home?”  
“Everything’s fine on this end. We’re all ready for whatever gets thrown at us.” Q cleared his throat, hoping he didn’t sound too enthusiastic. “How was the flight?”  
The agent nodded, making noises of agreement. “Flight was great. No issues there. I'm just going to pick up the car, head to the hotel. I'll talk to you when I get there, hmm?”  
“Alright.” Q nodded as he typed away at his keyboard. “I’ll be waiting.”  
Bond pretended to hang up, keeping the line on. He got the car, letting out a low whistle as he slipped in. “She's beautiful Q,” he murmured, pressing the ignition button. He sighed at the sound of her engine. “Can you hear her purr? You've really outdone yourself.” He kept up their usual banter on the way to the hotel, trying to make the situation more natural for Q so they could slip into their normal groove of working together.  
Q smirked a bit to himself as James praised his work on the car. He just listened to the agent drive for a while as he continued to work, making sure that all of the arrangements at the hotel were ready for him.  
James enjoyed the drive, even though he took it easy as to not draw attention to himself before necessary. He parked, getting out and sliding his hand along the edge of the hood as he walked away. “Beautiful,” he muttered as he walked to the hotel, checking in quickly and going to his room. “Any updates on the situation? I wait this night out, introduce myself to Parados, cause a ruckus, get the info, and get out. No one’s noticed me so far?”  
“Yes, that’s all there is for now.” Q nodded, checking Bond’s vitals on the Smart Blood program. That was more for his own reassurance than anything.  
James hummed softly as he dropped his bag, taking in the room he had been set up with. He did a quick scan for bugs before relaxing, opening the balcony doors. He noted that it would be a good escape route, easy to travel across and down from balconies, not a lot of places for a sniper in view. He would only have to remember to make sure it was hard to open his balcony door so others couldn't use it as an opportunity.  
“How does everything look?” Q asked as he pulled up the hotel’s employee records.  
James continued humming, becoming strained for a second as he shoved a pole into the bottom of the balcony door. “Good, it looks nice.”  
Q nodded to himself and bit his lip softly. Essentially, they were alone. James didn’t have anywhere to be for a while and Q hadn’t planned on going home that night.  
James smiled, pleased at the job he had done and looked out again at the nice view. “If we ever get another vacation, I'd like to take you here. Not here like this hotel, but the area. A few other places nearby we can visit too. You might even get a tan out of it.” He smiled, leaning against the wall and letting himself daydream a bit.  
Q smiled a bit at the thought. “I bet M would be more open to it if we asked now that he knows MI6 can function without us.”  
The agent grinned a bit deviously. “I'm actually pretty sure it's when we /are/ there that he has to worry more,” he snickered.  
The Quartermaster rubbed his forehead with a sigh. “Oh, god. He better not find out about how I reacted.”  
James pulled away from the door, taking off his suit jacket and tossing it over a chair back, unclipping his shoulder holster. “I doubt he will,” he hummed, unconcerned.  
“Still. If he thinks for a second that I can’t handle it, he’ll fire me or force us to…” He couldn’t say it. He didn’t even want to think about it.  
“Hey, no.” James stood up straight, staring sightlessly ahead. “He can't do that to us. He tried it once and look what happened. A week’s vacation to make up for being-” He cut off the unflattering end of his sentence, knowing that, here or not, M would probably know if he were talking shit about him. “-for having such a bad idea in the first place.”  
“But that was before he turned out to be right.” Q sighed heavily. “I really thought I could handle it.”  
James ran a hand through his hair. “You can handle it, Q. Don't let one situation shake you. You're fine, he's /not/ right about this. Not about us,” he murmured, wishing this hadn't happened right now, when he couldn't pull Q into his arms to comfort him.  
Q nodded again, suddenly wishing they had taken the time to actually say goodbye before Bond had left. “I miss you…”  
James nodded slightly even though Q couldn't see him. He started to move again, taking off his belt and shoes. “I miss you, too. I'll actually have a break after this mission, so I'll have time to spend at home with you,” he smiled. “I'll make us a nice dinner one of these nights.”  
Q smiled at the thought and pulled his hands away from the keyboard, leaning back in his seat as he let himself relax. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”  
Bond stripped off the rest of his clothes except his underwear, falling back on the bed. “Don't stay up all night, okay?” He rolled over to grab a book out of his bag. “There's not much to be done on the outsides of this mission, so you can actually relax for the majority of this one,” he chuckled.  
“Oh, please,” Q rolled his eyes. “You know I won’t be able to relax until you’re home safe.”  
James smiled, stretching out. “I'm safe for tonight. At least take a nap at some point?”  
“I’ll try,” he nodded to himself. “I’ve got some things I should get done.”  
James nodded silently to himself, acknowledging that Q probably wouldn't sleep tonight unless he fell asleep at his desk. “Okay, then. I'll let you concentrate. I'll ring in tomorrow, okay?” He let the connection end, taking the earpiece out and settling against the pillows, tucking into his book.  
Q sighed softly when James went off the line. At least they weren’t fighting anymore. If that’s even what it was in the first place.  
James eventually put away his book, feeling strangely restless. He moved under the covers, trying to find a comfortable position. He wished Q was there. He always felt safe and comfortable enough to sleep next to him. James reached over the edge of the bed and into his bag, pulling out the gun case. He popped it open one handed, pulling the gun out and setting it on the bed next to him as he closed the case back up and slipped it back into his bag. Bond grabbed the gun, enjoying watching it light up green as it recognized his palm print and became armed. He slipped it under his pillow, keeping his hand touching the reassuring cold steel as he finally relaxed into a comfortable position and fell asleep.

James woke the next morning to the quiet sound of his alarm. He quickly got dressed in his workout gear, shoving the earpiece into his ear and initiating a call.  
Q tapped the button on his headset as he took a sip from his seventh cup of coffee. “Good morning, 007.”  
The agent frowned at the barely there grittiness in Q’s voice. “How many coffees have you had? You didn't sleep at all, did you.” He sighed, a bit disappointed despite himself. He let himself out of his room, moving down to the gym in the hotel and starting with a few sets of pull ups.  
“I told you I had a lot of work to get done. If I get it finished while you’re away, I’ll have more time to spend with you when I get back.”  
James huffed at his Quartermaster’s logic, a bit mad at himself that he agreed. “At least sleep tonight, please? It won't be good if I got home finally and you were passing out because you're not taking care of yourself.”  
“James, I’m fine.” Q rolled his eyes. “I can go up to four days without sleeping and still function just fine.”  
Bond rolled his eyes. “That shouldn't be a desirable accomplishment. I can stay up seven days and still function, but they call that hell week because the human body isn't built to do that.”  
“Which is exactly why I made my limit four days,” Q said as he continued typing away at his keyboard.  
James huffed, letting go of the pull-up bar and dropping to do push-ups. “It's still not healthy, especially with the amount of caffeine you drink. And I doubt you've eaten.” He closed his mouth, trying to stop his nagging.  
“James, I’m fine. You can baby me all you want when you get back,” Q sighed. “When are you meeting the target?”  
Bond glanced at his watch, “In three hours at brunch,” he said, sneering a bit. “It's at the country club that has been in his family for generations, old money, but he does almost all of his business there, making any costs look like restaurant or maintenance costs. Anyone who goes in with intentions of double crossing Parados or cheating him out of what he wants usually winds up in a river with a good alibi of why he couldn't have been at the club. So I'm going to go in there and make an impression, then put in a good effort of destroying everything he loves.”  
“Sounds like a grand old time,” Q smirked a bit. “Just make sure that he can’t do the same to you. I don’t think I could handle being kidnapped again.”  
“I don't think you'd have to worry about that,” James muttered, moving to the treadmill. “If I do a good enough job of pissing him off, it shouldn't be an issue. He'll never know I came back to the club to steal the information and he'll attack the other gang in the area, thinking that I must've been hired by them as they have things planned today and I will have disappeared.”  
“Alright,” Q nodded his head slowly. “Just be careful, okay? Don’t get caught up in that.”  
James smiled a bit. “Maybe if I had something small and explosive, I could insure that he doesn't have a thought in his mind about me. Something that I could carry in my pocket maybe, maybe it could have another use as a writing utensil.” He smirked, teasing.  
Q rolled his eyes at the agent’s words. “You still have that watch I gave you, right?”  
James hummed his agreement, upping his pace to a run. He glanced at his wrist, suddenly wary. “You said it only told the time!” He accused.  
“I said no such thing,” Q chuckled, shaking his head at him.  
“Yes, you did. I asked you what it did and you said tell the time. So what does it really do?” He asked expectantly.  
The Quartermaster sighed before answering. “Turn the pin three times. You’ll have thirty seconds before detonation.”  
The agent grinned, knowing exactly what to do with it. “Oh love, you /do/ know how to make me happy.” He stepped off the treadmill, panting a bit. “Remind me to thank you when I get back. I'm sure you can think of /some/ way for me to... Repay you,” he purred.  
Q rolled his eyes at him as he continued typing. “Oh, I don’t doubt it,” he chuckled softly, wishing Bond would be home soon.  
James smirked, running a hand over his neck. He quickly finished the rest of his workout before going up to his room to shower and get ready. “Going to meet Parados now, I'll talk to you after.”  
“Alright,” Q nodded. “Make sure you stay online during your meeting with him so we can keep track of you and step in if anything goes wrong.”  
Bond made a noise of agreement, already making his way to the car. The brunch was boring, as the agent had expected. The only interesting part was when he met Parados, watching his dark eyes size him up and knowing that he had /no idea/ what the agent could do. James didn't blame him. He was in a blue pastel polo, he didn't think /he/ would recognize what he could do if he saw himself right then. James left the club, changing quickly into his normal suit. He stepped into the lobby, straightening his cufflinks. He smirked, making his way out to the car. ‘I think I'll start with his house,’ he thought to himself.  
Q had listened to him throughout the entire meeting, working away quietly so as not to disturb him. When he knew that it was safe for James to talk, Q began to hum softly, more to calm his own nerves about the mission than anything.  
James hummed quietly with Q, not realizing it as he snuck into Parados’ house. He looked through the house and into the garage, finding some convenient paint and a can of gasoline. The agent hummed louder, actually singing at some parts as he walked through the house, splashing gasoline on the walls. “Hey, Q? Do you think you can find me a picture of the rival gang’s symbol?”  
Q shook his head at him with a slight smirk as he looked it up on his computer. “It’s a triangle with a horizontal line through the center.”  
“Thanks,” James grinned as he painted the symbol haphazardly through the house, then taking the can of gas and climbing onto the roof. A few more minutes of work and he pulled a lighter out of his pocket, tossing it into the air a few times, then squatting down, lighting the gas. It traveled quickly into the house, catching easily. Bond looked up into the sky, settling a strip of gas-soaked fabric that lead to the roof. “Can you see me right now?” He asked, starting to walk away as the smoke got thicker. “Did I do a good job?”  
“You did wonderfully,” Q replied with a smile. “Now finish the job so that you can come home.”  
James smirked, driving off to the spa that Parados' wife was at. As he reached the building, he chuckled. “Do I have your permission?”  
Q furrowed his brows in confusion at the question. “Permission to do what?  
“I'm gonna have to seduce her. Are you okay with this? Do I need to look for other options?” He grinned teasingly, though he knew the Quartermaster couldn’t see him.  
Q blinked, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. “Why… Why would even even ask that?”  
“What?” James scoffed. “It's just a joke.” He got out of the car, making his way toward the front door. “I'll take that as a yes, then?”  
Q stared at his monitor for a moment. Bond couldn’t be serious. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
The agent paused with his hand on the door. “What?” He quickly moved forward, trying not to draw attention to himself and stay in character.  
“No, answer the question,” Q said, clenching his fists. “There’s obviously something wrong with you if you think that it’s even remotely okay to ask me that.”  
James worked through charming the lady at the front desk and snuck through the building until he found a quiet place to talk to Q again. “Listen, I'm sorry. I was just trying to make a joke. I thought we were past it.” He hissed, making his way down the hall.  
“Why would you even bother joking about that in the first place?! You saw the effect it had on me!”  
Q couldn’t listen to it. He didn’t care what happened, he couldn’t listen to James with her. He took off his headset and clenching his fists as he tried to calm himself. Why did this have to happen now?  
James cursed, pounding his fist against his forehead a few times, frustrated. “I just made a mistake. I'm sorry. I can't. /Fuck/. I can't talk right now. Jesus, Q, I'm sorry.” He continued forward, slipping back into character. Bond quickly seduced the helpless, unsatisfied housewife and convinced her to run away with him. She wrote out a note for her husband, giving it to the woman at the reception desk. James let her kiss him again, telling her where to meet him and when he would be there, then got back into his car. “Q, please. I didn't think before I spoke. Please don't be mad.”  
Bond drove quickly towards the country club, parking the car in a safe spot a few blocks away. He stormed toward the building, needing to destroy something. He took his watch off as he got closer, finding Parados’ beautiful car and, without hesitation, smashing the window in. He turned the dial on his watch three times as instructed and dropped it in, running towards the front of the parking lot. He looked back just in time to see it explode and watched as men came pouring out of the building. James caught sight of Parados, then turned and ran away. He circled around the block, waiting for a sign of Parados finding his other hits, of the other gang enacting their plan. The agent make his way back to the country club. It looked cleared out, so he entered, going straight to the back rooms and placing Q’s USB into the drive. While he waited, he drew the other gang’s symbol on the walls, trying to take out his frustration in the motion. He had finally had enough and tried again. “Q. Please listen to me.”  
Q didn’t put his headset back on until he saw that James had downloaded the information to the USB drive. “What, Bond?’ He sighed softly.  
James shivered with relief, placing his hands on a desk and letting his head hang. He slowly straightened up. “Q, I-I'm sorry. I should've known it would be insensitive, but I just... We were talking and I got caught up and I really should've known better, but you know I really didn't mean it. I was just making a stupid joke. It was wrong for me to try and make a joke of your feelings.” He winced as the words left his mouth, hoping he was making things better and not worse by reminding Q exactly of what he had done, what he had thought it was okay to do.  
Q stared at his screen incredulously and shook his head. “No. No, I don’t even think that’s it. It’s not that you don’t think before you speak. It’s that you don’t feel anything anymore. You’ve completely desensitized yourself to the point that you forget that real people actually have feelings.”  
James froze, a feeling like a shard of ice piercing his chest stopping his breathing. “N-no, Q, how could you say that?” He stumbled back, leaning against the wall and leaning on one shoulder, staring sightlessly ahead. “Of course- Of course I think about your feelings. I just-” He sucked in a sharp breath at the feeling of the barrel of a gun pressed against the back of his neck. A hand fumbled around his ear, prying out the device, and he could only manage a- “No, don't!” -before the device was smashed. Bond sighed, frustrated. “He's going to be pissed at me that I destroyed another gadget. You're lucky you won't be around to take the fall.” He grit out as he slowly turned, hands up. He barely caught sight of one of Parados’ hench-country club members holding the gun to his head and Parados smirking behind him. “Huh, figures you'd make someone do the dirty work,” the agent muttered, glaring at Parados. “I doubt you do your own laundry. I'd hardly expect you to lift a gun to-” A noise from Parados and the gun was drawn back, only to slam across Bond’s temple. He fell into the wall, bashing his head further, and slid down to the floor like his strings had been cut. The last thing he saw as his vision flickered was Parados smirking down at him, looking for all the world like he had gotten a good drive out on the green. Bond chuckled a bit deliriously as his vision finally faded out. Hopefully he would remember to relate that to Parados whenever he, probably, woke up.  
Q quickly took off his headset when the feedback of Bond’s earpiece being crushed screeched in his ears. He clenched his fists as he stared at the Smart Blood data on the screen, holding his breath. That’s how M and Moneypenny had found him. It had happened again. It had happened again and it was Q’s fault. Why couldn’t he have just dropped it?  
Eve dragged him out of the room, trying to help him calm down. He couldn’t have a mental breakdown in front of M. Q pulled away from her and went to the bathroom to splash some water on his water. James was alive. That’s what mattered.  
Q returned to his desk just in time to see Bond’s heart rate increase. He sat down and pulled up the whole body scan, not caring that M didn’t know he had administered the Smart Blood to James. He sucked in a breath when he saw that most of the trauma had been to Bond’s head. Q tried to remain calm under M’s watchful eye. He had to prove that he wouldn’t let their relationship get in the way of doing his job which, at the moment, was to make sure that James got home safely.  
Q focused on his breathing as they all watched the Smart Blood data on the screen. ‘He’s alive,’ Q kept assuring himself. ‘He’s alive and he’s going to find a way back to me.’ M had him pull up Bond’s location with the GPS before making a phone call, sending in an extraction team to get him out of there. Luckily, M had already had a team in place for the final part of the mission, the part that, thankfully, James wasn’t being sent on. Q leaned forward as he watched James and his vitals, listening to the radio chatter of the extraction team.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bond woke, bound to a chair as blood still slowly dripped down his nose from the angle his head was hanging. So, he hadn't been out for long, that was a good sign. He even appeared to be in the same room, from what he could see by his tiny glances with eyes still half shut. He caught a glance of the computer and realized the USB was still plugged in. The agent almost scoffed. This fucking amateur. This shouldn't be that hard. It would even be fun, a good way to… A queasy feeling stole over him, maybe a side effect of his obvious concussion, more definitely a response to his memory of the words Q had said to him. Did he really believe...? James shook his head minutely. Not the time.  
The door opened and Parados stepped in with two men flanking him. Bond almost laughed at the paltry show of force, but remained unresponsive. A hand pushed him back and he flopped back in the chair, keeping his body as loose as possible. There was a slap across the left side of his face and again, he let his body move with it. He almost couldn't control his expression, he was laughing so hard internally. There were a few more pokes and prods before one of them finally spoke. “Is he.. Dead?”  
Bond was lucky there was a harder hit to my stomach at that point, because falling forward again gave him an excuse to cover his grin until he could control my expression again. He checked his binds quickly. It felt like, though his hands were behind his back, they weren't secured to the chair at all. /Morons/. How did this guy get so powerful? He was obviously used to a lower quality enemy, but he didn't have any clue what he was doing. Too bad if James killed him before he'd get the chance to figure it out. “Well, check his pulse! I needed him alive!” Bond got ready to get into action, a feral grin taking over his face.  
As the man’s hand nudged at Bond’s jaw, trying to get at his pulse point, the agent sprang forward, driving his head into the soft cartilage of the man’s nose. He fell back, screaming and clutching at his nose as James leaned back, avoiding a punch sent towards his face by Parados. He grabbed onto the back of the chair, spinning and ducking to get the height and momentum to clock him right in the head with the hard seat of the chair. Bond’s shoulders screamed in protest, but he ignored it as he advanced on the cowering third guard, kicking him sharply in the shin and forcing him to a knee, where it was easy for him to drive his knee into his face. Bond turned to survey the rest of the room, but other than the still moaning guard, the room was worryingly empty of Parados. He was starting to feel as if maybe it hadn't been the best idea to take out the first guard by using his head as a battering ram, but he slipped his bound hands under his legs quickly, stealing the guard’s gun. At the last moment, James grabbed the USB out of the computer, slipping it into his inner jacket pocket with a little struggle. He really needed to find something sharp with which to get his hands separated, but first he needed to find Parados.  
Bond followed the sounds of Parados' escape: doors slamming open and hissing closed, his hurried footsteps, things he knocked off tables unnoticed in his hurried flight. He seemed to be heading towards a different part of the club rather than escaping out the front doors and James hurried to find out what he was up to, detouring quickly to the dining area to find a knife with which to cut free his hands. He heard Parados’ voice from up ahead and narrowed his eyes, hurrying toward him and, when he realized what he was doing, raised his gun. He saw Bond coming at the last second, shot ringing out loudly in the confined space. He dropped the useless receiver with a clatter as he kept his eyes focused on Bond’s gun, now trained on him instead of the phone dock. His shaking hands stayed raised by his head as James advanced, taking him out with a quick blow to the head. The agent lazily debated for a moment whether or not to kill him, looking down on his limp body. But his call made him leave him, knowing he needed to get out before reinforcements came.  
Bond escaped the building easily, winding his way through the streets and avoiding any people he saw as he made my way towards the only other place he really knew in the area: the hotel. He made quick work of getting to his balcony, shattering the glass to get in because he was an idiot who left a bar on the door so no one could get in, including himself. James searched through his things frantically, looking for his phone and gun, for any way of contacting Q while he still could. Dizziness and vertigo hit him hard as his adrenaline rush left him, leaving him with a throbbing headache to go with the blood still oozing gruesomely from the wound in his temple. Bond’s vision blurred vaguely, grey spots appearing and disappearing, and he stumbled to the side, hitting the bed and falling onto it. His stomach lurched with the movement and he cursed wildly, trying to breathe through the sudden reappearance of his concussion. He struggled to keep his eyes open as his strength slowly faded with the adrenaline in his system, leaving him feeling tired and weak. Slowly, the symptoms loosened their hold on him, but he didn't move just yet, feeling that, if he did, they would blossom back just as quickly as they had left him.  
The agent flinched as a group entered his room, but relaxed back into his renewed pounding headache when he recognized the extraction team. Even now Q was looking out for him. He answered their questions and was soon loaded into a plane back to headquarters.   
They brought him into medical, which was their first mistake. Their second mistake was leaving him alone for a few minutes. Those were all the mistakes he allowed them. James was out of his bed in moments, peeling off all the machine readers and slipping out of the room and out of medical before anyone knew he was gone. He took the long way to Q branch, avoiding cameras and sneaking down hallways. Finally, he came to Q branch, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes, willing his head to stop spinning. Pushing off the wall, he spun toward the doors, walking in with a semblance of his normal confident stride. He cursed internally as he tried to locate Q, his vision doubling before steadying out again. James noticed a lot of horrified looks in his direction, but ignored them as he finally spotted Q. The Quartermaster was sitting in a chair with Moneypenny hovering over him, both of them facing away. “Q?” James moved closer to him, blinking as his path was blocked by a desk.  
Q turned around at the sound of Bond’s voice, standing up and rushing over to him as tears began to form in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around James tightly and buried his face in the older man’s neck, his body trembling. “I’m sorry,” he murmured against him. “I’m so sorry. I was stupid and you got hurt and it’s all my fault and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”  
James wrapped his arms around Q quickly, body swaying dangerously as Q hit him and he almost lost his balance. “No. No, shhh… You don't have to apologize for anything. It was my fault. I'm an insensitive bastard and I hurt you and I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back…” He pressed kisses to Q’s forehead, trying not to get blood on him.  
Q let out a shaky breath as he held on to James, trying not to cry. It was bad enough that M and the minions had to see him in this state. He didn’t need to cry in front of them, too. “You… You should go back to Medical. Let me take you to Medical.”  
James nodded slowly, trying not to become dizzy again. “That might be a good idea. You know how I said all of my ideas are good ideas? They still are; all except the one where I used my already concussed head as a battering ram. That one was not as good of an idea,” he rambled slightly, letting Q lead him back to Medical.  
The Quartermaster managed to smile a bit, putting his arm around Bond’s waist to help support him as he led him back to Medical. When they arrived, some nurses rushed over to help as Q carefully lowered him down onto the bed. He stepped aside to let them work, but stayed where James could see him.  
As he’s worked on by the nurses, who are scolding him for having left, James barely moved his gaze from Q, only looking away when he had to. He’s so tired, and the bustle of the room is bringing back his headache. The only thing he wanted to do was go curl up with Q at home in their bed rather than the stiff mattress of Medical. All of this disappears when he looked at Q, helping calm and center him, making him want to keep his eyes open just to see Q. James wondered if his train thought had anything to do with his concussion or if it was just the normal undercurrent of thought in his mind all the time.  
Q kept his eyes on James, biting his lip softly. Even though he was home safe, Q was still worried out of his mind. It was obvious to him that James had a severe concussion and he barely knew anything about the medical field. As soon as the nurses were done and had left, Q moved to lay next to James on the bed. He put his arm around him and carefully pulled the older man to lay against him as he ran his finger’s through his blond hair and gently kissed his forehead.  
James hummed contentedly and curled into Q. Pressing a kiss into the closest patch of skin, he shushed Q softly. “Stop worrying. I'm fine. They won't even keep me up the whole night. I have a hard head and this is barely anything. They'll check in every thirty minutes for the first two hours, though, so that's annoying, but as long as my heart doesn't stop at any point in those two hours, I'll be considered ready to go. Of course, they want to keep me overnight, but we could go home if we wanted.”  
Q shook his head, kissing the top of Bond’s head gently. “We’re not leaving until they say you can. And you’re not going back into the field until they’ve cleared you.”  
The agent huffed softly, slightly irritated that the head nurse had been right in saying that they didn't need to threaten to tie him down as long as Q was there. Q at least would follow their instructions and James would follow anything he said. “It's really nothing. We should go home. Our bed is much more comfortable than this…” He grumbled with no real intent behind the statement.  
“You can barely walk on your own,” Q said softly with a sigh. “We’re not going anywhere.” He bit his lip sharply, ignoring the sting of tears in his eyes.  
James snuggled sleepily into the hollow of Q’s throat. “Excuse you. I snuck through a whole city /and/ from Medical to Q branch without alerting anyone on this concussion already. The only reason I'm still here is because…” He stopped, easy words frustratedly out of reach.  
“Because you’ve suffered severe injuries that need to be tended to.” He sighed softly. “James, I can’t take care of you at home. I don’t know how. I just… I need you to be alright.” Q’s voice wavered as he spoke and he buried his face in Bond’s short hair with a shaky breath.  
James turned his head up, meeting the younger man’s gaze. “Q... I'm alright. This isn't the first time I've had a concussion, and the reason I'm still here is because you want me to be. I'm fine, Q.” He leaned up, pressing a kiss to the corner of Q’s lips. “I am fine.”  
Q wiped his eyes, sniffling softly as he nodded. “I know… I know… God, James, I was so scared.”  
James brought his hand up to softly stroke Q’s cheek with his thumb, wiping away the wetness. “I know. I'm sorry. I should have seen it coming. I should've prepared for it…” He sighed, pushing his hand up to tangle in the younger man’s curls.  
Q leaned down and gently pressed his forehead to Bond’s. “You would have seen it coming if I hadn’t been yelling at you.”  
Bond shook his head gently, stroking Q’s hair soothingly. “No. No, Q, don't say that. That wasn't your fault. That was mine. I'm… I'm sorry. I really didn't want to hurt you... But… Did you mean what you said? Do you really think that… That I don't care?” He closed his eyes, turning his face into the pillow a bit. “Q, I care about you more than I have about anything else. You /can't/-” His voice broke and he exhaled sharply. “You can't believe that.”  
“No… No.” Q shook his head. “No, James, I know you care. I just… I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it. I… I’m so sorry.”  
James pressed his head to the younger man’s chest, slinging his arm around his waist. “Neither of us meant what we said…” He yawned, snuggling into Q’s warmth.  
Q nodded and pressed his lips to the older man’s forehead gently. He could practically feel James falling asleep in his arms. “You need to stay awake, love.”  
“'m awake.” James murmured. “Just letting my eyes rest is all.” He forced himself back a bit, sniffing and blinking up at Q.  
The Quartermaster ran his fingers through Bond’s hair and kissed his forehead again before getting up slowly. He went to get James a glass of water and brought it over to him. “Are you hungry? You should eat something.”  
James shuffled up on the bed until he was propped up on the pillows, taking the glass from Q and sipping from it slowly. He grimaced at the thought of eating, nausea stirring in his gut for a moment. He took another sip of water and swallowed thickly. “No… Not right now. I'll try in a few hours.”  
Q nodded with a quiet sigh. “Well, we need to keep you hydrated… And awake. Maybe we could try walking around?”  
James took a few more sips of the water, then put it down. Though he would never say it aloud, his whole body ached and my limbs felt heavy, but he nodded and moved to sit up with a grimace.  
Q quickly moved to help him up, wrapping his arm around Bond’s waist to steady him. “Do you want me to see if I can get you a wheelchair? That way you won’t get tired out.”  
James grunted as he pushed to his feet, trying to use the bed to steady himself more, so as to not worry Q. “Nah, what's the point of a wake-up walk if I'm not going to be walking? I'm fine.” He smiled at Q, pausing to straighten up his clothing where it had twisted as an excuse to wait for his slight dizziness to fade. When he felt more steady, he nodded at Q and took his hand.  
Q bit his lip as he looked him over, making sure he was okay. “We could go to M’s office if you want to get that over with right away?”  
James hummed in agreement, bored already at the thought of debriefing. He suddenly pat his pockets, finding the USB. “I can't believe I forgot about this. This is for you.” He pulled the USB out and passed it to Q. “I should probably give it to M first, but since it's just going to be handed to you anyways…”  
The Quartermaster looked up at him with furrowed brows, smiling softly. “I… I can’t believe you got it out.” He took the drive from James and slipped it into his own pocket. “You could have just left it. I was more worried about you. We all were.”  
The agent shook his head, smirking. “It was my mission objective, of course I got it.” He paused. “I didn't kill Parados. It wasn't part of the mission, and it didn't matter if he lived or died, but… I had the opportunity, and I just left him there. I don't know why. I guess he was just so harmless and naive compared to some of the gang leaders I've faced. But he was clever, more so than some I've almost been killed by… Leaving him alive gives him the chance to become a more deadly threat. That said, I still don't think I would kill him, if I saw him again, knowing what he is, what he can be.” His teeth clicked as he stopped rambling.  
Q chewed on the inside of his cheek as he listened, leading James up to M’s office. “James… You… You don’t think he’ll come after you, do you?”  
Bond hummed, considering. “I don't think he knows who I am, but even if he did, I spared his life. All he knows I did was blow up his car and break into his country club. With all else that happened that day, I could be held responsible for nothing to everything with no one the wiser. I'm sure the other gang took credit for the things I did though, I can't see why they wouldn’t.”  
Q nodded his head slowly, not really feeling any better about the situation. ‘I’m just being paranoid,’ he told himself. He didn’t have anything to worry about. Parados wouldn’t come after them.  
James pressed a kiss to the back of Q’s hand as they reached M's office. He left Q with Moneypenny as she buzzed him in with a wave. The debrief went quickly, M short and to the point as always, congratulating him on getting the information despite being compromised. Though it went quickly, Bond still felt drained at the end of the 30 minutes. M surprised Bond by asking if he should be out of medical yet, the added bit of small talk making the agent raise an eyebrow. “Just decided to take a walk to help me stay awake, and hit two birds with one stone. Good day, sir.” M excused him and he came out, shutting the door very quietly when he realized Moneypenny was hugging Q. James leaned against the door, looking away to try and give them a bit of privacy.  
Q kept his back to him as he wiped his eyes, nodding his head in return to Eve’s murmured questions. Once she was sure that he was alright, Q went over to James and took his hand with a small smile.  
The agent squeezed Q’s hand gently and stroked the side of it soothingly. “It's almost been two hours. I'll admit I'm ready for sleep, even if it is in medical. Honestly, being woken up every hour would be better than this.” He admitted as they started on their walk back.  
“Okay.” Q nodded as they walked, hoping he didn’t look like too much of a mess after his conversation with Eve. “I’ll find a nurse once we get back.”  
James enjoyed watching the expressions of everyone who saw them and wondered if there had been a betting pool about whether or not he and Q had been together. The minions /were/ a lot of hopeless gossips. Swinging Q’s hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles, James thought he saw a group of office workers 'awwing' in his peripherals. “I can't wait to go home,” he murmured, the smell of antiseptic making his skin crawl as they got closer to Medical.  
“I know. We’ll go home in the morning. I promise.” Q led James back to his room and helped him down into the bed. “Do you need anything?”  
James settled back into the pillows, shaking his head and reaching his hand out to Q. “Just you,” he grinned teasingly.  
Q rolled his eyes at him with a small smile and took his hand as he leaned in to kiss the older man on the forehead. “Just let me talk to the nurse, then I’ll be right back.”  
The agent pouted theatrically, but nodded and watched him go. He took small sips from the cup on the counter, fighting the urge to stand and pace until Q came back. This wasn't the longest time he had spent in Medical, but this is may be the longest he had been while conscious and willing.  
Q returned after a few more minutes and smiled a bit as he sat next to James on the bed. He pulled the older man close again and kissed the top of his head. “Get some sleep. I’ll wake you in an hour.”  
James stifled a yawn as he curled into his Quartermaster, relaxing into his warmth. It took just seconds until his eyes were drooping and he blinked slowly up at Q. “I'm sorry,” he whispered. “About that… You know. What I said. I never ever want to hurt you. I never…” His eyes closed, voice faltering. “I love you…” A soft exhale escaped him and he doze off.  
Q held James close to him, burying his face in the older man’s hair as he finally allowed himself to cry freely. What he had said to James was so stupid. He could hardly believe that it actually came out of his mouth. And now he was hurt. He was hurt because Q just couldn’t let it go. He continued to cry silently for a while, wiping his eyes when the nurse came in to wake James. Q nodded and waved her off before pressing a kiss to the top of Bond’s head. “James… Sweetheart, you need to wake up now.”  
Slowly coming back to consciousness, James kept his eyes closed against the sure to be bright room. “‘M awake…” He mumbled, rolling onto his back so he’s not tempted to curl back into Q’s warmth and sleep again. The nurse returned and he answer all her questions like this, hoping he could hold onto his half asleep state until she left and he could just roll back into Q’s side and sleep. Finally, she asked him to open his eyes and he squinted open, ignoring the spike of pain. James followed her instructions moodily, feeling his dozing state slipping away and wondering if he would get any sleep at all for the next hour. He relaxed back against the pillows as she /finally/ left, turning his head to look at Q. His brow furrows as he took in the younger man’s flushed cheeks and red eyes. “... Q? Is something the matter?”  
Q looked down, avoiding Bond’s gaze, and shook his head. “I’m fine,” he replied softly as he moved to run his fingers through the older man’s hair gently before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Don’t worry about me, okay? Just get some sleep. I’ll be fine.”  
James shook his head a bit, leaning into Q’s touch. “I won't be able to for a while. I'm too awake now. Talk to me? It doesn't have to be about…” He trailed off, reaching up to brush his thumb under Q’s damp eyes. “Just talk to me,” he finished in a whisper.  
Q smiled at him tremulously and gently leaned into Bond’s touch with a slight nod. “Okay… Okay… We’ll talk. You… You’re going to get better and then we’re going to go home so you can get some rest. You really deserve some rest after this. And while I’m at work you can cuddle with Shadowfax and Archimedes. I could even give you an earpiece so we can talk while I’m away, if you want-”  
Bond’s breathing evened out rather quickly as he listened to Q’s voice, eyes failing to open again after a particularly long blink. He made a small noise as he shifted into a more comfortable position.  
Q looked down at James with a small smile and pressed another kiss to his forehead, whispering. “I’ve got you… I’ll take care of you…”


	25. Chapter 25

The next time James awoke, the nurse took Q out with them. He knew that he could go home, but they would want him to stay for observation for the rest of the night. The only way to do that was to convince Q, as he was the only one who could keep James there. The agent huffed and settled into the pillows, crossing his arms. The last thing he wanted was to be there any longer, but if Q said... Turning his face away, James huffed again, louder, as if it would get him home more quickly.  
Q returned to him after only a few minutes, glad he was still awake. “Hey,” the Quartermaster said softly as he sat down on the edge of the bed, gently running his fingers through Bond’s hair. “How’re you feeling?”  
James shrugged one shoulder, arms still crossed and not quite turned to face Q. “Fine. What did the nurse say?”  
Q sighed softly, knowing how bad the agent wanted to get out of there. “They want you to stay longer for observation.” He paused, biting his lips softly. “But I convinced them to let me take you home.”  
James had already started to wilt back into the pillows by the time the second half of Q’s sentence hit him. “You? What, really? We can go home?” He felt a bit dazed, incidentally like he had been hit upside the head again.  
Q nodded his head with a small smile, moving his hand to gently caress Bond’s cheek with his thumb. “Yeah, we can go home. You’ll feel better there.”  
The agent grinned widely, moving to sit up. He reached up to frame Q’s face, pressing a kiss to the younger man’s lips. “Thank you,” he whispered, leaning their foreheads together and closing his eyes in relief.  
Q smiled softly and nodded his head. “Come on. Let’s get you out of here.”  
James stood with Q’s help, relieved and eager to go. The nurses tried to give him instructions for caring for his wounds, but the agent just raised an eyebrow and they backed off. Grabbing a cab, he and Q got home quickly and, after entering the flat, James fell back on the couch and relaxed, breathing deeply the scent of home.  
Q smiled softly as he watched him, glad that they were finally home. He went back to the kitchen and put on the kettle as he hummed softly to himself.  
James leaned his head back against the cushions, listening to Q moving around, and felt the tension that had been heavy in his limbs while he had been in medical slowly drain out. He almost fell asleep there, closing his eyes, but managed to hold onto consciousness as he slipped into a tired haze.  
Q finished with the tea and poured a cup for each of them before going to sit next to James on the couch. He nudged him gently with his elbow. “James… You should drink this. You haven’t had anything since you got back.”  
James slowly raised his head, opening his eyes and rubbing his hands over his face a bit. “Tea?” He questioned as he slowly took the cup Q was holding out. “Thank you,” he whispered, not drinking it yet, but holding it close to him as he enjoyed the warmth of it and of Q next to him.  
Q nodded and gently played with the hair at the nape of the older man’s neck as he sipped his tea. “How’re you feeling now?”  
James relaxed into Q’s touch, trying to stifle a yawn. “Tired, mostly,” he murmured, assessing the rest of his body. Other than his bruises and sore muscles, James felt back to normal. He took a small sip of tea and, realizing how thirsty he was, started drinking the rest quickly.  
Q chuckled softly as he watched him, continuing to sip his tea. “Did you want to take a shower before bed?”  
James nodded consideringly. “I do. I just hope I don't fall asleep standing up…” He leaned forward and away from Q’s touch reluctantly, setting his cup on the table and pushing up until he was standing. He was relieved that he had barely any dizziness and leaned down to snag his mug again, taking it to the kitchen to wash.  
Q followed him into the kitchen after finishing his tea and placed his mug in the sink. “Do you want me to go with so that I can help you? Or will you be alright on your own?”  
James turned to Q, stepping closer and skimming the younger man’s jaw with his fingers. “Oh, I definitely wouldn't mind you joining me,” he murmured, smirking and leaning in to press a kiss just under Q’s jaw. Stepping back, James winked and turned to walk down the hall, shedding his clothes as he went.  
Q rolled his eyes at the agent as he followed. He stripped off his clothes in the bedroom before going through to the bathroom to help him.  
James was testing the temperature of the water when Q came in and he turned to the younger man with a smile, flicking water at him playfully and making him flinch. Stepping back into the shower, he leaned against the wall with half-lidded eyes, enjoying the warm water immensely.  
Q followed into the shower with a small smile, glad that James was seemingly feeling better. He stepped under the warm spray and got his hair wet before reaching for the shampoo and helping James rinse his hair.  
The agent relaxed into Q’s touch, closing his eyes under the spray of water. He hummed at the feeling of Q’s hands in his hair, leaning his head forward until it rested on his Quartermaster’s shoulder. Moving a step closer, he wrapped his arms around Q’s waist, sighing softly.  
Q smiled softly and pressed his lips to the top of the older man’s head before beginning to shampoo his hair.  
James stepped back reluctantly, blinking his eyes open. As much as he wanted to, a nap in the shower could have possibly disastrous outcomes. So, he grabbed the shampoo as well, lathering up Q’s curls and massaging his scalp gently with his fingertips. He smiled softly at Q, bumping his arms accidentally and trying not to get in the way.  
The Quartermaster chuckled softly as he moved his hands down to place them on the older man’s hips. He leaned up to press a kiss to Bond’s chin as he moved so that James could rinse his hair.  
James shut his eyes to the rush of water, letting Q move him however he wished and continuing to massage Q’s scalp and neck. He smiled when Q hummed at the feeling and helped him rinse his hair. James wiped his eyes, opening them once all the soap was out of his hair. He switched them and pulled Q under the stream, running his fingers through the younger man’s hair until the soap had all run out. Turning, he soaped up a washcloth and wiped away any remaining grime from the mission happily.  
Q gently helped James wash his body before rinsing him off and wrapping his arm around him, laying his head against the older man’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re home…”  
James tucked his head against Q’s, bringing a hand up to stroke the back of the younger man’s head. “I am, too,” he whispered, kissing Q’s cheek.  
Q smiled a bit and nodded, kissing Bond’s shoulder before pulling away. He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, handing James a towel before drying off himself.  
James dried off slowly, feeling sluggish and warm and two seconds from sleep. He followed Q into the bedroom, eyes focused on the narrow expanse of Q’s shoulders as he stared blankly ahead. He looked around the room blankly as they entered. “I haven't moved in yet,” he murmured crossly.  
Q chuckled softly and helped James sit down on the bed before finding him some sweatpants and a t-shirt to wear. “As soon as you’re better. We’ll get your things then.”  
James carefully slipped on the clothes, still grumbling a bit and tired. He pulled Q onto the bed with him, moving under the covers. “I'm better enough. Just let me have a little nap first,” he mumbled.  
Q nodded as he wrapped his arms around James and pulled him close. “Okay,” he sighed softly and pressed a kiss to the agent’s temple.  
James heaved a sleepy sigh, settling into Q’s arms and dropping off almost immediately. He had missed the feeling of being with him.  
The Quartermaster hummed softly and he held James in his arms. Once he was sure that the older man was asleep, he finally allowed himself to drift off as well.


	26. Chapter 26

Eve sent Q a text after James entered M’s office, telling him the agent had arrived. He smiled, glad that he was able to see him again despite the fact that it had only been a few hours. Q finished what he was doing and shut down his computer before grabbing his bag and leaving Q Branch. He hummed to himself as he made his way to the elevators, frowning when he saw the sign stating that they would be shut down for the next hour. He sighed softly and made his way to the stairwell, beginning his ascent up to M’s office.

James couldn't control his actions. That's the first thing he realized as he stepped out of M's office. He was walking normally, nothing different, just that he felt separate from it, dissociating entirely from what he was feeling and seeing. He could see Moneypenny stand and hear her speaking, but her words didn't register. The agent walked past her, trying to stop, to turn his head, to raise his hand, anything. When he stepped out of that area, just catching the weird /sound/ but not words from Moneypenny as he left, Bond saw a group of agents. This must be what M meant, about nothing stopping him. He walked towards them, the same relaxed stride and blank face, and they attacked, running towards him. He flipped one, slamming him to the ground using his own momentum. The next tried to punch James and he, horrified when he realized what he was going to do, grabbed the man’s arm as he dodged, then forced it down over his knee, snapping it cleanly at the elbow. Bond worked through the rest of the group, not feeling any of their hits, dealing out terrible blows. When he finished, James straightened his suit and moved on, walking towards the elevator. He was relieved to see it was closed. He didn't want to see anyone innocent stuck with him like this: cold, merciless, blood dripping slowly down his suit and off his hands that hung listlessly at his side. James moved towards the staircase, same relentless stride. What had happened to him? He tried moving again, but it was like any control he had had over his body had been passed to another. All he could do was watch. And remember…

Q continued up the stairs, scrolling through his phone as he looked through the restaurants in the area for a place for them to get lunch. He looked up when he heard footsteps coming down from above and smiled brightly when he realized that it was James. He quickened his pace to meet him. “James!”  
As soon as the agent saw Q on the staircase below him, James began struggling. He tried to make noise. He tried moving. He tried closing his eyes. He tried to hold his breath. He tried everything he could to gain the slightest bit of control and, as Q came closer, James began to panic. Of course, his breathing didn't change. His heart wasn't racing. He was completely blocked off from Q. James started hoping, god, praying that Q wouldn't try to stop him, that Q would see the blood and blankness about him and realize he wasn't who he thought James was. That he wasn't /him/ right now. James felt something dripping from his nose and realized it was bleeding. Maybe Q would see? Maybe Q would run? If James could just do something to get Q away from him.  
Q stopped at the bottom of the flight James was on and looked up at him, his brows furrowed as his smile faded. He took a few steps up and reached out to the agent. “James, what happened? You’re bleeding.”  
James watched in despair as he got closer. One hand grabbed Q at the wrist, the other at his elbow, twisting it behind Q’s back easily since the Quartermaster had not known to resist. James screamed, the only thing he could do as he watched himself push Q forward down the flight of steps. The agent’s body continued moving, the same hateful steady pace. He didn’t pause as he passed Q at the bottom of the flight, not knowing if he was okay, if he was hurt, if he was dead. James could hear screaming that wasn't his or Q’s and hoped to God that it was someone that could help, that could fix what he had done, because the only thing that he could see from this point was a bullet through his own skull at what he had done today. This was mindless pain, without cause, a trigger pulled without purpose. And Q… Q was hurt, by Bond’s hand. He felt more blood drip from his nose, both nostrils now. He tried to ignore everything that happened next, but he couldn't close his eyes, couldn't stop the destruction, couldn't do anything but watch. By the time James reached M, he felt numb. Blood dripped from his nose.

Q woke up in Medical the next day, his body aching. Eve was at his side instead of James and this was wrong, something was wrong with James’s absence, and then he remembered what had happened.  
“You only have a concussion and some bruising. Nurses say you’ll be out by the end of the day if you pass all the tests.”   
“Did you know about this?” Eve’s face darkened and he knew the answer.  
M entered the room just then. Q probably would have strangled him if he had the strength. “How are you feeling, Quartermaster?” Mallory asked him nonchalantly.  
“Well, I’ve definitely been better,” he replied through gritted teeth.  
“Yes, I’m sure. I’m terribly sorry about what’s happened.”   
Q took note of M’s stiff, strained posture. It was obvious that he wanted something. “But…?”  
M glanced at Moneypenny before staring at the foot of the bed. “Q… I need to ask you for the deactivation code.”  
“Oh, is that all?” Q scoffed. “You want me to just hand over the last thing you need in order to have complete control over the man I love? I don’t think so.” M just stared at him, open-mouthed, as Eve giggled softly at Q’s side. “What?” Q asked her with a raised brow.  
“Nothing,” she replied with a smirk.  
Q rolled his eyes at her as M regained his composure. “Will you do it, then?”  
“Do what?” Q looked up at him, still irritated.  
“Deactivate Bond. Someone has to do it, especially if you want to get the man you love back.” It was M’s turn to smirk as Q’s face flushed pink.  
The Quartermaster bit his lip softly before nodding his head. “Alright. Just let me put some clothes on first.” He sighed as he threw off the thin blanket, getting up slowly and grabbing his clothes. He began to dress carefully, unphased by the presence of his superior. Once he was dressed, Eve smoothed back his hair and M led him to where they were holding James.

James stood in an interrogation room for hours. M had recited the string of words and numbers to him, but nothing had happened except him prompting, “What are my orders?” M told him to stay where he was and hurried off, seemingly unnerved. People came in and circled around James, talking at him and prodding, nervously at first, but then more confidently, trying probably to find his off switch. James barely felt their touch, couldn't understand their words. This state, this confinement, it would drive him crazy, he could tell. The moment he regained control of his body, he would do it. Eat a bullet. It would be for the best, he told himself. He couldn't allow what just happened to happen again. James couldn't feel his body, but he was sure it was tired, aching. He wondered if he would be conscious when they brought him back out, or if this control would break and he would pass out. He wondered if he would just waste away if they couldn't bring him back out, if his body would eventually just fail. James almost wished that would happen. He deserved it for what he had done to Q.  
James didn’t exactly glance up, as he had been looking straight ahead the whole time, but- it didn't matter, the craziness of being stuck in his own head, because Q was standing in front of him and he was /aware/. Q was silent, and pale and bruised, but he was there. Q was /alive/ and okay. He couldn't see any bandages on him and James tried, tried to move, to show Q how relieved he was, how incredible it was to see him after hours of sitting in his mind, killing himself over it all. James felt the now familiar drip of blood from his nose, as it happened when he was agitated apparently. It creeped uncomfortably down his face and he wondered what had happened to the ones who had been watching him. James could only see Q. He only wanted to see Q  
Q bit his lip as he stepped closer to him, slowly reaching out to wipe the blood from Bond’s face. “I love you,” he said softly before leaning in closer to whisper the deactivation code in the agent’s ear.  
James tried his hardest to lean forward into Q’s touch, to show that he was there, to acknowledge… Q loved him. It was the last thought he had as his mind went blank, succumbing to darkness. His body collapsed as if his strings had been cut, falling into a deep, healing sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

It had taken a few days before Q was finally able to return to work. Eve came down to Q Branch often to chat, but he knew that she was just checking in to make sure that he was alright, that he was taking care of himself. It had been nearly two weeks now since the incident and Q still hadn’t visited James in Medical. He knew that none of this was the agent’s fault but Q just couldn’t get that dead look James had in his eyes out of his head. That’s all he saw when he thought of him.

James woke up in medical. His head ached terribly, and his body was sore, as if he had just come back from a mission, but the only injuries he had gotten from the last mission had been a concussion. He groaned, sitting up and throwing the sheets off himself, standing slowly. James wasn't wearing his clothes, but some baggy medical extras, which meant that he had been there for a while. He forced himself off the bed where he had been leaning and padded to the door. Glancing out, the agent shuffled towards the main desks, trying to find anyone who could tell him what was going on. He turned as a throat was cleared behind him, M standing a few feet away. He nodded to the room James had come from and he reluctantly led the way back in.  
They wouldn't discharge James because he was still getting nosebleeds and they didn't know why. Nosebleeds. How ridiculous. He was even being kept under direct surveillance by M, so unless he pulled some really special moves, he wasn't getting out of there any time soon. James had been handed some bullshit explanation that said a lot and absolutely nothing about why he was there and… And why Q /wasn't/. There had been an attack and he had responded and Q had been hurt. Ridiculous. Something serious had happened and, though he strained to remember something, anything about the several days he was missing, all he got in return was nightmares and bloody fucking noses. James tried not to think about the nightmares, but they stuck. Q laying, small and pale, in a hospital bed somewhere he wasn't. Q getting hurt, so, so many ways Q could be hurt. He tried to shake away the thoughts, grimacing when blood spatters appeared. Another nosebleed.

Q was overwhelmed with emotion when Eve came to tell him that James was awake. He was relieved that James was okay. Worried about his condition and what he remembered. Angry that this had happened. Scared that this could happen again. It took a lot of persuasion, but Eve had eventually managed to convince Q to go see him. He knew it wasn’t Bond’s fault, but he was still nervous about seeing him. James at least deserved to know that he was okay.   
When he arrived at Medical, Q was directed to his room and stopped by M. “You shouldn’t be here.”  
“I wouldn’t have to be here if it weren’t for you,” Q replied with a steely tone to his voice.   
James glanced up at the voices outside of his room, dropping the book he hadn't really been paying attention to and sitting up, leaning forward as he tried to hear what was being said. He couldn't make out the words, but he thought… It sounded like… 'If you were here, someone would have told me', he told himself, trying to dampen the flicker of hope that had sprung up in his chest.  
Q glared at M before walking past him and entering the room. He closed the door behind him and froze when he saw James. He hadn’t expected it to be this hard.  
James stared open-mouthed at Q for a second, taking in every inch of him. “Q,” he breathed, pushing himself to his feet to stand unsteadily in front of him. “You're okay?” He started to walk to Q, a huge smile tugging at his lips.  
Q took a step back, his back hitting the door as he stared at James, keeping his hand on the doorknob. He wasn’t ready for this, but he couldn’t leave now.  
James froze at Q’s retreat, smile fading. He stepped back warily when Q didn't relax. He could see the younger man’s hand on the doorknob and the last thing he wanted was for Q to leave, especially when this, whatever this was, was happening. “Q? I… I'm going to go back and sit on the bed now.” He followed his words, still worried that Q would run out. “Is this better?”  
Q bit his lip and nodded his head slowly. He didn’t know what to say or what James knew. He was mostly glad that James wasn’t pushing him. “What… What did they tell you?”  
James exhaled slowly at this confirmation of the lie he was being told. And Q was in on it. He looked down, away from Q. “We were unexpectedly attacked by a group of enemy agents. I engaged and, in the midst, received another blow to the head, hence the memory loss and nosebleeds. During the encounter…” He hesitated, glancing up at Q. “-you were hurt, and until now I thought you were being treated elsewhere for your injury. No one else was involved, no one else was hurt, and we don't tell anyone until we know why the insurgents were here, and how they got in, to avoid mass panic,” James recited, having heard the same response multiple times.  
Q nodded with a quiet sigh. “I, um… I fell down the stairs. Hit my head. Woke up here the next day… It’s just a mild concussion.” He shrugged, not saying anything else about what they had told James.  
The agent could tell Q was lying still and he didn't know how to feel about it. He dropped my gaze again, fidgeting as the room fell into an uneasy silence. Q was still pressed up against the door and he wouldn't tell James /why/. He set his jaw, nostrils flaring stubbornly. “Well, why don't you come in? This is my residence for the indeterminable future until they decide to let me go. Then I can…” He grit his teeth. “I can come back home, if that's still an option.” He refused to look at Q, trying to hide the frustrated twist in his lips.  
“James…” Q said softly, pausing to carefully think over his next words. “I… Don’t blame you for what happened, but…” He took a shaky breath. “I-I think I need some space right now.”  
James lifted his chin a little, blinking and biting his tongue. “You don't blame me for what happened. Q, I don't even know what-!” He cut himself off, taking a deep breath and dropping his head into his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. “How much space do you need? Just… Just tell me what you need.” His words were slightly muffled from his position, but clear.  
Q licked his dry lips, looking down at his shoes. He felt terrible for doing this to James, but how could he be around him when all he could think of was the dead look he had in his eyes as he pushed him down the stairs? “I don’t know…”  
James sat up slowly, pushing himself farther onto the bed and laying down on his back. “So, that's it then? Everyone's just going to keep lying to me, and you want… I guess it's a good thing I never got to moving out of my flat… You want space? Fine.” He closed his eyes, rolling to curl up on his side, facing away from Q. He felt wrecked, exhausted to the very core and like a bomb had gone off in his chest cavity, and he /still/ felt guilty for my words. He didn't want to hurt Q, especially not now when he was obviously affected by whatever had /happened/, but James didn't know what else to do. He had thought that having Q near him would fix it, make everything at least bearable, like Q’s presence always did. But this… “I'm sorry,” he whispered to the maybe empty room, not having heard Q move, but not believing that he would stay after… “I'm sorry,” he repeated and wrapped his arms around himself, ignoring the blood trickling down the side of his face.  
Q let out a shaky breath as he watched James. It hurt to see him like this. Q wanted to go over to him, to pull him into his arms, but he was frozen to the spot. “It’s not your fault, James.” It was M’s. He doubted he would ever be able to forgive him for this.  
“Then why am I getting punished for it?” James mumbled, blinking away the vague blurriness in his vision. He wanted to stop this, to help Q, but he couldn't move. He couldn't unlock himself from the small comfort his position afforded him, a slight protection from Q’s view.  
Q sniffled softly and wiped his eyes. When had he started crying? God, this was a bad idea. He had to tell James /something/. He let out a quiet sigh. “They… They’re keeping you here to make sure you don’t… Do anything stupid. I… I’ll tell you what really happened, but not until they release you and we’re both okay.”  
James sighed, feeling drained. “They're always trying to keep me here to make sure I don't do anything stupid. I just want to know why I'm being kept here by /armed/ guards. What did I /do/? I've never had memory loss like this from a concussion. Nothing is adding up and nobody will tell me anything.” He brought one hand up to rub at the headache that had started sharply behind his eyes.  
“They’re just… Making sure you’re stable. You got really violent.” Q sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Just be cooperative. You’ll be out soon.”  
“Be cooperative,” James snorted. “You know who you're talking to. And when I get out? What then? M has already given me my next assignment, and he said… He said I would be working with a different handler, which makes more sense now I guess,” he sighed, any tension in him leaving. He closed his eyes, wishing Q would leave but not able to say it, still wanting the comfort of his presence even if it was hurting him.  
“It… It’s only temporary,” Q sighed softly. “Until we’re both stable again… Just… Give it time.”  
James didn't answer, reaching out to the table in front of him and grabbing tissues to wipe away the blood he had been neglecting. It had regrettably stained the pillowcase, but he would just ask for a new one when the nurse came through next. He tossed the tissues onto the bedside table, thinking Q wouldn't see them anyways. “I've never been stable,” he sighed, the sudden apathy settling over him almost a relief.  
“I… I don’t know what you want me to do, James.” Q ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I’ve done everything I can.”  
James sighed, slowly rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. “I just want to know why, but I understand that no one will tell me that. No one will tell me why you're scared of me. No one will tell me why I'm locked up in here. I don't think anyone in the world can explain why M suddenly can't look me in the eye, like he feels guilty for something. So there's nothing you can do. So just…” He sighed frustratedly, wanting to punch something, throw something, as long as it was physical and not in this bloody ward that was more like a prison. “Just leave,” he finally forced out, skin feeling tight and hot.  
“I…” Q stared at him for a moment, not quite knowing what to do, what to say. “James, I… I lov-” He cut himself off with a quiet sigh as he turned and left the room. Tears streamed down his face as he made his way back to Q Branch, the minions staring as he entered. He locked himself in his office, sobbing quietly. He shouldn’t have gone. He only made things worse.  
Bond’s heart thundered and he sat up as Q left, wondering what he had been saying before. It had sounded like… James shut that train of thought down, laying back down slowly. It didn't matter anyways. Q wanted space? He would have it. James was a double-oh. He could be halfway around the world for months on end. He would give Q anything he wanted, after all. How could he not, when Q had taken his heart.  
Eventually James stood, stepping out of his room. M always seemed to be there to cajole him back into his room the moment he stepped out, and he didn't fail James now, appearing in seconds. “How can you manage to spend so much time out of office?” He mused as he lead M into the room. “Don't you have an entire branch of security to run?”   
M gave him a dry smile as he sat on the bed. “Was there something you wanted 007?”  
James smiled pleasantly at him. “Yes, actually, about my future assignments…” When M left, he smiled grimly. Space acquired.


	28. Chapter 28

Q never saw James in the weeks that had passed since he had visited him in Medical. Honestly, it kind of worried him. He didn’t know if James was still in Medical or if M had sent him home or on an assignment or what. Q’s nightmares began to fade as well and, soon, he was missing James. However, he didn’t know if he was allowed to miss him. Were they even together anymore? He doubted it, but that didn’t change the way he felt. It didn’t even matter if they were still together or not. Q missed seeing him, talking to him, working with him. When he finally asked M where James was, he told him that the agent had asked for a different handler, that he was away on an assignment. He wouldn’t even tell him who the new handler was. He returned to his desk in Q Branch with a heavy sigh and got back to work, hoping he hadn’t pushed James away forever.  
James straightened his back, pulling up as neutral and professional an expression as he could. This was the first time since he had asked for a different handler that he would see Q, talk to him. The agent wished it didn't have to be now; he was wan and tired and looked older than ever. The circles under his eyes were purple with both exhaustion and fading bruises from being punched recently. James ran into fights more often with this new handler, to the point where he had stopped trusting him and now they were barely on speaking terms. He had a hangover headache pulsing loud and bright behind his eyes from drinking until he finally slept the night before, sitting upright in a chair in the living room, gun clenched in his hand. James glared at the floor as he walked, then settled again into the bland expression. He had to get his equipment from Q, something about a higher clearance level for this new tech. He didn't know how to feel, though he could feel his heart pounding, anticipating, and yearning to see Q more with every step he took toward him. James tried to tell it to shut up, that Q might not even be ready to see him. 'But what if he was?' He shuddered imperceptibly at the thought.  
It had only been a few minutes since Eve had called Q to let him know that James was on his way down to pick up some equipment. After he had hung up, Q sat at his desk, staring blankly at the computer screen in front of him. He was finally going to see James. He could talk to him. He shut off the monitor before getting up from his desk and going to get the equipment ready. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Luckily, most of the minions had gone out on their lunch breaks so they wouldn’t see Q like this.  
James took a breath as he got closer, then stalked through the doors, unruffled looking. He found Q and quietly but determinedly made his way to him. “Q…” James murmured as he came to stand in front of the younger man.  
Q hadn’t seen him walk in but froze when he heard Bond’s voice, looking up at him. He let out a shaky breath. ‘Alright. Stay calm. Be professional,’ he thought to himself. “007,” he said with a small smile.  
James hesitated, smiling back uncertainly before continuing. “I've come to pick up my kit,” he said unnecessarily, but wanting to drag this out a little longer. It had been hell without Q. Sleepless nights, mission after mission to stay away from him. He wished more than ever that he could stop this and come back to his Quartermaster’s side, but at the same time, he felt hurt and unforgiving of Q’s actions.  
Q nodded and turned his back to grab a briefcase off the wall. James looked like he had been through hell and he couldn’t help but feel responsible. Sighing softly to himself, Q turned back to face him, placing the briefcase on the table and opening it. “You gun. Earpiece. Exploding watch… Car keys.” Q met Bond’s gaze, studying his face for a moment. “How are you?” He asked quietly, wanting him to stay longer.  
James nodded, glancing over what Q had given him, then looked up at him at the question. “I'm…” He was crashing hard. Soon he would be be that what Q said when they had met, the inevitability of time, a grand old warship, hauled away for scrap. “I'm doing fine. How are you?”  
“I’m alright.” Q nodded his head a bit. “Um…” He licked his lips, wondering if it was a good idea. It couldn’t hurt to ask, right? “James, I… I don’t when you’ll be back, but… Maybe we could… get coffee?” He bit his lip as he awaited an answer.  
James held his breath, trying to think of his answer. “I… That sounds nice. I will get in touch then, when I return?” He questioned, pulling the case toward him and shutting it carefully.  
Q nodded with a smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be here. Or you could call me. Whatever works for you. I don’t have any plans.” He took a deep breath to calm himself. He didn’t want to scared James away with his rambling.  
James picked up the briefcase, meeting Q’s gaze. “I look forward to it,” he smiled softly, meaningfully. Maybe things would go back to normal now? They would talk about it finally and get everything squared.  
Q nodded, smiling more. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders now that they were talking again. “Be careful out there.”  
“I'll try, you know I do my best.” He smiled even though, internally, he was cursing out his current handler. He made it harder for James to stay safe, made him make choices that could have been avoided with a bit more quick thinking on the handler’s end. Things that he was used to having from Q. Maybe after they talked… Maybe they would be ready to go back to that, at least.  
Q nodded with a small smile. “Oh, and, Bond? Do try to bring the equipment back all in one piece.”  
James raised his brow, a surprised yet pleased smile breaking out on his face at Q’s banter. “You know I can't make any promises.”  
The Quartermaster scoffed slightly. “Well, pretty soon, it’s going to start coming out of your pay.”  
“You always say that, but I don't think you will follow through. Regardless, I will try.” James grinned, beginning to walk away. He, regretfully, had to get to his plane, though leaving when they seemed to be on speaking terms again was the last thing he wanted to do.  
Q watched the agent go with a small smile on his face. It came back to them so naturally, it was almost as if nothing had even happened.

The mission had been physically hard, mostly from the bloody incompetence of Bond’s handler, but mentally, rather boring. As soon as James got back he debriefed with M, trying not to seem hurried, but he noticed and engaged the agent in small talk until he admitted that he had a date. M actually grinned. “You've finally gotten your head out of your ass, then? Tell Q I said hi.” He asked if he should give the next mission to a different agent and James excused himself finally, practically running from the room. He still had to return his kit, so he began making his way to Q Branch. James hadn't lost any of the equipment this mission, though the earpiece was broken, not so accidentally disabled when his handler had resorted to saying petty threats instead of leading him out of the hostile zone. James grabbed a piece of paper, writing a quick note on it and slipping it into the briefcase before handing it to a minion and telling her to get it to Q. He left headquarters, going back to his small, empty flat and stripping quickly, showering then collapsing in his bed, snagging his gun in a loose hold as he fell asleep in moments.

Q furrowed his brows when Bond’s kit was handed to him, but smiled when he read the note which read, “Merry Christmas- James” and looked over the equipment. He could hardly believe that everything was there (even if it was a bit damaged). But James was home, which was an even better Christmas present than having all the equipment returned. He was safe and Q could finally see him again. He returned the his desk and awaited the agent’s call, knowing he was probably exhausted from the mission.

When James woke next, he checked the time, relieved to see that it had only been a few hours. He stumbled out of bed, pulling on a pair of loose flannel pants and going to search for his phone and something to eat. He ordered food first, his body screaming at him, then dialed Q’s number, staring at the screen for a few seconds and biting his lip as his heart rate picked up. Finally, James huffed and pressed call, turning to find his wallet to pay for the food when it arrived.  
Wanting to make sure that James had not suffered any major physical trauma, Q pulled up the Smart Blood program on his computer and read over the diagnostics. Everything seemed fine until he saw Bond’s heart rate increase. Q bit his lip, wondering what could be wrong, and nearly jumped when his phone rang. He picked it up without looking at who was calling.  
James hesitated as Q picked up, then took a deep breath and spoke. “Did you get my note?” He tried for lightheartedness, hoping to avoid any awkwardness.  
Q exhaled deeply, finally understand the increase in Bond’s heart rate. “Yes, I did. Thank you.”  
James grinned. “I'm glad. It took a lot to keep those gadgets safe. Hey, I actually had a question about the exploding watch. If it gets, say, smashed because I'm blocking a hit, it wouldn't explode, right?” He said, rubbing a hand over the large bruise he had just below his wrist, a leftover from blocking a hit with a baseball bat that had just barely avoided being a fracture.  
The Quartermaster chuckled softly at his question. “It shouldn’t, no. That’s one of the first things I fixed when testing it.”  
James sighed in relief, remembering the small flare of panic he had experienced when realizing the bat was going to hit the watch, the one object on his body that was guaranteed to explode. It had forced him to shove his arm forward another inch, nearly causing him to falter enough that he misjudged the swing. “Well, that's a relief, I'll keep that in mind.” 'For next time,” his mind filled in. James hesitated, wondering if he should ask… “So, how are you?” He blurted out almost awkwardly, his voice just a little too loud.  
Q smiled to himself and nodded. “I… I’m good. A lot better than I have been.” He sighed softly. “What about you? Did you stop by Medical before going home?”  
James froze at the question, trying not to think of the last time he was in Medical. “Oh, yeah, clean bill of health and all that.” He answered casually. He hadn't returned to Medical since the day they had released him, the day after Q had visited… Even with his influx of injuries from his incompetent handler, James had gone back to his habit of taking care of his own wounds.  
Q nodded a bit with a small smile. It was amazing how much happier he was even just talking to James on the phone. “That’s good… Um, did you still want to get that coffee?”  
James nodded even though Q couldn't see him. “Yeah, I would. Are you free tomorrow morning?” He grinned to himself, balancing the phone between his neck and shoulder as he went to pay the delivery man, taking his food back upstairs.  
“Yeah,” Q smiled. “Yeah, we could meet an hour before work?”  
“That sounds great. I know there's a few cafés around work, would you like to go to one of those or do you have one in mind?”  
“Wherever’s fine,” Q shrugged. “Just text me the address and I’ll be there.”  
James smiled to himself, knowing where to take Q. “Okay, I'll text you tomorrow morning. I look forward to seeing you,” he said in a softer tone, settling himself at the table with his food.  
“You, too.” ‘I miss you,’ he wanted to add, but didn’t know if it was appropriate. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
“I'll see you then,” James confirmed, ending the call soon after. He started in on his food, thinking about all the things he wanted to say to Q and then narrowed it down to the things he really /needed/ to know. What had he done that nobody would tell him about? What had happened that Q so /afraid/ of James that he had, in essence, broken up with him? Especially when things were going so well? Was this something that could be solved? James stopped himself there. That was a good start, as long as they got those out of the way, the rest should be easier. They still might have a chance. James finished his food, cleaning up quickly after himself, then any mess he had left the night before when he had come in. He checked all his injuries, making sure nothing was bleeding, infected, or broken. That done to his satisfaction, James crawled back into bed, setting an alarm for early the next morning. He settled back into a comfortable position, sliding his hand under his pillow to touch the cold metal. He slipped easily into a dreamless sleep, body still exhausted from the latest in the seemingly endless string of missions he had requested. ‘Maybe it could stop here?’ He thought blearily and thought no more.  
Once their call was ended, Q packed up his things and left Q Branch, taking a cab back to his flat. He filled the cat bowls once he returned and went to change his clothes before getting into bed. He stared up at the ceiling for a while, unable to sleep. He had no idea what was going to happen between him and James. He knew that the agent had a lot of questions, but what happened after that? He closed his eyes, not wanting to think about it, and drifted off to sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

Q hadn’t seen James in the weeks that had passed since he had visited him in Medical. Honestly, it kind of worried him. He didn’t know if James was still in Medical or if M had sent him home or on an assignment or what. Q’s nightmares began to fade as well and, soon, he was missing James. However, he didn’t know if he was allowed to miss him. Were they even together anymore? He doubted it, but that didn’t change the way he felt. It didn’t even matter if they were still together or not. Q missed seeing him, talking to him, working with him. When he finally asked M where James was, he told him that the agent had asked for a different handler, that he was away on an assignment. He wouldn’t even tell him who the new handler was. He returned to his desk in Q Branch with a heavy sigh and got back to work, hoping he hadn’t pushed James away forever.

James straightened his back, pulling up as neutral and professional an expression as he could. This was the first time since he had asked for a different handler that he would see Q, talk to him. The agent wished it didn't have to be now; he was wan and tired and felt his age more than ever. The circles under his eyes were purple with both exhaustion and fading bruises from being punched recently. James ran into fights more often with this new handler, to the point where he had stopped trusting him and now they were barely on speaking terms. He had a hangover headache pulsing loud and bright behind his eyes from drinking until he finally slept the night before, sitting upright in a chair in the living room, gun clenched in his hand. James glared at the floor as he walked, then settled again into the bland expression. He had to get his equipment from Q, something about a higher clearance level for this new tech. He didn't know how to feel, though he could feel his heart pounding, anticipating, and yearning to see Q more with every step he took toward him. James tried to tell it to shut up, that Q might not even be ready to see him. 'But what if he is?' He shuddered imperceptibly at the thought.

It had only been a few minutes since Eve had called Q to let him know that James was on his way down to pick up some equipment. After he had hung up, Q sat at his desk, staring blankly at the computer screen in front of him. He was finally going to see James. He could talk to him. He shut off the monitor before getting up from his desk and going to get the equipment ready. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Luckily, most of the minions had gone out on their lunch breaks so they wouldn’t see Q like this.  
James took a breath as he got closer, then stalked through the doors, forcing himself to seem calm and unruffled. He found Q and quietly but determinedly made his way to him. “Q…” James murmured as he came to stand in front of the younger man.  
Q hadn’t seen him walk in but froze when he heard Bond’s voice, looking up at him. He let out a shaky breath. ‘Alright. Stay calm. Be professional,’ he thought to himself. “007,” he said with a small smile.  
James hesitated, smiling back uncertainly before continuing. “I've come to pick up my kit,” he said unnecessarily, but wanting to drag this out a little longer. It had been hell without Q. Sleepless nights, mission after mission to stay away from him. He wished more than ever that he could stop this and come back to his Quartermaster’s side, but at the same time, he felt hurt and unforgiving of Q’s actions.  
Q nodded and turned his back to grab a briefcase off the wall. James looked like he had been through hell and he couldn’t help but feel responsible. Sighing softly to himself, Q turned back to face him, placing the briefcase on the table and opening it. “Your gun. Earpiece. Exploding watch… Car keys.” Q met Bond’s gaze, studying his face for a moment. “How are you?” He asked quietly, wanting him to stay longer.  
James nodded, glancing over what Q had given him, then looked up at him at the question. “I'm…” He was crashing hard. Soon he would be be that what Q said when they had met, the inevitability of time, a grand old warship, hauled away for scrap. “I'm doing fine. How are you?”  
“I’m alright.” Q nodded his head a bit. “Um…” He licked his lips, wondering if it was a good idea. It couldn’t hurt to ask, right? “James, I… I don’t when you’ll be back, but… Maybe we could… get coffee?” He bit his lip as he awaited an answer.  
James held his breath, trying to think of his answer. “I… That sounds nice. I will get in touch then, when I return?” He questioned, pulling the case toward him and shutting it carefully.  
Q nodded with a smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be here. Or you could call me. Whatever works for you. I don’t have any plans.” He took a deep breath to calm himself. He didn’t want to scare James away with his rambling.  
James picked up the briefcase, meeting Q’s gaze. “I’ll look forward to it,” he smiled softly, meaningfully. Maybe things would go back to normal now? They would talk about it finally and get everything squared.  
Q nodded, smiling more. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders now that they were talking again. “Be careful out there.”  
“I'll try, you know I do my best.” He smiled even though, internally, he was cursing out his current handler. He made it harder for James to stay safe, made him make choices that could have been avoided with a bit more quick thinking on the handler’s end. Things that he was used to having from Q. Maybe after they talked… Maybe they would be ready to go back to that, at least.  
Q nodded with a small smile. “Oh, and, Bond? Do try to bring the equipment back all in one piece.”  
James raised his brow, a surprised yet pleased smile breaking out on his face at Q’s banter. “You know I can't make any promises.”  
The Quartermaster scoffed slightly. “Well, pretty soon, it’s going to start coming out of your pay.”  
“You always say that, but I don't think you will follow through. Regardless, I will try.” James grinned, beginning to walk away. He, regretfully, had to get to his plane, though leaving when they seemed to be on speaking terms again was the last thing he wanted to do.  
Q watched the agent go with a small smile on his face. It came back to them so naturally, it was almost as if nothing had even happened.

The mission had been physically hard, mostly from the bloody incompetence of Bond’s handler, but mentally, rather boring. As soon as James got back he debriefed with M, trying not to seem hurried, but he noticed and engaged the agent in small talk until he admitted that he had a date. M actually grinned. “You've finally gotten your head out of your ass, then? Tell Q I said hi.” He asked if he should give the next mission to a different agent and James excused himself finally, practically running from the room. He still had to return his kit, so he began making his way to Q Branch. James hadn't lost any of the equipment this mission, though the earpiece was broken, not so accidentally disabled when his handler had resorted to saying petty threats instead of leading him out of the hostile zone. James grabbed a piece of paper, writing a quick note on it and slipping it into the briefcase before handing it to a minion and telling her to get it to Q. He left headquarters, going back to his small, empty flat and stripping quickly, showering then collapsing in his bed, snagging his gun in a loose hold as he fell asleep in moments.

Q furrowed his brows when Bond’s kit was handed to him, but smiled when he read the note which read, “Merry Christmas- James” and looked over the equipment. He could hardly believe that everything was there (even if it was a bit damaged). But James was home, which was an even better Christmas present than having all the equipment returned. He was safe and Q could finally see him again. He returned the his desk and awaited the agent’s call, knowing he was probably exhausted from the mission.

When James woke next, he checked the time, relieved to see that it had only been a few hours. He stumbled out of bed, pulling on a pair of loose flannel pants and going to search for his phone and something to eat. He ordered food first, his body screaming at him, then dialed Q’s number, staring at the screen for a few seconds and biting his lip as his heart rate picked up. Finally, James huffed and pressed call, turning to find his wallet to pay for the food when it arrived.  
Wanting to make sure that James had not suffered any major physical trauma, Q pulled up the Smart Blood program on his computer and read over the diagnostics. Everything seemed fine until he saw Bond’s heart rate increase. Q bit his lip, wondering what could be wrong, and nearly jumped when his phone rang. He picked it up without looking at who was calling.  
James hesitated as Q picked up, then took a deep breath and spoke. “Did you get my note?” He tried for lightheartedness, hoping to avoid any awkwardness.  
Q exhaled deeply, grinning as he realized what had caused the increase in Bond’s heart rate. “Yes, I did. Thank you.”  
James grinned. “I'm glad. It took a lot to keep those gadgets safe. Hey, I actually had a question about the exploding watch. If it gets, say, smashed because I'm blocking a hit, it wouldn't explode, right?” He said, rubbing a hand over the large bruise he had just below his wrist, a leftover from blocking a hit with a baseball bat that had just barely avoided being a fracture.  
The Quartermaster chuckled softly at his question. “It shouldn’t, no. That’s one of the first things I fixed when testing it.”  
James sighed in relief, remembering the small flare of panic he had experienced when realizing the bat was going to hit the watch, the one object on his body that was guaranteed to explode. It had forced him to shove his arm forward another inch, nearly causing him to falter enough that he misjudged the swing. “Well, that's a relief, I'll keep that in mind.” 'For next time,” his mind filled in. James hesitated, wondering if he should ask… “So, how are you?” He blurted out almost awkwardly, his voice just a little too loud.  
Q smiled to himself and nodded. “I… I’m good. A lot better than I have been.” He sighed softly. “What about you? Did you stop by Medical before going home?”  
James froze at the question, trying not to think of the last time he was in Medical. “Oh, yeah, clean bill of health and all that.” He answered casually. He hadn't returned to Medical since the day they had released him, the day after Q had visited… Even with his influx of injuries from his incompetent handler, James had gone back to his habit of taking care of his own wounds.  
Q nodded a bit with a small smile. It was amazing how much happier he was even just talking to James on the phone. “That’s good… Um, did you still want to get that coffee?”  
James nodded even though Q couldn't see him. “Yeah, I would. Are you free tomorrow morning?” He grinned to himself, balancing the phone between his neck and shoulder as he went to pay the delivery man, taking his food back upstairs.  
“Yeah,” Q smiled. “Yeah, we could meet an hour before work?”  
“That sounds great. I know there's a few cafés around work, would you like to go to one of those or do you have one in mind?”  
“Wherever is fine,” Q shrugged. “Just text me the address and I’ll be there.”  
James smiled to himself, knowing where to take Q. “Okay, I'll text you tomorrow morning. I look forward to seeing you,” he said in a softer tone, settling himself at the table with his food.  
“You, too.” ‘I miss you,’ he wanted to add, but didn’t know if it was appropriate. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
“I'll see you then,” James confirmed, ending the call soon after. He started in on his food, thinking about all the things he wanted to say to Q and then narrowed it down to the things he really /needed/ to know. What had he done that nobody would tell him about? What had happened that Q so /afraid/ of James that he had, in essence, broken up with him? Especially when things were going so well? Was this something that could be solved? James stopped himself there. That was a good start, as long as they got those out of the way, the rest should be easier. They still might have a chance. James finished his food, cleaning up quickly after himself, then any mess he had left the night before when he had come in. He checked all his injuries, making sure nothing was bleeding, infected, or broken. That done to his satisfaction, James crawled back into bed, setting an alarm for early the next morning. He settled back into a comfortable position, sliding his hand under his pillow to touch the cold metal. He slipped easily into a dreamless sleep, body still exhausted from the latest in the seemingly endless string of missions he had requested. ‘Maybe it could stop here?’ He thought blearily and thought no more.  
Once their call was ended, Q packed up his things and left Q Branch, taking a cab back to his flat. He filled the cat bowls once he returned and went to change his clothes before getting into bed. He stared up at the ceiling for a while, unable to sleep. He had no idea what was going to happen between him and James. He knew that the agent had a lot of questions, but what happened after that? He closed his eyes, not wanting to think about it, and drifted off to sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

James awoke feeling vaguely refreshed for the first time since he had left Medical. He realized that he wasn't hungover and maybe that made all the difference. He showered, dressed, and grabbed his phone, texting Q the address. Snagging his jacket, James locked his flat behind him, heading to the hole-in-the-wall café that he thought Q might like. Far from the gleaming chrome and white of Q branch and MI6 and other work associated things for Q, it was smaller, more like the environment of his flat. James was hoping it would make Q feel comfortable, as it had to him the first time he had found it. He had spent quite a few hours in this café, not knowing what had drawn him there. Then he had met Vesper and… Well, he hadn't been to the café in a while.

Q woke up early that morning and showered before getting dressed. He found that he couldn’t stop smiling. He was just so excited to see James, to spend time with him. After seeing to the cat bowls, he got his bag ready and headed out the door, checking his phone for the address.  
James arrived early, grabbing a table and telling the waitress he was meeting someone. She walked off and he glanced out the window to his right, watching the passersby and nervously straightening the items on the table. Finally, he stopped himself, lacing his fingers together and bracing them against his lips. Nervous as he was, James couldn't wait to see Q, to be around him. He had missed Q so much that it seemed like years since they had been together and happy. James closed his eyes, resting his chin on his hands. Hopefully that was something well within reach again.  
Q finally arrived, after taking a wrong turn along the way, and stepped inside. He looked around and smiled when he saw James, heading over and sitting down across from him. He saw that the agent’s eyes were closed and cleared his throat to announce his presence.  
James blinked his eyes open, a little startled that he had let his guard down like that, but a smile came easily to his lips at the welcome sight. “Hey.” He let his eyes wander over Q’s face, lingering on his lips for half a second before he jolted his gaze back to Q’s eyes, scolding himself. “Made it here alright?”  
Q shrugged with a small smile. “I made a wrong turn a few blocks back, but I made it. How are you?” He could see any bruises, but James was also well-covered by his suit.  
“I'm doing well.” He made it a blanket statement. Yeah, overall he was fine. Probably. “How are you?” He smiled at Q and gestured to the waitress to come take their orders.  
“I’m alright.” Q nodded with a smile and ordered a coffee, not taking his eyes off James.  
Bond smiled at that, holding Q’s gaze as he ordered a coffee as well. He tried to think of a way to turn the conversation to the more serious topic, but waffled on instead, not wanting to break the easy feeling between them. “How has work been? Less stressful not having to deal with my exploits?” He tried to joke, his tone just barely not falling flat at the end.  
“Rather boring, actually,” he answered with a shrug. “I was never assigned to another agent. They just had me working on upgrading our security and making new gadgets.”  
James frowned at that, wondering why Q wasn’t being utilized for other agents. The thought of Q helping other agents, teasing and chatting with another double-oh, made his chest suddenly tighten. James cleared his throat, glancing out the window for a moment as he tried to clear the rush of jealousy for a situation that wasn't even an issue. “That doesn't sound too bad. Maybe not a challenge for one with your ability, but definitely important work.” He gave the waitress a stiff smile as their coffee was delivered.  
Q shrugged, thanking the waitress before sipping his coffee. “It just wasn’t the same without you around, though. But I asked for it…”  
James glanced up at Q a bit sharply. “What… You asked for what?” He squinted to the side nervously and licked his lips.  
“Space…” Q replied softly, staring down into his cup of coffee.  
James tried to think of a way to respond, finally just taking his first sip of coffee. He took another sip before speaking again. “Q, will you… Will you tell me what I did? I… No one, not even M will tell me.”  
Q let out a quiet sigh. James deserved to know, even if he knew it would hurt him. “You, um… You have a sort of… Kill switch. I found it when I was looking through your file for something. I fell asleep at my desk and M woke me. He must have read it beforehand and decided to test it.”  
James blinked slowly, setting down his cup. “Kill switch? He... Tested it?” A look of horror slowly grew on his face, hands moving to clench the table’s edge, knuckles slowly turning white. “I don't… I don't remember anything. What did I do?”  
Q reached over and gently placed his hand over Bond’s. “James… You… You didn’t kill anyone. M set up an objective. You were supposed to get to him by any means necessary. I… I came across you in the stairwell. I didn’t know what was going on until after, but… You, um… You grabbed my arm, pinned it behind my back… Pushed me down the stairs… I’m okay, though. Really.”  
Bond’s eyes locked with Q’s, his body entirely frozen. Nightmares from the time he was in Medical flashed by in his mind, of seeing, actually seeing what Q was describing, seeing Q’s body crumpled at the bottom of the stairwell. His vision was going grey at the edges, spots dancing across Q’s face and James could feel liquid dripping over his slightly parted lips, it's bitter iron/salt taste telling him that his nose was bleeding again. James suddenly heaved in a breath, becoming aware that he had been holding his breath, and jerked violently away from Q’s touch, almost knocking his coffee off the table.  
Q’s eyes widened and he quickly got up, going around to James and placing his hands on either side of the older man’s face. “James… James, look at me. Look at me. I’m okay. It’s okay. It’s never going to happen again. I made sure of it.”  
James looked into Q’s eyes, fighting the urge to break away from his touch, to run far far away from Q where he could never hurt him again. “I- I'm sorry. I hurt you. I'm so sorry, I…” He took a shuddering breath, trying to relax, trying to convince himself to listen to Q’s words. “How do you know? How do you know it'll never happen again? How does it happen? Is there a trigger? M found out, how do you know that information can't be found by someone else?” He whispered urgently to Q, tremors running through his body at the possibilities this could hold. “How did this happen? Am I the only one with a… A kill switch?”  
“I deleted the file. I haven’t checked any of the other agents yet, but I think you were conditioned during your training. James… I promise you, I’m alright. It wasn’t your fault.”  
James slowly calmed himself, a low pit of anger starting to burn in his gut. “How can you say that? How can you be okay with this? I-” He stopped himself, trying to control himself before he directed his anger towards Q. He didn't know who he was angry at now. MI6? M? Himself? James capped the anger, forcing himself to relax. “I get it. Why you need space. I'll… I'll leave you alone. I'm s-” He tried to disengage from Q’s grip, avoiding the younger man’s gaze.  
“No…” Q shook his head, letting his hands fall to his sides. “James, I’m okay. I’m better now. Why do you think I asked you to coffee?” He sighed softly. “I don’t blame you for any of this. And I don’t want you to blame yourself, either. It’s not your fault.”  
“Not my fault? Q, how can you say that? I pushed you down a /staircase/,” he whispered miserably. “How could I allow myself to do that, even under whatever trance I was in? I just…” He put his head in his still shaking hands. “How can you forgive me for that?”  
Q reached out and gently ran his fingers through Bond’s hair. “That wasn’t you. M did this, not you. As far as I’m concerned, he was the one who pushed me down those stairs.”  
James shuddered once at the words, but took a deep breath and looked up at Q. “You're all right now? Did you… Did you have someone to talk to? Does anyone else know? Did I hurt anyone else?” He clenched his teeth, trying to stop the flow of questions before he overwhelmed them both.  
“Moneypenny found me. She’s the only one who knows. You hurt the agents that were sent to stop you, but M had expected that to happen, I suppose.” He sighed softly. “James, I really am okay.”  
James focused on Q’s eyes, straightening up in his seat some. “You're okay… But are you okay around me? Is this… Are we still…” He trailed off, knowing Q would understand him.  
Q stared at him as he thought it over. When he finally opened his mouth to reply, his phone began to ring. With a heavy sigh, he pulled it out of his pocket to see M’s name on the screen and answered reluctantly. “Yes, sir?... Right away, sir. I’ll call him in.” He hung up with a sigh before looking at James. “They need us.”  
James held Q’s gaze for a heavy moment, then let his eyes slide away with a nod. He pulled out his wallet, tossing enough to cover the bill onto the table, then finally took a breath and looked back at Q. “This conversation isn't over yet, right? We'll meet up again, after whatever this is?” He let his voice trail up at the end of his sentence, making it a question, though he was relatively sure of the answer.  
Q looked at James for a moment before nodding his head. “Yes. Of course, we will. As soon as you get home. Promise.” He gave him a small smile.  
“Home…” James murmured, a sad light entering his eyes. He sniffed in a breath, draining the rest of his coffee and standing. “I'll call you when I get back, then.” He grinned down at Q, knocking the table twice as he began to make his way towards the door, tossing a wave at the waitress before he glanced back at Q. “It's a promise.” He left the café, a small bubble of hope buoying his steps a little as he began to make his way to HQ, even with the bad timing of M's call.  
Q shook his head at him with a small smile before following him out of the cafe. He was hopeful that, soon enough, things would go back to the way they were before.


	31. Chapter 31

James reached M's office quickly, nodding to Moneypenny on the way in. M handed over a folder as he came up to his desk. “You're going to Mexico City in an hour. I suggest you pack lightly. You'll only be there for a few days.” He turned away to dismiss the agent. “Q Branch has your kit.”  
James nodded, strolling out. A small smile formed on his lips as he began to make his way down. Soon, he strolled through the doors of Q Branch, slipping through the minions to stand behind Q without his notice. “Long time, no see,” he muttered casually, leaning in slightly.  
Q jumped slightly with a gasp and looked back at James with a scowl, punching the agent’s arm gently. “Don’t do that! Especially when I’m working.” He glared at him a moment longer before going around to get James his kit, opening it for him. “Right. Your gun, earpiece, and something extra. A collapsible assault rifle.”  
James grinned, trying to straighten his expression while Q glared at him, then followed the Quartermaster around the table, picking up the gun. He fiddled with it for a bit, toggling between extended and collapsed a few times before setting it back in its case. “I like the new toy. Is it a prototype or have you been holding out on me?” He teased, clipping the case shut and picking it up.  
“I’ve been working on it for a while,” Q replied with a shrug. “Just finished with the testing, so you’ll be the first agent to take it out into the field. And, Bond… Don’t lose it.”  
James nodded, giving Q his best innocent look. “No worries, Q. I'll do my best.” He began to back away to leave, but paused, stepping back closer to the younger man. “Q, is there any chance M doesn't know about my Smart Blood?” He asked casually.  
“There’s a good chance that he does,” Q sighed. “He doesn’t have access, though.” He raised a brow at the agent. “Why?”  
James skirted his eyes to the side and opened his mouth, a lie already forming on his tongue, but hesitated, glancing at Q. “Do you trust me?” He turned fully towards Q, suddenly meeting his gaze intensely. “Do you trust me to not use my talents against England? I'm not asking for more than keeping M away from Smart Blood during this mission.” He broke their gaze to glance at his watch, expression tightening. “I'll explain later. I have to go. Just… Please?”  
Q bit his lip softly, brows furrowed with concern as he kept his eyes on James. Finally, he nodded his head. “Alright. I trust you. Just… Make sure you come back in one piece, yeah?”  
James released his breath in a soft, relieved sigh, nodding slowly. “I will. I'll see you in a few days.” He stepped back once, then finally turned, breaking eye contact and quickly making his way out of Q Branch. He went straight to the airport, only stopping to snag his duffle from his flat. As the plane took off, James took out his laptop, ordering a mask and suit. It was Dia de Los Muertos in Mexico City on the first day that he would be there and his mission wouldn't truly begin until the second day. Mallory always seemed to underestimate the amount of damage James could do in a day.  
Q kept the Smart Blood program on his computer screen. He knew that James was in flight, but he finally had him back in his life.

James dumped the helicopter out in an empty lot somewhere in the winding streets of Mexico and stepped out, casually ignoring the bystanders watching curiously. He made his way back to the hotel and snuck into his room, avoiding contact with those that would remember him until he looked presentable. The next day, James finished his mission easily, spending the rest of the time he had until the plane left lazing around the hotel, making sure there was lots of footage of him at the hotel. All he would have to do was sneak into the system and change the timestamp on a few of the frames. He was wearing different outfits and styled his hair slightly differently, anything so M wouldn't bother to find enough proof to suspend him. As he sat in the cab on the way to the airport, James did just that, easily breaking into the camera system and switching around a few clips of footage, one of the bits of computer training he had received. The agent tapped his fingers on the armrest of his airplane seat, almost nervous for the confrontation with Q waiting for him in London. The Quartermaster would want to know exactly why he had been lying to M, and James knew he would probably understand, but… The possibility that he wouldn't, that he would ground him, turn him into Mallory… James carefully gripped the arm, steadying his fingers. He just had to trust Q. It was the least he could do when Q still trusted him.

As soon as M saw the footage of the helicopter crash in Mexico City, he was down in Q’s office.   
“Search all the cameras in the area.”  
It didn’t take long before James showed up, his blurry profile heading past the very bottom edge of a camera's view, only recognizable to those who knew him well. M began to curse behind him, the words slightly muffled by his hand over his mouth. Q sighed.  
“Look, maybe there’s some other explanation…” He tried weakly, but M snorted derisively.  
“Don’t take me for an idiot, Q, get the footage of his hotel.”  
A few clicks later, he brought it up. Sitting there, almost smugly, in the hotel’s bar was James, the timestamp for the day and time of the helicopter crash. They sat in silence for an agonizingly long time as Q continuously played the footage, showing both days. Bond only seemed to be missing for the time he was completing his assigned mission. Finally, M groaned.   
“Enough.” Q shut off the feed, spinning in his chair to see M pinching the bridge of his nose. “He does this on purpose, how am I going to explain this…”  
Mallory stood silently for a few more seconds, then looked to Q again consideringly.  
“How is that Smart Blood program going? You said that you had tried it out on an agent?”  
“Yes,” Q answered, a slight bit nervous and suddenly aware that the program was still running in the background of one of his screens. “I decided on Trevelyn, and it’s been showing very positive results. Most tests I’ve run have come back positive and those that weren’t at first were easy fixes within the script. The only tests I haven’t run have to do with long term results and that’ll take time of course.” Q looked up from his rambling to see M staring blankly at him.   
“I would’ve thought you would use it on Bond, you two were involved at that point, weren’t you?” Q’s breath caught imperceptibly, but M didn’t look suspicious, only resigned. “Is it ready for other agents?”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“As soon as Bond gets back from his... Vacation, make sure to set him up with the tech, if you would. I’ll send him straight to you from my office. I have no real proof, but he needs to be taught a lesson.” M left swiftly, leaving Q to worry about the consequences. Hopefully M’s punishment when James returned wouldn’t be too harsh.  
He smiled softly to himself at the thought of James coming home. He knew that things were still rocky between them, but they still had a chance and that’s what mattered.

Not for the first time as a double-oh, James considered just dropping out and not reporting in for a few days. With a heavy sigh, he shouldered his duffle, stepping into the light London rain and hailing a cab. He gave them the address to the flat he rented and sat back, waiting for the reaming M was sure to give him. There was no way M hadn't made the connection, even with the measures James had taken against it. He dropped his bag off in the flat before making his way the couple of blocks to headquarters, going to M's office immediately. James grinned at Moneypenny as she buzzed him in with a worried expression on her face. Mallory could be scary and had even earned some of Bond’s respect, but he had nothing on /his/ M. Clearing his expression, James opened the door, stepping inside.  
“Take your time, 007,” M said as Bond sauntered toward his desk, “but in five minutes the head of the Joint Security Service is going to walk through that door, and I’ve got to explain to him how one of our agents decided to potter off to Mexico, disobey my orders, and cause an international incident.”  
“With all due respect, sir,” Bond replied with an air of nonchalance, “it could've been worse.”  
“Worse?” Mallory glared at the agent. “You blew up half a bloody block!”  
“Well, better half a block than a whole stadium full of people.”  
“You had no authority. None. As you know, we're in the middle of the biggest shakeup in the history of British intelligence. The ink is barely dry on this merger with MI5 and already they're itching for a chance to scrap the double-oh program forever. And you've just given them one.”  
“You're right, sir,” Bond replied. “You have got a tricky day ahead.”  
“This is an official question.” M gave him a stern look. “Mexico City. What were you doing there?”  
“You assigned me to a mission. What else was I supposed to be doing there? Taking some overdue holiday?”   
“Okay. Fine,” M said, frustration evident in his voice. “As of this morning, you are officially grounded. I'm standing you down from all operations indefinitely.”  
“Very good, sir.” Bond nodded to him.  
“007?”  
“Sir?”  
“I don't know what you're playing at, but whatever it is, it has to stop. Now.”  
“So sorry.” They both looked back toward the door. “Am I interrupting?”  
“Not remotely.” M walked over and shook the man’s hand. “007, I'd like you to meet Max Denbigh, head of the Joint Security Service.”  
“It's a pleasure to finally meet you, 007.” Denbigh held his hand out to the agent, who shook it firmly. “I've heard a lot about you. Most of it good.”  
“Congratulations on your new appointment,” Bond smiled politely.  
“Thank you.”  
“I suppose we should call you C now,” Bond suggested with a raised brow.  
“No, no. ‘Max,’ please.”  
“No, I think I'll call you C, C.” The agent smirked.  
“As you wish,” Denbigh replied with a hint of irritation. “Well, my door is always open, 007, for my employees. This merger's going to be a whole new chapter for us. We're going to bring British Intelligence out of the Dark Ages and into the light.”  
“That all sounds lovely,” Bond smiled with all the cordiality of a shark.  
“That'll be all, 007,” M interjected. “Report to Q immediately for medical, thank you.”  
“Very good, sir.” He nodded politely to each of them in turn before leaving M’s office.  
The minions had been chatting away about Bond’s arrival since Q had gotten to work that morning. Q had promised Eve that he would visit her soon, so he went up to see her, convinced she was the reason he was leaving his desk. He chatted with her for a while, glancing toward the door of M’s office often.  
James stoically nodded as M dismissed him finally. He sighed lowly and left the office, the outcome exactly what he had thought it would be. At least M hadn't tried to make him turn in his gun, knowing that he really had no just cause. James had been suspended until further notice, something he had expected, and would be expected to pass all of his tests before he was allowed in the field again, something else he had expected. It would be easier this time. He wasn't three months into a drinking binge. James looked up as the door closed behind him, eyes immediately finding Q’s. He froze for a moment, eyes tracking the emotions that passed over the younger man’s face. Finally, Q smiled slightly at him and he unfroze, moving forward to join him and Moneypenny.  
“Hey,” Q said quietly, unable to take his eyes off James as he looked for any signs of injury. The agent wasn’t hurt as far as he could see and he let out a shaky breath of relief. “How’d it go?” Q asked, referring to the talk with M. He pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.  
James smiled slightly at Q, shrugging one shoulder. “Exactly how I thought, suspended and I have to pass all my tests again. Or at least I have to pass my tests at all.” He lowered his voice with the last statement, grinning.  
“Well, the training will give you something to do until you’re allowed back out in the field,” Q said with a shrug before turning back to Eve. “I should head back to Q Branch. See you later?” She nodded and gave him a look as he left, waiting outside for James.  
The agent nodded politely at Moneypenny, following Q out as she returned to her desk. James raised his eyebrows at Q as he realized he was waiting for him and fell into stride next to the younger man as they made their way down towards Q Branch. “Q…” He hesitantly started. “About the smart blood… Thank you.”  
Q hummed his response as they walked, entering the elevator and pressing the button for Q Branch. “So, I’ll come by as soon as I’m done with work. Make sure you stop by Medical before you leave.”  
James blinked, nonplussed. “I… What?”  
Q shrugged his shoulders. “I’m coming by later. You said you’d explain everything when you returned. Well, now you’re back, so you need to explain.”  
Bond remained silent for a moment as the elevator descended. “Yeah, okay.” He finally sighed, turning to look at Q slightly. “I… I'll get something for dinner, if you want?” He asked distractedly.  
Q shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I probably won’t get out of here until late.”  
James nodded, looking away. “I'll see you then.” He pressed the button for the gym floor, handing Q the case holding his kit as the elevator slowed to a stop a few floors above Q Branch. “You know what to do with that, right?” He asked rhetorically with a smirk as he stepped out. He held Q’s gaze as the elevator doors began to shut and winked just before they closed. Standing there a second longer, James let his expression fall blank, then turned sharply and made his way to the changing rooms, trying not to think about the coming night.


	32. Chapter 32

James managed to stay in the gym for a couple hours, but became bored quickly and returned to his flat. He cleaned, still finishing with hours to spare before he expected Q to come. The agent ate something small for dinner, taking his time and pouring himself a small scotch afterwards. Finally, he just turned on the tv, relaxing on the couch and bringing the bottle of scotch with him as he set up the video he wanted to show Q and hoped the Quartermaster wouldn't be long. James couldn't stand the tension of waiting for him, his whole body tense and on edge as the hour grew later.  
It was nearly ten o’clock when Q finally arrived at Bond’s flat, knocking on the door. He waited a few moments before trying the knob, thankfully finding it unlocked. “Bond?” He called as he stepped inside.  
James glanced in the direction of the door as Q walked in, setting down his third (fourth?) drink. “Here,” he answered quietly, snagging the remote as he sat back on the couch slowly, watching as Q made his way over.  
Q furrowed his brows when he saw James and sat next to him on the couch. He didn’t know if it was because James had been drinking or because of the mission, but the agent looked miserable, like he had been through hell. He bit his lip softly before speaking. “Are you okay?”  
James ignored the question, instead turning on the television and snagging his glass again. The video of M filling him in on what she knew of the organization called Spectre was already burned into the agent’s memory, but he watched it again with Q. When it ended, he downed the rest of his glass, waiting for Q’s reaction and staring at the dog statue she had given him in her will.  
Q blinked when the video had ended, taking a moment to let the information sink in before he turned to James. “That’s what this is all about? God, James…” He rubbed his forehead, leaning against the couch. “You’re going to get yourself killed. Either by this Spectre group or by M.”  
Bond scoffed slightly, staring down at the empty glass in his hand. “The only one who could kill me is already dead. And she’s still trying to kill me. No, I have a mission. And I will complete it, by any means necessary.” He finally turned and looked at Q, eyes dark and wary. “You don't have to get involved in this. Thank you for deflecting M for this mission, but I'll understand if that is as far as you want to go,” he said, his voice low.  
Q kept his brows furrowed as he looked at James. “What kind of Quartermaster would I be if I didn’t help the agents in my charge?” He asked softly.  
James looked between Q’s eyes intensely, expression slowly clearing into something like relief. “Thank you.” He barely breathed, not looking away from Q as he turned off the tv. The room went dim and quiet as the screen flickered off. Snagging the bottle of scotch, James handed it to Q, leaving his glass on the side table. “You need to loosen up,” he murmured as the Quartermaster looked at the bottle dubiously.  
Q hesitated for a moment before slowly reaching out to take the bottle from him. He looked at it before raising it to James. “To your good health.” He brought the bottle up to his lips and took a good swig.  
Bond’s eyes caught on Q’s mouth as he lowered the bottle, licking the scotch from his lips. The impulse to kiss him made James lean in towards him, but he hesitated momentarily, something hovering at the edges of his drunken mind stopping him. James tried to think of a reason to stop here as he was /sure/ there was a reason he shouldn't kiss Q right now, but nothing came to mind. He moved forward to capture the Quartermaster’s lips, one hand moving to run through his thick curls as he smoothly licked at the seam of Q’s lips.  
Q gasped softly as James kissed him, but waited a moment before pushing him back. He stared at the agent, lips parted and cheeks flushed. “I…” He shook his head. “I’m not nearly drunk enough for this.” He sighed and took another long swig from the bottle of scotch, gulping down half of what was left before setting the bottle aside and leaning forward to capture Bond’s lips.  
James smirked into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Q to drag him closer. “That's all it takes to get you drunk?” He murmured, pulling back to nip at Q’s jaw. “Lightweight.” He dove back into the kiss, not letting him respond.  
“Mmf!” That was all Q could get out in protest as Bond kissed him again. He parted his lips as he continued to kiss the agent in return. God, he had missed this. Q knew he wasn’t quite ready to resume their relationship just yet, but he had missed Bond’s touch. He moved his hands to hold on to the agent’s short blond hair, tugging on it gently.  
James hummed lowly at the feeling, slipping his tongue into Q’s mouth to slide languidly along his. This was what James had needed, to make the edge, the tension of his last mission and the anxiety for his coming task release. He pulled Q closer again, sliding a hand down the front of his cardigan and attacking the buttons.  
Q hummed softly against Bond’s lips when he realized what the agent was doing. Of course, he knew where this would go from the start. They both needed this, the stress of being apart for so long finally beginning to fade. He quickly moved his hands down to Bond’s chest, unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it off his shoulders.  
James let his arms fall, shrugging the shirt off behind him somewhere before returning to divulge Q of his cardigan and shirt. As they slid off Q’s arms finally, James pushed forward, moving until Q was leaning against the opposite arm of the couch. Breaking away from Q’s lips, James mouthed down to his neck, pressing slow open mouthed kisses along the length. Moving to suck determinedly above Q’s pulse point, James flicked his tongue, following with a scrape of his teeth over the skin as he moved to Q’s collarbone.  
The Quartermaster gasped softly as James bit down on his neck, his arms moving to wrap around the agent’s neck as his fingers carded through his hair. “James…” He moaned softly as he arched up off the couch in search of more contact with him.  
James moved his body to settle over Q’s, legs bracketing his hips as the agent pulled away from Q’s neck to see his face. Letting their bodies drag along each other as he moved up to kiss Q, he rolled his hips to tease him, pressing down lightly enough to let Q feel him without giving him any relief.  
A soft whimper escaped Q’s lips as James rocked against him. He tried grinding his own hips up against James, but couldn’t move with the agent pinning him down. James slowly undulated their hips together, keeping the pressure light and teasing as they kissed. Leaning most of his weight into the couch, he braced one elbow on the arm of the couch by Q’s head, delving his fingers into Q’s dark hair and tugging gently while the other hand slid lightly along the younger man’s side, settling easily into the dip of his waist.  
Q could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he slid his hands down Bond’s sides, pausing at the waistband of his trousers. He slid one hand into the back of his trousers, gripping Bond’s arse as his other hand attempted to tug them down.  
James groaned deeply into the kiss, rolling his hips back into Q’s touch. He broke away from the kiss to pant slightly against Q’s jaw. “God, Will…” He sighed, nipping at the Quartermaster’s jaw lightly, raising his hips to give Q room to tug his trousers down.  
Q felt a heated blush rise to his cheeks when James said his name. He faltered in surprised before hastily undoing the agent’s trousers and beginning to push them down.  
James helped Q push off his pants, moving back momentarily to untangle their legs and make it easier. He shucked his pants, moving back to Q only to attack his belt, tugging it out of the loops and dropping it. James slipped a hand behind Q’s head, helping him sit up and bringing him into a kiss as he tugged Q up off the couch. He began to lead Q to the bedroom, stumbling on an item of discarded clothing but barely noticing, too caught up in undoing the fastenings of Q’s pants.  
Q stumbled and kicked off his trousers as they made their way back to Bond’s bedroom, kissing the agent as much as he could while trying not to fall over. Finally, his legs hit the edge of the bed and he fell back onto it, pulling James down with him.  
Bond caught himself carefully as they tumbled onto the bed, keeping in as much contact with Q’s body as he could. He groaned into the kiss at the way Q”s body felt against his own as they moved together. Rolling them, he pulled Q on top of him, stroking every bit of skin he could reach.  
Q smiled against Bond’s lips as he gently held the agent’s face in his hands. He nipped at his lower lip gently as he slowly rolled his hips down against Bond’s, a soft moan escaping his lips.  
Dropping his hands from Q’s back, James settled them on the Quartermaster’s hips. He let his thumbs rest on the sharp crest of Q’s pelvis and slipped his fingers under the band of his underwear, pulling him down and pressing up to meet his movements. James swallowed Q’s moan with another kiss, starting to drag Q’s underwear down over the curve of his arse.  
Q shivered at his touch with a soft moan as he moved his hands from Bond’s face to rest on his chest. He pressed back against the agent’s hands and continued to roll his hips, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles around Bond’s nipples.  
“In the drawer,” James murmured, looking down along their bodies to where they were in contact and watching Q’s movements with dark eyes. “There's lube in the drawer,” he finished, his voice wrecked as he looked up to meet Q’s gaze.  
Q kissed his lips once more before sitting up to reach into the drawer for the lube. He grabbed the bottle and squeezed some onto his fingers, pecking Bond’s lips once before sitting up again. Biting his lip softly, Q reached back and began to finger himself open.  
James watched Q’s hand slip out of sight, his eyes flickering between Q’s face and where he’s pushing the Quartermaster’s underwear farther down to free his cock. He slid his own pants down next, kicking them off when they got too low for him to reach. Leaning up, James let one hand slip around Q’s hip, tracing his fingers around to where Q was fingering himself and pushed the other into the curls at the base of his neck. He pulled him into a kiss and tugged gently, causing Q to whimper softly as he pushed a second finger into himself. James let out an answering moan, letting his fingers slip around to feel the tight ring of muscle before moving his hand around and between Q’s legs, rolling his balls gently with the palm of his hand. Q let out a quiet gasp at the agent’s touch before removing his fingers. He squeezed some more lube onto them and carefully coated Bond’s cock as he leaned down to kiss him.  
James groaned deeply at Q’s touch, his hips working up into Q’s grip until he broke their kiss. “Now, Will. Come on. Want you now,” he muttered, hands dragging down to catch at Q’s hips and pull him closer.  
Q chuckled softly against Bond’s lips as he rolled his hips down against him. The Quartermaster kissed him one more time before raising his hips and carefully lowering himself onto James with a moan.  
Bond’s grip on Q’s hips tightened and he exhaled slowly as Q sank down onto him. “Q…” James groaned, leaning up to catch Q’s lips again, his voice worshipful. “Q ,you feel so-- You're so tight, so hot, so good.” He brushed his lips back and forth along Q’s, barely touching, trying to distract himself from the feeling of Q around him while he adjusted to the stretch. Bond’s fingers dug into the pale skin of Q’s hips, probably hard enough to bruise, but it was that or pinning Q down and fucking up into his arse whether he was ready or not. Nipping at Q’s lips, James moved to mouth at his jaw, panting lightly and sucking another mark into the pale skin.  
Q gasped and moaned softly at each of Bond’s touches. He pressed his forehead to James’s, biting his lip softly as he lifted his hips. Letting out a shuddering breath, Q sunk back down onto James, setting a slow rhythm. Soft pants escaped his lips as he brushed his nose against Bond’s, their lips barely touching.  
James teased light kisses onto Q’s lips, letting his hands follow the movements of Q’s hips. Slowly he bent his legs, bringing them up so he had leverage, so the next time Q dropped down, he could thrust up. James pushed up into him, pulling Q’s hips down sharply at the same time and grunting deeply.  
Q gasped softly at Bond’s movements, but it quickly turned to a high-pitched moan as he continued to move his hips. “James…” He murmured urgently, begging for more.  
James held Q’s hips steadily, continuing to pull him down as he thrusted up into him, picking up the pace. He leaned up, drawing Q into a deep, heated kiss, delving into his mouth with a groan.  
Q moaned, moving his hips faster and shifting to get a different angle. His back arched when he felt James hit his prostate, a high-pitched moan escaping his lips.  
James nipped Q’s lips harshly, a savage grin taking over his lips. “Right there?” He said in a gravelly tone, holding Q’s hips at the new angle, driving his own hips up to hit his prostate with every thrust.  
Q gasped as James held his hips and reached down, resting his hands on James’ chest for leverage. He squeezed his eyes shut with a moan. “James… James, please… Please, I…”  
”What do you want, love, hmm?” The agent crooned, trying not to get lost in the slick heat of Q as he fucked up into his arse.  
“Touch me,” Q moaned out. “Please, touch me.”  
James grinned, leaning up to nip at Q’s lips once more before flipping them, sweeping Q’s legs up to rest over his shoulders. The agent wrapped an arm around Q’s shoulders, bending him almost in half and gripping at the back of his neck, wrapping the other around his cock. “I’ve got you. I'm going to make you feel so good Will. Going to make you scream,” he murmured, slowly starting to thrust into Q again.  
Q gasped ardently, his hands scrambling to grip the sheets as James thrusted into him, hitting his prostate each time. He whimpered and writhed as James touched him, feeling his orgasm building.  
James drove into him again and again, stroking Q’s cock in time with his thrusts. He moaned lowly and, seeing how close Q was, finally allowed himself to chase his own pleasure, his thrusts becoming rabbit-quick and aimed directly at Q’s prostate. The Quartermaster was driving him mad with lust: Q’s skin from cheeks to chest flushed pink, his tight hot arse, his slick cock dripping with his own precome. “C'mon Q, let go. You're so close…”  
Q managed to hold on for a few more thrusts before he couldn’t take anymore. He came into Bond’s hand in long, hot spurts, crying out his name.  
Bond’s pace stuttered as Q’s arse clenched around him and he couldn't hold on any longer. He buried himself inside of Q, grunting as he came. He continued thrusting slowly into him as he finished, finally drawing to a stop and letting Q’s legs fall off his shoulders gently. James sat back and let himself fall to one side of the bed, rolling onto his back next to Q. He closed his eyes and put an arm beneath his head, getting his breath back slowly before opening his eyes and turning his head to face Q.  
Q stayed laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling as he panted softly and tried to catch his breath. He finally turned his head to look at James, shifting a bit and regretting not using a condom as he felt Bond’s come dripping out of his hole.  
James stayed silent, hazily trying to decide if Q was going to stay or go before mentally shrugging. He turned so he was facing Q, tugging him into his arms until they were spooning. He snuggled into Q with a sleepy huff, not even thinking about the gun in the bedside table as he drifted off.  
Q opened his mouth to protest when James pulled him close, but let out a quiet sigh instead and closed his eyes. Yawning softly, he slowly allowed himself to drift off to sleep.


	33. Chapter 33

James awoke slowly, feeling strangely muffled and cold. He pushed the covers back slightly, flinching at the lance of pain that went through him at the bright light in the room. He ducked back under the covers, wallowing with some difficulty through the memories of the last night. He braved peeking back out into the room again, this time with some confusion. He was sure Q had been there, but he wasn't sure why, and he didn't see any sign of the Quartermaster around him. As he became more aware, James realized he was pleasantly sore in a way he only was after a good fuck. Becoming worried, he looked more carefully around the room, but there was really no sign of another partner anywhere. He pushed myself up until he was sitting on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands. It was clear, he wasn't figuring out what happened the last night until he had at least had a shower. 

Q awoke early that morning so that he would have time for a shower and change of clothes before heading to work. He felt bad about leaving, but James had just looked so peaceful in his sleep that Q didn’t want to wake him. The agent deserved to get some more sleep. Q headed into work, greeting the minions with a smile as he went back to his office.

After his shower, James sat in the kitchen with a cup of coffee. He at least felt like a living being at this point, and had remembered that he needed to head into Q Branch as M had instructed. He heaved himself up, going and getting dressed quickly before taking the short walk to Headquarters. James looked around as he entered Q Branch, accidentally meeting the gaze of several minions, then, followed their gaze as they glanced away, seeing Q’s office. He made his way over, then leaned against the doorway, waiting to catch the Quartermaster’s attention.  
Q didn’t look up when James appeared in the doorway of his office, still typing away at his keyboard. He pulled at the collar of his shirt, scratching at the bruises there with a slight frown. He reached for his cup of coffee and took a sip before smiling up at the agent. “Good morning, 007.”  
“Quartermaster,” James practically stuttered in response, frozen and staring at the hickies littering Q’s neck. So. That answered a lot of what he had been doing last night. But... Why hadn't Q been there when James woke up, or woken him when he left? And now he was being completely impersonal again, calling James by title, not even by his last name. The agent hurriedly pulled himself out of his downwardly spiraling thoughts. “M told me that I needed to come get smart blood implanted, isn't that interesting?” He forced himself to pull his gaze away from Q’s neck, the confusion and almost distress making him shift uncomfortably. He had never felt so out of his element, but then again, he had never felt so strongly about someone.  
Q furrowed his brows when he saw the confused expression on Bond’s face, but cleared his throat and replied. “Yes, he told me about that. Funnily enough, Alec stopped by earlier for his equipment, which happened to include your injection.” Q sipped his coffee and looked James over. Something was bothering him, but he couldn’t tell what.  
“Oh, how convenient,” James mumbled, glancing away. “I'll just… Leave, I guess.” He looked Q over once more, but couldn't meet his eyes. He didn't know what to do about Q anymore. Whatever had happened last night… Q obviously regretted it, and James had only the slightest idea what even happened and… He pushed off the door frame suddenly, starting to turn away. He needed to go to the gym.  
Q watched him go, his brows furrowed in confusion. Should he stay? Should he go after him? Q stood suddenly, bumping his desk and causing his mug to fall to the ground, shattering with a loud crash. He didn’t flinch at the sound, only keeping his eyes on James.  
The agent looked back at the sound of the crash, meeting Q’s gaze as he stared up at him. Q’s expression was so concerned that James couldn't look away from him. He didn't know what Q saw in his expression, maybe the same confusion and worry Q felt, but also the hurt, the distrust. James needed to go. He wrenched his gaze away from Q’s, leaving the department and heading to the gym.  
Q bit his lip as James turned away from him again, his hands shaking despite the fact that he was gripping the edge of his desk tightly. He didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there when a minion came by to clean up the shattered mug.

James slammed the locker door shut, stalking through to the gym area. Reaching the edge of the pool, he dove in with no hesitation, immediately striking out. He did laps until he couldn't feel his lungs, only then pulling himself up to the side of the pool and blinking water out of his eyes. Slowly, James pulled himself out to sit on the ledge, panting.  
It took Q a while before he was able to calm down enough to get back to work. He still had no idea what was going on with James, but there was nothing he could do about it until he went home.  
After pulling himself into the shower, James went home. He knew he needed to eat and sleep, but instead he went and grabbed his laptop. He began researching what he would need to complete M's mission. He had planned to ask for Q’s help, but... James shook his head, pushing those thoughts away. He needed to concentrate now on his mission. He was close to something, he would just need to take a trip to get more information. Carefully hiding his tracks, James purchased a flight ticket, putting away his laptop to go pack. Even after packing, sleep was a long time coming.  
It had been a long time since he had left work this early, but he just couldn’t concentrate on anything. He returned home and fed his cats before sitting on the couch with a sigh. He bit his lip softly and pulled out his phone, dialling Bond’s number. He just wanted to make sure James was alright.  
James sat up as his phone rang, giving up the pretense of sleeping immediately as he saw the caller ID. Just one letter, Q. He picked up the phone, staring at it, trying to urge it to stop ringing. Finally, the screen flashed in his hand, the voicemail had picked up the call. James relaxed, tossing the phone back onto the bedside table, but getting up and moving to look out the window. This late, there wasn't a lot going on outside the flat, but he leaned against the window, looking out at the sky. Behind him, his phone chirped to alert him of a voice mail.  
Q sighed softly when it went to voicemail. It was late. James was probably asleep. He waited from the beep in order to leave his message. “Um, hey, James. It’s me. Um… I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay. You left so suddenly this morning and… James, did I do something wrong? I just… Never mind. I guess I’ll see you at work.” He hung up with a sigh.

Morning seemed a long time coming, but James had managed to get a few hours of sleep before he woke up to get on the plane. As he left the room, he swiped his phone from the bedside table, glancing at the screen. He hesitated a second, staring at the alert for the voice message, then shoved it in his pocket. He locked the flat behind him, heading to the airport without a second thought to listening to the message.  
Q went to work the next morning, anxiously waiting to see James. When he wasn’t busy staring at the door, he was checking his phone for any messages. Q didn’t want to look at the Smart Blood program. James deserved his privacy. ‘I’m just worrying over nothing,’ Q finally convinced himself.


	34. Chapter 34

James made his way across Europe until he found Madeleine Swann, a psychologist at a clinic in the Austrian Alps. He was running out of time to save this girl, but she was being as irritating and stubborn as she was beautiful. James went down to the bar, hoping to get a drink and stay a little longer, to blend in and keep an eye on her until he could try talking to her again.  
“I'm really starting to love this place,” Bond muttered to himself.  
“He'll have the digestive enzyme shake.” James looked up and blinked in surprise when he saw Q standing next to him.  
“Certainly,” came the bartender’s reply.  
“If you've come for the car, I parked it at the bottom of the Tiber,” James said softly, still wary of Q after their last encounter.  
“Well, not to worry, 007. It was only a three million pound prototype,” Q muttered to himself.  
“Why are you here, Q?”   
“Oh, I just fancied a break, to be honest,” Q sighed, a bit confused by Bond’s slight hostility. “I've been a tad stressed at work recently. What with C's people crawling all over us and the fact that M wants my balls for Christmas decorations.” James frowned, but didn’t remark on it.  
“Get to the point.”  
Q furrowed his brows at him. “The point, 007, is that Franz Oberhauser is dead. Dead and buried. And unless you come back with me right now, my career and Moneypenny's will go the same way. Do you understand? All hell's breaking loose out there and-”  
“I saw him.” James interrupted.  
“You thought you saw him. Eve’s been through the records. He died in an avalanche with his father twenty years ago.”  
“Yes, I know that,” Bond sighed, rubbing his forehead. “But I saw him. He's not someone I'll ever forget.” James looked up at Q morosely, wishing helplessly for a moment that he could just end this and return home with Q.  
“So, you have a lead?” Q asked with a raised brow.  
“I have a name. L'Americain.”  
“Well, that narrows it down,” Q sighed with a rolled of his eyes. “Look, I'm sorry, James, but time's up. My whole career is on the line here. /Your/ career is on the line. I know that doesn’t mean very much to you right now, but you need to do this right. Come home with me. Please.”  
“Q, you know I can’t do that,” James sighed. “Just...Do one more thing for me. Then you're out. Find out what you can from this.” He reached into his pocket and fished out the ring, handing it to Q.  
“I really, really hate you right now,” Q said with a bit of fondness as he looked down at the ring in his hand.  
“Thank you, Q,” Bond nodded.  
“You know I can’t say no to you,” Q said softly, looking up at him with a slight smile.  
“Where are you staying?” James asked, glancing back up toward Dr. Swann’s office.  
Q’s eyes followed Bond’s gaze and he sighed. “The Pevsner. Room twelve. One hour.” He stood there for a moment, biting his lip softly before walking away with a sigh.  
When James turned back to reply, Q was already gone. “Here you are, sir. One digestive enzyme shake,” the bartender said as he placed the drink on the counter with a polite smile.  
“Do me a favor, will you?” Bond glanced at the drink. “Throw that down the toilet.”

 

Rescuing Madeleine didn't take nearly as long as James thought it would, and they holed up in a hotel room until it was time to go see Q. He managed not to hesitate before knocking on Q’s door, not wanting to seem off in front of Madeleine.  
Q looked through the peephole to make sure it was him before opening the door. He went back to his computer as the two entered, furrowing his brows when he saw the young woman with Bond.  
“Dr. Swann, Q,” James said finally after the door closed behind them. “Q, Dr. Swann.”  
“Hello,” Madeleine said monotonously.  
“Enchanted,” Q replied. “Bond, we need to talk. Alone.”  
“She knows,” James replied as he went over and stood behind Q to look at the results on the screen. He leaned in close behind him, watching over the Quartermaster’s shoulder.  
“But, Bond…” Q looked up at him with furrowed brows.  
“She knows. What have you got?”  
Q sighed softly and returned his attention to the computer screen, trying not to think too much about how close James was to him. “I owe you an apology, 007. You are onto something. Oberhauser is still alive. The ring proves it. And it seems they were all part of one organization. Le Chiffre, Quantum, Sciarra, your friend Mr. Silva.”  
“And do you know who links them all?”  
“Him,” Q confirmed.  
“Exactly. This organization, do you know what it's called?”  
“No.”  
“Spectre.” Both men looked up at Madeleine when she spoke. “Its name is Spectre.”  
“How does she know that?” Q asked James, looking up at him in confusion.  
“Because my father was part of it,” Madeleine answered for herself.  
“Then I think that you ought to see this,” Q replied a bit reluctantly, pulling up another screen as she came over to stand next to James. “You're looking at pictures from South Africa right now of what appears to be a huge explosion.”  
James stared at the pictures, face blank, then nodded slowly. “Yes…” He stood up straight and stepped backwards, turning towards Madeline. “Where is L’Americain?”  
Q stood up, watching James carefully with furrowed brows. Q wanted to reach out to him, to take his hand, but he didn’t know if James wanted him to. Especially in front of her. Instead, he just stood and bit his lip softly as he watched the two of them.  
James glanced at Q, hanging back, then consciously moved closer to Madeleine. At least he knew that she hated him. He didn't know anything about he and Q anymore. “We need to know,” James murmured to her. “It's the only way to finish this.”  
She looked away with a sigh, then gave in. “It’s not a person. It’s a place.”  
“Q, go back to London,” James told him, keeping eye contact with Madeleine. “M's going to need your help. And keep tracking me.”  
“I…” Q cleared his throat with a frown. “I will.”

 

James stood over Blofield, letting the Walther fall to his side. He looked up, catching M's eyes as he came forward through the fog. Bond nodded at him, stepping back and throwing his gun to the side. He looked past him, spotting Q and Moneypenny through the crowd and smoke. James met Q’s gaze steadily, giving himself one more second of deliberation. James knew he loved Q, and he knew that he would never and had never loved anyone like he loved him. But Q was so confusing and painful. Madeleine was easier and he could leave MI6 entirely with her. James finally smiled sadly, turning away and going back to Madeleine. He took her hand and, without looking back, led her away.

Q’s breath caught when his eyes met Bond’s through the smoky haze. All hope he had of James coming back to him, of being together again, shattered as soon as the agent’s eyes left his own. Q let out a shuddering breath when James turned his back to him, walking away with Madeleine. James had shown no interest in her when they were in Austria and she had even seemed to resent him. Why would he leave with her? Why would he leave Q behind?   
Q didn’t realize that he had been crying until he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Q?” Eve asked quietly.  
“I-I’m fine,” He told her, wiping his eyes as he looked around to find her, Mallory, and Tanner staring at him. “The smoke… It’s irritating my eyes,” he mumbled as he turned his back to them. Q couldn’t bear to watch James walk away with her any longer.

Q sat at his desk in Q Branch, idly sipping from his cup of earl grey. There had been a lot to do after the long night, so he went straight to his office after Blofeld had been detained. He didn’t sleep, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to even if he tried. Q raised his head in surprise when he heard the lift running. It was far too early for any of the minions to be coming in. Q felt a glimmer of hope fill him at the thought that it could be James, but he quickly pushed it aside with a shake of his head. James had made his decision perfectly clear.  
As the elevator began its trip down, James wondered what he was even doing here. What point was he going to prove? He could have literally any other car, but… He had to get some sort of idea of what Q was feeling… He didn’t want to leave, not really, and Madeleine wouldn’t be that affected. As the elevator reached ground floor, he collected himself, readying himself for the conversation to come. If Q really wanted James to stay… Well, he’d figure it out. James smirked as the elevator stopped and the doors opened, allowing him to dramatically step forward.   
“Bond?” Q said in confusion, standing up from behind his desk. He tried not to show any emotion as James approached. Q wouldn’t let him see how hurt he was. He couldn’t. He had to remain professional.  
James walked up to him slowly, carefully masking the concern he felt at the Quartermaster’s disheveled appearance. It looked like he hadn't even gone home after the encounter on the bridge. There was soot smudged up by one of Q’s temples and dark circles under his eyes that stood out against especially pale skin. James turned his mind away from that with difficulty, stopping in front of Q “Good morning, Q,” he said, as if it was just another day at work.  
Q looked up at him, his brows furrowed as a glimmer of hope shone in his eyes. Had James come back for him? Q wanted to reach out to him and moved to do so before retracting his hand. He needed to know that’s what James wanted. “I thought you'd gone.”  
Bond’s fist clenched along with his heart at Q’s involuntary movement, but he smiled down at him bitterly. “I have,” he said in a cold tone. “There's just one thing I need before I leave.” He waited to see if Q would react, take the initiative to save their relationship, but when he didn’t seem to react, James turned away bitterly. “The keys, if you would,” he murmured, not looking back at Q.  
Q gasped softly as he felt his heart shatter in his chest all over again, his fists clenching at his sides as he tried to hold back his tears. He was thankful that James had his back turned to him. He took a shaky breath before opening on of the desk drawers for one of the keys. He went over to James, holding out the keys. “Here,” he said, his voice strained as he avoided Bond’s gaze. Q knew that there were tears in his eyes and that he would only start crying more if he looked at James.  
Bond had heard Q’s quiet gasp and flinched slightly, the conflicted ache in his chest intensifying. He didn't turn as Q came up beside him, his eyes stinging. Wordlessly, he held his hand out for the keys.  
Q bit his lip softly and placed the key in Bond’s hand. “James?” He said quietly, still unable to look up at him.  
Bond’s brow furrowed but he didn't move away like he was supposed to. He should be moving on, suave and untouchable and happy with Madeleine, but he couldn't leave, couldn't move. There was nothing that made sense between he and Q anymore, but nothing James could say at this point. He had already made his statement by leaving with Madeline, so why was he still hesitating?  
“James?” Q said again when he didn’t respond. He could see the hesitation in Bond’s body but refused to let himself hope the agent would change his mind. Q let out a quiet sigh and took a step back from him. “I…” He shook his head and walked away. Q knew that he couldn’t hold back his emotions any longer, tears rolling down his face as he disappeared into his office.  
James stood there for some time longer, frozen, but refusing to let himself go after Q. Finally, he got into the car and drove it back to the hotel to get Madeleine. He pretended that he was okay, and it was easier to lie to her, easier to make her believe that he was happy. And maybe he would be, now that he could have a life outside of MI6, even… Even without Q. James pushed the thought aside, concentrating on this moment, leaving London behind for his future with Madeleine. He shifted the car into gear and hoped that it would be enough to make him content.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're sorry for the pain.

Q’s life completely fell apart from that point forward. He couldn't go back into work for a few days after James left, knowing that everything would remind him of the agent. And then there were the pitiful glances he got from the minions, Eve, even Mallory and Trevelyan when he did return. It was like everyone in MI6 knew that Q had been dumped to the side, practically left for dead after James went with Madeleine. He tried not to think about him, but that only made things worse.  
Q cried himself to sleep nearly every night he hadn't stayed at work, hugging the extra pillow, /James’s/ pillow, to his chest as he let out quiet sobs. But that only lasted for about a month. After that, he just barely slept at all. He nearly worked himself to death before Eve and Alec dragged him home to make sure that he ate and got some sleep. They were constantly hovering over Q, watching him, making sure that he was alright. They wouldn't listen when he told them that he was alright, that his current state had nothing to do with Bond.   
The only time Q had almost been happy was when his sister called, telling him that she was pregnant and engaged to Callum. He was the best man at the wedding and tried his best to look happy for them, but he couldn't take the pitied looks that they and the rest of his family gave him when they saw that he was alone. His mum had tried to talk to him about it, but he just ended up leaving the reception early to drink himself to sleep in his hotel room.   
Weeks after Q had returned to London, Eve told him that she thought there was something wrong with Shadowfax. She had grown accustomed to stopping by Q’s flat and feeding his cats when she knew he would be working all night. Q took Shadowfax to the veterinarian to find that he had an incurable case of heart disease. There was nothing to be done except to put him down.  
Q was absolutely miserable after that until his nephew was born. Little Hamish Quinn was the first person to put a smile on Q’s face since James had left. He was the perfect combination of his parents, Callum's bright red hair, Maggie's hazel eyes. Not only did they name him after Q, but they made him godfather as well. Q eagerly accepted, but frowned a bit when his sister told him that she wished she could have made James his godfather as well. He went home after that, only to return a few weeks later when his father fell ill.  
Q waited with his family, holding his mother's hand tightly until they heard the news. Inoperable brain tumour. His father died a month later. Mallory was kind enough to give Q leave for as long as he needed. He spent the next month living with his mum, helping her plan the funeral, pack up some of his dad's things, get adjusted to living alone. Q had to go back to work, of course, so she was lucky that Maggie and Callum had bought a house close by.  
Q was practically a robot after that, living on autopilot. Wake up. Shower. Work. Sleep. That was his life. Eve tried to stop by his office everyday, but he barely paid attention. Alec brought him food whenever he came by to return his equipment. Q could tell that he missed James, too. But at least he was allowed to. Q was just his pathetic ex who couldn't move on to save his life.

 

Within the first month, James regretted leaving Q. Madeline was a nice girl, but without the excitement of overcoming danger together, there was no passion between them. They traveled at first, but she wanted to settle down in Austria again, somewhere she could continue her work. James understood, but the cold was becoming all too representative of their slowly fading relationship, and it made his joints and past injuries ache in a way that made everything even more miserable.   
As the months passed, he found himself finding more excuses to leave to warmer and more exotic locations, found himself having to defend himself in fights and even instigating arguments. The moment that the news hit that MI6 was reinstating the double-oh program, James subconsciously knew it was over. They were barely speaking but to fight at that point, but the second night after the announcement, she came to him. “I thought you would stop running for me,” she murmured.  
“I have,” James halfheartedly tried to argue, but she just shook her head.  
“That's enough, James. Stop lying to me. Go home.” She touched him with purpose for the first time in weeks, stroking his hair gently. “Goodbye, James.”  
He called his lawyer the next day and signed the house over to her then left, taking nothing but the Aston Martin. James went back to London, back to the flat that he rented. He stayed there, holed up with a bottle of scotch for two days before he pulled himself together and swaggered back into headquarters with a single text to M as his only herald.

Q sat at his desk, sipping his third cup of earl grey that morning. He hadn't left his office in two days and he felt almost as terrible as I looked. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept for more than a couple hours at a time. Q noticed that the minions were watching him more than usual. It was almost as if they knew something that he didn't. He ignored it and went back to work, struggling to keep his eyes open.

James stepped into the office he had been escorted to. He wasn’t looking forward to this, but he knew he still had use to MI6 and could possibly be a threat against them if they didn’t take him back or at least neutralize him. There was a very high chance of him succeeding in gaining his position back, even higher since the program was only just reinstated and he was one of the most experienced candidates no matter what.  
“Good to see you again, M.” James greeted M politely, sitting in the chair in front of his desk. James had never been that close to Mallory, but they had at least gained a respect for each other before he had left, which is why he was surprised when he was greeted by a stoney silence.   
“I think we both know why I’m here,” James continued, but was cut off by M.  
“Really? I’m not that sure. I think you think you’re here for a job, and for some reason think I’ll give it back to you.” James sat back, perplexed at M’s vehemence.  
“I agree to take any consequence you see fit to make up for my absence,” James offered, still unsure about the unexpected turn of events.   
“I don’t think you understand, I’m not giving you your job back.” M fumed. “You have shown disdain and senseless abandonment of-... Of your title, and I will not be taking you back.” He folded his arms, looking furious.   
“Sir, I am aware that there are... “ /Q/, James realized. /Q might be why he’s not considering me/. “Complications you have misgivings about, but you know that you have to take me back. Especially right now when the world knows Britain is without its double-oh agents and I am the most experienced agent at hand.” James finished his statement, waiting with no small sense of urgency as M chewed over his words with a look on his face that said he knew James’ words were true but he didn’t want to listen to them. Finally, he pinched the bridge of his nose and inhaled sharply.  
“You will redo your training and start as a field agent for a probationary three months. If you behave that long… You will be reinstated as a double-oh. Don’t think this will be an easy time for you. Now get out. I don’t want to see your face until you learn how to take care of the important things in your life. This job is only one of them.” M sneered, turning his attention to his computer screen.  
“... Thank you, sir.” James stood, a bit stunned at the abrupt outcome.   
James was preoccupied as he left the office, not noticing Moneypenny until her hand cracked across his face. He recoiled and quickly moved away defensively. “Why did you come back,” she hissed at him. “Do you even know what you’ve done? If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from him.” She whirled away to her desk, angrily moving to shuffle papers and determinedly ignore him. James slowly moved away to the elevator, pressing the button for the gym dazedly.

Q didn't realize that he had fallen asleep until R was at his side, gently shaking him awake. He groaned softly as he leaned back in his seat, rubbing his eyes. He gave her his approval for whatever project she was working on before getting up to refill his cup.

James quickly changed, distracted as he walked out of the locker room. He started to make his way over to a treadmill when he heard quiet footsteps that quickly grew louder, like someone was running at him. He quickly twisted his body around, turning to see his attacker and to throw himself out of their path, but all he saw was a flash of dirty blonde hair before he was thrown against the wall. James grunted as his head slammed against the wall, but brought his arms up to deflect a punch, finally seeing his attackers face. “Alec?” James lowered his hands for a crucial second and was met with a punch. He finally started fighting back, shoving off the wall and striking out. “Alec, knock it off!”  
Alec’s face twisted in anger. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?!” He charged at James again with a snarl, but he turned him, throwing him against the wall.  
“Don't make me fight you Alec!” James backed away slowly, trying not to enrage him, but he ran at him again. He tackled James to the ground, managing to get a few more punches in before James threw him, spitting blood as it poured from his newly bloodied nose. He was about to follow, to fight, but was grabbed, someone restraining him. James relaxed, surrendering to the hands pulling him to the other side of the room. He leaned against the wall, Alec's words echoing through his mind. What /had/ he done?

Q glanced up to see that a group of minions were all leaned over the same monitor. He didn't think anything of it until more and more were grouped around a couple of screens. He furrowed his brows and hacked into one of the screens so that he could see what they were watching. He gasped when he saw the fight. He couldn't tell who the other was, but one was definitely Alec. He got up quickly and ran out of Q Branch, making his way to the gym.  
“Alec!” Q shouted at the double-oh as he pulled him away from his victim. “Are you bloody mad?!” He looked him over to calculate the extent of his injuries, brushing his fingers gently over his slowly swelling cheekbone. Alec stood, his gaze flicking between Q and something behind him, but before Q could look, Alec winced and held onto his ribs. Q hissed sympathetically, focusing on Alec before glancing back over his shoulder to check on the man Alec had beaten.   
Meeting those blue eyes practically knocked the breath out of Q. He stumbled back a few steps. Alec held his arm gently, but Q couldn't take his eyes off James. He shook his head, muttering softly as tears stung in his eyes. “No.... No, I... No…”  
James was absolutely frozen as he saw Q. Even as his mind went entirely blank, his eyes didn't stop moving, picking up how thin and pale Q looked, how Q looked close to tears. James pushed off the wall, wanting to go to him, to comfort him. His eyes widened as Q stumbled back, away from him, and he took a few more steps toward him, trying to keep him in view. Somebody moved into Bond’s line of sight and he stopped again, meeting Alec's glare. He stared at him, frustration and worry furrowing his brow and drawing his lips into a harsh frown.  
When James began to step towards him, Q instinctively reached out and took Alec's hand. The double-oh didn't even flinch when he did, acting like that was a normal thing between them. Q gave his hand a light squeeze, avoiding Bond’s gaze as he turned his back to him and walked away. He didn't even bother going back to Q Branch for his things before leaving the building. It was raining and Q didn't have his umbrella, but he didn't care. He just walked home. After all these months wishing that James would come back, he began to wish that he never had. As soon as he returned home, Q kicked off his shoes and curled up in bed. He wouldn't let himself cry, though. He had cried over James enough. He managed to smile a bit when Archimedes came and curled up on his chest. Q stroked his fur gently until he finally drifted off.  
James stayed in the gym after everyone else had left, Alec leaving with a hard glare at him, but no words. Bond moved to the treadmill as he had meant to originally. He ran, thoughts winding as his body moved automatically. He needed to talk to Q somehow, but... He couldn't see him, not with how he still felt, not with how Q would probably react on top of it. Neither of them were ready for that. James finally stopped the treadmill, coming to a panting halt. He stepped off the treadmill and, making his way back to the locker room, grabbed his phone, finding the number that still was in his contacts. He hoped that Q was still awake and that he would answer, but as the dial tone rang on, James ended the call. He set the phone down gently, his hands clenching. He needed to talk to Q. needed /Q/. James paced back into the gym, going straight to the pool. He dove in and began swimming laps. Sleep was not going to come easy that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let us know what you think! Thoughts so far? Suggestions? It's kind of difficult transposing it from a RP to a fic, so any feedback you can give us would be greatly appreciated!


	36. Chapter 36

The next morning, James awoke early, sitting up and glaring hatefully at the clock. Three hours of sleep was going to have to get him through the day. He got dressed and ready, heading straight to headquarters, then down to Q branch. Hopefully, there wouldn't be so many minions around this early and it would be easier to talk to Q.  
The Quartermaster sat at his desk that morning, sipping from his cup of earl grey and typing away at his computer as he nervously awaited Bond’s arrival. He knew the agent well enough by now that he knew he would try to get him alone at one point as long as Eve and Alec weren't constantly hovering over him. A part of Q wanted to see James, but the other dreaded it.  
James paused outside the doors, preparing to see Q. It had taken ages to clarify his feelings about the whole situation but now James held onto them, hoping that it would help during their talk. He took a deep breath, finally stepping forward. He began to make his way through the branch to Q’s office, but was forced to stop as a group of minions stopped in front of him. The agent blinked in surprise, as the minions usually were deferential and almost subversive in their treatment of him. He slid around the group with a quick murmured excuse, but was almost stepped on by another minion holding a large box. James was forced to move back around the group in order to get out of their way as they sent him a narrow-eyed glare. He hesitated as they moved past him, jostling his shoulder almost roughly. Taking a second to scan a room he had always felt at ease in, James noticed the looks of the minions and the slowly increasing numbers gathering near Q’s door. He straightened his cufflinks, then smoothed down his suit. Less than a minute later, he was brushing off the last minion between him and the door and slipping into Q’s office. James froze just inside the doorway, knocking slightly against the jamb like he had planned.  
Q had noticed a group of minions outside his door, but didn't pay much attention to them. They had begun hovering a lot more but they still managed to stay out of Q’s hair. He looked up when he heard the knock, expecting it to be one of them, but gasped softly when he saw James standing there instead. Q stared at him for a moment before clearing his throat. “007…”  
James hesitated as Q’s eyes landed on him, but moved forward until he reached the edge of Q’s desk. He let one hand trail across the top of the desk as he moved around to the side, stopping there. “Q… Will, I was hoping we could talk?”  
Q stared at him a moment longer before shaking his head. “No, Bond,” he spoke steadily. “The only thing we have to talk about is the fact that I am your Quartermaster and you shall address me as such. Is that clear?”  
James didn't move except to lift his hand from the desk slightly. “Will, please. Can't we talk? It doesn't have to be here, but I… I think we should talk about… Us, and what happened while I was gone.” He pressed the tips of his fingers against the desk.  
“No!” Q’s voice broke and he took a deep breath before clearing his throat. “No, James. You said what you had to say back on that bridge.”  
James flinched back slightly as Q’s voice broke. “Q, I…” He closed his mouth as he took in Q”s posture and expression, then retreated completely. James folded his hands neatly behind his back and stepped back from the desk and Q. “Yes, Quartermaster,” he murmured, frustrated.  
Q cleared his throat and managed to keep his gaze steady. “Now, if you don't mind, agent, I have work I need to do.”  
“As you wish, Quartermaster.” James about faced, pausing as he left Q’s office and encountered a crowd of minions. “Out of my way!” He snarled, absolutely done with their games.   
They scattered as James forced his way through the middle of the group, like a shark through minnows. He stalked out of the department and into the elevator, freezing in the middle of the lift. He held every muscle tense, keeping the tremors trying to run through his body at bay. The doors closed quietly behind him and he shuddered once, then lashed out. The entire lift shook as his fist connected with the mirror on the back wall. It shattered in a cobweb around the blow, splitting Bond’s knuckles and sprinkling the ground with tiny shards of glass. He pulled back, letting his arm fall back to his side. He pursed his lips and exhaled sharply.   
Turning, James pressed a floor button. The lift stopped on a mostly quiet floor and he left it there, taking the stairs down and out of the building. He returned to the flat he rented, his hands numbed from the light rain he was walking in.

Q spent the rest of the day working diligently. Eve stopped by and brought lunch, but he didn't tell her about his conversation with James earlier that morning. Alec came by at the end of the day to walk him home like he had started doing after James left. They walked into the lift together and Q furrowed his brows when he saw the broken glass, the blood on the floor. Alec didn't seem phased by it and Q glanced at the agent’s hands to make sure that he wasn't the one responsible. His composure made Q think it was one of the other double-oh's.  
They reached the ground floor and walked out to the street. They didn't talk much as they walked and Q was thankful for that. For some reason, he couldn't seem to keep a secret from Alec. Must have been a double-oh thing. Q thanked him when they arrived and went up to his flat, unlocking the door and heading inside, locking it back up behind him. He filled Archimedes' dishes before going to take a shower, still thinking about the broken mirror in the lift. After his shower, Q grabbed his laptop, pulled up the security feed from the lift and went back until he found who was responsible. He wasn't really surprised when he found that it was James. Q closed up his laptop and set it aside before curling up in his bed, smiling a bit when his cat curled up next to him.

A few vodka martinis and the beginning of a bottle of scotch later, James was stumbling out of his apartment and into a cab. The cab dropped him off outside of Q’s building and he stood outside for a second, collecting himself as much as he could. He went up to Q’s floor and stopped outside the door, knocking politely three times. James straightened the suit he still wore and took a swig from the bottle in his hand as he waited. He staggered backward slightly but righted himself neatly and knocked twice more, hiding the bottle as he folded his arms behind him.  
Q groaned when he heard the knocking and hoped whoever it was would just go away. But the knocking continued, so he got out of bed and readjusted his glasses on his face before answering the door. “James? What... What're you doing here?” He took in James’ bloodshot eyes and wavering posture with a put-upon sigh.  
James stepped forward almost smoothly. “Q, please, you have to listen to me. I just- I just want to talk.” He shut his mouth, pushing all the words wanting to bubble up out of him back inside. He had this under control, he needed to tell Q how he felt, why he had left, and why he had come back. He just needed to let Q know, so that he could make an informed decision, would /know/. “/Please/, Will.”  
Q sighed again and closed the door. “James, you're drunk. You need to go home.” He watched Bond closely, noticing the bottle that was just barely visible as James turned, before reaching for his phone and sending a quick text to Alec. “James. James, give me the bottle.”  
James frowned at Q as his fingers flicked over the screen of his phone. “Who are you texting?” James took a small drink from said bottle, then placed it on the table. “Calm down, I'm not /that/ drunk, see? Perfectly in control, practically sober. I just-” He clenched his fist and felt his scabs crack open as a wave of melancholy wove through him. He took a step toward Q, reaching out slightly and not noticing that he had started bleeding again. “I know that you didn't love me as much as I loved you, but I thought it'd be easier. I thought I needed to get away, that it would get better, but it didn't. I-” He stumbled back a bit, turning away from Q slightly to try and hide his face.  
Q froze when he heard his words, his phone slipping from his hand and clattering on the floor. He stared at James for a moment as tears filled his eyes. It wasn't like that. It wasn't. But Q couldn't get the words out. He shook his head and tried to brush off the comment. “Alec is coming to take you home,” he said as his voice wavered, watching his cat go up to James as if he missed him. The traitor.  
James stared down at Q’s cat, leaning down slightly to pet him. “I don't have a home, not anymore,” he said morosely and knelt, slumping against the couch a bit and grabbing at the bottle. “I thought I could have one, but no matter how much I wanted it, you were always too far away. I just wanted you to love me the same.” His voice flagged until he turned his head to look at Q again. “So, I tried again! I found someone who would love me! But I couldn't. I still couldn't let myself be happy because it wasn't you! I was still, /am still/ in love with you! And so here I am again, setting myself up to fail. I should've known. After Vesper. I should've cut my heart out so I could be the weapon I needed to be, need to be. It's okay,” he whispered finally, looking away. “I wouldn't want me either. All I do is destroy everything I touch.”  
Q shook his head at James as a tear rolled down his face. He quickly wiped it away. “Stop it. Just stop! How fucking dare you! You come into my flat, drunk off your arse, and start spewing things like it was all my fault. It's not like my life's been perfect since you left. So don't you fucking dare put all the blame on me. You don't know anything.”  
James stared up at Q, his words triggering memories slowly. 'Do you have any idea what you've done?' Alec's words echoed through his mind. “Will. What? What happened? I never... I'd never want anything bad to happen to you…”  
Q scoffed at Bond’s words with a shake of his head. “Oh, that's real funny coming from you.” He cut himself off when he heard a knock at the door and practically let out a sigh of relief. He opened the door and let Alec inside. “Thank god you're here. I... I can't…”  
“Sorry it took me so long to get here. He didn’t try to do anything, did he?” Q shook his head, moving past Alec and turning away so he couldn’t see James.   
“No, no, he’s just been talking. I just…” Alec rested a hand on his shoulder for a second before turning to deal with James.  
James frowned deeply as Q blew him off. He had said that Alec was coming to get him but he wasn't ready to leave. They still hadn't really /talked/. “Wi-” He cut himself off, not wanting to say Q’s real name in front of Alec. “Q, I'm sorry. I just wanted to talk…” Alec started walking towards him and he held his hands up, standing gracefully and straightening his clothes. James looked Alec dead in the eyes and stepped forward, then past him. It was useless for James to try and resist him in this state; the most he could do is pretend he wasn't drunk and harassing Q. He paused and turned to face Q as he passed by. “I hope we can continue this talk at some point. I do apologize for being unruly. Goodnight, Q.” He swiftly turned away, a melancholy feeling building in him with every step he took away from Q. He blinked severely as his eyes threatened to tear up and he cursed getting drunk for a moment.   
James stopped outside in the hall, waiting for Alec, who was still inside. He could just barely hear him talking to Q, but he wasn’t close enough to hear what was being said.  
Inside, Alec grabbed the bottle of scotch James had left, finding a bottle of cleaner and a rag and wiping up the blood that had dripped on the floor.   
“Are you sure you’re okay?” The double-oh carefully put everything he could find to rights, turning finally to see Q directly. “It’s okay if you’re not. I can stay the night or call Eve if you want.”  
Q shook his head, moving to rest his head against Alec’s shoulder for a second. “No, no I’m… I’ll be okay. Maybe… If I need to, I’ll call in sick for the morning or something, hmm? I’ll be fine, go home.” He patted Alec on the back slightly. “Thank you for coming.” He murmured as he led him towards the door.  
“Okay… Don’t be afraid to call me if you need anything else. See you tomorrow, hopefully.” Alec hugged Q to his side for a moment with one arm around his shoulders before leaving.  
Alec stepped out, closing the door behind him, and looked James up and down. Bond stared steadily back at him until he sighed. “Let’s get you back home, James.”  
Bond scowled slightly, even as he followed Alec from the building. He didn't have a home, not anymore and maybe not ever.

Q went back to bed after James and Alec had left and curled up on his side, focusing on his breathing. He couldn't cry. He wasn't going to cry. He had managed to hold on until Archimedes hopped up onto the bed and curled up against him. Tears escaped from Q’s eyes and rolled down his cheeks as sobs wracked through his body. He wanted it to stop. He begged for it to stop, but the tears kept coming. Mostly, Q was ashamed of himself. It had been just over a year and he still wasn't over James, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he was.


	37. Chapter 37

The next weeks were busy, but James still took the time to try and talk to Q. Most of his attempts were foiled by minions and time restraints, as he was being vigorously tested to see if he could become an agent again. Even when he passed the testing, though M was trying his hardest to test James out it seemed, he was still passing with flying colors. He would still be prohibited from becoming a double-oh for nine months, part of his punishment for leaving. The most James saw was glances of Q until the last day of his training. He was making his way through the halls when he almost ran into Q. A quick glance told him that they were alone in the halls and he stepped slightly closer to him. “Q, can we talk?”  
Q was on his way back to Q Branch from a meeting with M about the budget when he heard Bond’s voice. He didn't know how he missed him in the empty hallway, but he kept walking despite the fact that he knew James would only follow. “Bond, I am very busy right now,” Q told him as he kept his eyes looking straight ahead. “Shouldn't you be training right now? The sooner you finish that, the sooner you'll be back in the field.”  
James stepped neatly in front of Q, forcing him to stop if he didn't want to hit the agent. “You think I care about that? I just want to clear things up between us. I could be anywhere in the world, doing whatever I wish to, but I'm /here/. And it's not so I can go back to being an agent; I don't have many years left in me anyways. I'm here because I... I still care…” James trailed off helplessly, unable to tell Q. James loved him. But it hurt to try and say when Q was so obviously repellent to the idea.  
Q stopped and kept his eyes on the floor, unable to meet Bond’s eyes. He felt the sting of tears in his own eyes and sniffled softly as he shook his head. “I... I can't…” Q’s voice was barely audible. He cleared his throat before brushing past James. “You need to go to training.”  
James stood frozen as Q left, staring straight ahead with his lips pursed. His mind was reeling with everything that Q had shown him with his reaction. Bond’s watch buzzed lightly and he broke out of his thoughts. He moved smoothly through the halls, meeting his proctor and M at the door of the training room. James took a moment to clear his mind before he entered, knowing he couldn't pass the test with Q tangling up his thoughts. A breath later, he nodded his readiness and stepped in.  
Q returned to his office and closed the door behind him before sitting in his chair, gasping in a sob. He put his head in his hands and took deep breaths as he tried to calm down. He finally broke down and cried. Q didn't understand why it was so hard. He could hardly look at James without tearing up. After a while, he managed to calm down and wiped his eyes. He couldn't let this get to him anymore.

 

After passing all the tests, M put James to work. The missions he had to go on while he was still on suspension were, for the most part, terribly boring, but he put up with it. He continuously gave his best effort to even the most menial tasks M sent him on and finally, /finally/ his missions started to become more high priority. While James had been busy with the missions, he still found time to try and talk to Q, to no avail. Instead of forcing himself on Q and impeding on his privacy as he had the last two unsuccessful attempts to talk to him, James tried a new approach. Sneaking into Q branch in the early morning before anyone got there, he took to leaving small bouquets of flowers on Q’s desk. He had carefully read up on the meanings and hoped that the flowers wouldn't be immediately binned with no further thought. He started with purple hyacinths, a symbol of apology, and hoped that Q would start to understand that he was serious.  
The first morning it happened, Q was surprised to find the flowers on his desk. He asked Eve and Alec about it, but neither of them knew anything, so he took them home with him. The second time, Q grew more suspicious. His first thought was that he had a secret admirer, but why would they send hyacinths instead of roses? Finally, he looked up the meaning of the purple flowers and frowned. They could only have come from James. He started throwing them out after that. It was bad enough that he had to see Bond on a regular basis. He couldn't deal with the flowers as well. Luckily, or not, Q knew that he would be working with James on the next mission and planned to tell him off when he came for his equipment. He just hoped he wouldn't break down in the middle of it.  
James finally saw the flowers in the bin. The first few times, he hadn't noticed, but there they were. He decided he would try one more time, but would stop if Q threw it away next time as well. The next morning, the morning before the first mission he would have with Q leading since before he left, James placed a single red tulip surrounded by a few sprigs of yarrow on the Quartermaster’s desk. With a sigh, he made his way out of the department carefully and left to start getting ready for the mission.  
Q was surprised to find the single tulip on my desk and immediately started up his computer so that he could look up the meaning of it. Perfect, everlasting love. He nearly scoffed at the notion. Nothing about their relationship was perfect. But he couldn't deny the fact that James was trying. For a second, Q contemplated what it would be like if they were together again, but he shook the thought from his mind. He couldn't put himself through that again. He tossed the flower into the bin before going to get Bond’s kit ready for the mission.  
James picked up the kit from a minion and left, putting in his earbud to check in once he arrived at the designated location. “Agent Bond, checking in.” It had been difficult to get used to not being 007, but he could deal with it until his suspension was up.  
It took Q a moment to respond. Finally, he cleared his throat. Better to get on with it. “Hello, Bond. What is your status?”  
“I've just arrived. I should reach my target’s gala in ten minutes. I'll update you when I reach a secure location.” This would be an easy mission for James, though Q was needed to direct the installation of the flash drive and distribute the information once it was collected. Q’s department had invented the flash drive so it would send information as it got it, though there was a possibility of a virus or Trojan horse being sent to MI6's servers in the process. James just had to escape the gala, get to his target’s rooms to run the download, and return to the gala in an appropriate amount of time. Simple.  
“Alright. Be careful.” Q clicked off the line as soon as he realized what he had said. It came out so naturally and he cursed himself silently for it. He had to keep this professional. It was over between them and Q needed to make sure they both understood that.  
James blinked at the careless addition with a small frown. Q had been driving him off for weeks, and now this? Maybe... Maybe the flowers had been working? Maybe Q was starting to forgive him? James tried to ignore the small bloom of hope in his chest. He needed to focus on his mission; the information he was gathering was important and would be a step towards stopping a human trafficking ring. But maybe after the mission… Maybe then they could talk. James hid a small smile as he checked into the gala, readying himself to mingle among the masses there until he could make his quick escape.  
Q brought up the Smart Blood program to check on Bond’s location, finally putting his headset back on. He cleared his throat softly to let James know that he was back online.  
James didn't acknowledge Q’s return except to politely excuse himself from the group he was speaking with. He deposited his champagne glass with a server and made his way out on one side of the hall under the guise of searching for the bathrooms. As soon as he was out of sight, James hurried to the second floor. “I'm out of the hall, nearing his office. I haven't come across any countermeasures against the guests coming upstairs, but there might still be something in his office.” As he spoke, he approached the door, pulling out his lock pick. A few seconds later, he was closing the door behind him. “I'm in.”  
“Excellent,” Q replied, surprised that his voice was clear and unwavering. “Find his computer and insert the drive into the port. Once you've done that, I'll be able remotely access it to get through the password for you.”  
James pulled out a small torch, glancing around the room. He carefully navigated the room, which was inexplicably full of plants in the middle of what should've been the walking path. Reaching the desk, he quickly plugged the flash drive in, watching the screen light up as Q began to take control of the computer. As he waited, Bond’s lower legs started prickling strangely. He ignored it at first, but as the seconds went by, it got worse. He rubbed one leg against the desk to try and subdue the pain but gasped as pain lanced up his leg. James carefully grasped the fabric of his pants and pulled it up to see his skin. Hives were breaking out in patches all along the sides of his calves, and as he used his torch to look closer. He realized there were fibers along his pants leg. He must have brushed up against something... The plants! Shining the torch at them, James took a picture with his phone. “Q, I'm sending a picture to you. Can you identify this plant?” He asked, voice tight with still growing pain. “Please tell me it's not deadly.”  
Q furrowed his brows at Bond’s words, letting the USB drive do its thing while he cross-referenced the photo he had sent with the samples in the world database. It didn't take long to get a match. “Shit... Shit. Fucking hell, this is not good.”  
“Hmm. How long do I have? Will I make it through the night?” James took a deep breath and watched the progress bar. The pain was terrible, but he could probably get through the night with a little wincing if he took a few pain killers. “I should have figured a rainforest enthusiast would have deadly plants in his living space.” His heart began to race as the stinging seemed to travel. Was it spreading? If the man had this plant in his living space though, he would have to have countermeasures in case he brushed up against them. James quickly started opening the drawers of the desk, hoping to find a pill or spray.  
“Fuck,” Q swore once more, focusing on staying calm. If he could do that, he could keep James calm as well. “James, listen to me. You're not going to die, but you're not going to be able to get out of there on your own. I'm going to send in an extraction team to get you out. Now, the drive is at eighty-five percent. I need you to hang on just a little longer, alright?”  
“Q, if I'm not going to die, let me finish this mission. I just have to play nice for another hour, right? Less than even. I can walk, I can do this. I'll just take a painkiller.” James fished a small baggie of pills out of one of the drawers. “I have possibly found an antidote. I'll keep it with me until I leave, okay?”  
“No, James,” Q said sternly. “You don't understand. The pain will be debilitating. You won't be able to move. Just get out of the office as soon as the drive is done downloading the information and find a place to lay low while you wait for the extraction.”  
James pocketed the pills, wincing as the pain /did/ get worse. “Fine. Ten percent to go. There will be suspicions when I don't return to the party, this blows my cover.” He glanced at his watch. “I could still return now without it being an issue…” He mused.  
“It’s not worth it. The team will be there soon enough that it won't even matter.” Q watched the download progress, biting his lip harshly. “How're you feeling?”  
James chuckled darkly. “Bloody brilliant.” The computer made a beeping sound as it reached the end of the download, then turned off. “Okay, I'm out of here,” he murmured, pocketing the flash drive. He snuck as carefully as he could on shaky legs, trying not to brush up against more plants and leaned against the door for a second when he reached it, his teeth bared in a grimace of pain. James sucked in a quick breath and carefully opened the door, peering out. There were two men standing there. James froze, trying not to make any sudden moves and alert them, but then one glanced around in boredom and looked right at him. The man froze in surprise and, in that moment, James slammed the door shut and locked it. He backed up as far as he could go without touching anything and waited.They tried the knob a few times but then started trying to kick it down. They were obviously inexperienced but that didn't help how absolutely useless James was in this moment. He cursed to himself as his eyes teared up with the pain, blurring his vision. “Q, how quickly is that team getting here?”  
Q checked on the status of the team and frowned. “Another twenty minutes. Do you think you can hold on that long?” He asked, a hint of worry evident in his voice. “Damn it, I wish there was more I could do.”  
“Ah, but you already helped. You told me I was going to live through this. And I'm /coming back to you/,” James said vehemently, taking out his earbud and putting it in the secret pocket with the USB so it would be safe.   
Steadying himself just in time, James moved out of the way as the first man came barreling into the room. He pushed him as he glanced off him, causing so sharp a pain that Bond’s vision wavered as he corrected himself. His push had tripped the man though, and he fell into the middle of the room, hitting several plants on the way down. James ignored him as the other man made his way more cautiously into the room. He hovered in the doorway, taking in the situation as his partner began to feel the effects of the plants, starting to let out confused whimpers of pain. His cries quickly escalated in a way that had his partner stutter, stepping backwards as he looked on in fear.   
James stepped forward to confront him, wanting to get out of the room before anyone else was alerted to his presence, but it was a mistake. The agent’s right leg buckled, knee slamming into the ground in a way that jarred his whole body. He clenched his teeth as he forced himself to stay alert and managed to open his eyes in time to see a foot flying at him. James took the kick on his left side, body barely twisting out of the way so it wasn't as bad of a hit. He landed heavily on his right shoulder, gasping at the pain that seemed to radiate from every part of his body. Hands grasped at James, pulling him onto his back. He opened his eyes and lifted his arms weakly, trying to slap the person away, but squinted his eyes shut as a bright light suddenly lit up the room. The hands grasping him were torn away, new sets lifting him and taking him away. The extraction team had gotten there in time. James let the lights and noise and pain fade away. He was coming back to Q.

Q let out a relieved sigh when he heard that the extraction team had gotten Bond out of there safely. He thought about staying until the agent returned in order to congratulate him on a job well done, but decided against it. James would still be in medical by the time Q arrived the next morning and they both really needed some sleep. Q shutdown his computer and packed up his things before heading back home.   
Archimedes greeted him at the door when he arrived and he picked him up, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before going back to the bedroom. Q set him down on the bed and changed into his pajamas before crawling under the covers and falling asleep easily.

 

When he woke in medical early the next morning, James learned what the plants had been. Dendrocnide Moroides. An Australian Stinging Nettle. They had analyzed the pills that he had taken from the man’s desk while they removed the fibers from his legs and determined that they would neutralize the plants long-lasting toxins. James would have pain for maybe a week or two, but it would fade quickly. He dutifully took the pills and stayed reluctantly in bed. He had tried to stand, as the hives had disappeared and the pain was much lower than he had remembered; but even as he sat up, pain lanced through his left side and he sat back with a huff. A nurse informed James that he also had bruised ribs and a very swollen right knee and that he should stay off his feet for a while. He had gotten his things back, or what he had left, at least, as they had taken his suit in case it had any more fibers from the nettles on it, and was expecting a visit from a Q Branch minion at some point to gather the USB and his ear piece. In the meantime, James closed his eyes and tried to relax back into a restful state.

Q arrived at work the next morning and was stopped by a minion, asking if she should retrieve Bond’s equipment. He brushed her off and and set his things down in his office before booting up the computer and checking the Smart Blood to make sure that the agent was conscious. Q took a deep breath and made his way up to to medical to see him. A nurse directed him to his room and Q knocked before poking his head inside. “James?”  
Bond’s eyes popped open as he heard Q’s voice and he pushed up with a wince onto his left elbow so he could face him. “Q? Uh, come in.” James carefully leaned back against his pillows so he was sitting up and tried to relax. Why was Q there, though? The hope that James had felt during the mission was bubbling up again, but he tried not to get too excited. “Did you get all of the information you needed from the mission?”  
“Almost,” Q nodded, stepping over to his bedside. James looked okay for the most part. “How are you feeling? They got all the nettles out?”  
James grinned a bit. “Yeah, all the fibers removed, along with any hair from the knee down,” chuckled slightly. “But the pain is still there. The pills I found were an antidote of a sort. They can't stop the immediate pain, but they dissolved the longer lasting toxin, so I won't be in pain for years.” He watched Q carefully out of the corner of his eyes, keeping his face turned slightly down and away as if he were watching his fingers pluck at the edge of the blankets. The small talk was driving him mad as he waited for the real reason Q was there and hadn't just sent a minion in his stead.  
“Well, that's good,” Q nodded, running his fingers through his hair with a sigh. “So, um… About the flowers... Though I, um, appreciate the gesture, it... It needs to stop. I've stressed to you the nature of our current relationship and I need you to respect that.”  
James slowly turned to face Q. He tried to keep his expression blank, but all the hope he had tried to keep down through the mission had bubbled up again when Q came, only to be let down again. “Is that why you're here? To tell me that, even though you've been acting like you're starting to care again, you were just kidding?” James bit out, disappointment making his voice sharp. He cursed internally, having not wanted to act rashly and possibly make Q angry.  
“What... What are you talking about?” Q asked you him furrowed brows, genuinely confused “James, it's my job to care. It's my job to help you and make sure you come home safely.”  
“Ah, right, then you've been doing a /great/ job,” he said, gesturing to himself. “You've been sending me mixed messages this whole mission. If you were going to blow me off, why not just do it from the start?”  
“Okay. First of all, there's no way I could have possibly known that there were stinging nettles in that office? There weren't any cameras!” Q shrugged in frustration. “Secondly, you did the exact same thing to me before you left with Madeleine, so don't you dare give me that bullshit.”  
James clenched his hands as anger rose in him again. That mistake was the reason that any of this was happening. “I thought we still had a chance! And you continued to blow me off then, just like you are now!”  
“I never blew you off then!” Q didn’t want to yell, but he didn’t seem to have a choice when it came to James Bond. “I went to help you, to be with you and make sure you came back so we /would/have a second chance! Then you went off with her without so much as a word to why!”  
“Maybe I just wanted someone who actually loved me!” Bond’s mouth shut with an audible click as he realized what he had said. He opened my mouth to try and take it back, but stopped himself again, looking away from Q. He had meant it, though he hadn't wanted it to come out like that.  
Q just stared at him for a moment. “James, how can you… After everything... No.” He shook his head at James and turned to leave. “No, I can’t do this.”  
“Q.” James reached over to the bedside table, fishing out the USB and earbud. He stiffly held them out for Q to take, ignoring how his ribs ached at the movement.  
Q looked back at James and stared down at the items in his hand. With a quiet sigh, he took them, taking note of their pristine condition, and left.  
Laying back in bed, James felt something dark and angry curling inside his chest. He felt like he needed to fight someone, tear something apart. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and tried to get comfortable in the small bed. Later that day, M would come in to talk to him about the mission and when he would be put out again. Until then, James would let the pain and boredom and exhaustion carry him into an unwanted nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that plant is a real thing and we tried to be as accurate as possible when writing it. Also, don't go near them. they'll really fuck you up.


	38. Chapter 38

It wasn't until the day of that Q found out he would be accompanying Bond on a mission. The security system couldn't be hacked remotely and no one else in the department was qualified for such a high risk mission, so M asked him to go. Q reluctantly agreed, knowing how important the assignment was to national security. For the sake of Queen and country, Q would be able to put up with James for a day or two. But first, He had to get through the flight to Turkey. He sat at the gate for their flight, tapping his foot nervously as he gripped the strap of his carry-on bag and waited for James to arrive. Q didn't know if M had told the agent that he would be accompanying him and slightly hoped that he hadn't. James would be more likely to show up if he didn't know he was meeting Q.  
James made his way through the airport towards the gate, only paying the slightest bit of attention to the people around him as he looked for whoever Q-branch was sending out with him for this mission. He skimmed through the people waiting at the gate, admittedly looking for R as she was the most likely person Q would trust to send, not to mention they generally worked well together. James had to double take, however, when he saw Q sitting nervously, cradling his carry-on and fidgeting. He allowed himself one second of uneasiness before he moved towards him confidently. “Fancy seeing you here,” he murmured quietly as he took the seat next to Q, setting his bag by his feet.  
Q looked up at him and took a deep breath. “I'd rather be anywhere else,” he sighed softly. “I can't believe I let M talk me into this. I'm going to die. I should've just let R come.”  
James blinked once at the answer, responding without hesitation even though he was absolutely blindsided by how casually Q was talking to him. “I'd bet against you about any possible plane related troubles, but it would truly be rude to take your money when we arrive without issue. And where would the esteemed R be today? I would have thought you would delegate this task to her in your stead,” he spoke in a bored tone, checking his watch.  
“She's running Q Branch,” Q sighed softly, continuing to tap his foot nervously. “She doesn't know the system, so I'll be the one hacking into it instead… James, do me a favor and knock me out as soon as the plane starts moving. I know you must be dying to punch me right now.”  
James smiled charmingly, though his eyes remained icy. “Don't know what you're talking about. I'd never want to purposely hurt you.”  
“Oh, shut it.” Q groaned softly as they were called to board the plane. He shakily got to his feet and took a deep breath. “Right. Let's get this over with.”  
James stood with Q and kept pace as they gave the man their tickets and began to board. As they moved forward, he could see how anxious Q was. With a slightly frustrated sigh, James put away both of their carry-ons and took the window seat. He debated for a moment as he closed the window shade and buckled his seatbelt, but with a sideways glance, he offered his hand for Q to hold onto. He didn't know what else to do, besides getting Q drunk on bad airplane liquor, and that was a /terrible/ idea. He was fully prepared for rejection and almost pulled his hand away as if he hadn't offered at all, but steadied himself. If it could help Q… James cursed himself for it, but he still wanted to make Q happy.  
Q reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a bottle, popping off the cap and dumping two pills into his hand. He swallowed them dry before returning the bottle to his pocket. He glanced at Bond’s hand before letting out a shaky breath and taking it. He mumbled something about keeping up appearances as the plane moved out to the runway.  
James frowned as the bottle disappeared back into Q’s pocket and made note to keep an eye on how many pills he was taking. He turned forward and offered Q a squeeze of reassurance but otherwise pretended he wasn't holding his hand and that this wasn't the most they had talked or interacted without fighting since he had come back.  
Q closed his eyes and gripped Bond’s hand tightly as the plane took off, focusing on his breathing. He knew the flight would only be a couple of hours, but that didn't change the fact that his anxiety was crippling. He whimpered softly as the plane hit a patch of turbulence and he squeezed Bond’s hand tighter.  
With a wince, James began to rub his thumb along the edge of Q’s hand. He glanced around and unbuckled, shifting in his seat so he was facing Q more. James gathered Q’s hand in both of his and, with another glance around leaned in towards him. “Hey Q. Don't make it bad... Take a sad song and make it better.” James kept his tone low and quiet as he sang so as to not disturb the other passengers, but it did seem to be helping. “Hey, Q. Don't be afr-” At that moment the person sitting in front of James reclined their seat and, with a very solid thunk, hit him in the head. He froze, the pain now radiating in his head barely phasing him.  
Q had managed to relax a bit as James began to sing to him and, if he thought enough about it, it was almost as if he had never left with Madeleine. He exhaled shakily as he opened his eyes just in time to see the reclined seat hit James in the head. A slight smile tugged at the corners of Q’s lips as he held back a chuckle.  
James narrowed his eyes imperceptibly at the incredulous smile playing across Q’s lips. Extremely slowly, he turned his head back to look at the passenger that had hit him. They were holding their hands up placatingly, apologies starting to fall from their lips. Instead of making them suffer, however, James dismissed them with a short nod and sat back properly in his seat. They may have been a moron, but there was color in Q’s cheeks again and he looked ready to smile. James left his hand on the armrest for Q to hold if he needed to, but otherwise settled in for the wait.  
There was still a hint of a smile on Q’s lips as he closed his eyes again, the medication kicking in. He let out a quiet sigh before drifting off, his head falling to rest against Bond’s shoulder.  
James got as comfortable as he could with Q lying against him, not wanting to wake him again. He tried to relax, but instead stayed wide awake, trying to control his emotions. James wanted to get mad because Q had told him now several times that he wanted more space, that he wanted a professional relationship only, and then he pulled this on him. This tugging at Bond’s heartstrings, making him want to take care of Q again, was particularly cruel of him when James was sure that as soon as they landed Q would rebuff him again. And James wanted to be /angry/ at him for that, but he held it back because he was the one allowing it, indulging him. So the agent sat in silence for the rest of the flight, slowly drawing in his wild emotions until he could at least pretend to be calm. When the pilot’s voice announced that they were landing, he blinked tiredly. He considered letting Q drive them to the hotel purely because he was quickly becoming exhausted, but decided he wouldn't suggest it. He could hold it together until they got to the hotel, then he would finally be able to escape Q’s sudden-shifting attitude.  
Q woke up from the jolt of the wheels hitting the runway and glanced around dazedly. He readjusted his glasses before letting his eyes fall on James. His face was hard, cold even. Q knew that he had done this to him, but James was the one who had ripped his heart out of his chest and trampled over it when he had left with Madeleine. Q didn't owe him anything, he had to remind himself. The plane came to a stop and Q stood up quickly, grabbing his bag and quickly exiting the plane, not bothering to wait for James.  
Bond followed with a sigh, catching up with Q and going to the car service. The hotel wasn't terribly far, but he bought a soda on their way out, hoping the cold drink would help keep him up. He led the way to the car, smiling slightly at the sleek Audi R8 that was waiting for them. James tried to keep his reaction to himself, not really sure if Q would want to share the moment with him, but couldn't help letting out a happy hum as he slid his hand over the gunmetal exterior.  
Q rolled my eyes at James as he got into the car without another word, buckling in. He pulled the bottle of pills out of his jacket pocket and popped one more into his mouth, swallowing it dry. He wasn't going to risk anything with Bond’s reckless driving.  
James caught the motion of Q’s swallow and watched with narrowed eyes as he put away the bottle again while the agent tossed his things in the back seat. He stiffly got into the front seat and started the car in silence, pulling out of the spot and beginning the drive to the hotel. James watched Q carefully in his peripherals as he leaned against the window and closed his eyes. Driving carefully so Q wouldn't be jostled, James waited for him to fall asleep so he could steal the bottle of pills from him.  
Q slept until they arrived at the hotel, slightly dazed as he glanced around. He rubbed his eyes and got out of the car, grabbing his bag before heading inside to check in. He had nearly forgotten that they would be sharing a suite, but luckily there would be two beds, two rooms if they were even luckier.  
James got out of the car, grabbing his things and following Q slowly. When he got in, however, Q was arguing with the concierge  
“No, you don't understand. We specifically asked for a two bed suite,” Q insisted as the concierge continued to look a bit flustered and searched through the information on the computer.  
"I'm sorry, sir, but it appears that you've booked the honeymoon suite."   
Q looked at the man in a bit of shock. “No. No, I don't want the honeymoon suite. Just... Do you have any other open rooms?”  
James quickly walked up alongside Q as the flustered concierge typed hurriedly into his computer. He slipped an arm around Q’s shoulder and pecked his cheek. “Darling, I'm sorry. I picked out the room. I thought you would be happy.” James ignored how Q was stiffening uncomfortably in his hold and turned his attentions to the concierge. “He's a devout Catholic, wants to avoid sex until marriage.” He smirked at the hassled-looking but relieved concierge. “We'll take the room.”  
Q bit his lip harshly and looked down at his feet, trying to hide how uncomfortable Bond’s touch had made him feel. He was actually beginning to look forward to kicking himself in the bathroom. The concierge handed over the keys to James as he handed him his (MI6's) card and signed for the room. Q didn't bother waiting for James, taking one of the keys and heading over to the lift.  
James exchanged a look with the concierge. “I guess I shouldn't have surprised him.” He sighed, shrugging as he snagged his things and followed Q, slipping his arm between the closing doors and swanning into the small lift with Q. When the doors closed behind them, James stepped back from Q and dropped his easy posture, instead slumping against the wall and pinching the bridge of his nose with a grimace. This was going magnificently.  
Q kept his eyes on the floor, rubbing them gently under his glasses as he let out a quiet sigh. The doors of the lift opened and he stepped out, easily finding their room and unlocking the door before stepping inside. Q dropped his bag on the ornate sofa as he glanced around. There was only one bed of course. He wanted to call Alec or Eve, ask how they would handle this mission, but he knew that would potentially compromise it.  
James walked into the room and surveyed it, walking towards the bed and dropping his stuff by the couch on the way over. He grabbed a pillow from the bed and tossed it onto one end of the couch. “I'm sorry for this, but we can't be making scenes like that. The last thing we need is to be recognizable. I'll sleep on the couch.” He spoke to the room as a whole, not looking fully at the Quartermaster.  
Q nodded his head with a quiet sigh, not able to bring himself to apologize. “Well, you know I'm not one for field work.” He let out a quiet sigh. “So, what's on the agenda for the evening?”  
James turned to face Q unobtrusively. “We have a few hours, then a meeting dinner with the dealers. I was going to catch a bit of sleep, but you can do what you want, as long as you're ready by 7:30, so we have time to get to the restaurant.”  
Q nodded his head slowly, running his fingers through his hair with a sigh. “Alright. Well, um… I, um... I'm going to... Shower.”  
James nodded, turning to the couch and settling down, setting an alarm on his phone and resting his head back. “Don't leave the room for a while, okay? We're supposed to be newly in love, and very easily distracted.”  
“Just like the good old days, huh…” Q muttered to himself as he dug through his bag for a change of clothes and my toiletries. He went to the bathroom and locked the door behind him as he let out a heavy sigh. James frowned as he heard Q’s parting words, but let it go, sinking under in exhaustion.   
After getting ready, Q had made his way down to the bar. He couldn't stay in the room with James any longer. He had really thought that he could do this and remain professional, but it grew harder with each passing minute. Q ordered himself a drink and sipped it idly, staring down at the countertop of the bar.

 

It seemed like seconds until the alarm woke him, almost pushing him into high alert for a moment. “Q?” Bond asked, looking around the room and not seeing him. He got up slowly and checked the room again. A slight stir of panic started up in his chest as he realized that, not only was Q missing from the room, but he couldn't hear him in the bathroom. James had told him not to leave the room, so what had happened in the hour that the agent had been asleep? He grabbed his phone and speed dialed Q as he went and visually checked the bathroom, looking at the things Q had been using to see if he had been interrupted and taken in the middle of something.  
Q felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and pulled it out, frowning when he saw Bond’s name on the screen. He answered with a sigh. “Yes?”  
Bond’s breath hitched with relief and he breathed out Q’s name like a sigh. “Q, where are you? Are you safe?” James slumped into the door frame as the tension started leaving his body. He grit his teeth as he felt a sudden flash of annoyance with Q. He had told him not to leave the room.  
“Yes, love. Just needed to stretch my legs,” Q replied, knowing the bartender and other patrons could be listening. “I'll be back soon, okay? Unless you want to join me?”  
“Q, I told you not to leave the room…” James whisper-sighed. “You're in a hotel full of hostiles, anything could have happened to you while I was asleep. Stay down there, I'll join you in a bit. Be ready to play nice boffin, we're still on mission.” He paused for a second, waiting for Q to respond. “Say, ‘Okay, honey, I'll see you soon.’ And smile.” He hung up, hoping Q would take care of the rest.  
“Yes, dear. I'll see you soon,” Q said, managing a small smile before hanging up and returning his phone to his pocket. He glanced around him once before staring down into his glass. With a sigh, he downed the small bit that was left and waited for James to arrive.  
The agent stripped quickly and stepped into the shower, giving himself a perfunctory wash and hurrying to dry off. He wouldn't want to leave Q down there alone for long, the dealer they were after would have people watching. He realized as he pulled on his clothes that he had nagged at Q on the phone while he couldn't respond or react outwardly. James hoped Q wasn’t annoyed enough that he would affect the mission with his attitude.  
Leaving the room, James took the elevator down to the hotel bar. He made his way over to Q with a grin. As he came up behind him, James slipped an arm around Q’s waist and kissed his temple. “How many drinks have you had?” He breathed into Q’s ear. James was still annoyed that Q had left the room with no notice, but more than that, he was worried that Q would blow the mission. That night was extremely important in earning some trust with the dealers and Q had been on medication all day and was now drinking. “One scotch please,” James politely asked the bartender. He sat next to Q, keeping in contact with him and leaning their heads close together.  
“Just the one,” Q replied with a shrug. “I needed something for the nerves.” He looked up at James with a small smile before raising a brow. “I thought you quit drinking,” he said softly, returning his gaze to the empty glass in front of him.  
James smiled and accepted the glass from the bartender. “I have.” He took a long sip, and turned to Q, pulling him close. He carefully broadcasted his movements so Q could see what was coming, and leaned in to capture his lips. James felt Q stiffen under his touch and waited it out, sucking softly at his lips until he relaxed, then coaxing open his mouth. Q tasted sweet and bitter, like whiskey, but James knew that he would taste like mint, not the scotch he was supposedly drinking. Slowly, he pulled away, pecking gently at Q’s lips a few times until his eyes opened again. When he saw that Q wasn’t going to overreact, James pulled away. “No one else has to know that, though.”  
Q hummed softly in response. He had wanted to push James away, but he couldn't. He had to take this mission seriously if he wanted it to go well. Q couldn't risk compromising it by rebuffing Bond’s actions and stalking away like he wanted to.  
James watched the emotions run through Q’s eyes with slight regret. He hated this situation and having to put Q through this ridiculous charade of what used to be... What used to be real. He tried to catch Q’s gaze, wanting to see if he was ready for the rest of the night, but turned away when Q pulled away from him.  
Q sighed softly and turned to look at James, reaching out to run his fingers through the agent’s hair. If this was how it was going to be, Q was going all out. “So, when are we meeting Bahar and his wife for dinner?”  
James leaned into Q’s touch, looking at him carefully out of the corner of his eyes. “We don't have very long left. Ten minutes until they show, another ten until we're expected, but as soon as they see us we'll become part of their group…”  
Q nodded and let his hand fall back to his side, not taking his eyes off James. It felt strange to be this close to him again, but it was almost nice. Q shook his head at the thought and turned to smile at James. “So, you're just going to keep pretending to drink at dinner?”  
James returned Q’s easy smile, his experience making it seem effortless, but inside he was confused again for the nth time this mission, this week, since he met Q. “I just have to make sure that they aren't paying attention. And when they are, I just say it's been refilled. It's expected that I know how to be, or at least act, polite while drunk, so it really doesn't matter in the end.”  
“True.” Q nodded, glancing around. “How will they know it's us?” He asked as he returned his gaze to James. Q carefully studied his face closely for the first time since he came back. James looked older, more worn down. Q wondered if it was because of him or Madeleine.  
“They thrive off of holding people off balance by seeming all knowledgeable. As soon as we checked in, they would've known our names, what we looked like, what room we're in. By bringing you, I'll be seen as trying to even the scales by making them uncomfortable, the possibility that they're homophobic. This means they're going to be unconditionally supportive. The wife will try to win your approval while the husband dazzles me with his knowledge and stock. That way it puts double the pressure on me, what with trying to keep up with Mr. Bahar and you telling me how wonderful they both are because you like the wife and don't want to be in bad standing with someone so charming. I mean, it's obviously not going to work like that this time, but that's the general plan.” James took Q’s hand in his own and looked down at it as he spoke, tracing the tendons on the back of Q’s hand and gently massaging his wrist.  
Q tensed at Bond’s touch but forced himself to relax, nodding his head slowly. “Alright. Sounds easy enough. Play nice with the wife while the men talk business. Lovely.”  
James looked up and smirked. “Well darling, this gives you a singular opportunity. She's going to be working for your approval, so have a little fun. You have the upper hand as long as she doesn't capture your interest. Make her work for it, hmm?” He pretended to sip from his drink again, glancing around the room for the dealers or any sign of their people.  
“I'll do my best, dear,” Q smiled sweetly as he followed Bond’s gaze. “It shouldn't be that difficult. I'm very good at looking bored.”  
James turned back to Q with an answering grin. “Don't look now, but we have company. They've just entered, they'll either go to their table and send someone to collect us, or come straight over. More subtle intimidation tactics.”  
Q nodded, keeping his eyes on James and trying his best to seem like he was madly in love with him, like the past year had never happened.  
Bond’s chest ached at Q’s expression. He wished that Q really meant it. It was something that James might never get back, not after everything that had happened. He pushed away the growing melancholy and brought his hand up to push Q’s hair back off his forehead a bit. James grinned at him happily, like he was newly in love with him again, drawing on the moment when he realized that he loved him for the first time.  
Q gently leaned into Bond’s touch as he watched two henchmen coming toward them out of the corner of his eye. “Well, I hope you're hungry, darling.”  
James smirked, letting his gaze travel across Q’s face to rest on his lips. “Absolutely ravenous,” he murmured, but leaned back slightly as the men reached them. “How can I help you gentlemen?” James asked them, keeping his gaze on Q for a while longer before finally glancing to them.  
“Mr. Bahar has requested that you join him for dinner." The man replied.   
Q turned to James. “You didn’t make any plans for dinner, did you, dear?”  
James caught Q’s gaze with a grin “Maybe for dessert but the anticipation will be worth it for that I think.” He turned to the men and slowly looked them up and down. “We accept their... Request. Too bad they couldn't deliver it themselves. Maybe you could show us the way?” He stood, turning to pull out Q’s chair for him.  
Q stood up from his seat and took Bond’s arm as the men led them back to the Bahars’ table. He looked up at James expectantly to introduce them.  
“Hello, Savas, Ceren. My name is James Craig, we've spoken before.” James shook Savas' hand as the man stood to greet them before turning to Q again. “This is my fiancé Quinn Whishaw. Quin, darling, this is Savas Bahar and his wife Ceren.” James tugged Q closer with an arm around his waist and let him shake hands with Savas as well. Q moved around Savas to greet Ceren but James stayed to chat with Savas.  
“Ah, why don't you two take your seats and we can eat and discuss our business,” Savas said. “Quinn, you don't mind me stealing your fiancé’s attention for some of the meal, do you? I assure you, my wife is quite pleasant to speak with.” James glanced at Q with the shadow of a grin on his face as Savas waited expectantly.  
“Oh, no, I don't mind at all,” Q replied with a smile before taking his seat at the table next to Ceren. He nodded along with a smile as she discussed her work in the fashion industry. But that could only last for so long. Q was bored out of his mind and couldn’t wait to excuse himself.  
After actually talking to the man, James realized how crafty he could be. With little effort he could direct a conversation, even almost fooling the agent once. He actually began to enjoy this charade until he glanced at Q for a moment and realized now was a perfect time. James distractedly turned away from Savas. “Excuse me. Quin? Love? Are you okay? You look a bit pale.”  
Q looked over at James and ran his fingers through his dark hair, taking note of what the agent was doing. “Um, yeah... No. Actually, I've got a massive headache.”  
“Would you like to go lay down or something?” James leaned closer to Q, slipping a hand around to rest on the back of his neck and meeting his eyes worriedly. “I can go get you some painkillers if you need it?”  
“No. No, that's fine.” Q shook his head a bit. “I think I've got some in my bag upstairs.” He reached out and gently brushed the backs of his fingers along Bond’s jawline. “I'll be alright, love. Don't worry about me. I'll go lay down for a bit and see if that does anything. Maybe I'll come back down a bit later?”  
“Okay, if you think that'll help,” James smiled gently at Q, standing to help him from his chair. “If you need anything, I have my phone on me, okay? Feel better. Drink some water.” He pressed a quick kiss to Q’s forehead.  
“I will,” Q nodded with a small smile as he gave Bond’s hand a gentle squeeze before leaving the dining room. He could finally stop pretending and be himself again. He made his way back to the room and got his gear before starting up his laptop to hack into the security system.  
When Q left, James apologized for both of their sakes, then continued the conversation, it becoming more of a round of banter than truly business. He obliged both of them to talk about their individual interests, commenting easily on many subjects, from cars to fashion. He started fidgeting after a good amount of time had passed, checking his phone every once in awhile and casting hopeful glances towards the entrance. Finally, Ceren took pity on him. “Maybe you should go see if he's okay?”  
James glanced at her as if surprised and she gestured to the phone in his lap. “Oh, no, I really shouldn't. I am being terribly rude aren't I? I'm sorry. I'll just call... No, I'll send him a text. He's fine,” James said, as if reassuring himself. He sent a quick message [Everything okay?] then set his phone facedown on the table. “My apologies. Please continue your story.” With little other hesitation than some warm glances between the two, the conversation carried on. James knew that Q was fine, and even that he wouldn't be much longer. The Bahar’s never had physical security at their door or in their rooms, and there was little chance that Q would get tripped up by an electronic security. With a small smile, James settled in to wait for him.

 

Once he got into the security system, Q looped the footage of the cameras in the areas he knew he would be in to get to Mr. Bahar's room. He also made sure to disarm any alarms and other security measures before exiting their room. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he read Bond’s message before responding. [Everything's fine. Just went out for some air] Q kept the message vague in case someone else were to see it. When he reached their door, Q found it rather easy to get inside, carefully closing the door behind him. He began to searching for the laptop that he knew was there, finding it on the bed. His job would be easier from here out.

 

James kept the conversation going while he glanced at his phone. He smirked at Q’s text, accidentally prompting a question from Savas. “Is your Quinn okay?”  
James smiled gently, although his chest ached slightly as he remembered again that it was all a charade. It was so easy to go back to thinking about Q how he was used to, to loving him, that he could forget the year that now separated them. “He's just fine. He might still join us tonight, though, I hope you won't be offended if we take our leave a bit early.” He smirked just enough to get the message across, then steered the conversation away again.

 

Q opened the laptop and turned it on, not surprised to find it password protected. He inserted his flash drive before beginning to type out a string of codes. It was easy enough to get past the external password, but the next was a bit more difficult. He glanced up at the door occasionally as he continued to hack.

 

James checked his phone again, a twinge of anxiety going through him as he saw how long had passed since Q’s last text. [How is everything going?] He quickly typed out the message and sent it, not pausing in his reply to Savas. They had somehow gotten to talking about real estate and James was outlining a bit of his idea for Skyfall Manor, though in not as much detail. The more he talked, the more thought James put into it, helped along by Savas' and Ceres' surprisingly insightful commentary. They weren't architects, but they had worked very closely with several when building their summer home and so were relatively knowledgeable. Looking between them and watching how they worked together as a team was enlightening, even with the knowledge that they were purposely endearing themselves to him for business purposes. It couldn't hide the fact that they really did love each other, as it showed through everything they did together. James mused upon this as they chatted about their summer home. How did they stay together, and continue to trust each other, in the business they were in?

 

Q felt his phone buzz in his pocket but didn't bother to check on it as he finally finished hacking into the system. He found the information easily and copied it to the flash drive before going back to cover his tracks. He shutdown the laptop and wiped up any prints he would have left behind. Q pulled out his phone to check the cameras outside the room before carefully exiting and going back to their room as he sent a message to Bond. [Alright. Just got back.]

 

James read the text and let out a quiet sigh of relief. “Looks like Quinn will still be joining us tonight.” This was met by smiles from Savas and Ceren.   
“This is good, I feel we barely got to know him,” Savas replied. James smiled in return, though for different reasons. The less people like Savas knew about Q, the better.

 

The thought of going back down to James made Q feel uneasy. It was hard to act like they were in love again, like the past year had never happened. He laid back on the bed, mentally preparing himself for going back down to James and the Bahar’s, but his gaze fell upon the mini fridge in the room. Q got up and went over to it, opening it. He eyed the contents before grabbing two of the small bottles of liquor and downing them both with a grimace. With luck, it’d be easier to deal with the charade downstairs with a bit less inhibition.  
James was swirling his glass when he looked up to see Q enter. He let the sight show physically, his posture opening as the corners of his mouth turned up, his visage brightening. Savas and Ceren followed Bond’s line of sight, easily picking Q out as he neared the table. “Welcome back,” James murmured to him as he sank into the chair next to him.  
Q smiled a bit and took Bond’s hand before turning to the Bahar’s. “I'm terribly sorry about that. I get massive headaches every time I fly. Don't know why I let him talk me into it.”  
James cradled Q’s hand in his own, stroking gently across the tendons. “That's because you know you're my good luck charm.” He glanced up at Q. “And I always help with the headaches, don't I?”  
“Only when you're not making it worse.” Q raised a brow at James with a bit of a smirk. He found it much easier to be close to the agent like this now that he was buzzed.  
James narrowed his eyes slightly at Q’s easy tone, but hid it in a smile as he turned back to the Bahar’s to include them in the conversation. When Q ordered an alcoholic drink from the waiter, James slanted his eyes at him, not saying anything but frowning slightly. Q had already had at least one drink before the dinner had even started, and now... James tried to shrug it off, but he soon saw that the situation was already becoming awkward. He turned to whisper in Q’s ear sharply. “We need to talk. Excuse yourself to go to the restroom. I'll meet you there in a few minutes.” He hid his displeasure behind a small smile, looking down at his glass and swirling the liquid inside and pretending to take a sip before he rejoined the conversation.  
Q huffed a bit so that only James could hear before turning to the Bahar’s with a small smile. “Will you excuse me for a moment? I have to use the loo.” He shrugged a bit before standing and exiting the dining hall.  
James waited a few minutes before excusing himself as well. He knew what the Bahar’s thought of their behavior, but it was much better than them thinking something was off about them, at least until they were clear of the hotel and their local purview. James slipped into the bathroom, glancing around for Q with a stormy expression.  
Q stood there, leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't understand what James was so worked up about. When he entered, Q rolled his eyes, knowing he was about to be lectured again.  
“What are you doing? The mission isn't over, you're still risking the information we're gathering!” James spat quietly. “Not to mention our lives and anything else they can torture out of us if they figure out who we are!”  
Q rolled his eyes at him with sigh. “Relax, Bond. It's two drinks. I can handle it. Don't worry. Honestly, what do you think I did before MI6?”  
“I thought you were a lightweight who got drunk and ground up against men on the dance floor and tried to have sex in club bathrooms, Q. You've had more than two drinks tonight. I can tell because you're acting like an utter twat.” James rubbed his hands through his hair, frustrated. “We're counting on you to not fuck this mission up, Q. I need to be able to trust you here like I can when you're speaking into my ear and I can't do that if you're too drunk to make clear decisions.”  
“Oh, please,” Q scoffed at Bond’s words. “You used to drink twice what I have and you were fine. I'm fine, Bond. And I promise you, there will be no grinding or bathroom sex tonight,” he huffed and pushed past him, returning to the table.  
James moved to stand in front of the mirror, leaning against the counter and letting his head roll forward before sighing and lifting back up to look at himself. He ran a hand over the shadow of stubble that was starting to grow back in, then straightened and washed his hands quickly as the door opened to admit someone else. He left, swiftly returning to the table where Q was quietly chatting with Ceren while Savas listened with some interest. James introduced another topic of conversation to Savas as he sat, but didn't let his full attention stay there. He slowly let his eyes trail to Q more often, then discreetly reached over to rest his hand a little above Q’s knee, hoping he would react conspicuously. James needed to get them back to the hotel room so they could start to clear out in time to leave early the next day.  
Q looked up at James when he placed his hand on Q’s leg. He put on a smile and reached out to gently run his fingers through Bond’s hair while he listened to Ceren talk. He let his hand fall back to rest on Bond’s as he responded to her.  
James watched out of the corner of his eye with a smirk as he slowly started to slide his hand up Q’s thigh, fingers tripping over his inseam. He blinked and looked back at Savas as, once again, his mind had slipped into the familiar feeling of being with Q. James turned the situation over in his mind until he was treating it like any other mission. As he should be. As it was starting to seem more and more impossible that they would ever be more than work acquaintances. James shook the thought out of his head, putting a little more effort into trying to leave as soon as possible.  
Q felt his body tense as James moved his hand up more. Luckily, Ceren didn't notice, but Q took Bond’s hand and brought both of their hands up to rest on the table. “Sorry. Someone's a bit eager this evening.”  
James smirked coyly, unembarrassed and dropping Q a quick wink. “How could I help myself?” He glanced back towards Savas with a more appropriate and slightly apologetic smile. “I hate to bring this evening to an end but maybe it's best if Quinn and I retired now.” With a few more minutes of small talk and goodbyes, James was following Q to the bank of elevators, standing rather closer than necessary. When they got into the elevator, he waited until the doors closed and stepped back once, leaving a polite distance between them once more.  
Q crossed his arms over his chest with a quiet huff, stepping out of the lift when the doors opened. He went to their suite and unlocked the door before heading inside, rubbing his forehead with a yawn.  
James followed Q in, shutting the door. He walked past him briskly, shedding his dinner jacket and slipping his phone into his pocket. “I'm going for a walk. Call me if you need anything.” James turned to leave but paused for a second, wondering if he should comment on the success of the night, maybe apologize for some of the things he had said when he was worried about the mission. He bit back his words instead, deciding he could talk about it later, but right now he just wanted to breathe for a bit.  
Q bit his lip softly when James paused at the door, not knowing if he was going to lash out at him or say something more civilized for a change. He half hoped that James would come back over and… Hug him? Shake his hand? Something. Even now, Q was craving his touch but knew he couldn't allow it to happen, that James would never dare. He sat on the couch when he left finally and stared at the floor. Q should have been happy that the mission had gone well, but he couldn't stop thinking about James and how easy it was to slip right back to where they had been a year ago. He hugged his knees to his chest and sniffled softly as he felt the sting of tears in his eyes. Q glanced over at the mini fridge, knowing there was still some booze left in there, and got up with a sigh. It was going to be a long night.

 

James was glad it was still summer in Turkey, as he had left his jacket behind to walk the streets, but it was a beautiful fifteen degrees. Taking his time, he watched the city's nightlife come into full swing. It was easy for the first half of his walk to completely keep his mind off the night, but finally he let his mind turn back to the mission. He hated how he had acted, but he had been truly worried for a bit when Q had returned drunk. James may have overreacted, as Q was still able to handle himself, but the Bahars were not stupid. They were still weapons dealers and he and Q were still stealing information from them to take them out. His mind went back to the first time Q had been truly tortured. He would rather Q hate him than see him like that again. The night had been so much harder than James had originally estimated when he had accepted the mission and even when he had learned that he would be working with Q instead of R. He thought he could keep separate from the charade, like he was always able to, but it wasn't a charade when it was Q. When James still loved him. Maybe even when Q still loved James, though his insecurity on that had been what drove him away in the first place. He sighed heavily as he neared the hotel again, looking up at their room from the outside and seeing that the lights were curiously still on. James made his way into the hotel and called the elevator, wondering why Q was still up.

 

Q was laid back, sprawled across the couch. Empty bottles of liquor were scattered across the floor where he had tossed them when he had finished. The room was practically spinning and all he could think about was James. Before he knew it, Q was crying again, sobbing softly.  
James quickly made his way down the hall and back to their suite, pausing at the door as he heard a strange noise from inside. He checked his phone, making sure that Q hadn't texted him for anything, then pushed the door open quietly. Peering through the gap and then letting the door open on its own, James took in the scene. Q was sprawled on the couch, sobbing weakly as tears rushed down his cheeks. James took a hesitant step in and let the door shut behind him with a quiet click. “Q? What's going on?” He pursed his lips as he realized the floor was covered in tiny bottles, but didn't comment yet.  
Q tried to wipe his eyes when he heard James come in, but it was no use. The tears just kept coming. “You... You chose her,” he managed to get out between sobs. “I-I... I needed you but you weren't there because you chose her instead of me.”  
James closed his eyes, leaning against the door. “You're drunk, Q. You don't want to do this. Not like this,” he finished practically at a whisper. He pushed off the door, moving to collect the small bottles, trying to give Q privacy so he could hopefully pull himself together.  
“Noooo…” Q pushed himself up into a sitting position and wiped his eyes some more. “If I don't say something now, I probably never will because I'm too busy avoiding you and being angry at you and being too sad to even care.”  
James stopped where he was, just a few steps away from where he had thrown away the bottles, and turned to Q. “So the only time you care for this anymore is when you're drunk? God, Q, why are you doing this? I'd rather do this when we can both remember what we discuss…”  
“No, James. You owe me an explanation.” Q stood up quickly, falling back down on the couch when he grew dizzy. The tears slowed finally and he wiped his eyes again, not caring that his glasses were skewed on his face. “I loved you!” Q shouted in admission, looking up at James. “Fuck, I still love you and I /hate/ myself for it! Because you chose her. You... You didn't even seem to like her when I met you in Austria. I don't…” A sob escaped from him, tears rolling down his cheeks again. “I thought you had come back for me. I thought you'd changed your mind, but you just took the Aston and left! I don't... I don't understand. Why did you... Why did you leave me? I don't understand! What did I do wrong? We were finally in a good place again and you just left with /her/. I don’t understand, James!”  
James jumped forward when Q fell, but looked on in dismay, trying to understand what the younger man was telling him. “Why did I leave? I left because I wasn't sure if you really cared for me! You know what my life is. I am lied to everyday! And I knew that you /acted/ caring towards me, but for all I knew it was just another lie! You never-! You never told me you loved me before…” He drew a shaking hand over his mouth and jaw for a second, trying to clear his thoughts. “And the same thing happened before, with Vesper, and I couldn't understand why you would want to be with me anyways! I just wanted to know that someone wasn't lying to me and Madeleine was that person. She had no part in this life. She had no ulterior motives. She was simple.” James turned away from Q, gesturing away from his body as if she didn't matter. “And we weren't in a good place when I left, we fucked and you left in the morning like that was all you needed from me. You didn't even try to fight against me when I came for the car. You just accepted it like it wasn't a big deal! You wouldn't even call me by my name until the very end and even then you wouldn't talk to me. You /never/ would just talk to me!” James spun towards Q again with his last words, eyes stinging with tears. “Not unless you're drunk apparently.”  
Q shook his head, running his hands through his messy hair. “I never lied to you! Not once! How could you even think that? I would never lie to you. I love…” He took a deep breath to stop the sobs that he knew would come. “I... I was scared... I was scared because, every time I said it in the past…” Q covered his face and shook his head continuously for a moment. “I-I didn't want to associate you with that. Not- not with love, but with... All the shit I went through.” He couldn't stop the sob that escaped from him. “Fuck, James, I thought we were okay. I... I... I left that morning because I got called into work. I didn't want to wake you. I... I thought we were okay. And then you left with her. On the bridge, you left with her. I... I knew you weren't coming back for me. I wanted it so badly, but you just wanted the fucking car.” Q’s voice broke at the end of his sentence and he sobbed again, burying his face in his hands.  
James faltered forward at Q’s words, frowning in consternation. “I wouldn't have known, Q. You never talked to me. We never really talked about us, not unless there was an emergency. How can I ever assume I know anything when I know that an assumption could be the one mistake to kill me in my life? And what? What do you mean about the past?” He tried to focus, but Q was still crying and James felt the need to explain himself. “How could I have known that you got called in, all I knew was that I had told you about M's message, something no one else knew, and you had left me in the morning. And of course I didn't want the fucking car. I wanted to give you the chance to try for me, for /us/ again, and instead you just acted like nothing was wrong, like I was just any agent coming in for gear, so professional of you to let me go without a fight. Q, you can't blame me entirely for leaving, it's not like I left on a whim, or I got bored, I had /reasons/.”  
Q just shook his head as he held it in his hands, sobbing as tears streamed down his face. He was crying so much in his drunken state that he couldn't even manage to get any words out for a while. He didn't dare look at James when he finally could speak again. “You didn't try either. You didn't. You just left and I... I needed you. I needed you and were gone. I-I had to go to the funeral alone. And... I barely even made it through. I just wanted you so badly and you weren't there! You left,” he whispered. “You left me.”  
“Fuck, Q…” James finally whispered, moving forward to sit near Q on the couch. He covered his face with his hands in an unconscious mirror of the younger man’s state, but then ran both hands through his hair before turning towards him. He reached slightly towards Q, just wanting to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but instead he let it drop. It was really all his fault. James had completely dropped Q and left him to whatever had happened in his absence, the particulars of which he still didn't know. All that Q was going through now was because James hadn't been there for him when he needed him, even if he was, God forbid, slightly uncomfortable with their relationship while it happened. Instead of sticking it out, James had taken the first opportunity to leave. Then, to make it worse, he had come back as if nothing had happened between them and made Q uncomfortable with his advances. He sighed shakily, guilt and remorse building up like a physical force trying to crack his sternum from the inside out in a bid to escape his body. “Q, I should have stayed, tried to work things out. I never should have left you... I'm sorry, and I know it doesn't help, but…” He gently moved his hand forward so it nudged at the side of Q’s thigh, not knowing what else to do.  
Q looked up up at James after a moment, sniffling and wiping his eyes, hiccuping softly from both the alcohol and the crying. He adjusted his glasses finally and met Bond’s eyes. Without thinking of the consequences, he leaned in and kissed him, placing his hands on his cheeks. Tears continued to flow from Q’s eyes as he squeezed them shut, just wanting the pain to stop.  
James froze under Q’s touch, his lips automatically moving against Q”s, but he was confused as to what the younger man wanted and how to react. What did he want from him now? Finally, James closed his eyes and gave in to the urge to fully kiss Q back, though he kept it slow, letting Q control the kiss.  
Q pulled back just enough to press his forehead to Bond’s, letting out another quiet sob. He shook his head as he moved to stand up, a bit wobbly on his legs at first. Once he was steady on his feet, he shook his head again. “I knew this would happen. It didn't matter how happy I was. I always knew you would leave.”  
James stood at Q’s words, feeling like he had whiplash at the change in his demeanor.  
“Q, I'm here now, I'm not leaving again. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you before, but I promise I'm staying now.” He took a small step closer and reached his hand out to rest just above Q’s elbow. “I swear I will never willfully leave you again.”  
Q stepped away from James, shaking his head as he ran both of his hands through his hair “No! You'll leave! They always leave. They say they won't but they always do!”  
James blinked, nonplussed. “Who are they, Q? And Q, please, do you think any /they/ could be like me? I'm not leaving, not running, anymore. Nothing you say can change that. Even if you don't want to chance being with me again, I'll be here still. This is my life. I know that now. Until death. Or, miraculously, retirement.” He gently reached forwards to snag Q’s hands from his head where they were tugging harshly at his scalp. “I'll always be here.”  
“You won't,” Q replied hoarsely as he stepped back, turning away from James. He shook his head and wiped his eyes once more before walking out. He couldn't do it. Especially in his drunken state. Being around James was just too much.  
The agent’s heart sank as Q left, along with much of his hope that they would ever be together again, but he merely sat on the couch. The pillow and blanket he had set on the couch earlier were still there and he pulled them around him, but tried not to fall asleep yet, in the hopes that Q would come back and they could talk again. James was waiting for him right there. He couldn't, wouldn't let himself, leave Q again. Not when he had promised and Q had been so certain that he was still leaving. And especially not when he had so many questions about what had happened to Q, both in the past year and sometime ago that still seemed to haunt him now. James laid the pillow down near the arm of the chair, and placed the blanket over his lap, but still he struggled to keep himself awake, regardless of how tired he was. Finally, he nodded off against the back of the couch, head craned to the side uncomfortably in a position that would certainly hurt in the morning.

 

Q didn't go very far. He made it down to a small rec center on a lower floor that was empty, finding a chair and curling up in it. He tried to keep his sobs under control but it became harder and harder to suppress them. Tears continued to stream from his eyes and he had begun to hiccup again. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed by the time one of the security guards told him that he needed to return to his room. Q stood up on wobbly legs but the guard caught him. He offered to take escort Q back and he nodded. When they arrived at the room, Q discovered that he hadn't grabbed a key when he had left. The guard knocked on the door as Q sniffled softly.  
James snapped awake as there was a knock on the door, jerking upright and standing to hurriedly make his way to the door. Adrenaline washed through his system as he realized it was much later and the room was still empty, making him wish he had snagged his gun while he had still been near his bag. A glance through the eyehole in the door, however, only caused a bemused frown. With a quick twist, James slowly pulled the door open, fixing a tired expression on his face and blinking uncomfortably as the lights hit his eyes. “Quinn?” He murmured quietly, glancing questioningly at the guard  
“I found him a few floors down, it seems he’s been there for a while…” The guard looked between them warily before nodding decisively. “Have a good night, sirs.” With a tip of his hat, he turned and walked away. James returned his attention to Q and stepped back from the doorway, letting him in without a word.  
Q wiped his eyes one last time, sniffling softly as he went over to his bag. He began undressing, wanting to get into something more comfortable. He struggled with the buttons of his shirt, frowning deeply. He gave up and began to work on his trousers instead, pushing them down and kicking them off, nearly tripping and falling over. He caught himself, grumbling softly, and gave up with the rest of his clothes.  
James watched Q cautiously, returning to the couch. Apparently, there would be no more talking that night, but he was glad Q was at least back in the room and not somewhere suspicious arms dealers could find him. He couldn't wait until they were done with the mission, until they could talk without the stress of a mission objective hanging over them. Maybe, if Q even remembered what had happened that night, when they talked again it would be easier, as they had gotten past the hardest part. James leaned against the couch, waiting for Q to settle down so he could finally sleep.  
Q groaned softly in exhaustion as he stumbled over to the bed, catching himself before he could fall on it. He pulled back the covers and stood there for a moment, staring down at the space the pillow James had taken should have been, before looking up and making eye contact with James. Q glanced at the couch and furrowed his brows. “You're not seriously going to sleep there, are you?”  
James shrugged, letting his head fall forward and rubbing at his eyes. “Yeah, I was. I thought you would have appreciated it, with how displeased you were with finding out we had the honeymoon suite.” He glanced at Q out of the corner of his eyes, tipping his head back and crossing his arms. “Of course, if you don't mind, I would prefer not to.”  
Q yawned and rubbed his eyes with a shrug, waving a hand out to the other side of the bed to let James know it was fine. He removed his glasses and set them on the bedside table before crawling under the covers.  
James snagged the pillow that he had taken from the bed earlier, slowly trailing over to the opposite side from Q. He set the pillow down, quietly shucking his t-shirt. He slipped under the covers, barely disturbing the bed. He stayed on his side, tucking his arm up under his pillow. James held his breath for a moment, listening intently to Q’s breathing, or if he had shifted since the agent got into bed. He gasped in a breath of air as Q suddenly touched his back, his hand feeling like a brand against Bond’s skin. Q’s touch trailed up to his shoulder, wrapping around his upper arm. James turned easily as Q tugged, letting the younger man pull him to face him.  
Q rolled over a bit and curled up against James, not really aware of what he was doing in his drunken haze. He was passed out in seconds, snoring quietly with his face buried in the agent’s chest.  
James looked down at Q cuddled to his chest, his pale skin glowing in the low light of the room. The agent exhaled slowly, closing his eyes and letting himself relax finally. He knew he shouldn't have turned, shouldn't have allowed this, but he couldn't help it. He wouldn't deny Q any comfort, even when he knew the younger man would regret it in the morning.


	39. Chapter 39

Q slept easily through the night, waking the next morning with a groan. He rubbed his eyes and furrowed his brows when he realized there was something heavy draped over him. He reached a hand out, fumbling for his glasses. He finally grabbed them and put them on, freezing when he realized that Bond’s arm was draped over him. Q just stared at the agent’s sleeping form in shock. How the hell could he have let this happen? He pushed Bond’s arm away and got out of bed, grabbing his bag and going back to the bathroom, locking the door behind him.  
James woke slowly, unexpectedly comfortable in a way that made his mind reluctant to become alert. He let himself luxuriate in the feeling of warmth, bare motions of his body and arm flexing letting him know there was someone in his arms. It took a moment before he realized who it was. James carefully made sure there was no outward reaction. He tracked Q’s motions, from the younger man reaching for his glasses, to realizing he was in bed with him. The bed shook gently as Q slipped out and James almost took that as the opportunity it was to 'wake up' in time to confront him, but instead he listened to the quiet rustles Q was making and then a door clicking shut. As soon as James was alone in the room, he rolled onto his back. The slightest regret rolled through his chest slowly, but it was washed away by contentment. Last night had been the best the agent had slept in, if he was to be honest, a year and a half.  
Q placed his hands on the counter, leaning forward as he took a deep breath and looked up at his reflection. How had he let this happen? The worst part was that it felt so /right/. He couldn't hold back the sob that escaped him as tears began to form in his eyes. This time, it wasn't because he was drunk and depressed. It was because he missed James. He was right there, but Q couldn't have him. James had made his choice clear when he left.  
James pushed himself up slowly, glancing at the still closed door. He deliberated for a few minutes as to if he should even try to confront Q, but in the end, he clicked his tongue quietly and stood. He just wasn't going to give up that easily. He moved over to the bathroom door, padding silently with bare feet. With the slightest hesitation, he leaned against the doorframe and knocked gently.  
“What?” Q replied to the agent’s knocking, sniffling softly as he wiped his eyes. He adjusted his glasses on his face before moving to change his clothes. Q didn't want to deal with whatever James had to say. He was tired and crying and just wasn't himself and he knew it would end badly.  
James pursed his lips, listening to Q sniffle quietly. It still, at this point, could be a better idea to leave this conversation off to another day, but he didn't like the idea of letting Q slip away to avoid talking to him again. “Q, can we talk?”  
Q didn't answer James as he finished getting dressed. He brushed his teeth and tried to tame his unruly curls. Really, he just wanted to waste some time, put off whatever James wanted to say a moment longer. Finally, Q let out a sigh and opened the door, not letting himself meet the agent’s eyes.  
James let his limbs unfold as Q passed him and he pushed off from the doorframe. “Q, please, don't just push me away again. Not after last night. We finally have a chance to get this all off of our chests and you're just going to run away from it all?” He huffed, more than slightly frustrated. Turning from Q as the silence prevailed, James halfheartedly picked through his duffel for something to wear, feeling the need to follow Q’s example for once and lock himself away from Q and the situation. Frustration was rather quickly building to angry flames in Bond’s chest, making him wish he was on a far more dangerous mission.  
Q frowned and looked back as the bathroom door clicked shut. He hated doing this to James, especially after their talk the night before, but Q just couldn't allow himself to get close to him again. It hurt too much.  
James decided to shower quickly, leaving the water chilly as he efficiently washed up. After getting out and drying off, he pulled on his trousers, throwing the towel around his neck and leaving his shirt unbuttoned even as he slipped on his shoulder holster loosely. He ducked out of the bathroom for a moment to grab his toiletries, avoiding Q’s eyes with practiced ease.  
Q packed up his things, frowning when he couldn't find his pills. He searched through the rest of the room, still not finding them. When James emerged from the bathroom, he was going to ask if he had seen them, but he was gone again before he had the chance.  
James spent the rest of their time before departure shaving deftly before coming out finally to pack. He could feel Q’s tension, but didn't try to speak to him again until it was time to leave to get to their flight. “Ready to go?” He asked politely, moving towards the door, ready to open it for them.  
“Where are my pills?” Q asked as he grabbed his bag and pulled it over his shoulder. “I need them, James, and I know you have them.”  
James pursed his lips at the sharp tone Q was using, tired beyond belief of dealing with it all. With one hand, he searched through the outside pocket of his bag, taking out the small bottle and shaking it at Q. With a flick of his wrist, James tossed the bottle to him, turning to open the door without another word.  
Q caught it and followed James out of the room, tucking the bottle into his pocket for for safe-keeping. He knew that the flight home was going to be hell and he was not looking forward to it.

 

James drove us to the airport, slowly feeling his anger cooling as the drive calmed him. He could feel Q’s tension again as he fidgeted in the seat next to him, the bottle of pills clacking quietly. He tried to focus instead on the fact that they were almost done, that they would soon be back at MI6 for their debriefing and then they could leave, be apart for a while. James knew he still wasn't willing to give up on Q, and he hoped the younger man knew it too, but he still felt raw from the emotions brought up the night before and that morning. He knew Q probably had it ten times worse with a hangover and anxiety for the flight. So, he stayed quiet, letting them stay within their own pockets of thoughts.  
Q stared out the window as James drove, fists clenched and body tense. He was thankful for his lack of a headache. That would have made things much less bearable. When they arrived at the airport, he got out of the car and grabbed his bag before heading inside to check in.  
James followed quietly, mind returned to the bottle of pills. Q had never used them, in his memories, so what had caused the change? The fact that it had probably been something that happened while James was gone made it even more tempting to ask. Finally, as they sat and the pills reappeared for Q to take some, James asked. “Why do you need the pills now?” He spoke quietly, eyes locked on the bottle as Q tipped some into his hand.  
Q froze at Bond’s question, looking down at the pills in his hand before popping two into his mouth. He cleared his throat, still not meeting Bond’s eyes. “I, um... When you were gone… Something happened at home. I didn't have time to take anything before the flight and then…” He trailed off, knowing he would probably just start crying if he tried to talk about it.  
James nodded at the confirmation, wishing that there was more information at hand, but not pressing for more. “I'm sorry… I…” 'I should've been there' were the unspoken words.  
Q just shook his head, standing up when they were called to board. He knew what James was going say. “But you weren't,” he replied quietly as he took his ticket to the gate.  
James sat where Q had left him for a morose moment. Finally, with a determined expression, he stood, quickly catching up to Q. “I wasn't there, and I should have been. I know that and it's my fault that you were... Alone that year.” He forced himself to say it, though it left a horrible empty ache in his chest. “But Q, I'm trying to be here now. And I don't expect anything from you, just... Please consider it?”  
“It’s too late for that,” Q said softly before walking through to board the plane. He wiped his eyes when he felt himself tearing up again. Thankfully, he would be asleep soon and then they would be home. Then they could leave this behind them and get on with their lives. He sat down in his seat and buckled in before turning to lean his head against the closed window.  
James pursed his lips in frustration and followed Q, mostly so he could avoid being near the civilians still boarding behind them. Sitting beside Q, he glared at the seat in front of him, letting all of his emotion slowly drain until he was completely blank. It was almost like sleeping, and the four hour flight went by in a flash.   
Q slept through the flight, waking with a jolt when the plane finally landed. He looked around groggily, and yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes in an attempt to avoid Bond’s gaze. Once the plane came to a stop, he stood up, waiting for James to move so he could get off the plane.  
Silently, James stood, gathering his things and handing Q his. As they exited the plane, entering the terminal, he turned to Q. “I'm going to use the restroom, why don't you go meet the MI6 car? I won't be long,” he said crisply, a bland, polite smile adorning his face. Emotions were so much easier when used as accessories to create, rather than feeling them trapped in one’s chest, causing them to make bad decisions.  
Q frowned at Bond’s words, wondering if James was actually planning on coming along or not. Honestly, he didn't think that he would. Q tugged his bag over his shoulder and went out to the waiting car, getting into it with a sigh.  
Q waited in the car for almost ten minutes before giving up and telling the driver to head back to headquarters. When they arrived, he decided to go straight to M's office, wanting to just get it over with right away. He told him how the mission went, that he had successfully copied the appropriate files to have Savas Bahar arrested. Q almost felt bad for him. He and his wife weren't terrible company. Q did, however, leave out his fight with James and the fact that he had been a drunken mess, but M didn't seem to suspect anything. He included that James probably wouldn't be in for a day or two, seeing as the agent had ditched him at the airport, but M seemed to have expected that. When he was dismissed, Q flashed a small smile at Eve before making his way down to his office in Q Branch. He had a few things he wanted to do before he could go home.  
Q didn't get home until almost midnight. Those few things he had wanted to get done had turned into hours of work, but now he was home. He could curl up in bed with Archimedes and sleep in late. M had told him to take the morning off to recuperate and Q wasn't about to turn that down. He was exhausted from the mission. He changed into his pyjamas and got into bed, removing his glasses with a sigh. Despite the fact that James was involved in most of his dreams, he managed to sleep through the night. He just couldn't get the agent out of his head. Q hated pushing him away but he just couldn't open himself up to that kind of pain again. He didn't get into work until noon the next day, surprised when he found out that James still hadn't checked in with MI6. The Quartermaster felt a tinge of worry, but brushed it off. James was probably fine. He always was.  
As the days passed, Q grew more worried about James. It wasn't like him to disappear for so long. The minions had started a betting pool on whether or not he would actually come back this time, despite Q’s best efforts to put a stop to it. Q’s worry for James must have been more obvious than he had thought because Eve began to visit him more often, much like she had when James had left with Madeleine. However, her latest visit wasn't personal. M had sent for Q. He followed her up to his office and entered, wondering what he had to say now. "Do you know where Bond is?"   
Q was put off by his question. “No, why would I?”  
He sighed at Q’s response. "Find him, Q. Use any means necessary. I need to know if we have a rogue agent on the loose."   
Q swallowed thickly at the thought and nodded before dismissing himself and heading back down to his office. He pulled up Bond’s credit card records, frowning when he saw that he had bought a ticket to Hong Kong. It just didn't make sense. James had no business there. Q shook his head, pulling up the cameras at the gate and confirming that the agent hadn't boarded the plane. He pulled up Bond’s bank records and found that he had withdrawn a rather large sum of money. It was hard to get away with hauling that much cash through airport security, so Q pulled up the cameras in the train stations throughout London, searching for any sign of James. While he ran the stills through facial recognition, Q pulled up the Smart Blood program. He didn't like using it when James didn't want to be found. It felt like an invasion of privacy. But he had orders.   
He gasped, nearly spilling his tea when he saw that there were no vital signs. What had happened? James couldn't be dead. Q didn't believe it for a second. But then the voices in the back of his head started spouting ideas. James had killed himself and it was his fault. He had pushed him too far and there was no coming back. Q shook the thoughts from his head. No. James was alive. He wouldn't have done all this to cover his tracks if he wasn’t. Q took a deep breath to calm himself before searching for a more logical answer. The Smart Blood must have just been filtered out of the agent’s system. He pulled up Alec's vitals as well to confirm his suspicions. There was nothing there. He let out a sigh of relief and leaned back in his chair, watching the thousands of faces being compared to Bond’s.

 

 

James walked straight out of the other side of the airport, getting into a cab and giving the driver a benign address, then catching a cab from there as well, giving them a more remote location. He walked a bit, disposing of his MI6 phone and avoiding any cameras he could, hiding his face casually from the ones he couldn't. After a bit, James dropped into the tube system and changed his clothes in a bathroom, checking for any bugs on him or his bag before disappearing easily into the rush of people. He emerged, taking another cab. “Just keep driving,” he told the driver, using his phone to purchase a ticket to Hong Kong with one of his lesser known credit cards, something MI6 would still be able to track relatively easily. Finally, James told the cabbie to drop him off near a branch of a bank he held an account with, walking the few blocks there to withdraw a few thousand pounds. He walked down to the tube station nearby, taking it a few stations up before exiting by the train station. Using cash, he bought a ticket to Scotland. Settling into the train car, he ordered a coffee, watching the scenery pass by as the train picked up speed. James folded his hands in his lap calmly, beginning to plan a list of things that he would need to buy when he arrived. Food, warmer clothes, a phone. He would need to call Kincaid, see how he was doing and if he would like to have a hand in his project. Buy new guns, or see if he could get the others back. He relaxed into his new sense of purpose, happily ignoring the possibilities of consequences from MI6.  
James arrived in Scotland, making it his first priority to find a phone, and thought casually about buying a car to have while he worked there. After reconnecting with Kincade, and finding out that the man was thrilled to find him nearby for pleasure rather than any nasty business, James busied himself at the local shopping area, getting a quick bite to eat and some heavier clothes. He would have to find a place to leave them there, though it probably wouldn't be an issue to find space with Kincade's help. He was picked up by the groundskeeper and taken back to his cottage in the town nearest Skyfall, where his wife was waiting with a fire-warmed home, homemade stew, and a guest bed made up for James. It was nice talking to them again, as they were part of his childhood and staying with them felt like the closest thing to home he had experienced in almost two years now. Early the next morning, Kincade and James took a walk around the Skyfall property, seeing the damage and beginning to discuss renovation plans.  
The next few days went quickly, working with Kincade and his wife to draw up plans and make a few calls to contractors for quotes. Every morning, Kincade and James would go on a brisk walk around the property, sometimes stopping to check on some of the outer buildings that were undamaged, but would need some upgrades to keep them standing for much longer. While working, Kincade had dropped some subtle questioning about why James was considering building there again, and more pointed questions about a possible /who/, but he deflected them. Even so, he couldn't keep the thought of Q out of his head. He was quite discouraged at the moment that Q would ever give him another chance, but the quiet hope inside of him still hadn't died, and it only grew as the plans began to come together into something truly pleasant. James knew he had to leave soon. Purposeful ignorance of the consequences or not, he was still going to be in a rather lot of trouble for staying away so long, but he couldn't help but enjoy his time there for a bit longer before considering going back to London.  
James pulled Kincade into a hug as he dropped him off outside of the train station. He had left all the clothes and supplies he had bought there with him, where they'd stay in a storage shed until he had the opportunity to return again. Reluctant though he was, it was time for James to return to MI6, as he was sure they weren't entirely too happy with him. He had enough money on him still to make it back to London without use of his credit cards, and he set off early in the morning, before dawn had really changed the day yet. It was still morning when James arrived, snagging a cab to take him to the building his flat was in so he could shower quickly and change into something else. He was still feeling rather relaxed from the days he had spent away, so he went for jeans and a Henley rather than force himself into a suit straight away. He walked the short way to MI6, not making it far before he was being escorted by several wary agents, though he continued strolling calmly the way he had been headed already: up to M's office.

Q sat back in his seat with a sigh, rubbing his face. He had been in his office all night, waiting to see if there was a match on any of the cameras. Finally, it pinged with a match. He got to work, following Bond’s movements on the cameras until he found the train the agent boarded. A few seconds later, he knew exactly where he was going and he swallowed thickly. There were only two reasons James would go to Scotland: to see Q’s parents or go to Skyfall. Neither seemed good. Q got up from his desk and quickly made his way to M's office, not hesitating to open the door and walk right in despite Eve's protest. “He's in Scotland!” He announced as he stepped through the threshold. However, Q froze immediately upon seeing M's furrowed brows and the back of Bond’s head.  
James turned to look at Q with a bland expression, not feeling in the mood to joke around with the way M had been speaking to him a second before. “Honey, I'm home,” he said dryly into the silence.  
“Thank you for your input, Quartermaster,” M said. “ If you could please wait in the hall to make your report until we're done here?”  
James took the awkward moment to look Q over subtly, slightly worried at what he saw. Q looked paler than normal, and tired circles casted his eyes into shadow. Had he been sleeping at all in the time that James had been gone?  
Q just stood there and stared at James for a long moment. He bit his lip softly and finally let out a quiet sigh, removing his glasses to rub his eyes. God, he was tired and this definitely didn't help anything. Q shook his head and left the room without another word, ignoring Eve as he made his way back down to his office.  
When he returned to Q Branch, Q sat behind his desk and just stared at the screen for a while. James was back-- again-- and it was almost as if nothing had even happened-- again. Q almost envied the way the agent was able to practically turn off his emotions. Everything seemed so easy for him and Q hated it. He leaned back in his chair and removed his glasses, rubbing his eyes with a heavy sigh.

 

It was almost easier to deal with the rest of the scolding after having Bond’s worries for Q reawakened. M's words went straight over his head with his murmured assurances that he was not defecting and that he would, in the future, check in after the mission, keeping time with the small pauses in the lecture. Finally, the man sighed, resting his hands on his desk and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just... Go. But you're expected in psych in a few hours so don't go far. You're not cleared for missions until they say, so don't think this is something you can avoid.” He made a distracted shooing motion with a hand, sitting down behind his desk as James left, quietly relieved.   
Moneypenny shot the agent a strange look, neither pleased nor angered, but didn't say anything, so he left with a small nod of his head. A few minutes of aimless walking later, avoiding thinking about heading to Q-branch, he decidedly made his way down to the gym. He wasn't buzzing with adrenaline like he normally was when he hit the gym, but a few laps in the pool was never a bad idea for burning time.   
After about an hour in the pool, James smoothly pulled himself out, sitting on the edge and panting. As he contemplated what to do for the next hour until psych called him in, he heard a purposeful scuffing noise behind him. Purposeful because the only people to use this part of the gym were agents and agents didn't typically announce their presence with something as benign as footsteps. James didn't react besides a small tilt of his head, letting them know he was listening.  
Alec stood behind him, arms crossed over his chest as he watched the other agent. “You know, I almost wasn't expecting you to come back this time.”  
“Then, maybe you don't know me as well as you thought you did,” James commented blandly, glancing off at the other side of the pool.  
“Maybe you're right…” Alec said quietly with a heavy sigh, rubbing his forehead. “Well? What was it this time? Another pretty girl? Or did you find a guy more to your liking?”  
James stood, twisting around to face him. “What is your-” He grunted, swinging broadly at Alec’s face. “-problem?”  
Alec swiftly dodged the punch, grabbing Bond’s arm and pinning it behind his back with ease. “A bit out of practice, are we, James?”  
“More like I don't want to bruise my fist on your thick head,” James grunted, relaxing in Alec’s hold as he pulled up on his bad shoulder. He sighed, suddenly tired. “What do you want Alec?”  
Alec released James from his hold and took a step back. “I want to talk about Q.”  
James shook himself as Alec released him, rolling his shoulder out before turning to face him again. “Why…” He exhaled the word out as a sigh. “-do you want to talk about Q?”  
“Because I don't want him getting hurt again,” he sighed and rubbed his forehead. “If you think he's a mess now, you should've seen him when you first left… It's not good, James.”  
“I don't want to hurt him.” James closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “Why do you care anyways? You were never friends with our favorite boffin.”  
“A lot changed while you were gone, mate,” Alec replied with a shrug, sighing softly.  
James glanced up sharply at him. “What's that supposed to mean?” He looked Alec over as if it would give him a hint as to if he was implying what James thought he was implying.  
“It's been over a year, James. Things aren't what they used to be and you need to accept that.”  
“Aren't what they used to b-? What exactly are you saying is different here?” James reached out to grab his towel, scrubbing at his hair with agitation. “Are you saying…? Why are you saying this?” James grimaced, feeling betrayed almost, by someone he counted as his best friend. And by Q, who this whole time hadn’t told him.  
“I'm just saying…” He sighed and scratched the back of his head. “Don't expect too much from him.”  
“Don't expect too much of him because what? Because you're sleeping with him?” James tossed the towel to the side and stormed away.  
Alec blinked in confusion and turned to watch James go. “Shit,” he murmured, pulling out his phone to call Q.  
James threw his clothes on, practically ripping his shirt before gripping into it and forcing a few deep breaths. He slid on his shirt slowly. Feeling more in control, he stalked through headquarters, making his way down to Q-branch quickly. Moving around the edge of the room, James avoided both the minions and the attention of most people in the room, and slipped into Q’s office with no issue. He shut the door behind him with a sharp click, striding sharply into the middle of Q’s office.  
“Alec?” Q questioned as he answered his phone, brows furrowed when James walked in. “What? What're you-? Never mind. Bond's here, I need to- I'll talk to you later.” He hung up and looked up at Bond. “James?”  
The agent opened his mouth to answer but froze, instead wiping his hand across his mouth and turning away, putting his other hand on his hip. He exhaled sharply, pacing slightly forward. “Talking to Alec again, huh?”  
“He called me,” Q said, watching James closely with confusion. “James, what's going on?” He could tell that the agent was upset about something, but Q didn't know what. He stood up, placing his hands flat on the desk. “James?”  
“Oh, you do a lot of talking now a days, don't you?” James whirled to face Q. “Why wouldn't you just tell me? Did you think you were helping me by keeping it a secret?” He sighed explosively, turning away to pace again.  
Q just stared at him with furrowed brows, mouth agape. He blinked a few times and shook his head, rubbing his eyes. “Okay. You've lost me.”  
James finally stopped, turning to face Q. “Why didn't you tell me that you were /fucking Alec/?!”  
Q just stared at the agent incredulously. “What the fuck are you talking about?”  
James blinked, thrown back a bit by Q’s words. “Alec told me you've been fucking since I've been gone. Why would you hide that from me?” He sighed, easing his weight back on his feet and releasing some of his tight posture.  
“I'm not hiding anything from you, James.” Q shook his head, not believing what he was hearing.  
James scoffed, throwing his hands up. “I can't believe this. Why are you /still/ trying to hide this from me?” He hesitated slightly. “Alec said…” He looked over Q closely, trying to see if he was giving any tells that he were lying.  
Q looked away, shaking his head. “I am going to kill that man... Alec and his big mouth.” He rubbed his face with a sigh.  
“So, it is true. I can't believe this. I can't believe that you would…” James stopped himself, knowing how hypocritical he sounded. He sighed lowly, defeat hitting him slowly but surely, making his shoulders drop for a moment before he pulled himself together. “Okay. I... You should've just told me. I'll... I'll leave you alone. Just. Whatever.” James turned away, slowly making his way to the door. He rested his hand on the doorknob for a moment, turning it in his grip, but not opening it yet. “Goodbye, Q,” he whispered, finally leaving.  
Q watched James go with furrowed brows, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. What the hell had just happened? He sat down in his chair, more confused than ever. Q looked up when Alec entered his office. He frowned and came over, pulling Q into his arms. It was rare for him to do this, even right after James had left him. Q didn't cry, but Alec continued to hold him, murmuring apologies.

James dealt with the psych eval, unusually subdued in a way that made them nervous. For once, he also didn't take advantage of the fact. On edge, they got through in just over an hour, sending the all clear up to Mallory at about the same time that the agent made it back to Mallory's office. James didn't speak as he stepped inside his office, Moneypenny curiously hovering behind him. M sighed, glancing up from his computer screen, then finally gestured Bond over, tossing a file into the middle of the desk.

 

Alec walked Q home that night, making sure the Quartermaster was settled in and calm before leaving. Q went and made himself some tea before curling up on the couch with Archimedes. He tried not to think of James or what he had said, but nothing worked. He ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh. He thought about calling James to tell him the truth, he even picked up his phone but put it back. Maybe it was for the best.


	40. Chapter 40

The mission had gone bad, and quickly. The young man James was supposed to be guarding had been betrayed, thrown under by a jealous affair, and now they were being pursued down the back streets of Amsterdam, the man’s breath gurgling as his lung collapsed. If it hadn’t been for a ricocheted bullet, James could have said that the mission was still going well. But with the young man in such danger of dying, the agent was hard pressed to say the mission would succeed at all. There wasn't even anything else James could do for him, not unless he could lose this damned tail. He pressed a hand to the man’s shoulder, holding him steady and pressing down on the wound that was causing the misfortune as he took a sharp turn. The worst part of this whole mess was, and James looked over at the young man again, he reminded him of Q. Young, brilliant, ambitious. MI6 had wanted James to bring him to the embassy, to have him brought into a program where he would be useful to Britain. And in just a second, an accidental shot, and his life was... Basically over. Ending slowly in a painful, terrifying, bloody mess.   
Bond looked sharply back to the road, finally seeing an opportunity. Slipping between cars at an intersection, he turned left and left again, beginning to make his way back towards the embassy as their pursuers got cut off. Hope sparked through Bond’s chest as he got nearer with no retaliation. “Hold on, now. We're almost there,” he said sharply, trying to catch the man’s attention. “Please…” He murmured, more to himself as he finally, finally, reached the embassy. He blared the horn as he entered, alerting everyone that he was there. He killed the engine, jumping from his seat to open the passenger door, letting a medic move forward in his stead. James moved back, pacing a few steps away and giving his report to a guard, but keeping his attention on what was happening back at the car. Bond’s attention was caught by noise at the gates, though it was quickly subdued. Some part of the group following his charge had thought it a good idea to charge the embassy. But when James glanced back to where the medic was still working through the open car door, he saw only stillness. He took a step forward and stopped again, frozen by a strange twisted feeling in his chest.   
That was it then. He had died. James had even gotten him there and still... He cleared his mind, locking it away for now, absentmindedly taking a phone to give a report to Tanner. After an hour or so, they finally let James go, giving him a ride back to the airport. He ordered a drink almost absentmindedly on the plane ride back, but spent the entire trip just gripping the glass, leaving it behind as he got off the plane.

 

Q had been scheduled to take a few days off, but M called him the morning James left, telling him to take the entire week off. Apparently he had heard about their argument and added that to the fact that Q hadn't really left MI6 since James had disappeared and decided that he needed a break. Not that Q was complaining or anything. He was exhausted and used the extra time to catch up on sleep before Maggie and Callum dropped off little Hamish. They were finally going away on their honeymoon and had asked him to babysit while they were gone. How could he refuse? His nephew was the one good thing that came out of this past year without James and Q enjoyed spending time with him.   
When his sister dropped Hamish off, Q got him all settled in, leaving him on a blanket near the cot he would be sleeping in while he was there. He dropped some toys next to him and left for a few minutes to check again that he had everything he needed before returning to find him playing with the cat. He smiled and pulled out his phone to film the moment. Q sat on the floor with them, playing as well. For a moment, his mind wandered, wondering what it would be like to have a family with James, but he shook the thoughts from his head when Hamish got fussy. Q made him a bottle and carefully fed it to him before laying him down for the night.

 

James arrived in London and again slipped by the car waiting to take him back to headquarters. This time, though, he sent Tanner a quick message about his whereabouts, namely London, and that he would check in sometime the next morning. It was something that, two years ago, he would have done and wouldn't have thought twice about, but with the new M in place, plus how thin the ice he was on already was... He sent a succinct message and turned off his phone. James wandered for the longest time, hesitating outside of bars a few times but instead pushing onward until he recognized that even he was running himself to exhaustion after the mission and with the stress of the evening. He glanced around, surprised and yet not surprised to see where his feet had taken him. With a good amount of hesitation, James made it into and through Q’s apartment building until he stood scuffing his shoes outside Q’s door, and even then he almost turned right back around. At the last second, he recognized that this was probably the only way he would get the sleep he needed that night without dipping into his bad habits, and knocked twice on the door briskly.  
Q furrowed his brows when he heard the knock on his door. He wasn't expecting anyone and had made sure that Alec wouldn’t pay him any surprise visits with Hamish around. He went to the door and looked through the peephole, gasping quietly when he saw James. What could he possibly want after what had happened the other day? Q took a deep breath and opened the door. God, the agent looked like hell and all Q wanted to do was take care of him like he used to, but he restrained himself. “Bond, what...? You can't be here. Not right now.” He kept his voice low, not wanting to wake the baby.  
James shook his head lowly, letting his eyes trail over Q and confirm that he was alive and well even when... Well, when others weren't. “I know I shouldn't be here. I'm sorry. I was just… Can I stay here?” He put his hands up to hopefully quiet Q’s obvious denial and continued. “You don't have to talk to me. You don't even have to /look/ at me just… Please. I don't want to be alone right now.” He had almost said the truth, that he couldn't be alone right now, but he recognized how selfish he was being already, asking for space in Q’s life when he had promised that he would leave well enough alone.  
“James…” Q sighed, running his fingers through his hair as he shook his head. “I... I can't. I've got-” He paused and looked at James. “It's not a good time and I really don't think it's a good idea for you to be close to him. Especially right after a mission.”  
James frowned, giving Q a strange look. “Is... Is Alec here, then? I…” He looked down, scuffing his foot slightly. “I'll just….”  
“What?” Q shook his head with furrowed brows. “Why would Alec be here? He's in Borneo trying to stop an assassination.”  
“Why would Alec be here?” James grimaced, trying not to give Q a dirty look. “Maybe because you've been /fucking him/?” He didn't shout, but it was a near thing, just barely low enough that the neighbors probably hadn't heard. “Who is /he/ then, if Alec's not here? Does he know you have someone else on the side, too?” He wiped at his face, barely understanding the wetness on his cheeks. His emotions were all over the place and he just wanted to /sleep/, but he couldn't, not on his own, and not when he was so riled up. That left no options and hopelessness swamped him, dampening any anger he had felt.  
Q frowned at Bond’s words, opening his mouth to tell him that none of that was true, but Hamish began crying. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, wanting to blame James for waking him, but he couldn't. Q left the door open for him as he went back to the bedroom, carefully picking up the baby from his cot. “Shh... Shh... It's alright. Shh…”  
James almost startled backwards, absolutely bewildered at the noises coming from inside. Hesitantly, he followed Q in, watching from the doorway as his quartermaster handled a baby. “Q?” He cautiously asked, instinctively keeping his voice low and soothing.  
Q rubbed the baby's back gently as he tried to calm him down. Finally, he let out a sigh and stepped towards James. “Will you take him while I go get him a bottle?”  
James automatically put his arms out as Q thrust the baby in his direction, then stared at it as Q moved off towards the kitchen. The baby quieted a bit as he seemed to consider the agent, and James carefully bundled him into his arms. Trying to walk without jostling him, he moved over to a nearby chair, sinking into it and staring down at the baby. He blinked sleepily up at James, clenching his fists and waving his arms around a bit, making fussing noises. James rocked him clumsily in his arms, feeling something inside him settle even as the baby calmed. The agent blinked slowly as his eyelids got heavier, waiting for Q to come back with the milk.  
After the few minutes it took for Q to warm up a bottle, he went back out, shaking his head with a small smile when he saw the two of them asleep. He pulled out his phone and snapped a quick picture before going over to carefully remove Hamish from Bond’s chest. He brought him back to the bedroom and laid him in his cot before going back out to the living room.  
James awoke as Q took the baby from his loose arms. He frowned, shaking his head slightly as he sat up, wondering exactly when he had dropped off. He watched Q disappear back into the other room for a while, then reappear. James looked over him for a moment then looked down. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I know you're not supposed to.” He rubbed a hand over his hair, feeling how long it was getting.  
“It's fine.” Q nodded slowly, running his fingers through his hair. “Thank you for, um… For helping me with him,” he said softly as he looked the agent over. James looked exhausted and Q felt the need to take care of him. He sat on the couch and looked down at his hands in his lap, letting out a quiet sigh. “I, um... I'm not… sleeping with… Alec.” He bit his lip, letting the words sink in for a moment. “I don't know what he said to make you think that, but I'm not seeing him. I'm not seeing anyone, for that matter. I tried once a few months ago, but…” He stopped, not wanting to ramble on anymore than he already had.  
James didn't interrupt as Q said his bit, nodding slowly once he was done. “Okay. I believe you. I... I was upset, angry, when I was talking to Alec before, what he said may have been taken out of context, and my reaction... I'm sorry,” James murmured, too washed out to feel much more than a twinge of anxiety about so much truth leaving his lips. “And the other time? It... It didn't work out?” He slid his eyes up to look at Q out of the corner of his eye.  
“I, um… I made up an excuse to leave twenty minutes into our date.” Q chuckled a bit nervously. James was being so truthful with him that he felt it only fair to do the same. “I just wasn't ready. I wasn't over you.” He took a deep breath and whispered. “I'm still not…”  
James straightened in his chair, facing Q fully, hoping that he could see that he wasn't hiding anything, not anymore. “Neither am I. May I... May I enquire about the child?”  
“Hamish?” Q asked with a raised brow. He even managed to smile a bit. “He, um... He's actually the best thing that happened this past year.” He looked at James and shrugged a bit. “He's Maggie's. She and Callum were engaged shortly after she found out. Had Hamish a month after the wedding. They're actually on their honeymoon right now. I'm babysitting for the week.”  
“That's wonderful,” James murmured with a small smile. “Your parents must be so proud.”  
Q scoffed softly at Bond’s words, glancing away before looking down at his hands in his lap. “So, you didn't pay them a visit while you were off doing god knows what in Scotland?”  
James frowned at Q’s words and how he had closed off. “Believe it or not, I have family in Scotland, too,” he said a bit standoffish, then hurriedly tried to correct himself, the tips of his ears turning red. “I mean, they're sort of- just- Well they might as well be-.” He stumbled to a halt, not knowing the words to explain.  
“I don't care as long as you didn't visit my mum. The last thing she needs right now is to be harassed and interrogated by my ex-boyfriend.” Q sighed, running his fingers through his hair.  
James caught onto Q’s choice of words immediately. “Your mum, Q? Did..? What happened?” He moved forward to the edge of his seat, wanting to go sit next to Q and comfort him, but not wanting to push him too hard, especially not right now. He made a note to remember to be offended later that Q thought he was the type of guy to harass someone's /parents/.  
Q sniffled softly, fidgeting with his fingers. “My dad, he…” He took a deep breath to calm himself. “Cancer. Two months before the wedding.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to keep it together.  
“Q, I'm so sorry. I didn't know,” James said softly, giving into his urge to move closer. He left space between them, and it was almost painful, but he kept his hands to himself. “How is your mum taking it? How have /you/ been? Q, I'm so…” He cut off his useless apologies, knowing it wouldn't change anything.  
“I…” Q bit his lip harshly and closed his eyes, letting a tear roll down his cheek. He finally let out a shaky breath and shrugged a bit, instinctively leaning closer to James. “Some days are better than others.”  
James quickly wrapped his arms around Q, rubbing his back soothingly. “It's okay. Shh, you're okay.” He murmured senseless comforting words, shuffling a bit closer as he felt how cold Q’s hands were. “It's okay, I'm here…” He pulled Q snugly into his chest, helping him tuck his head into his neck. With one arm James held him close, the other petting the younger man soothingly anywhere he could reach.  
Q lost it when James pulled him into his arms, just like he had after Q had been taken so long ago. He curled up against the agent, sobbing quietly as tears streamed from his eyes.  
Very carefully, James shifted them back so he was leaning against the arm of the couch, pulling Q to lay against his chest. He blinked away his own stinging eyes, concentrating on comforting Q. With one hand, he tugged the blanket from the back of the couch until it was draped over them, tucking it around them gently. James continued petting him, murmuring quiet words to comfort him.  
Q gently laid his head against Bond’s chest as he continued to cry softly. It felt so good to be in the agent’s arms again that he almost forgot why he had been crying in the first place. He held onto Bond’s shirt gently and closed his eyes as the sobs quieted and he slowly drifted off.  
It took no time for James to follow Q into sleep, the knowledge that he was safe and in his arms enough to soothe the angry mess in his chest left over from the failed mission and his connections between his charge and the Quartermaster. The hope that they still had a chance was back and burning strong, sending James straight into a dreamless sleep.


	41. Chapter 41

When James woke up, simply opening his eyes as an unfamiliar noise echoed through the morning quiet rooms of Q’s flat, they had shifted. Q was curled facing James against the back of the couch, the blanket high on his face, leaving the agent to curl around him in an attempt to not fall off the couch. James smiled down at Q for a moment before turning his attention to the noise. Just as his mind made the connection, Hamish started to fuss louder, working himself up to a cry. James easily slipped from the couch, sparing Q a glance before he moved back to the other room to try and calm the baby before Q woke.  
The Quartermaster grumbled softly when James moved away from him, missing his warmth, but remained asleep. The stress from the night before had taken its toll on him and he was exhausted.  
James changed Hamish's diaper carefully, never having had the opportunity before and very grateful that it wasn't terribly dirty. That done and Hamish well awake, the agent decided to stay in the bedroom and keep Hamish entertained as best he could to let Q sleep as much as he needed.  
It wasn't much longer after that Q awoke with a yawn. He stretched out his arms, confused as to why he was on the couch. He sat up quickly when he remembered Hamish and went back to the bedroom, letting out a quiet sigh of relief when he saw James with him. He smiled softly as he stood in the doorway, watching them.  
James glanced up, smiling when he saw Q. He and Hamish were sitting on the ground with a few blocks between them, though Hamish seemed happy to just pick them up and wave them around. “Good morning.” He looked Q over carefully, glad to see he looked well-rested and relaxed. The Quartermaster didn't seem to be regretful or angry about last night, which was a weight off his shoulders.  
“Hey.” Q smiled a bit as he pushed himself off the doorframe to go over to them. “You could have woken me up. I don't expect you to take care him.”  
“You needed to sleep,” James said, stretching out with a satisfied huff. “And I could do at least this much. Breakfast?” He asked, getting up with a little wave at Hamish. “Honestly, he's an angel anyways. If I had needed help, I would've asked.”  
“I didn't think you knew anything about children,” Q said softly with a small smile, looking down at his nephew. “He's great, isn't he?”  
“I don't really. I've never been around one before unless it was something I passed by on my way to some other goal. But yeah, he's a good kid.” James started to move towards the door, planning on seeing what Q had in the kitchen.  
“James…” Q said, picking up Hamish and going over to him. “You don't... You don't need to do all this. I understand if it's uncomfortable for you…”  
James turned to Q, looking at him with some amusement. “It's okay, Q. I want to do this. I think you're underestimating my comfort levels.”  
“But…” Q bit his lip and looked down at the floor between them before letting out a heavy sigh. “James... Things can't just go back to the way they were. It... It doesn't work like that.”  
James frowned, crossing his arms defensively. “I just want to make breakfast, Q. It's not like I'm moving in.” He rolled his eyes to the side as he cut the end of his sentence off. /Again/... He couldn't say that, seeing as he had never finished the first time. James shook the bitterness off, knowing that soon after he had... Well, caused the whole mess. He resolved to listen to Q, and at least attempt to not get angry and defensive. He purposely uncrossed his arms, relaxing his stance.  
Q bit his lip softly and gently shushed Hamish as he began to fuss before turning back to the agent. “James... You already took care of Hamish for me.” The baby fussed some more. “You didn't feed him, did you?”  
Bond’s brow furrowed slightly as he looked at Hamish. “No, I changed his diaper, though. I didn't know I had to.” He grimaced, it seemed obvious now that Q had said it.  
“No, it's fine.” Q shook his head and brushed past James to go to the kitchen. He took a pre-made bottle from the fridge, uncapping it before putting it in the microwave for a few seconds. Once it was ready, he tested it on his arm and fed it to Hamish with a small smile.  
James watched them quietly, standing post in the doorway to the kitchen. Q looked calm and content, which made him want even less to fight with him, as it was so very rare for him to see the younger man like this nowadays.  
Q stood there in the kitchen, looking down at Hamish as he fed him. He could feel Bond’s eyes on him and sighed. “Just say it,” he said quietly. “Whatever it is, just say it.”  
James shifted slightly, biting the inside of his lip momentarily. “What do I have to do to have what we used to again? I... I miss that. I miss /you/. And everything I do, you step back from, keep yourself removed. I just... I know what I did wrong, and I am never making that mistake again. So how do I fix it? Us?” He shivered slightly in the wake of his words, looking at Hamish instead.  
Q frowned at Bond’s words and let out a heavy sigh. “James, I... It's not a matter of what you have to do. It's... I have to be able to trust you again.”  
James looked back up to Q hopefully, achingly. Pushing off the wall, he took a couple small steps towards him. “Could you? Trust me again? I'll never break it again, never if I can help it. I want to be here for you, for as long as you'll have me. Please know that, no matter what, even if you won't have me back.”  
Q sighed softly and looked down at the baby to avoid the agent’s gaze. He was the only thing keeping him calm. “I'm trying,” he whispered. “It's just... It's hard. God, James, this always happens to me and I know you're trying to make it better, but... It's so hard.”  
“It's okay, Q. It's fine. I don't expect anything of you. You can take as much time as you need. As long as you know that I'll be here.” James ached with the want to be close to Q, but, with effort, stilled his hand. He would stay true to his word and let Q move them forward on his own terms.  
“Will you?” Q asked, finally looking up to meet Bond’s eyes. “Be here, I mean? I... I need a reason to trust you. I can't just go on blind faith alone.”  
James sighed softly in relief. It seemed Q was finally hearing him. “Yes. Yes I'll be here. If I have any choice in the matter, I'll always come back to you.” He hoped Q caught his meaning that he was his… unless MI6 needed him, or he was kidnapped, or anything else happened in his line of work.   
Q bit his lip, nodding slowly as he turned his attention back to Hamish. He let out a shaky sigh. “This is your last chance, James. Don't mess it up.”  
James smiled slightly, dipping his head to try and catch Q’s gaze. “Can I begin this last chance with a question? Are you free tomorrow ni-?” He was cut off by a sharp ringing from his phone. He hesitated, not wanting to break this fragile thing between them, but the shrill of the phone looked like it was disturbing Hamish and he quickly picked it up. “Bond.” He listened mutely to M on the line, finally dropping eye contact with Q and stepping back slightly. “Yes, sir. Of course.” Slowly, he hung up, looking back to Q. “I have to go in…” He said quietly.  
Q listened to James with furrowed brows before nodding with a sigh. “I won't be in until the end of the week, so you'll be working with R. But…” He looked down, carefully shifting Hamish in his arms. “Text me at night? Just so I know you're okay?”  
James grinned as he relaxed, relieved that nothing had been ruined by this intrusion of reality. “I'll text you all night if you want me to.” He winked as he put his phone away and looked around to make sure he wasn't missing anything before glancing to Q again. “I'll see you soon.” He felt almost uneasy again, faced with the possibility that Q could change his mind for any reason. “I'll text in the meantime, if I'm able.”  
Q nodded at Bond’s response, managing to smile a bit. “Be careful, alright? Don't disappear off the face of the earth without at least telling me first.”  
James looked Q over, trying to settle this memory of him in his mind, the first in a long time of you happy, or at least content, in his presence. “I'll tell you as long as you don't snitch to M where I've gone.” James knew he needed to go, but leaving now seemed remarkably hard.  
“You know I won't.” Q smiled, but it faded when Hamish began fussing again. He rocked him gently, his brows furrowed as he tried to calm him. “Shh…”  
James frowned slightly too as Q looked down, but pulled himself away, starting to move towards the door. “Have a nice time with Hamish.” With that, James left the kitchen, quickly lacing up his shoes. He paused with his hand on the doorknob, wondering if he should say something, but then forced himself to leave.  
As James walked away, Q began to hum softly, hoping it would calm the baby in his arms. He hummed the first song that came to mind: All My Loving, the song James had sung to him so many times before.  
Bond’s head snapped up as he heard Q humming the song that he had begun associating to him at the very beginning of their relationship. He closed the door silently behind him, pausing and leaning his forehead against the door to listen to Q for a second longer before pushing off and turning away. As he forwent the elevator to take the stairs, James felt the incredible need to get back to Q again solidly. He would finish this mission as quickly as he could, as by the book as he could, and return to his Quartermaster.  
Hamish finally began to calm down and Q went to lay him down before taking a shower. He smiled softly to himself. He knew Alec and Eve would protest it at first, but he knew that he was happier when he was with James. And it seemed like the agent was really trying to make things better between them.

 

James reported in, hurriedly giving his debriefing for his last mission before being assigned. During the briefing, he could feel M and Moneypenny giving him looks as he behaved decorously, but after his restful night, it was easy to ignore it. There wasn't any time for M to see if James was up to something, but Moneypenny followed him into the elevators as he made his way to Q Branch to be outfitted. “Where were you last night? I haven't seen you act like this... well, ever.”  
James let his lips tilt upward, not answering her as the doors opened, letting him out. She stayed there, but he could see the way she rocked forwards a second as if to follow him. It almost made him crack a real grin as he turned to face her. If he had known how easy it could be to cause a stir... “I was somewhere I'd like to call home.” He finally threw out, just as the doors began to close. James saw a few seconds of her expression, enough to read consternation and suspicion before the doors slid home. With a satisfied air, he made his way through Q Branch and to the airport with speed.

 

Q spent the rest of the day playing with Hamish and working while he slept. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so at ease. Despite his peacefulness, he still worried about James. Q hoped that the mission wouldn't take too long. He paused in his typing, realizing that he missed James. However, it was a completely different feeling than the emptiness he had felt for the last year.

 

The mission seemed to take forever. Despite his normal habits, James stayed well within the lines on this mission, quietly dispatching his target with little need for help from Q Branch at all. Setting up a clean kill and the clean up still took a couple days, but once it was done, he was on a plane back to London, using the trip to complete the paperwork instead of flirting with the flight attendant and wasting time trying to get out of the paperwork later. James swanned through headquarters, dropping off his paperwork into the arms of astounded office workers on his way to M's office, something that had never happened before. Moneypenny was already giving him a strange look as he passed her on the way into the office, but it was nothing to the look M gave him when he took a seat in front of him.

 

Q thought about James a lot during the week, Hamish being the only distraction from his wandering thoughts. R informed him that James had returned to headquarters with his equipment and he smiled softly to himself, wondering if the agent would come around at all that night.

 

After the rather longer than necessary meeting, in which M questioned him almost suspiciously about every aspect of the mission and the trip home like he was confused that there was nothing exploded or on fire, James went back to the flat to shower and change. After a light dinner, he began to walk to Q’s place, pausing at a shop along the way. Not too long after, he reached the flat, taking the stairs up and knocking lightly on the door, holding up the small grouping of mini sunflowers he had bought from the flower shop so it would be the first thing Q saw.  
Q had been sitting on the couch, feeding Hamish his bottle, when he heard a knock on the door. He got up, careful not to jostle the baby too much, and went to answer the door. He was immediately greeted by the bright yellow sunflowers James held in his hand, biting back a smile as he met the agent’s eyes. “You brought me flowers?”  
“Sunflowers. For happiness.” James grinned at Q over the flowers. “At least, I hope you're happy that I'm back from my mission safe, and with all the equipment undamaged.” He dropped the sunflowers down to his side, making sure they weren't being crushed. “Is it okay for me to come in? Or are you busy with Hamish?”  
“No! No, of course you can come in.” Q stepped aside, looking at Hamish with a small smile and bouncing him gently before closing the door behind James. “I take it the mission went well, then?”  
James turned to Q with a smug grin after taking a quick glance around the room. “What, you're not getting constant updates from your department? I thought they would come running scared to you after this one anyways, everyone else seems terrified. I think M thought I was defecting for a while after I got back.”  
Q smiled a bit as he glanced back at James. “So, is that a good thing or a bad thing?” He asked with a smirk, bouncing Hamish again as he began to fuss. “I'm going to lay him down and then I'll be right back, okay?”  
“I'll wait here,” James nodded politely as Q turned away. “And try to figure out whether or not it's a good thing M thinks I'm defecting.” He rolled his eyes skywards, smiling as he leaned against the wall, watching Q move away.  
Q smiled to himself as he went back to the bedroom to lay Hamish down in his cot. Once he was settled, Q returned, stepping into the kitchen. “Tea? Or do you need something stronger?”  
James shook my head, pushing off the wall to move almost unconsciously closer to Q. “No, tea is fine. How has your week off been?” He shuffled the sunflowers to his other hand before looking for somewhere to put them. “You wouldn't happen to have a vase, would you?”  
“That... is a good question.” Q paused and glanced around the kitchen with furrowed brows, finally just pulling a tall glass out of the cupboard and filling it with water. “That'll work, right?” He shrugged and set the glass on the table before going to fill the kettle. “It was nice having having some time off, but Maggie and Callum are coming to pick up Hamish tonight. So, I'll be back at work in the morning.” He shrugged and turned to look at the agent with a small smile. “The mission went well? You're not hurt?”  
James placed the sunflowers into the glass, wasting time arranging them just to keep his hands busy with something. “No, not even a bruise. I'm sure medical is having a celebratory party as we speak; a double-oh entered and left without complaint and wasn't injured in any way.” He turned away from the flowers finally, leaning against the counter next to them comfortably and watching as Q busied himself with the teapot. “How are they doing, Maggie and Callum? Not that I can imagine a world where they are anything less than happy together, but a child definitely adds a new dynamic to any situation.” His mind went back to the morning before he had left on his mission, how having Hamish there had calmed the situation down before it could possibly escalate into another fight. 'Strange new unexpected dynamics,' James thought to himself, the truth of it making him tense as he thought of how that morning could've gone otherwise. He shook it off, looking at Q. They were both there now. That's what mattered.  
“They're doing really well,” Q nodded, glancing back at James with a smile before pouring them each a cup of tea. “I don't think I've ever seen them as happy as they are now. But Hamish has sort of had that effect on everyone.” He shrugged, handing the agent a cup of tea, their fingers brushing against each other.  
James couldn't help the small grin as he met Q’s gaze, pressing the cup against his breastbone to let the heat soak in. “I'm glad I got the chance to meet him, and…” ‘I'm glad you decided to give me another chance.' The words were on the tip of his tongue, but they were interrupted by a sudden bustle at the the door of the apartment as Maggie and Callum let themselves in the open door.  
“Why did you give me a key if you were going to leave the door open, you twat?” Maggie's voice echoed a bit awkwardly in the quiet flat as she suddenly took in that there was an unexpected extra person in the flat.   
James could see the moment when she recognized him, her eyes hardening. “Hello Maggie, Callum,” James said a bit sheepishly.  
Q smiled at them both and stepped forward to give his sister a hug, but she had another idea. She brushed passed him, fists clenched as she stalked towards James. The agent watched calmly as she walked, sure that, even though she obviously wasn't pleased, he didn't have anything to worry about. He was, therefore, unpleasantly surprised when she swung at him, actually connecting as he concentrated on not spilling his tea. James was jostled enough that he was splashed by the still hot water and he nursed the wound quietly as he watched the scene unfold before him.  
Q’s eyes widened as her fist collided with the agent’s face and he nearly tossed his mug aside to jump forward, pulling her away from James before she could do any more damage. "What the hell is this shithead doing here, Will?!" She nearly shouted at him.  
“Maggie, just calm down, will you? God…” Q shook his head and stepped toward James, looking him over with a frown as he grabbed a towel. “Are you alright?”  
Maggie rolled her eyes and cut in. "Don't you tell me to calm down, Billy! Are you forgetting what he did to you? How could you let him near you again? How could you let him near our baby?! Are you mad?!"   
Q sighed and turned on her. “What? You think I haven't thought about this? I know he's a shithead. /He/ knows he's a shithead. But it's not like he's dangerous. He's not here to hurt me and he would never hurt Hamish.”  
James accepted the towel from Q, still keeping quiet, sure that if he were to try and cut in, he would just make it worse. Or even get hit again. However, as the voices in the kitchen started getting louder, the agent started looking nervously toward the bedroom, worried about Hamish. He set down the towel, slipping away and checking on him. He wasn't screaming, but he was well on his way, his tiny hands curled into fists and his face turning an unhappy red. James picked him up carefully, bouncing him gently and murmuring nonsensically to him. As he paced, he glanced up, seeing movement in the doorway, only to see Callum watching him. “Do you want him?” James asked, offering him to Callum. “I just wanted to make sure he wasn't getting too stressed out by the arguing.”  
Callum shook his head, leaning against the door frame and glancing back out at where Q and Maggie were still going at it. “No, you've got him.” James blinked at the unexpected show of trust, but turned his attention back to Hamish, who was finally calmed down.  
The fight in the kitchen only seemed to escalate further. "He's already hurt you more than anyone should!" Maggie shouted at Q. "What the hell were you thinking, Will?! Are you forgetting what he did to you? You've been a wreck for a year because of that arse and you're just going to let him back into your life like nothing ever happened?"   
Q shook his head at her incredulously. “You think I haven't thought about this? I wanted nothing to do with him when he first came back. Hell, I haven't even fully forgiven him yet-”  
She cut him off. "Would you let Daniel back into your life if he showed up at your door? Would you? God, Will, I thought you'd learned your lesson by now."  
Bond’s head snapped up at the name 'Daniel', accidentally causing him to meet and hold Callum's gaze as he began to pay attention to the conversation. Callum frowned in confusion, watching the agent’s actions, then his face cleared. “Q's never mentioned Daniel, has he.”  
James pursed his lips, shaking his head 'no' sharply. Callum sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and moved back out to the other room. James followed him to the door, but stayed out of sight of the main room to listen in as best he could.  
Q stared at Maggie incredulously for a moment, looking away when he felt the sting of tears in his eyes. He shook his head, barely glancing at Callum when he came back through. “Get out,” Q said softly. “Just go.”  
James held the now sleeping Hamish closer to his chest and stepped back from the doorway as he heard footsteps approaching. He could hear Maggie and Callum muttering to each other, but couldn't quite make out what they were saying. There was a moment of tension as Maggie entered the room and saw Hamish in his arms, but she just stiffly held out her hands and James allowed her to take him. He left them, going back out to the main room to find Q. On the way, he found his tea to give to Q, even though it was going cold.  
Q bit his lip softly as he stared down at the floor, crossing his arms over his chest. He shook his head when James offered the cup to him, still not raising his eyes from the floor. Once they had finished packing up the baby's things, Maggie and Callum left, the latter giving them an apologetic smile.  
James sat calmly on the couch next to Q, sipping his cooled tea and giving the younger man some space. He hoped that Q would choose to tell him the story himself.  
Q bit his lip and hugged his knees to his chest, avoiding Bond’s gaze. He knew he owed the agent an explanation but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Not yet. “I-I'm sorry…”  
James turned to Q, setting his near empty mug on the side table. “Don't apologize for someone who's hurt you. Do you... want me to leave now?” He asked, looking down and away.  
Q bit his lip softly and shook his head. The last thing he wanted was to be alone.  
“Okay then…” James sat back, leaning his head against the back of the couch and looking up at the ceiling. “Do you want to talk? Or we could make dinner. Your choice.” He looked at Q.  
The Quartermaster sighed softly and removed his glasses, rubbing his face with a sigh. “I don't think I could eat if I tried…”  
James chewed his lip,trying to decide how far he should reach in trying to help Q ,before standing slowly. He hesitated for a second longer, then leaned down and took the glasses from where they dangled threateningly at the tips of Q’s fingers. With his other hand, he tugged at Q’s wrist, urging him to stand, hoping he wasn't pushing him too far. When Q stood, James carefully placed the glasses back onto his face so he could see clearly. “Into bed, I think, then. Maybe a shower first, if you're up for it.” He shifted his weight slightly. “I... I can leave, if you'd like, or I could stay. I'll sleep on the couch again.”  
“Stay,” Q said before he had the chance to even really think about what he was saying. “Please?” He didn't want to force James to stay, especially if the situation was making him uncomfortable.  
“I will,” James said simply, turning to lead Q down the hall towards the bedroom. “Do you want to take a shower?” He asked, halting outside the bathroom.  
Q nodded his head slowly, letting out a shaky breath. He was relieved that James had agreed to stay.  
James nodded, reaching just inside to turn on the light. “Okay, go and find clothes that you want to wear afterwards. I'll get this started.” He waited until Q had entered the bedroom before stepping into the bathroom to turn on the water. He found a towel and set it out before going to wait for him in the hall.  
Q glanced around his room and grabbed some clean pajamas before stepping back out into the hall, looking up at James for a moment before going through to the bathroom.  
When the door closed behind Q, James went back out to the living room, picking up the teacups and washing them, then absentmindedly straightening up. The whole time he wondered what he was doing there, why he was still there. He couldn't be acting like this around Q, hovering and pushing him around. And the only other brand of 'helping' James knew... well, he wouldn't be doing that. Especially with the confusing 'Daniel' history hanging between them. So, why did Q want him there? James heard the shower shut off and sat down on the couch, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He dropped his head forward, running his hands through his hair a few times, distantly thinking that he would need a haircut soon. When the bathroom door opened, he sat up, looking towards the hall and wondering if he should go and see if Q was okay.  
Q rubbed his eyes and wandered out to the end of the hall, making sure James was still there. He sighed softly when he saw that the agent was. “Thank you,” Q said softly. “I, um... You... You'll still be here in the morning?”  
As easy as anything, all the questioning and the worrying slid away. “I'll be here,” James answered in the same tone, relaxing against the back of the couch and tugging a blanket on the other end of the couch closer to him.  
Q nodded a bit and scratched the back of his head. “Do you, um... do you need anything?”  
James smiled over at him. “I'll be fine Q, get some rest.” He shrugged out of his overshirt, folding it over the arm of the couch.   
Q nodded, standing there a moment longer before going back to his room and getting into bed. He stared up at the ceiling for a moment, his head reeling with thoughts of his past. It all came rushing back to him just with the mention of a name. He wished he could block it out. He just wanted to forget it all, but he knew that James deserved to know. With a heavy sigh, he curled up onto his side and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to overcome him.   
James woke at some point in the night, unsure of what had woken him but alert. He didn’t have to wait long for his answer though, as hesitant footsteps sounded across the floor towards him.  
Q bit his lip softly as he padded his way over to the agent’s sleeping form, hesitating for a moment before reaching out to touch his shoulder. “James?” He said quietly.   
James didn’t flinch at the soft touch, only shifting enough to let Q know he was awake. “Q,” He murmured simply.  
The younger man inhaled softly and pulled his hand away, wrapping his arms around himself. “I, um… Would you… I can’t sleep,” he said finally, hoping James would understand.  
“Would you like help?” James slowly sat up, blinking the last vestiges of sleep away. “What do you need, Q?”   
Q looked away for a moment, rubbing his tired eyes with a quiet sigh. “Would you… come to bed with me? Please?” yiss  
James freed his legs from the blanket, taking his time folding it before standing making sure he left space between them in case Q was uncomfortable. “Lead the way.”   
Q bit his lip softly as he slowly reached out to James, taking his hand gently before leading him down the hall and to the bedroom. He only released the agent’s hand so the two of them could get into bed. It took James a moment to get under the covers, but as soon as he could, he turned towards Q, curling on his side as he watched the younger man take off his glasses and slide in next to him. He wanted to reach out, but thoughts of the last time they had shared a bed kept him from reaching out. Q was in an emotional state right now, was this something he’d regret in the morning again? He was nowhere near a similar state as he had been, they weren’t in the same state. But who was James to assume again what Q could want? This was an entirely different Q from the one he had even known yesterday before his sister had come to pick up Hamish. And because Q had never spoken of Daniel before, he couldn’t even estimate his reactions. He didn’t outwardly show any indication of his spiralling thoughts, but it was still hard to contain a flinch when he felt Q pushing aside the blanket, huddling close to James. With a soft huff, he wrapped an arm over Q’s back, feeling Q’s breath gust against his neck as he relaxed, settling after a few sleepy shifts.   
Q’s breathing evened out after a while, lulled to sleep by the beating of the agent’s heart. The young Quartermaster was exhausted from all the emotions that had been drawn out of him. He knew he had a lot of explaining to do, but he could put it off until morning.


End file.
